Parents Hate Parenting Because They're Doing it Wrong

BRAVO! Thank you for finally saying it, "our parents were not our playmates" and I believe that parents who over-extend their childrens activites place A LOT of un-needed pressure on the shoulders of their children. I have been talking about this since I had kids, and I am so glad that I found an article that says it all... simply.
Thank you again.

I agree 100%. I am a single, professional, well educated mom who has no family around and the dad is rarely in the picture....know what? I wouldn't change these 8 years with my beautiful boy for all the money in the world. The joy and blessings this maternal love gives you is nothing like anything in this world. I feel so sad for people who think that this connection is unbearable work or outdated. It is hard work, but that is what makes the rewards so rich and fruitful......

I love this post (Http://bit.ly/bZZlrr) because it goes beyond just raising the greatest athlete or musician or scientist, who at the end of the day may be miserable. It's about keeping kids in touch with themselves, the good/bad/ugly, and accepting that. Yes, all very crunchy and kind of abstract, but still worth trying.

I'm not sure what generation you're in, but that is NOT what Rachel is saying. My dad coached my softball team for a few years, and we sometimes went fishing together. When we were small we got "face time" with our parents, and I had a mostly happy (anyone who says childhood is completely happy is crazy or a liar) childhood. My parents did NOT get down in the floor and play Barbie with me. I read, I was sent outdoors to play (and not with a lot of motorized toys -- I had a push-yourself-scooter, and a bike and roller skates and neighborhood kids) and expected to create my own fun (within the family rules). And somehow, we managed to do it -- without destroying property (except for the mud stains on the side of our house where the mud-pies got used for target practice -- but the wall was still complete, just not exactly the same color in spots). We sometimes played board games, and when we went places in the car, my dad would sing funny songs (to us -- mostly OLD country/folk classics). We didn't have ten types of events, although I did do a SEQUENCE of Camp Fire Girls, Girl Scouts and a couple of young peoples' groups at church. We went to day-camp in the summer, and Bible School at church -- the phrase "quality time" has done as much as anything to shorten the attention span and increase the tension in this country as parents forget to be *parents* and try to become their kids' friends.

As the oldest of five, I probably came at the parenting thing from the other side in a more relaxed place, because I had helped with my younger brother and sisters. Anyone who says they enjoy every minute of it is also crazy or a liar, because there IS no fun in disciplining a child who's so angry or determined that he becomes disrespectful and hateful. If you expect nothing but joy in ANY aspect of your life, you're going to be disappointed. Sometimes, moments in our life "SUCK" -- but that doesn't mean the overall experience is not an enjoyable and fulfilling one.

Finally, our parents did not feel obligated to spend their every free waking moment entertaining us. They went to work, they watched television (NOT necessarily the shows we chose -- and there was only one black & white TV in the house), they occasionally went out either for fun or to shop and left us behind (when we were young, usually with grandparents -- babysitters were not in the budget). It's only our over-regulated, safe-at-any-cost, run-your-neighbor's-life society that has tried to teach us we must spend every waking moment "caring for" our kids. No wonder they reach their teens and have no clue how to non-destructively entertain themselves.

I love my kids, and I mostly loved raising them -- I taught them that one reason to have children is so you can play on the swings without looking like a fool. My three boys turned out to be upright, caring men who are making a difference in the world. My sisters and brother and I all turned out to be responsible, caring parents as well. I say she's right on.

I love to paint... but i need a break after an hour of it. Needing sometime away from something you do everyday all day does not mean you do not enjoy it. There always needs to be balance between being a mom and being yourself. Mom is not who you are, but just like anything else it's what you do!

Wow, taking things way out of context much?

Children need attention, but not all the time. Fawn over them nonstop and they're at risk for become dysfunctional, self-absorbed members of society.

And it's also important for parents to have "me" time - alone or with each other. It relieves stress, offers time to wind down, and strengthens the marital bond - the keystone of the family unit in the first place. Either get with it or stop soiling the gene pool with your terrible parenting skills.

I'm by no means a "helicopter" parent, but Rachel isn't mention ANY of the joys of parenting - the fun it is to play with your kids, story times, creating a schedule for them but one the manage themselves. These are really fun, especially if you have the luxury of being able to stay home. Her article highlights all the non-parenting times as the best part, hence proving the other article right.

Not to mention, the kids of helicopter parents, when they become teenagers, are the ones who rebel and fight them the hardest because they have no room to breathe. My mom's friends always ask her how we had such a good relationship through my high school years and she can't answer it, but I can: She let me go. She gave me privacy when I needed it, room to be myself, supported me in everything I did and was completely honest with me. She kept lines of communication open, but never pushed or stood over me. She expected me to act like an adult and I expected to be treated like one and when we both lived up to that, we respected one another more.

Helicoptering-Palease!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do agree though

I am a parent of 6 children, I made a choice not to drive my children from one game to another. I encourage my children to read, draw, run in the park with their siblings or simply talk to their siblings or to me. I am relaxed, I can finish a book in 3 days and I do have dinner with my children as well. I have the luxury of only working part-time and this also helps with visiting schools and when my children are ill. We take walks, sit on the patio and do yard work together and they have even given me input on what to do with our yard. We also sit by the lake on lazy mornings after taking my husband to work...yes, we only own 1 vehicle and it actually does work out well. I made a commitment to be the best parent I can be and it seems to be working well. Do we have problems, sure..we wouldn't be normal if I said no, but all in all I love the parenting life.

I really enjoyed this article and I really hope some people learn from it. I have a 3 year old and remember those terrible twos? Well the weren't so terrible. I love parenting. There is nothing more gratifying than being able to guide a young child especially if it's your own. However guide is the keyword you can't do everything for your kid they'll never learn for themselves. I can even use my daughter as an example. The other day we were at the mall and they have little kids play places yano. Now there's this hollowed out log ( it's fake and made of squishy plastic material), but it was clearly too tall for her to climb on top of it. For weeks she's asked me to help her on top of it and i said no. She was a little disgruntled but she found other things to play on. Then we went again yesterday and she worked really hard but she finally made it up there and she was so happy so proud of herself she must have climbed up there 20 more times and each time she looked back at me and said mommy look! I did it! I was so proud of her and she was happy that she could do it alone. If anyone needs a definition of parenting it's guiding your kids to be able to do things on their own and supporting them when they need it most. You're not going to hand feed them forever you're not always going to wipe their bum. They'll learn how to use a fork and spoon just as you have and they'll learn how to use a potty. Listen to your kids they'll tell you when they're ready.

Then maybe use them as an example to not surround yourself with children you don't have time for. Just because they had 6 kids, doesn't mean you have too. Just because you wanted more out of them , doesn't mean you should have gotten it, or that they hated raising you. Lighten up, parents do the best they can with what they have. They don't always make the right choices, just as you don't. IF you are a parent I doubt you want to see your child grew up to write something like this about you.

I have guilt issues??!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......Oh Yolie, this comment should not be coming from the one that blames her parents and her own childhood for the misery she has determined in her own life of raising her children. People only influence your life as much as YOU ALLOW them too. I love my family, friends, job, husband, and children. I have no guilt and no regrets. We struggle to make ends meet but that is the life I choose. Don't blame others because you are bitter and angry at the decisions you made for own life! You are the one that makes the choices daily, and continues to do so even though you hate it. I don't see how this is anyone elses problem. =)