Should I Choose a Name My Husband Hates?

Filed under: Baby Names, Relationships, Expert Advice: Pregnancy, Expert Advice: Just For You, Expert Advice: Family Time

I have loved the name
Sloan since I heard it about three years ago and immediately knew that's what I would name my daughter. My husband has never liked the name. We have disagreed on it since. He has recently told me that if it is that important to me, he was fine with it. Is it really OK?

- Sloan Dreamer

Oh, what a happy problem! I know it doesn't look that way from where you sit, agonizing over a name that has held a special place in your heart for years. But trust me, this is the best kind of naming conflict you can have.

The baby-naming process is a snapshot of how a couple makes decisions. My inbox overflows with sad examples of how badly it can go. I hear from many parents who were bullied or tricked into the name of their partner's choice, or whose partners refuse to participate in the naming process at all except to reject every suggestion they offer.

Not you guys. Just think about it: Your husband is prepared to sacrifice his own desires to make you happy, and you're worried about taking advantage of him. That's good stuff, believe me.

If the name Sloan is truly important to you, you can go ahead and accept your husband's generosity. Make sure to show your appreciation, though, and to tell him how much this sacrifice means to you. Let him remember this name choice as a special gift to his wife, not just a surrender.

But if you can bear to let go of Sloan, so much the better. The only thing more precious than having a husband who loves you enough to let you choose a baby name he can't stand is loving him enough to not choose it.

How do you handle naming disagreements? Share your experiences here. And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!

Related: Welcome Tenley, Harper, Castiel and Bentley: The Hottest Baby Names of 2010

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.