'Don't Talk to Strangers' is Dangerous Advice

@Wanda"Obama type"?????? really???

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People that lure kids with a puppy, candy, etc., are strangers so in that case, they should be taught not to talk to strangers. Not all strangers are going to whisk them away for such reasons but children are not able to distinguish who is bad and who is not. I talk to kids but usually their mother is right there. Strangers are also saviors of children who may be being lured away for indecent reasons so this is hard to determne. Most strangers are just being nice. i guess it should be taught to them that strangers who offer something like candy are to be ran from and other strangers may just be okay to talk to. However, they should be taught how to be cautious in these cases.

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The problem with the writers comments about telling kids not to talk to strangers is bad advice is this. The writer says and I agree that most people are assaulted by people they know love and trust. Stranger only abuse 15% of the time simply because most kids are following the stranger danger rules. They are working. If we now tell this next generation to talk to anyone they want to that number will rise. Stranger try to use any number of tricks to coerce kids to drop their defenses and if we take that first line of defense away by telling them it's okay to talk to strangers them those strangers who intend these kids harm have an easier task. Kids need to be made aware of the dangers by not scared into thinking all people are out to get them. They also need to know that they have rights and no one should take those rights away whether they are strangers or someone they are familiar with like parents, step parents, grand parents, sibling ect.The writers comments are somewhat misguided although well intended.
Allen

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I teach my kids that if they get lost or scared they need to run to the mom with the most kids. I figure she will help and she is not intrested in anymore kids, lol.

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When our little guy was still riding in a grocery cart, he just had to speak to every passerby, saying hello and asking them how they were. We were warned about the stranger danger from friends, but paid no heed. Now he is a young teen and we love to watch him walk confidently up to adults with hand outstretched, ready to shake hands and introduce himself.

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What "heckwhynot" ^ said.....

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I drive a school bus and was subbing for a co-worker one day for an elementary school. The kids lined up to get on and one little girl refused to board the bus, she told her teacher, "He's a stranger, I can't go with him" so even telling your child not to go with a stranger has to have some "exceptions" too... How about a substitute teacher? There are some strangers that the child has to "go with" and the parent has to tell these children this ahead of time.

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This is probably the biggest reason that grown adults and teenagers don't know how to talk to cashiers at a store also, after all aren't cashiers strangers? OH MY, they might follow you home. Get real. I work as a cashier and on a daily basis I'll come across atleast 2 people that absolutely will not answer direct questions. Exactly how are questions such as: do you want this bagged, do you want your receipt in the bag, did you find everything ok, have a nice day a threat to anyone. Personally I enjoy it when an adult allows a young child to talk to the cashier, and I think it's smarter and safer than the lost child that doesn't know what to do because everyone in the store is a stranger.

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Let's face sometimes profiling is good.
Teach your kids to profile.
If your child needs assistance would you rather them ask the fellow wearing dreadlocks, smelling of patchouli and long board shorts sagging half-way down his ass topped by an Obama 08'
t-shirt. OR the well dressed older lady standing there with children of her own?

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It annoys me when I see those parents that won't let their 7 yr old go outside and play without being watched 24/7... What is THAT teaching them? That mom will ALWAYS be there to keep them safe? So how's the child ever going to learn to be self sufficient? ugh

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I have to say, I grew up exposed to a LOT of people daily. My dad had his veternary clinic right next to the house, so there were always clients with their pets in the driveway and in the clinic where I went to visit Dad throughout the day.

No one ever kidnapped me, no one even tried, but even if they had, I had taken my parents lessons to heart. I talked with every single one of them even as a very small child. I was unafraid to speak up and make a friend, but at the same time I knew darned well not to get in anyone's vehicle and that if anyone tried to get me to, to scream and get someone's attention. Though true, in such an environment, everyone knew me, it may have been a bit of a danger, but at the same time, it was a good thing. Because people would see me and say "You're Dr. Smith's daughter, right?"

Knowing everyone around you, being open and outgoing to others, not just as a business person, but as a friendly neighbor can be a strong benefit to your children as well as teaching them the confidence to talk to people and know what actions and words from a stranger to trust or avoid.

