Missed Parent-Teacher Conferences Could Mean Jail Time for Parents

ok theres more going on here in this event then someone missing a parent teacher conference this is an example of parents dont care what im doing. what kind of parent doesnt know where their child is at 2 AM let alone out of the house! if they were in bed sleeping then that shows you right there they let this child walk all over them and do whatever he wants. he had no set rules since a little tot. and free to roam and do as he wishes made him a monster. listen parents..this is not a time to spare the children any more.. we need to bring back some sort of punishment that is harsh for these kids to put the fear of God and PARENT back in them.. i was brought up on belts shoes and good old fashioned spankings and i'll be darned if i dont have respect for my elders and im 40 now and have never been in trouble with the law on the exception of a speeding ticket. not knowing where your child is and NOT CARING! is APPALLING!! that is why michigan has gone to hell in a handbasket. thats why jobs got up and left because of single parenting, lack of parenting..
we dont need these parents to go to parent teacher conferences we need to make them go take parenting classes and once they pass those give them a parenting license..!!! ridiculous... and im so sick of hearing of the step mom or step dad or boyfriend or girlfriends killing the kids of the person they are with so that there isnt anyone else in the pictured but them... how vain is that? you know the center of the universe doesnt revolve around YOU?

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Give the kids to the republicans!

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Bring back the stocks and the whipping post. A dose of public humiliation might just instill in some of these children (and their stuporous parents) some much needed shame. And maybe, just maybe a little shame might lead to a sense of accountability.

...then again, seeing how this country's going to hell in a handbasket, something like this would probably just be turned into a reality show.

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put the kids in jail for murder not the parents putting parents to jail is not the answer these kids can kill these kids can get life. take tht to law makers and puttem in jail like adults

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are you kidding me? If I discipline my child I can go to jail...if I do not my child can get shot in the street by a cop and he gets off walking out of the court with a smile on his face while I bury my child who is then thrown into a statistic of society...mind you the very same bastards who said I could not discipline him in the first place. Now, it's if I do not attend the parent teachers conference you wish to throw me in jail???what the hell??? Have these people lost their minds?!! Home schooling is beginning to look better and better each moment to me.

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I have so much to say to some of you twits that my brain is tired just thinking about it.

Neither of my parents ever attended a parent/teacher conference about me. Neither of my parents ever attended one of my school events. I have never been arrested. I have never done anything that called for an arrest. I have never done illegal drugs. Why, you ask...BS you say.

Nope, no BS. Why? Because my parents raised me with discipline. Corporal punishment that would get a parent arrested and probably cause them to lose custody of their children in this day and time. I was never abused. I was punished. Big difference....which many people cannot see. My parents actually HIT me! They hit me on the BUTT and only on the butt! With a BELT!

My parents raised four boys (none ever arrested) to be good citizens. I think they did an outstanding job.

I would say "try it and see the results" but these days the results would be jail time and an abuse record. I wonder who is to blame for that. Could it be the same folks who are crying because little Johnny has to go to jail as a teen then spends half of the rest of his life behind bars?

One more comment. Dr. Spook once wrote a book on parenting. In this book he advocated never hitting your child. The book was very popular and many parents raised their children according to Dr. Spook. When he was in his sixties he had his first child. Shortly thereafter he said raising a child had taught him a lot. One lesson he learned was that when he wrote his famous book he didn't know what he was talking about.

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I agree parents should attend parent-teacher conferences, but threatening them with jail time is not the answer. Jails are pushed to the maximum as it is. I worked in Children's Services for many years -- believe me, when a parent does not care about their child(ren), there is nothing on God's green earth that can make them care. Not taking their children away, not denying vistation, and not putting them up for adoption. I always tried to give every parent the benefit of the doubt, and was always willing to work with them on whatever the issues were, but some just didn't care about their children. I came away very hardened from that job. I don't know what the answer is.

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It is not always the parents fault that their kids chose to do the things they do. I agree that parents need to be there for their kids. I remember when my oldest son was 14 and he was skipping school. I was a single parent working graveyard shift. I had another son who was 12 at the time. I went tp conferences etc. It was to no avail. I even met with the vice princple, the poloice officer at the school with my son. The meeting was a farce as they threatened my son with handcuffing me to him so he would be in school. I told them be real. I have a job, and another son who needs me too so if I can't sleep to work who will take care of us. I also told them they could have ne do that if they chose only it would desturb the other kids . More was said, nothing they could do.

A few weeks later my son snuck out of the house on my nite off. I had told him earlier he could not go out with his friends..He did anyway. At 1am a policewoman called and said she had my son. I told her she couldn't have my son as he was told he couldn't go out. She could take him to juvie. She replied that I had 5 mins to show up and pick him up or she would come and arrest me for unprotective pare4nt. I had my 12 yr old so I went. In my opinion what it did was show my son there was no laws for him it was my fault.

