Parents Hate Parenting Because They're Doing it Wrong

This woman needs to F- off! And have a disabled child who has 4 hour tantruns then TELL me I'm doing it wrong ! Stupid bitch!!!

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I agree with this article, especially about being judge for enjoying the fact that you're a mom. My own mother even degrades me for saying that I enjoy being a stay at home mom. If something worth complaining about does happen (which is rare), I am told that that's my job, and that's all I do, so I should NEVER complain or vent. Well I see plenty of people who work and complain about bosses and co workers in every conversation, and those women don't have to spend every waking moment with their work companions. Honestly working or not working, all happy moms get a bad rep only because the people who are not happy being mothers or aren't mothers at all, are jealous and catty. Which makes sense, sadly. We're women, and being catty is the one thing we're all good at being.

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I do agree that children are overscheduled and parents overly competitiive. What I don't agree with is the concept that older children are responsible for caring for younger children so parents have "free time". When you choose to have more kids than you can physically manage, that's your problem, not theirs. They didn't choose to bring all these kids into the world, the parents did. And they shouldn't have to sacrifice their childhoods to raise younger siblings so parents can make more. If you are feeling overwhelmed, there's a simple solution, stop having kids. And stop scheduling the kids for lessons and activities every day of the week. Instead of the kids today growing up better because of all the activities they are whiny and self-indulgent and selfish, and their parents aren't much better. This generation of parents seems to feel their lives should not change because they have children and that it is up to the rest of us to indulge them and tolerate them no matter where they take them. It pains me to use those words because I sound like my parents talking about my generation. But it is what it is. My generation was often referred to as the "me generation". But I think too many of the now adult children our generation raised have taken "meism" to a whole new low. I think the whole current thinking that you have to have a child with every person you spend time with, having as many children as you can regardless if you can or even want to support and care for them is crap. I think parents need to be taken back to being held to a years gone by level of accountability for the children they choose to have. Requiring them to do so by society, families and even the government might produce fewer children, but it will also produce better parents.

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I don't know what planet half of you who are posting live on. I will say this-Being a parent is complex. Being a parent is sometimes rewarding sometimes not. I will not go so far as to say its a JOY. A joy is going out shopping for the day and coming home to find that hubby and the kids got all the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, bathrooms and other chores done for you. And then decided to cook for you or take you out to eat. It takes work to train them to know how to do that! Being a parent is work and there are some who enjoy their work and some who do not (just like any other job). You do it because that's what you need to do because YOUR parents raised you correctly. THAT is the honest truth!

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I didn't read the other article, but what Rachel is saying is only the tip of the iceberg for today's parents. When I was young, my mom was a stay at home mom because she could be. Our whole society was different then. I truly believe that any parent who hates being a parent is actually tired of all of the restrictions that have been placed on today's parents.

When discipline was needed, my folks dished it out. The punishment fit the crime so to speak. That doesn't happen today with every group you can think of screaming "child abuse" at anyone who tries to discipline their child. Parents get blamed because a child makes a bad choice. That didn't happen when I was growing up. My parents held us kids accountable for the choices we made, even as young as 2 or 3. If I chose not to clean my room/pick up my toys, then I chose to have them taken away because my parents weren't maids. Today's kids have unrealistic expectations of what is "owed" to them. The only way that we can gain control back of our children, is to take it back.

I am a mother of two biological and five step kids. I don't do for them what they can do for themselves. We as parents have to teach our children, not expect that they already know what to do and how to do it. We have to put limits on the "gadgets" in their lives and our own as well. I have always had to work outside of the home in order to make ends meet. My kids know that there are limitations and boundaries. Sure they push them, what kid doesn't? But when you continually let them cross those, what do you expect the result to be?

Lastly, every parent, whether a couple or single (male or female) deserves to have private "adult" time, whether its a night out, reading a good book, or just a nice refreshing nap, we do not "owe" our children every single one of our waking moments. What we as parents "owe" our children is love, guidelines, freedom, accountability, just to name a few that really are priceless in today's society.

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While I'm 1000000% against helicopter parenting I could not DISAGREE more with Rachel's statement:
". Our parents weren't our playmates, social directors, coaches or chauffeurs. They also did not bring unrealistic notions of "fun" to parenting. Heck, the term "parenting" wasn't even part of the nomenclature back then."

Um, heck yeah, my SAHM mom played with me because when you are the SAHM that's you JOB. I think a lot of SAHMs forget that - if you're not providing structure and activity for your pre-schooler then they should be in an actual pre-school. And that's some the best things I remember about growing up - having a mom who actually joined in the activities with us.

Dad was certainly my chauffer - who else was driving me when I didn't have a license. And he did coach our t-ball and softball teams. I find this backlash against kids being in organized sports/activities frightful since we are a fat nation and are in dire need of physical activity. Once again, I'm not saying over-schedule your kids, but kids NEED to be involved in a sport/physical activity and what a better way to make it family oriented if mom or dad is helping coach - especially when its something they love?

And mom and dad were certainly our social director - approving/rejecting friends we could hang out with, sleepovers, parties, etc. I think that's part of the parenting job.