And for the record? I'm an asperger's adult. Also known as high functioning autism. So if you think your kid might be slow because of a so called disability? Just because they don't always respond to you doesn't mean they aren't taking information in.

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On a similar note, there was twice I had needed the aid of a total stranger when I was around 8. I was a real tomboy, climbing trees all the time. Well, the first time I climbed to the top of the biggest mimosa tree, I didn't know how to get down. I was shouting my head off across the yard and not but five minutes later, someone coming out of the clinic heard me and went to get help. Dad didn't even come out of the clinic, he was a bit busy, but sent someone he trusted to help me get down. A woman I had never really talked to before climbed up and helped guide me down from the top of that tree(I could see over my house from up there!).

Another time, someone had tied their golden retriever up wrong in their truck(just on one side rather than a rope from both sides to hold them in the middle) and this 80+ pound dog had tried to jump out and had hung itself over the side of the truck. I struggled to hold it up, too small and not strong enough to get it over the edge, but I did all I could to keep it from strangling itself as it struggled and kicked at me in it's attempts to save itself, clawing at me and too heavy for me to scream out for help properly. It was some time before someone found me, not even the dog's actual owner and came running to help. Anyone could have taken full advantage of the situation if they had no heart. But they didn't. They came and helped get that dog back into the truck bed and held it there while I caught my breath and went into the clinic to find the owner.

The article puts it very well. Not all strangers mean danger, some will help, and it's up to you to teach your kids to be able to judge a situation and know the difference.

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Congratulations! I think you may have won the daily "How To Twist a Totally Non Political Story Into An Attack On Obama" award! Plus as an added bonus you've got a LOCK on the "Proving I'm A Moron Via My Comment" award! Not ONLY is your attack on the president bizarre ("Obama type men"? What the hell does THAT mean?), but you are also completely incorrect about the vast herds of men in Baltimore trying to grab children! You really ARE stupid!

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Kenny Nash here............. as a recording artist and song writer I think we made it loud and clear over 32 years ago when Rick Springfield put the song out "DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS". Case closed.

Kenny Nash

Youtube "DESIRE"

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If you check your local Sex Offender Registry, you will be mortified to see HOW MANY of these creatures there are. Living on your block. Living in your apartment complex, Living up the street, down the street--from you. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THEM--
A small child can be scooped up and taken in the blink of an eye.
Even IF they haven't said a word to a stranger. The child doesn't have to GO with them. They TAKE them.

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Great advice. I add something else: If a child is being taken, he should be taught to scream, "I don't know this person - he is taking me away". Many of those who take children pose as a stressed parent disiplining an out of control child. I read this in a book about a man who was caught in the act because the child screamed these words. As a teacher, I teach my class to remember those words, and that not all strangers are bad people.

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CESARE,
There is wholesome advice in this Lady`s article. I have taught you the stranger danger, not thinking; You have no concept of what Mr. Davis, would look like even if you passed him on the street, and I greeted you by name. Your mother may have told you I am a Black man, but that doesn`t give you much to go on. On second thought she probably would have said to you Mr. Davis, is an African American man. My point to you, Cesare, is listen to your parents, and their teachings, about the danger of some strangers. if you are ever in trouble, immeadiately seek the help of a stranger, especially if your gut tells you this person seems to be one I can trust to help me out of this situation.
Good Luck, Lad and enjoy your summer. No grade reported ?

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I teach safety awareness to kids and parents alike and this advice is not good advice. I agree that "Don't talk to strangers" is not sound advice by itself. You need to talk to about different situations, lures used by strangers, safety zones, possibly the use of a password system, ect. Lets ask the parents of a child that has been abducted by a complete stranger if they agree with the article...and there is no going back after that.

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Thank you. I am a 69 year old grandfather. It really makes me sad to think many children are taught I'm scarry. I'm outgoing and like to talk to everyone. Most parents are OK, but sometimes I'm afraid to be nice to children. That's wrong. We should like each other.
Denny

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Sadly this "stranger danger" has transfered to adults also. Or is it that people these days have no personalities. I love talking to people in the store. Half just look at you like they don't have a thought in their head.

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