How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

My recent x told my kids next weekend he would be telling them who got there new tooth brush holder, QUESTION should I prepare them he may interducing them to a "new friend" ?

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Never Had The Chance:
I believe a lot of what people read about is theory except sometimes the actual way it turns out is quite different. I was an excellent parent until when my wife walked out on me when my son turned 17. She practiced what was called "Parent Alienation Syndrome and created all sorts of negative lies against me six months before she left with my son. The contested divorce went two years. I never spoke to my son before, during or after the divorce. All the courts care is about division of assets and if the child hs money for his education. He will be a junior in college. I have not seen him for three years except when she tried to use him in court against me. I cannot obtain his cell phone number or his college address or e-mail because he is over 18 and technically an adult and cannot be forced. I am just a paycheck. I have only one son. To say he will realize this in years to come does not cut it around the holidays especially Fathers Day. To this day his mother claims it is all on me. You cannot take back time. I wish I was there to talk about the divorce with him...as well as be there for his acceptance letter to college, and for his prom, and when he needs a dad....but the courts today are benefiting the ex-wife many times and they never put the spouse in place for using psychological warfare of putting a child in the middle. What comes around, goes around...is too long to wait for. George

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The couple that live nearby us-- all they do is fight & all she does is manipulate him & cry. They are at a point where they "think" they want kids, but it is CLEAR to us, that since she cries to get her way (the wife), and also manipulates & acts like a child herself, and when they do babysit -she always acts angry with the nieces/nephews, and like shes about yell at them and just start crying . She CLEARLY would NEVER be bale to handle children. She has no patience , she no longer works , shes on meds for mental health issues , and to think they are actually thinking of having kids tells us , if they do, they will end up divorced for sure .
THREE REASONS -- #1 -She is EXTREMELY selfish and wants everyone to make a fuss over her -immaturity problems big time.
#2--Also she wants to spend spend spend --you cannot do that when you have kids --you have to spend it on them & save the rest . She could never do that !!! ....#3-- She has shown that she CANNOT handle stress of ANY kind . She has lost her job over it, and we have seen her break down and fake-cry to get her way-(so you dont know when shes faking, or really crying, because of her mental health issues). Some people need serious psychiatric help, before even THINKING of having kids. Also, they are in DEEP DEEP DEBT--so bad , that they have had to take in a boarder for help-this is the second time too-( yet the guy -who's an ex con CLAIMS they are doing "soo well financially"-HA)--NOT QUITE
ex-con boy. He lies & has a longg criminal record , and she lies and has SERIOUS mental health issues. IF THERE WERE EVER A "DIVORCE WAITING TO HAPPEN, IT IS THEM" !!!! ...(plus they have divorces on both sides of their family). If they have kids, they are DEFINITELY going to end up divorced. But , hey --- my husband says " they are immature fools, so let them think a child is going to change their probs--GUESS WHAT ?? A child will complicate things!!!". They will find out the HARD way . Once the "For Sale" sign is up, we will be relieved , since they are low class & he has a record of vandalising things and breaking & entering. There should be a WAY of finding out there is a psycho & a criminal moving into the neighborhood, so others will know----just like how the cops let neighbors know of when a sex offender moves in . They are just as bad,, if not worse . We never know when shes going to have a psychotic break , or when he is going to "do something criminal", so we have cameras set up for our back driveway , and in side & front yard. Speaking of husbands,etc. I lost my first husband to cancer , and this husband is wonderful.
But i can imagine how tough divorce must be. It does take a toll on the kids. But it takes a bigger toll , if they know there is fighting & tension in the house . GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU. except "the ones i spoke of-they are beyond help". GOD BLESS !!!!

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Unfortunately, most of today's parent's use divorce as a bad game of long-term dating with the ability to opt-out if it doesn't work usually leaving children in the aftermath. Too many people use this moral relativism to excuse their actions for divorce and many woman use this to rationalize the overpayment of child support from their spouse(s) so they can stay-at-home and not work. Regardless of this stories body, most children never come away adjusted. If anything, it simply proliferates the idea that divorce is a "natural" course of events during a person's lifetime and is acceptable no matter how many times the same person does it, leaving the child(ren) to grow up and usually making the same recurring mistake because it was deemed acceptable by the parents. This fact has been documented since the 70's when divorce became more acceptable showing an exponential increase in divorce over the decades since.

Hoping this scripture will slap a few of your readers in the face and perhaps make them "wake up" and realize what they've done is wrong. Hoping they will repent and stop the cycle.

Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce" says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and (I also hate) him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

Mark 10:11 And He (Jesus) saith unto them, WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, and marry another, commiteth adultery against her

I Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord.

To those reading and truly understanding my point and not trying to excuse it out, so to speak-------learn that there needs to be boundaries set it place for living a good life and to teach those whom God places in your responsibility to learn those boundaries. I'm very sure if action is taken in this direction, not only will there be mentally healthier individuals but, quite a decrease in drug usage, crimes, and overall saner individuals.

Praise God---not yourselves

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I'm glad to see this information. I am the person that developed DivorceCare for Kids, DC4K. Currently it is in about 2,000 churches worldwide and we are hearing how hundreds of children are being helped. Plus we are hearing back from young adult and teens that have been through DC4K. Lives are being changed because parents and church leaders are doing an awesome job of helping the kids survive and thrive.

