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Last week, I appeared on the Fox News Channel to discuss the availability of condoms at Veterans Memorial Elementary School in Provincetown, Mass. Here's the clip:
This story has generated a lot of comments, so I wanted to clarify my position: There is no insidious plot by the government to force children to start having sex.
Of course, it is disturbing to think of sexually active elementary school kids, but is it better for school officials to bury their heads in the sand or address the problem?
I don't think 6-year-olds should be given condoms, and the Provincetown officials who wrote the policy are not suggesting that they should be. According to published reports, the policy would make condoms available if students ask for them. Availability does not mean forced distribution. No one was planning on giving rubbers to kindergarteners. The new curriculum isn't crayons, crackers and condoms.
The unfortunate fact is that many children are having sex at a young age. Remember Alfie Patten and his girlfriend Chantelle Stedman? Patten was 12 years old when he slept with Stedman, who was 15. Stedman's mother reportedly told her young daughter to keep quiet about the other boys she had slept with. At the time, they were not certain Patten was the father, because Stedman had had multiple sex partners.
Maybe if someone had spoken to her or her boyfriends about using condoms, Stedman wouldn't have become a mother before starting high school. Maybe she would have waited until she was older to start having sex at all.
So, what is the right age to make birth control available to students? I honestly don't know. What I do know, however, is the question is more complex than it may seem. One ParentDish commenter says there are girls who get their periods as early as third grade. That alone does not make a girl sexually active, but it can lead her to ask questions. What if the girl is uncomfortable going to her parents for advice? What if she is being pressured by a boy at school to do something she isn't ready to do? Shouldn't she feel comfortable going to a school nurse and asking what is happening to her body?
Beth Singer (no relation) tells the Boston Globe that if a very young child were to visit the school nurse and request a condom, "we would deal with it in a professional and appropriate way." They would not simply hand the kid a pack of Trojans.
As for parental involvement, Provincetown residents had the chance to give their say when the committee held a televised forum on June 8 to debate the issue. According to the Globe, no one showed up.
Three weeks later, the story went national. When confronted by parents and politicians on both sides of the aisle (it's an election year), committee members responded to criticism and now may rewrite the rules so that condoms are only made available to older children.
Ask and ye shall receive, right?
The bottom line: This is a local issue, not a national one. If the community of Provincetown, Mass. wants to implement this policy, it has every right to do so. If there is a lesson to be learned from "condomgate," it's that if something is happening in your community that you don't like, get involved. Participate in the process.
Like the song says, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.
Related: New British Sex Education Curriculum Would Include Younger Kids
This story has generated a lot of comments, so I wanted to clarify my position: There is no insidious plot by the government to force children to start having sex.
Of course, it is disturbing to think of sexually active elementary school kids, but is it better for school officials to bury their heads in the sand or address the problem?
I don't think 6-year-olds should be given condoms, and the Provincetown officials who wrote the policy are not suggesting that they should be. According to published reports, the policy would make condoms available if students ask for them. Availability does not mean forced distribution. No one was planning on giving rubbers to kindergarteners. The new curriculum isn't crayons, crackers and condoms.
The unfortunate fact is that many children are having sex at a young age. Remember Alfie Patten and his girlfriend Chantelle Stedman? Patten was 12 years old when he slept with Stedman, who was 15. Stedman's mother reportedly told her young daughter to keep quiet about the other boys she had slept with. At the time, they were not certain Patten was the father, because Stedman had had multiple sex partners.
Maybe if someone had spoken to her or her boyfriends about using condoms, Stedman wouldn't have become a mother before starting high school. Maybe she would have waited until she was older to start having sex at all.
So, what is the right age to make birth control available to students? I honestly don't know. What I do know, however, is the question is more complex than it may seem. One ParentDish commenter says there are girls who get their periods as early as third grade. That alone does not make a girl sexually active, but it can lead her to ask questions. What if the girl is uncomfortable going to her parents for advice? What if she is being pressured by a boy at school to do something she isn't ready to do? Shouldn't she feel comfortable going to a school nurse and asking what is happening to her body?
Beth Singer (no relation) tells the Boston Globe that if a very young child were to visit the school nurse and request a condom, "we would deal with it in a professional and appropriate way." They would not simply hand the kid a pack of Trojans.
As for parental involvement, Provincetown residents had the chance to give their say when the committee held a televised forum on June 8 to debate the issue. According to the Globe, no one showed up.
Three weeks later, the story went national. When confronted by parents and politicians on both sides of the aisle (it's an election year), committee members responded to criticism and now may rewrite the rules so that condoms are only made available to older children.
Ask and ye shall receive, right?
The bottom line: This is a local issue, not a national one. If the community of Provincetown, Mass. wants to implement this policy, it has every right to do so. If there is a lesson to be learned from "condomgate," it's that if something is happening in your community that you don't like, get involved. Participate in the process.
Like the song says, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.
Related: New British Sex Education Curriculum Would Include Younger Kids











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-30-2010 @ 8:15PM
muppetsbabygirl said...I have to agree with the policy...And before some of you get huffy and hard-nosed about it I do not subscribe to the whole "give 'em a condom cause they're gonna do it anyway" attitude. I do subscribe to the attitude that it is true that kids are sexually active as young as 10. My own children, ages 8 and 7 have began to ask questions, especially the girl. Coming to me one day and asking me why boys on her bus, some of them high school age, talk about how good a "blow job" was and what was a "blow job" anyway? My husband and I were dumb-founded! My husband turned red, not an easily embarrassed man and quickly left the room muttering something about changing the oil in the van...I was left to field that volley and answered that it was something she shouldn't worry about until she was older and no that did not work, she looked me in the eye and stated she could always ask the older girls. So I was forced to tell her what it was which led to the whole where babies come from speech. I also told her that she should wait until she was an adult, she was with someone she trusted and held in affection if not love and that she should ALWAYS use birth control. Now that I have had to face this parenting nightmare I urge other parents to not bury their heads in the sand with the that trite argument that making condoms available will only urge kids to have sex is in a word stupid. It only means that you are encouraging you child to be responsible and to encourage an open line of communication. Shutting down and not facing the fact that your children have questions will make the child uncomfortable and avoid you whenever sex is a topic...this may lead to a situation you thought might never happen. If you still think that condoms are not for your child, and that your angel will remain lily white just for you, think again, and think also that you may become a grandparent before you or your child are ready!
Reply
6-30-2010 @ 10:24PM
Ronni said...Our society today is so horribly lacking in spiritual instruction and insight. Instead of debating whether or not to give out condoms to school kids, we should be teaching our children spiritaul values and life styles. It's no wonder that our country is in such moral decline.
7-19-2010 @ 1:06AM
Chelsey said...Please Ronni, leave the spiritual talk out of this. Why comment on a story about sexual education when all you're going to do is spout nonsense about the lack of spirituality leading to a moral decline? I'm an atheist and I have plenty of morals so your argument means nothing.
Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with giving children condoms when they ask for them. Even if you have "the talk" some children are just going to do it so protection should be available. I'm not condoning sex at a young age by any means, but a lot of children don't have the parental figures who pay attention or care what is going on their young one's life. These children are simply not taught what the consequences might be for their actions.
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