'Don't Talk to Strangers' is Dangerous Advice

When I was about four, I took a walk and talked to a stranger who gave me a few gifts after our conversation. Our conversation was outside at his porch and the gifts he went in and brought them out to me. When I showed my mom, my mom asked me who gave them to me and I didn't know the gentleman's name, so her response was, "how many times have I told you not to talk to strangers?" and at the age of four, I responded with, "If I don't talk to strangers, how am I going to make any friends?"

Not every kid will counter their parent with that question, but they need to be taught to trust their instincts about people. Unfortunately, parents will push adults onto children, when the child does not like them but they are a friend of the adult. This messes with their natural instincts. If they are allowed to trust their 'feelings' about people, they will develop awesome people skills. Some times a child has to warm up to an adult and that is okay, adults just need to allow it to happen on the child's time.

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There are just those parents that are too protective. Case in point. My husband grabbed a little girl who ran into the street with oncoming traffic. He probably prevented her from getting hit by a car. What thanks did he get? The mother ran screaming towards him with a "how dare you touch my child" , threatened to call the police.and basically accused him of child abduction. She immediately assumed that my husband meant harm to her child and she would not even listen to an explanation as she hurried off. My husband was so horrified and indignant that he swore he would never again get involved with any incident involving a child. Can you blame him? True story and a bad lesson for that little girl.

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itI don't matter a lot..you can tell kids not to talk to strangers but most will anyhow...what we need to help stop the problem of child murders and rape is to kill the SOB's when it is proved beyond fact that they are guilty..but they let them out to live anywhere nearly they want..even with the search for sex offenders list most people never check it out and you better you just might be shocked whats around your area

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Wanda...
Obama type men..?? Are you accusing our president of being a pedophile??

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I don't agree. I think children SHOULD be taught to not talk to strangers. Now a days children are snatched out of their front yards, sometimes right in front of siblings. My daughter is 5 and is a super people person. I have been allowing her to go out back in our fenced in yard by herself but I stare out the window, watching her, just to be safe. I have watched neighbors walk up to the fence to talk to her as well as neighborhood boys and girls that take the cut through behind our house. Everytime she walks right up to the fence to talk to them. What if one day, I am not watching as well as I should be, pulling dinner out of the oven, or get a phone call and my little girl is snatched over the fence and taken away, then all the common sense in the world, and all the "Don't Walk with Strangers" is worth nothing. I say teach them not to talk to strangers in the beginning and as they get older, broaden the teachings. Whether you live in a great neighborhood or a crappy one, predators are everywhere and they are adapting, as should us parents!!!

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I agree with Sandy..I love talking to people it's a southern thing we talk to strangers but I don't know if it is because so many yanks are here now or what but people don't like to talk like they use to
Everywhere people think you are after something and it's sad..
But there are still people like me which is good you be suprise at what you can find out from people you don't know

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Wanda, I agree 100%% with you! Things are not the way they used to be - people are more sexually aggressive and so many children are victims and you people want them to chat it up with anyone who talks to them?? The best way to avoid a kidnapping is to teach your children that everyone, yes ANYONE can be a potential preditor (even your neighbor who you know) and to not engage in conversation with them(unless a parent is there also) Who knows what info they will manipulate out of the child who is innocently just "talking"? I know this is extreme, but we live in an extremely unsafe time and you can never be too careful. I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY CHILD BE A LITTLE PARANOID OF STRANGERS THEN TO BE FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH OR MOLESTED & EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED. What kind of life would that be? It happens all too often.

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I just wish someone had protected me from my parents..!!

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I was given the "stranger" talk as a kid, but I was given examples.
"Don't walk up to a stranger's car if they call you" or if someone says this or does that. My mom pointed out to me the fishy signs a child predator might have so that I could recognize these types of people. I did not grow up paranoid or a "dum dum" as this article states. ALSO...she also told me they will sometimes go the other direction and try to be nice to you. I was at a flea market and while my mom was talking to some friends, I pointed I wanted to look at this man's merchandise. I was in her sight, so she nodded yes.
The man (late 20's early 30's maybe) put his hands on my shoulder and started asking me personal questions. I recognized something wasn't right and ran back to my mother. Upon visiting the flea market again, a friend had told us the man got kicked out for he kidnapped somebody. Oh, but he was so nice.
Yep...you gotta teach your kids the signs.

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After reading these comments, most of them use common sense in teaching your child about "stranger danger". The bottom line is for adults to pay attention to their children while out in public instead of being distracted. As for zhengyi, your response is self gratifying. Using this blog to tell us about your wealth and where we can see your profile if interested. No wonder your single. Your profile should be on a police blotter.

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I have checked the Megan's law website and have found 2 sex offenders on our block and my children know who they are. They also know that there are others that haven't been caught. I teach them to look everyone in the eye and speak politely. I taught them that the most successful sex offenders look like everyone else, maybe just a little friendlier. I say to watch for anyone that wants to get you alone or away from your parent. I keep them within my sight. I was a free-range child. I am lucky to be alive. We didn't call it free-range then, we called it neglect or latch key. I thought I was pretty savvy but my brother and I got outsmarted a couple times. Predators study children, know what to say. Better to just have parental presence and vigilance.

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Wow....rude! "Obama-type" people...really?

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I was told never to talk to strangers. It was enforced and taught strongly at our school. My parents would say, "remember, don't talk to strangers". And I actually have a very sad story because of this.

I was playing in a park when I was probably 5 or 6. I was playing with some other kid and we were having a good time. I go back and tell my parents about it and grab a drink from our cooler. My parents told me I couldn't talk to him because he was a stranger. I told him this and he started crying.

So the point of this is that it not only stops people from developing their own common sense, but also it stops kids from learning how to socialize properly. When you go to a restaurant, the server is a stranger, but as an adult you don't ignore them....So why are adults teaching kids to do that?????

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What do you mean "Obama type men"?? please clarify.
What has the name of our president got anything to do with such
men ??

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its called SPAM, idiot.

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All of which reminds me that you have to tell your child "look both ways before you cross the street and IF NOTHING IS COMING it is safe to cross." Children are so literal minded that they will look both ways and step into traffic. I agree totally with this article.

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From my experience: the kids of today don't have any common sense because the parents do not have common sense. Example: Why would an adult or teenager need to be told NOT TO TEXT AND DRIVE ??? Common sense should dictate----IT's DANGEROUS and in most cases LIFE THREATENING and RISKY.

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WITH ALL THE CHILD RAPISTS OUT THERE AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HARM CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO TALK TO STRANGERS, IF NOBODY TALKED TO STRANGERS TED BUNDY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD SO MANY VICTIMS WAKE UP PEOPLE THE POLITICS OF THE 50'S ARE GONE WE LIVE IN A DANGEROUS WORLD I TEACH MY KIDS NOT TO TALK TO STRANGER BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY CHILD RAPED AND MURDERED AND IT HAPPENS ALLOT MORE THAN YOU SEE ON THE NEWS GO TO WALMART OR THE SUPERMARKET AND LOOK AT ALL THE MISSING CHILDRENS POSTERS THERE'S ALOT, BETTER YET GO CHECK OUT THE SITE THAT LISTS CHILD MOLESTERS IN YOUR AREA. AS FAR AS DON'T WALK WITH A STRANGER WELL THAT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU SEE PEOPLE CARYING SCREAMING KIDS OUT OF A STORE AND DON'T PAY IT A SECOND THOUGHT.......

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