'Magic' Quilt Prompts Toddler to Speak
Filed under: In The News, Amazing Kids, Amazing Parents
The author and her son, Max, on the "magic quilt." Courtesy of Judi Ketteler
As parents, we eagerly look to each milestone -- trying so hard not to compare kids, but desperately wanting to make sure our own are keeping up their peers (and holding out hope that they are secretly brilliant).
But at 22 months, my son's vocabulary still consisted of just "mama," "dada," "tiger" and "no no." And sure, he could bark like a dog and moo like a cow -- which was entertaining, but didn't help me check off that "language development" milestone.
I lost count of how many conversations I had with my now 2-year-old son that went something like this: "Hey Max, can you say cat? Say: 'ccccc' and then 'aaaattt.' 'Cat!' "
His response? A coy smile, and complete disinterest. As if to say, "Yeah, cat this, lady."
Meanwhile, the adorable little boy next door, who was only six weeks older than Max, had been talking for weeks, practically in sentences. He knew his colors already. Heck, he probably ordered their take-out.
"Stop comparing," my husband, Allen, chided me. "He'll talk when he's ready."
I knew Allen was right. Logically, I knew Max wasn't behind or developmentally delayed. He just wasn't motivated yet. My mom had always told me that my brother, Tony, didn't talk until he was almost 3.
"I would ask the doctor about it," my mom said, "and the doctor just said that Tony must not have anything to say yet."
Still, I found myself obsessing over getting Max to say words. His expression conveyed it all: Why say "doggy" when you can just look at one and giggle? Or better yet, look at your mommy and giggle at her pinched and desperate face? I tried to be rational, but, of course, I still worried.
Luckily, I have a great creative outlet for my worry and stress: Sewing. I've been sewing since I was 16, and just published "Sew Retro," a book about sewing history with lots of fun vintage-inspired projects. And, now pregnant with my second child, my sewing habit has kicked into overdrive.
There's something about the influx of estrogen and the expectation of new life that creates this compulsive need to make project after project, especially all of those projects that have been on my to-do list forever -- like making a quilt for our bed.
Inspired by that great "found" quality of basic scrap patchwork, I decided to make a colorful quilt compiled from random fabrics. I used leftover fabric from projects for my book, scraps from my (very large) fabric stash, pieces of vintage aprons my mom had given me, flea market finds -- just a little bit of everything.
I worked on it for a few weeks, finishing late one night. I smoothed down the finished quilting, placed it on the bed and slept the good sleep of creative fulfillment. My son may not have been in a hurry to reach milestones, but I was furiously trying to check off mine.
The next morning, my husband went to get Max out of the crib, and the boy came bounding into the room, ready to "help" me out of bed by yanking my arm -- our usual routine. But the quilt caught his eye and I could see his brain processing: Something is different here. Something interesting is going on with this bed.
I pulled him up onto the mattress.
"Look at all the colors, Max!" I said. "Which square is your favorite?" I asked. He pointed to a brown polka dot piece. "That's a good one! What else do you like?" He giggled, and pointed to some blue flowers. "Oh right, the blue flowers look like the flowers in the garden, don't they?" He nodded his head.
After breakfast, he wanted to look at the quilt again. And after his nap. And before dinner. And before bedtime. Each time, he'd discover another piece of fabric that was his "favorite." I showed him which one came from Grandma's apron, which one had birds hidden in it, which one had Russian dolls, which one reminded me of birthday cake and so on. He especially loved it when I said funny words like "fleur-de-lis."
Daddy picked out his favorite, and we theorized about which ones were the favorites of various cherished stuffed animals. By the next day, Max had practically memorized every square. I'd ask him what was what, and he'd point, intensely proud of himself.
And then it happened. "Gurrrl" he said, (unprompted!) pointing to the "Russian doll" piece. "Yes, girl!" I said, giddy. The next day, it was "wawa," or "water" as in, water the flowers (since there are so many flower patterns on the quilt and Max "helps" me water flowers every night).
Sitting on the quilt talking about the squares became our nightly ritual. One night, about a week after I made the quilt, we were all sitting on the bed and I mentioned something about Google to Allen. "Google" I heard a little voice echo. "Max, did you just say Google?"
"Google!" Max said again.
I suddenly had a hunch about the "ooo" sound. "OK, can you say goose?"