My parents were active in my youth and that's why we're still close now. By no means did they helicopter parent, neither do I, but a lot of parenting is fun (Just because it might not be for Rachel doesn't make it an unrealistic notion). A lot of it stinks too, but I don't get this complete stand-offish vibe I'm feeling from this article's perspective.

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Lotsa opinions and info here.but it seems that the main point (that OUR parents seemed to know) is to spend time with your kids...but DON'T SUFFOCATE THEM...Let them learn how to do things on their own, how to built things (as well as relationships), but be there for them when they ask you to be there. You don't need to sign them up for every sport, or activity...let them go to the park (walking) & figure out how to get a team out on the field to play ball without adult supervision. They will survive and be better people for it. Need I say that the worst things that happened to our kids are video games, texting and the anonymity of computers. Wonder why they're getting so fat? Or, why they don't even know how to socialize? And for heavens sake, make them EARN their allowance if they want to buy things for themselves and YES, even to pay for their cell phones so that they learn that life is NOT a free ride. They'll love you for it later. You are their parent...NOT their friend!

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I love this!! Yes... I have felt this way for a long time. My simple philosophy is Less is More. I think our culture makes parenting way more complicated than it has to be. Being bored as a child is a blessing not a curse. Hanging out all day in the backyard with a neighborhood friend is what childhood is all about! What I see are parents racing around to get their children all the lessons etc... with calenders full of activities but with no time to play. What happens it by the time these kids hit high school they are burned out. High School is when you want your kids busy and involved in an activity. A bored teenage is definatley not good. Let them be bored when they are little and then load them up as they get much older.

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@d1naw - Absolutely dead on!!

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I think the hardest parent lesson for all of us mothers and fathers is that you truely have to become the person you want your child to be. You cannot talk the talk without walking the walk. How good a parent you are is somewhat determined by who you are as a person. Do you have good values, morals, integrity and lead a balance healthy life and treat others with respect? This is the biggest gift you can give your child as well as being present with them. Truely present not preoccuped with the 1000 other things that need to get done or places you have to go. Giving your children your full attention and love will take them farther in this world than any amount of lessons or expensive toys you can buy.

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I'm a young mother, my husband is military, and we have no problem trying to force family time. My son is turning two at the end of the month and all we ever do is sit at home. We have our financial problems which I don't believe was mentioned enough in the guilt part of parenting. I have no job, and cannot afford childcare long enough to find one. But we manage. We don't have hockey yet, we don't eat fast food, but we're happier than a lot of young parents I've seen. We also teach him manners(i know I know, at such a young age?)Thats the problem I thought this article should cover. Many new age parents aren't teaching their children any manners. I never hear " please, thank you, excuse me, pardon" any more. I'm only 21, but those were crucial words when I was a child. I can't stand seeing an 8 year old dowsed in makeup, nails done, wearing a short skirt and high heels yelling at her mom "BUY ME THIS" and she gives in!!! Thats the part of parenting I don't understand. Why would you let your child grow up expecting to be catered to, then set them free in the real world just to be dissapointed and have to fend for themselves? Its not fair to them, and its not fair to everyone else that has to deal with them in the future. A child is not a young adult to be dressed in what she thinks is 'cute' or 'in style'. They're children that need to be taught how to deal with the world, and a little respect to strangers would make this world a better plac! PLEASE teach your children not to run in the street without looking(which has become VERY common in many residential areas), teach them that they will have to work to obtain the things they want, or that they wont always get what they want. Don't buy them all the best toys, let them(as mentioned)use their immagination, get out of the house, excersize via play mode, and just be a kid. I know that sounds contradictory to the not catering, but its not hard to find a good balance. I couldn't understand someone saying being a parent is terrible, because to me its the best thing thats ever happened. I'm prepairing my child for the world yet he still gets to be a child. I've let my mothering instincs act as they should, and its made my life much easier than many others.

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train this biatch! Help hubby fix the car that you and the kids have damaged,shovel the snow,cut grass,stop spending the $ shopping for materialistic items weekly/daily so he does'nt have to be so much in DEBT and has to work his ass off and be to wore out to do the laundry! OH GET OFF THE F...ing cell phone while you're working so hard raising the kids!

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I have a 19yr old, 17 yr old and 13 yr old. When they where all little. We did the all the running to soccer games and softball. I even was a coach of some of there teams. As they get older. I look back. What are we going to do when we can't do that any more. They are going to be to old. What I'm trying to say is. Enjoy your kids while they are little. Because they do grow up. When they become teenages most of the time they don't want you around. Unless they are like my family. We spend alot of family time together on the lake, movies, out to eat and etc. Now we have granddaughter in the house. It even makes it even more fun. To watch her grow up now.

So just think about as you grow old. So does your kids. One day they will not be there. It will just be your husband and you with out the kids. Then what. My husband ask me that question the other day. What was we going to do. I said maybe ride across country on his Harley. That would be nice. We never know what life is going to bring us in the next 5yrs.
Hope this helps someone out. Just go and have fun with your kids. Don't stay stuck in the house all the time. That is boring!!!!

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