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Should I Choose a Name My Husband Hates?
Filed under: Baby Names, Relationships, Expert Advice: Pregnancy, Expert Advice: Just For You, Expert Advice: Family Time
I have loved the name Sloan since I heard it about three years ago and immediately knew that's what I would name my daughter. My husband has never liked the name. We have disagreed on it since. He has recently told me that if it is that important to me, he was fine with it. Is it really OK?
- Sloan Dreamer
Oh, what a happy problem! I know it doesn't look that way from where you sit, agonizing over a name that has held a special place in your heart for years. But trust me, this is the best kind of naming conflict you can have.
The baby-naming process is a snapshot of how a couple makes decisions. My inbox overflows with sad examples of how badly it can go. I hear from many parents who were bullied or tricked into the name of their partner's choice, or whose partners refuse to participate in the naming process at all except to reject every suggestion they offer.
Not you guys. Just think about it: Your husband is prepared to sacrifice his own desires to make you happy, and you're worried about taking advantage of him. That's good stuff, believe me.
If the name Sloan is truly important to you, you can go ahead and accept your husband's generosity. Make sure to show your appreciation, though, and to tell him how much this sacrifice means to you. Let him remember this name choice as a special gift to his wife, not just a surrender.
But if you can bear to let go of Sloan, so much the better. The only thing more precious than having a husband who loves you enough to let you choose a baby name he can't stand is loving him enough to not choose it.
How do you handle naming disagreements? Share your experiences here. And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: Welcome Tenley, Harper, Castiel and Bentley: The Hottest Baby Names of 2010
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 5)
8-01-2010 @ 5:44AM
bapplb1 said..."SLOAN?" is this lady retarded?
Reply
8-01-2010 @ 6:08AM
Monica said...Sloan sounds like a boys name.
Reply
8-01-2010 @ 6:18AM
tracy raymon said...I really do not care for these unisex/last name first names. Where did this trend originate?
Reply
8-01-2010 @ 6:58AM
Mia said...I've been reading these posts and man, what a bunch of self-absorbed slobs! Of course the parent has to like the name they're giving their child, but my god, you folks act like YOU'RE the one who has to live with it for the rest of YOUR lives! Think about the kid! For example, maybe the husband hates the name Sloan because their last name is Jones. Sloan Jones. Think about it! Hideous! That kid will be tortured by her classmates! Think about the kid for once instead of what YOU, as parents, want for yourselves. "I love so-and-so name" and you're going to name your kid that, whether the kid will be tormented as a result or not.
It's not about you, Mommy and Daddy, it's about the new life you're creating and the nameplate that kid will have to endure throughout his or her life. Stop with the self-centeredness and think about the child. Give that kid a name HE or SHE will not have any misery with because we all know, kids are cruel...
As for family names, it was a tradition in my father's family to name the first-born son after the father's father (the baby's grandfather) and in most cases that was fine (Joseph, and whatever middle name) but there were four Josephs running around as my father has four brothers, one of whom refused to name his son Joseph! Family names, in many instances, can't be avoided. Maybe something to talk about beforehand, such as, before you're married just as you would talk about whether or not to have kids and if so, how many. If names are that important, the subject matter should be discussed beforehand, because in some instances, it can be a dealbreaker.
Just my thoughts, and hey, it worked for me!
Reply
8-02-2010 @ 4:04PM
Kathy said...Go ahead and go with the name you love. When I had my youngest daughter, my husband's family really wanted me to name her Bridget. I did not care for the name, and resisted at first. But when she was born, I relented...Bridget Christine. Now I cannot imagine her bearing any other name. It fits her perfectly, and I am so glad I gave in. Your husband will be the same. He will grow to love the name, and you will forever be touched by his willingness to let you select the name. Sloane is a lovely name, and I think you should go for it!
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