My question is when a parent ask for help and they are told there is no funding for a " level 7" child out of contorl to deal with it, and all forms of punshment is for the adults when do the kids get to handel their own punisments.. I believe if my son would have been treated with a serious punishment it would have helped him later in life. Instead he laughed at me and said go ahead and call whoever you want they won't help you.. There are no easy answers.

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In theory what will happen is this, parents will say they homeschool whether they do or they don't. They'll take the money that would be offered to the school district should the child attend the um,,,,4th Friday at the beginning of the year. (if the child is absent that one day, the school does not get the money which I think is rediculous because there are reasons that a child might miss class (flu, etc). Anyway...there are parents in Detroit that are working and sometimes they are not able to get away, however they might be able to reschedule for a video conference, or something. I get the point that there are X number of crackhead parents who are simply having kids for the benefit of another amount on the welfare roll. I worked for DMC for a while and mom's even came in with their one leg up to show their gangness.

If I were a kid in Cass Corridor or living in the DMC area, I wouldn't want to try to get to school either. There are better areas to live (and collect the welfare checks), but that would mean moving for the safety of the kids and away from the dealer du jour. True you can get drugs anywhere, but ya can't love your kids and love the habit quite so much. It is a matter of caring. Caring can come in several ways. Demand cleaner safer schools and a way to and from school that has Michigan's Drug Free School Zone posted and nail the SOB's who break the law. Clamp down on gangs. Not all 'gangs' of kids are trouble. It can be safer to go with people to and from school. Parents have to take the time and play ball, (hARDBALL) with their kids. There are tremendous offerings in the Great City of Detroit. Theater, Dance, Song, Museums,a Zoo and many groups that help kids be kids and talented kids. Kids can grow up mean in Detroit, hell the news has basted the city a hellhole, when it really is not. Kids also can grow up good and smart and kind and happy. It takes parenting and a drugless and caring and loving role model or two or 20 or 50.

I love Detroit and its people. It will recover and come out better than ever. The people of the city will see to it.

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I can tell a lot of you are in your twenties or thirties.Some of you are hitting the nail on the head,but there are a lot of nails.And some of you are clueless.As always you have to go back in history to see what changed that provoked this.To fix a cars engine,a good mechanic will always go back to basics and check the plugs first.Depending how far back you go,most americans were farmers.Children were endowed with responsibilities and chores.And they learned very early on if they did not help slop the hogs,or collect the hens eggs,or milk the cows,or help plow the fields or gardens, that there would be no bacon or eggs or milk or steak or fried chicken,fruits or veggies on the table.An empty belly makes children and adults think quickly.Before the advent of electricity an hour or two before bedtime under candlelight was used to read the Bible teaching your children morals and values.This time was used to teach your kids the 3 r's.Reading,Riting and Rithmetic.The more you learned as a child,the more you could teach your children.Education was the only way deemed to get yourself off of a farm if you chose to.You learned agriculture,carpentry,roofing and the bartering system.If you had a sack of corn and needed some wood shake replaced on your roof and the other person knew how to roof, you made agreements.What changed?Many things.Abolishing of slavery,the industrial age,the creation of the automobile.Since 1918 our government has grown itself 3,865%.Mainly due to the income tax which was created to pay off war debt but never made it there.In the great depression of 1929 only 25% of working americans were farmers.To get control of food prices our government began subsidizing farmers to not grow.And they never stopped until this day either.Now only 1% of working americans are farmers and are rich and still being subsidized.They created the public school system.They began segregation and desegragation of them.They took prayer out of school and that is where the downward spiral began.The government became the daddy instead of big brother.I don't think I have to delve any deeper because many of you posted what has happened since.The rise of corporate america has since taken control over most of our larger businesses.And sent our jobs overseas.Ignorant americans blame it on working americans unions instead.Our unions brought us out of the great depression creating the middleclass and making our country rich.Corporate america has destroyed all but 12% of working americans union jobs that are left.Many blame the teachers unions for this.The problem is almost all of you were not born when this all started.While both parties in congress are guilty of allowing it to happen.Now parents can't spank their kids or it will be child abuse?

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Mandatory school conferences are not the type of thing that you or the state can legislate. Neither is slapping a parent with a fine if they don't attend. Single mother making minimum wage working two jobs to make ends meet mean she can't take time off to go to a conference session without missing work or having to work around it. Teachers can't got to their homes or work places to discuss the child's progress either. There are parents out there that should never have had children in the first place. They are the ones that had babies when they were still under 16 years old. and they are going to stop having babies either. They figure that have a child is a way to grab a husband or boyfriend for life.

