'Don't Talk to Strangers' is Dangerous Advice

Hey Koz

I hope someday your child does need neeed a police officer, firefighter, doctor, stranger who might be a liberal to rescue them.. I am sure if your house is on fire you ask if they are a liberal if not you rather wait. If you child needs a operation or she die you ask if they a liberal. Or If someone like me see you child drowning or needs help and someone like me tries to recues them and you can't You would be grateful that a LIBERAL was ther to help your ungrateful person

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The first time you speak to someone you don't know he is a stranger. You keep speaking with that person once a week for a month and he has become an acquiantance. Once a week for two months and he is someone you may be comfortable with...maybe even trust. That's when he offers you a ride home on a rainy day and are never seen again. That's what predators do. They gain your trust then take you from your loved ones.

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I make my kids repeat constantly, "If I am lost, I talk to a mom with kids, go into a store and talk to the person behind the counter, or a person with a name tag on." If they were discouraged not to talk to strangers, then what would they do in a crisis?

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STRANGER DANGER !! As a man, I hate when children are anywhere near me. Don;t get me wrong, I do not hate children, but hate the paranoia and fear that today's parents teach. Every man is a pedophile and someone to fear. Guess what? I fear your children! I do not want them near me because I am in fear that one will accuse me of saying something, or God forbid something worse. So, parents do me the favor and the next time your child sits next to a person on a bench or wanders into my space, do not become offended when I insist that you keep an eye on your child and I MOVE.

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For the most part good advice I would also advise people to NOT teach their kids whenever they see an Officer in uniform that if they are bad "that man will get you" I have seen this over and over again and frankly it ticks me off, how about introducing your child to an Officer (if he/she is clearly not busy) and telling them if they are EVER in need of help and mom or dad is not around these people will ALWAYS help you because thats what we are there for. I make it a point to talk to kids every chance I get so they can see I am not going to "get them" for being "bad" but am in fact just a normal person who happens to be an Officer in uniform. Stay Safe out there.

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I don't agree. I am a single mom of 4.live I live in NYC. I taught my kids never to talk to strangers........but I also told them why and explained some of the things that can happen. It is all about the communication you have with your kids. You DO NOT SCARE THEM !!! You simply teach them to be aware of their surroundings and what to do if ever such thing was to happen. Heck I even taught them to yell FIRE !!!!! It brings more attention than HELP !!! Ask the experts.....it's been proven!!!

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It's not really do or don't. It is more about teaching them about when it's okay to talk to strangers.

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I don't think that younger kids have the life experience to tell the difference between someone who is good and who is bad. My 5 year nephew worries me when I take him out somewhere because he talks to anyone he comes in contact with. His mother has the same view as the writter. I am worried that one day he will talk to the wrong person and be taken. Kids look to adults for guidance and if we let them think that every adult they come in contact with is ok, we leave them open to harm by others.

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You assume the mother was teaching stranger danger; maybe not. "We do not talk to strangers" could mean "we" don't talk to strangers because we are superior to strangers; anyone not known to us is not worth knowing. At least that's how a lot of adults act these days to a stranger who dares to make an inocuous comment to them in public, with no kids involved.

I've witnessed a scenario similar to the bathing suit one, but where the adult snubs the "stranger" CHILD for daring to address her! The very idea that a fellow shopper in your local agora is a "danger" to even speak to shows a breakdown in society.

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uh im not a redneck but i live in the south and there is alot of people that are super southern that go to my school and not all people that are a redneck are uneducated and not all of them are republicans i don't judge people by where they came from or what they talk like i know alot of people my grandparents talk to and they re not mean they are just from the south and old fashioned but i live in the city part so i'm a city person basicly and why is it bad to be religious? why is it bad to go to church?

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In spite of my DIL being an excellent mother and raising my twin g.daughters well, the stranger/danger warnings have had them grow up (they're now 22) very fearful of people and things. I think that has done them much more harm than good.

I agree with going with the child's gut feeling. Advise them they don't have to justify their feelings in any way, if they feel at all threatened, tell someone or get out of there.

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I totally agree with Gayle in comment number 1. Children need to be taught that there are boundries as well. Parents are responsible for their children and what befalls them, it's not the school or church or anyone else's place to teach them. Unfortunately, there are those who were abused when they were children, and they inturn have a tendency to abuse their children, not knowing the wiser, and continuing the vicious cycle. Then that's where others do need to get involved. It would be wiser to teach children to use discretion, to love and trust, and not use fear in order to keep them under control. Children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Over protecting a child can be just as worse, than no protection at all.

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I'm only 16, and I don't plan on having kids anytime soon, but I disagree with 1 part of this. The part about kids not developing any common sense from being taught about stranger danger. EVERYONE develops common sense, no matter who they are. It's just a matter on how you use it.
A while ago, we had a problem with kidnappings, and the vehicle involved was a white van. I think the real problem with the whole stranger danger thing is kids trusting strangers who say, "Ur mom told me to give you a ride home." or something like that. Kids should be allowed to talk to strangers, but only in the right circumstances. For example; In a public store or place [if ur asking for help or ur guardians are nearby], asking for help if a stranger won't leave you alone, etc.

"Don't talk to strangers" is just a sentence that needs more definition. Kids should know which strangers they can talk to, and which ones they shouldn't make any contact with. It's common sense.

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The author of this article is right, but she also forgot to include amongst predators; grandparents, uncles, mom's boyfriend, priest, teacher, a friend's parent....I guess what i'm trying to say is parents need to widen their scope. It's usually the person who has unfettered access to your child, the one whom you wouldn't suspect in a million years. We have to teach our kids to be self aware, listen to that "uh oh" feeling about something or someone. Children many times when interviewed later about their molestation, spoke about getting a bad feeling when around their molester.

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I really don't think the author made her argument and quite frankly it's none of her business how others raise their children. If she has no problem with her child speaking to every Tom, Dick and Harry that is fine but not everyone feels the same and when it comes to a child’s safety, I’d rather be more cautious than not.

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I don't agree with this at all. I have a two year old, and I am absolutely going to tell her not to talk to strangers. When they are little kids, they can't distinguish between the lady buying the bathing suit or the creepy guy on a park bench. When my sister was 7 years old, she had a guy come up to her right in front of our house and asked if she had seen his dog that he had lost. He came up close enough to her to hear her answer back that she hadn't, so then he proceeded to ask her if he could put his hands down her pants. I don't think it's ok to talk to strangers at all when you are just a little kid like that. Like I said, they can't distinguish between creepy and ok. Maybe the example with the lady and bathing suit was a little overkill, but I don't think you should tell your kids that it's absolutely ok to talk to people you don't know.

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Good advice. I think too many people do teach their kids to avoid all stranger contact and as a result people are becoming less and less socially capable. More people these days do tend to not know their own neighbors and stay isolated.

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The problem with this new-age, everyone is wonderful approach to child rearing is that 3 year olds cannot distinguish between a harmless stranger and the pedophile. The only safe way to proceed is to teach them not to interact with strangers UNTIL they are old enough to realize who is OK and who is not.
the author's approach will result in tragedy for some family.

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I guess it's a good thing I sold my ex-telephone company white cargo mini-van. . . Although, when I had it, most people thought I was a cop, not a predator. Maybe now that you've trashed these vehicles as perv-mobiles, I can find another one cheap!

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