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I was 12 when my Mother and Father seperated. My father continued to live near us in Quincy,MA. Then when I was 16 he moved away to Ft. Lauderdale,FL. The divorce became fial when I was 23. My sister was 18. I was listen to a talk show in Boston in 1998. It was called "two chicks dishing". They were interviewing an author. The author said that parents separating and divorce is harder on boys than girls. She said this is due to the fact that boys don't discuss something like this with other boys. I am 58 now and have always had a tough time with women.

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next in the series on: "How To Talk To Your Kiddos About Being An Axe Murderer" but before that: "How To Talk To Your Kiddos About Being A Terrorist" don't forget our special series on: "How To Talk To Your Kiddos About Breaking The Ten Commandments and Pulling A Fast One On The Creator of Heaven & Earth" with a bonus section on: "Eternal Seperation From GOD" ...i mean seriously people, where do you draw a line between good & evil doesn't everybodies understanding of "The Truth..." begin at home but this secular... would have you explain away the reason you even exist (the relationship between a man&woman/marriage/children) as a common or unfortunate mistake.

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My parents divorced when I was nine. My father was a bum who didn't even pretend to look for work. After my mother tossed him out of the house, he managed to find work immediately - interesting how that worked.

At 13, he married a lady with two sons close in age to me and my sibling. And then he decided to stop seeing us, his new family was now his world.

I am now 41 and a couple yers ago I made a special trip to go see him, after having not seen or spoken to him in years.

After I came home from my visit, I was absolutely appalled!
I'm not sure what I was expecting from the visit, but way too much time had lapsed. I decided I just wanted to go back to how it was (no communication between us) and I did.

I don't hate my father, but I have absolutely no respect for a man who tossed his own two children to the road side for two new kids that weren't even his own blood. SCREW THAT!!

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Dom't BE a single mother. Don't marry somebody until you are as sure as you can be that they will be a good spouse, parent, and partner. Don't have a baby for at least 5 years, until you get to knowe your spouse, good amd bad pointd. Don't be second guessing yourself that you could have married somebody better looking and more successful. Realize that marriages have their ups and downs, so stick with your marriage if at all possible, even if it isn't like the ones in the movies and romance novels. If you have children, make an EXTRA hard effort. If you do get a divorce, do not date ANYBODY for at least a year if your are the parent with custody of the kids. It comes down to this: DON'T be selfish!!!

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DIVORCE IS BETTER THAN FIGHTING AND ABUSE. MY CHILDREN ARE BETTER SINCE WE LEFT. ITS HOW ONE HANDLES THE DIVOECE PROCESS THAT IS HARD. THIS DIVORCE HAS GONE ON FOR TWO YEARS AND HE IS NOW IS JAIL FOR STALKING. BE HONEST WITH YOUR KIDS THEY UNDERSTAND MORE THAN WE GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR.

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This would be nice not to use your kids as a weapon in divorce but most all woman due. The facts are if a woman wants money you cant see your kids and the courts help with parental alienation. Then you have DR.'s tell now dont use your kids as tools. I mean these same DR.'s the poor woman not the kids. Im going thru this process right now my son's have been mental, physical and verbal abuse and the system doesnt care what I have to say nor the boys but you throw the mother into the mix thats all that matters. I've writen a book for non-custodial fathers and stepmoms called STUPID GUY IN THE MIDWEST you can google the book or facebook the link.

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I FOR ONE HAD TO TELL MY KIDS THAT THEIR DAD AND I WAS GETTING A DIVORCE. THEY TOOK IT OK,GUESS BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUNG. ANYWAYS NOW IM INVOVLED WITH A MARRIED MAN WHO IS SEPERATED FROM HIS WIFE. THEY BOTH HAVE TOLD THE KIDS ABOUT ME AND THAT THEY ARE GETTING A DIVORCE. HE AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. WELL HIS WIFE HAS JUST GOTTEN HER LICENSE BACK TO DRIVE,SO THERE FORE SOME OF THE DRIVING IS OFF OF HIM. BUT THE THING IM CONCERNED WITH IS..AFTER SHE GOT HER LICENSE SHE SAID THEY WILL FILED FOR DIVORCE IN 6 MONTHS. IM LIKE WHY WAIT SIX MONTHS..GET THE PROCEEDINGS STARTED NOW. I AM THINKING HE DOES NOT WANT TO DIVORCE HER IN CASE THINGS DON'T WORK WITH HIM AND I. WE WERE INVOLVED BEFORE,BUT HE LEFT ME TO GO BACK TO HER. AFTER 3 OR 4 MONTHS HE AND I WERE COMMUNICATING AGAIN. THE CHILDREN KNOW OF ME..HE HAS TOLD THEM..BUT HE WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME ON THE PHONE IN FRONT OF THEM. WHEN IM THERE VISITING..THE KIDS CAN NOT BE AROUND IF IM AROUND. ONLY AFTER THEY ARE DIVORCED,THAT THE KIDS CAN BE WITH US. SO IM AT MY WITTS END HERE..WHAT SHALL I DO..LEAVE HIM OR WAIT 6 MONTHS..

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Did you know that most serial killers came from singe parent home? Think of all the unwed single moms and divorced moms. Statistically, more than 50% of all marriages in the U.S. ended up in divorce. More than 60% of all these divorces, women chose to divorce their husbands. Imagine a serial killer in the making. Thousands of children are having unstable childhood today.

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