Isn't Detroit the murder capital of the United States when it comes to juvenile crime and death? These are the children who are in line to be either drug dealer, pimps, and murders or priests and cops. Very few that have both parents at home are going to be anything other than college bound students. These are the students who if they attend school face the bullies and thieves that sometimes runs the school form the inside and out. These are the schools that have secuirty inside but nothing outside. These are the schools that have poor funding and falling down conditions as the people who pay the school taxes are alredy maxed out of money for schools and barely are able to pay for pens and paper. These are the schools the the national agencies are saying are below standards in acheivement.

The teachers in these schools not only have to try to keep the kids interested in coming to class but have to teach them with out of date books and out of date standards and still have to have them pass a national test every year they they have to teach to in the first place. Tests that should not be used to punish the child or the school district. Tests that make money for the prople who write the tests and cost the teacher and students time away from learning.

I remember when I went to school the only tests the teacher gave were one that ended the six week grading period, the mid-term test and the final yearly tests to graduate to the next level. The only tests that we had to take at the end of our final level was the S.A.T. or A.C.T. test if we wanted to go to college.

Not every student wants to go to college right out of high school. Not every parent wants their child to endure taking these test and seeing them fail and not be classified as "retards" The students who goes to College is the one that has money to go there or a very high grade average that lands them a scholarship. That does not guarantee the child will make it through college is their parent(s) ends up dying and they have to return to the home and earn a living supporting their brothers and sisters. How does a system now turn around and tell that child who is now in charge of his brothers and sisters that he will be fined for not attending a school conference?

The idea of punishing the parent for not attending a conference, jailing them or forcing them to court is ridiculous. A child who reaches the age of 12 and is dropping out to do drugs is not necessarily lost but is going to be a big problem to maintain school attendence. Not only will the ACLU figth this idea, but when it comes down to it the U.S. Supreme Court will rule against it.
The old saying You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink" applies here.

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First I'd like to say I am a mother of 2 son's aged 12 and 13, neither of which has a criminal record of any kind. That being said, here's my world in short form...

My 12 year old is a A-B student, has a very serious personality, follows rules, was in the honor club last year (a privilege only top GPA students get), is a perfectionist almost to a fault. He tries hard, cares about how he perceived by others, and does the best he can at everything-except handwriting LOL.

My 13 year old is a D-F student, is 100% kid with out an ounce of serious in his body, does not do well at following rules at home or at school. He has a lazy personality and could not care less what others think of him (other then how he looks).

These boys came from the same gene pool, raised in the same 2 parent home with the same financial background and yet could not be further apart in personality. They have always been like this.

I have tried the reward/punishment option where good behavior and grades means nice rewards and bad behavior or grades means punishment. I have tried counseling. I have tried the long mommy talks. I even resorted to paying cash for good grades. Nothing worked. And for the record, my husband and I have been to every conference for both of our kids and no, it didn't do anything to change my son's behavior.

My point is, bad grades do not always mean bad kids. Conferences will not solve the problems. So far all I can tell you is what didn't work for us, if I ever work out a solution to my son's personality I'll let ya know LOL

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People wanted discipline out of school, they wanted God out of school and now look what we have today and the bad news it is getting worse. I don't care how well you parent your children if society's moral values have gone astray so are our children. Parents aren't allowd to discipline their children and yet the government wants to hold them responsible, let the one who decised it was a crime to discipline your children go to jail... Amen

God Bless this younger generation!!

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I had to comment on the issue raised in the article about parent's not knowing where their 12 year old kid was.

I grew up in the suburbs, nice town, nice people, upper middle class family. Was taken to church every Sunday, attended Sunday school, and raised with catholic beliefs.

At 12 years old I began to develop, found friends, ones with really cool older siblings sometimes that would teach us all about anything we wanted to know, and some things we never thought of. I found boys, sex, music, rebellion and drugs.

My parents tried everything they could to control me. I was grounded, not that it stopped me once they went to bed. I was whipped and sometimes pretty dang badly too but I figured 10 minutes of beating was worth a night on the town so the whippin's never stopped me either. I had my clothes taken from me but that was ok, I had a friend right down the road that wore the same size and style. Mom tried to stand in the doorway once to keep me in, this resulted in a fist fight and me making it out the door. One time Dad, in utter frustration, called me Hitler's daughter. I was put in a group home for awhile, big deal, didn't change me a bit. If anything it made me more determined to "break" my parents.

I really need to point out that most of what was done to try to control me would be, by today's ludicrous standards, child abuse. The day's of Tabasco sauce on the tongue for cursing out your gramma is over. There's no more face slapping of of the precious child that is calling you horrible names while puffing their chest up at you as if ready to hit you. Can't go locking them in their room either, you can order them to go there but the reality is there's nothing you can legally do to force them to go.

The laws, in my state, want the parents to be responsible for the actions of their kids yet don't want them to have any ability to actually control the kid. Once the kid figures out his or her "rights" then you can kiss your butt good bye as a parent with any formal power to control that child! My parents had more legal rights to control me then I have to control my kids. Yet even those abilities failed to control me.

