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My First Child is Off to Summer Camp (and I Never Got to Go)
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I never went to summer camp.
In fifth grade, Girl Scout camp presented me with my first opportunity, but my Spanish-born mom who was unfamiliar with and somewhat suspicious of this all-American summer tradition, surmised it was an unnecessary risk to send me away with strangers for a week. Despite my relentless pleading and insistence that everyone else was going, she refused to let me go.
Thus my only experience with summer camp was through movies, most of which involved boy-crazed girls daring each other to lose their virginity before the end of summer or worse, pot-smoking teens killed in inventive ways by masked, deranged killers. Little did I know that these images would haunt me years later when my husband, Sean, and I put our 8-year-old on a yellow school bus for her first trip to Girl Scout camp.
Unlike me, Sean went to camp, so he enjoyed this rite of passage with our daughter in a very different way. His eyes still light up when he recalls sixth grade summer hockey camp, the excitement of packing his duffle bag and the nervous butterflies-in-his-stomach feeling of being dropped off by Mom and Dad for his first trip alone with his buddies.
Truthfully, I was genuinely excited for our daughter. I can still see her nervous, beautiful smile as she peeled herself away from our hugs and climbed onto the bus with all her friends. Here I was 27 years later, finally participating in this childhood ritual and avenging my own sad memory of feeling left out of the experience. My mom didn't let me go, but I was sophisticated and trusting enough to know that Freddy Kruger would not show up at Camp Roundelay. At the tender age of 8, my daughter would get her first taste of adult-chaperoned independence, a formative experience that would foreshadow her flight into adulthood a mere 10 years down the road (yikes, that's soon!).
Nonetheless, as she drove away, twinges of fear and few movie flashbacks came over me and I was surprised by how much sympathy I felt in that moment for my own mom who all those years ago was simply doing the best she knew how. As the bus turned the corner, I said a prayer for my daughter's safety. Then I went home and called my mom, because coming to understand her more everyday has been one of the best and most unexpected gifts of parenting.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-30-2010 @ 6:37PM
Michelle said...Rachel,
Good for you to be able to send your child to summer camp-that's just something I could never do! I don't blame you for feeling uneasy-I would be a wreck!
I actually love having my 4 kids home with me in the summer. We have so little time to parent our children, I cherish every sun-kissed moment. I love all of our free time together to do as we please-picnics, walks, tennis, going to parks, strawberry picking, visiting friends,sleeping in...the list goes on. I never wanted to go to summer camp and my kids say they don't want to, either. My oldest child said she might be interested in it at some point, but right now she is into her friends on our block and she LOVES to read. She's been very busy lounging in the nice weather with a good book, reading as many library books as she can!
I suppose if I or my kids were adventurous I would have a different mindset about summer camp. I was forced to go to Girl Scout "day camp" when I was young, but hated every minute of it. Smelly tents, cooking over a hot fire in the blazing sun, dirty man-made lakes and lots of strange camp leaders--not my cup of tea! And I missed home, even though it was only a day camp. Hopefully things have changed, because I made to feel quite uncomfortable there. I remember the leaders not really being attentive to my concerns (like when I didn't want to go swimming because I was having my first period and only knew how to use pads). Sorry, I just don't trust those teen and 20-somethings watching my precious girls.
I do have to say I'm a bit surprised that you let your daughter attend such a camp, though. Not sure if you are aware of it, but the Girl Scouts have been in the news regarding their involvement with Planned Parenthood? ( I can't out a link on here, but Google C-FAM, and in their website, seach for Girl Scouts). I'm just saying you need to be careful because what happens in your troop may not be the same as what happens at camp! I've decided to take my girls out of GS next year. We are way to busy with other things, and I have also come to find out they are very unorganized, and their most important goal is making money, not to : "build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place."
And I was just wondering, is this something that happened a couple years ago? I thought your daughter was 10 (I remembered that because my daughter is the same age).
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7-01-2010 @ 5:12AM
Alicia said...Good for you and great for your daughter! I went to camp for a couple weeks every summer growing up because I got to see, do and learn things I never would at home and I regretted it dreadfully when "home friends" accompanied me. To this day (I'm 20) I aspire to be an independent, patient, funny, free-thinking and kind woman like my counselors. I come from a fairly typical suburban family, so being introduced to roll models of different beliefs, races, experiences and even countries was enlightening. I hope your daughter adores it as much as I did.
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7-02-2010 @ 3:02PM
Sifrina said...She sounds so grown up! Soon your daughter will be home sharing all her exciting adventures with you! Girls Scouts camp is so great! My son is 8 and goes to a wonderful day camp in the country, 15 minutes from our house, but I'm not sure he's ready for the overnight thing yet - totally up to him (but I'd be a wreck!).
As a small child, I went to day camp (both my parents worked FT) with all the usual summer fun things - swimming, tennis, horseback riding, color wars, hikes, cook outs, crafts. I looked forward to my summers and never got upset I missed out on those unstructured days many kids have at home (I did that on the weekends). As I got older, I did the overnight camp thing - including Girl Scouts and even a Spanish immersion camp! I loved the experience so much I became a CIT and then a counselor (my first paid job!). Maybe your daughter will do that someday - maybe even at a Spanish camp (which I'm sure your mom and you will both approve of). The DC area has lots of great camps nearby for after Sean wins :-)
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7-02-2010 @ 3:12PM
Sifrina said...Michelle - Rachel has a couple school age daughters so I don't think this is the one you are thinking of. Also, I'm sure she wouldn't just put her child on the bus w/out thoroughly researching the camp, the counselors, etc. I'm also certain she wouldn't do this if she didn't feel her daughter was ready for the experience! I loved Girl Scouts camp and the other camps I went to. The key is to find a quality camp.
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7-02-2010 @ 6:23PM
Michelle said...I'm pretty sure her other school-aged daughter is only kindergarten-age, and when she she titled her entry with my "first" child, I took it to mean her oldest daughter. Anyway, it doesn't matter, maybe this did happen a couple years ago (which is why I asked about Girl Scouts, as they were in the news earlier this year, and I was wondering if Rachel's daughters are still doing Girl Scouts in spite of that. I am familiar with that particular camp as I live in WI, too, so I know it is a GS camp). The camp is probably fine, I was just curious as to if she actually sent her daughter there a couple years ago, and if she did, did she enjoy it? Would love to know the highs and lows of the camp as I have 4 daughters :)
7-04-2010 @ 10:03AM
Sifrina said...Michelle - You're right - she does say "first child."
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