The next time you see that teenager out so late at night, don't automatically think "oh the parents of that child are horrible for letting him out so late". Take the time to consider the parents may not want that kid out there any more then you do, they are just legally powerless to do anything about it.

This does not even account for the single mom's that have 1 teen running wild, 1 10 yr old that wants to be just like the older one, and one in diapers. No car and of course no bus at 2am to chase down the kid that found friends with cars.

For all the lawmakers in this country, may be "blessed" with a child just like me! Perhaps then we could get back to some reality in what's required to control a rebellious teenager.

For my mom & dad, thank you for still loving me even though I was such a horrible child!

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It seems the real issue here is not that parents can put the house on lockdown but a kid can still get out, or that their only choice when it happens is to get some sleep or call the police on their own child... but a problem of parent-teacher conferences. NOT! I can't think of a damn thing the teacher could say or advise these parents to do that would make the kid stay home and behave under the cover of darkness.

If the parents are lousy or can't raise their children no better than to commit murder while they are yet adolescents, the children should be put in a home for delinquent boys (for boys ONLY), or for girls (and girls ONLY). This way the state only has limited control in the family dynamics and should get kids off the street, providing an opportunity to break vicious cycles of violence in the kids and providing the pathway for the kid to eventually return home. But this scenario is only for kids at risk of grave consequences. I do not advocate parents putting their kids in these schools because they don't get good enough grades or they miss curfew once in a while.

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To Sandra Cannon - did you not read Cassie's letter? She has done everything for her daughter! How dare you treat her like she is a non-existant, non-caring mother! I wonder how your kids turned out. Cassie, I am with you. Look at the role models our girls get these days? Miley Cyrus? Lindsey Lohan? Come on. Sorry, but these so called stars are nothing but drunks and sluts!

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I am so tired of hearing parents complain that they can not controll their kids. That is the problem right there, they dont control or disipline kids anymore. Sorry time outs are a darn joke. Your kid from the begining should know that they listen to you or pay. I am only 33 and when I was young If my mom or gram said something , we listened because if not we got hit in the butt with a wooden spoon. That is not child abuse, child abuse is continuing to hit and hit and hit your child for NO reason. This is where the world went wrong. You never had any of this when we were in school. No one killed each other. We knew better and that is how it should be. Perfect example is my son and I were at the zoo and a lady had her kids ther. Her kids were about 13, 16 and 9 . The lady said something to the kids and the 13 year old said your a bitch and she back handed him right there. A lady came running over with her phone dialing 911 and held the lady there until the cops came. If that was my kid i would of busted him one too. He is old enough to know better. What are you going to do say well now your going to go sit on the bench for a time out. Please this dont work for little kids let alone big kids. The cops came and the woman told the cops what happened. I even said that the woman was telling the truth and that sorry the kid needed it. You know what the cop agreed and told the lady to go on her way. The cop asked the kid if he would do it again and he said no, i dont want my teeth knocked out. Problem solved. not no time out to think about what you did. People kill me when they whine where did I go wrong, I was such a good parent, I gave them everything. Parenting isnt a quest to become your childs best friend and let them do what they want because it is cool. Your job is to be the bad one who dont let them do stuff and shoiw them , if this is what you do, this is what happens. Parents shield their kids from the bad stuff. No you need to show them pictures of people killed by drunk drivers. Show them what people do when they drink and drive. Show them what people do whe they do drugs. If kids saw the death and gore that the stuff caused, it wouldnt be glorified. My son is only 8 and unfortunatly we lost a person who was like a sister to me from a drunk driver. When my son was even 5 he asked why did melissa have to die and i told him that the person who killed her was drunk on alcohol and drugs. See this is what happens when you drink alcohol and do drugs. Then going through pictures when he was 7 we came across photod from when my husband was young and he drank. My husband got 3 dui's and had a horrible wreck that almost killed him and another lady. When he saw the picture he said wow whos car is this. I said your dads when he was drinking and driving. Told him his dad got really hurt and that the other lady got hurt bad and see this is the real things that happen when you drink and drive and do drugs. My son at 8 knows better then some kids in thier teens because he saw what happens. He knows that death is usually involved. I know my son will not do that. I am a parent and made sure. So what if stuff is horrible with blood. show them, make them sick so they know this is what happens not that it is just all so cool. Depending on their age too, i am not saying show a 5 year old bloody pictures but if they are i say 9 and older show them, they see far worst stuff on their darn video games they play. Show them it isnt just a game and that if it happens you have to pay for it.

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also i agree with Anna gregory on the role models, this is why you dont just need to make sure your kid is loved and you are a good friend, Being a parent isnt just loving them. Show them that this stuff is not good. Show them what happens dont seclude them from everything. They need to know that the world isnt all candy and nice people.

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