"Goooooose!" he said.
"How about moose?"
"Moooooose!"
And that was it: The floodgates were open. We went from talking about the "gurls" and "wawa" to talking about everything -- on the quilt, off the quilt, at the dinner table, in the car. Finally, my boy was talking! He didn't even need prodding; he just started to repeat everything. Even words I didn't want him to.
Was it that Max finally had found things he wanted to talk about? Maybe. Or maybe it was just the time in his development when he was finally ready, and a piece of Grandma's apron and some blue flowers were the catalysts.
I didn't make the quilt to teach Max anything. I made it because I'm a crazy pregnant lady and I can't stop sewing. I had no idea that my own creative outlet would resonate with this little boy. After all, the norm is to sew dresses for little girls, and give little boys trucks and dinosaurs. Little boys aren't supposed to like quilts and flowers and pretty colors.
But, as is often the case when you're so singularly focused, I was thinking too narrowly. I just needed a 2-year-old to tell me that. Thank goodness he learned to talk in time to set me straight.
Judi Ketteler is the author of "Sew Retro: A Stylish History of the Sewing Revolution + 25 Vintage-Inspired Projects for the Modern Girl." Find more info about sewing, her blog, fun vintage images, bonus projects and tutorials at www.sewretrothebook.com.
Related: Easy Ways to Bring New Style to Old Hand-Me-Downs











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 7)
8-06-2010 @ 9:42PM
Tracy said...What a great story! I felt the exact same way worrying about my daughter's milestones. It is impossible not to! Good to know I'm not the only one :)
Reply
8-07-2010 @ 3:28PM
ohioweaver said...One morning at breakfast Albert Schweitzer, who at age 3 hadn't said a word yet, commented: "this oatmeal is to damn cold"! His startled parents inquired, "Albert, why haven't you talked before this". His reply: "Well, up to now, everyting was alright"!
8-07-2010 @ 4:30PM
mabel said...I had a similar situation where I was also comparing my 2 year old son to a neighbor boy who was the same age as my son. It caused me to worry and think there was something wrong with my son who had lousy pronunciation and couldn't speak in complete sentences. Well, my son ended up being valedictorian and the other had trouble getting good grades all through out high school.
8-07-2010 @ 5:03PM
Annette Engel said...My brother's first words were "can I have a drink of water." The doctor said that my older sister was doing all the talking for him, so he didn't have to talk. She always desiphered what he wanted and asked for him. He would say GAH and she would get him a cookie... When my mom wouldn't let her get stuff for him, he came out with the sentence.
8-07-2010 @ 5:38PM
Rita said...Please contact your local school district and ask them to put you in touch with your local Early Intervention service providers. Your son is showing potential signs of an autism spectrum disorder. I made the same mistake with two of my children (believing they were just 'late' talkers) and wish I had given them the opportunity to receive early intervention services, rather than realize their differences later in life. Autism Spectrum Disorders can be mild, but your description of him repeating what others say when he finally began talking concerns me very much.
8-07-2010 @ 7:39PM
Ty said...ohioweaver, my cousin was similar. Everyone was a little anxious because he would just rattle off the names of things and repeat single words others said, and he was just over 2 1/2. His first sentence happened on a rainy day, he came in and said "I'm soaked!". It was probably the first time there was a problem that wasn't being immediately taken care of.
8-07-2010 @ 6:35PM
Crimsonrayne said...Maybe it was just because I was so young, but I never worried about my children's milestones. I knew that they were healthy and I did not give a hoot what other people's children did at that age. I figured that mine would get there eventually. My first child said one word every once in a while until he was 2, then all of the sudden, it was full sentences. My second? Dadda by 3 months. She knew who Dadda was, saw him and perked right up..."DADDA!!" Third baby...was figuring out puzzles at 6 months... 4th? Didn't speak a single word until after 2 years old. Every child was different, and I never read any baby books or worried about milestones. I am honestly glad that I did not, because I think I would have been a wreck, lol.
8-07-2010 @ 7:32PM
KMK said...We were slow to speak in my family too. But when we finally did - it was in complete sentences! Blessings.
8-07-2010 @ 7:19PM
Karen Newkirk said...My son (now 20) was the opposite. He was speaking complete sentences at 20 months. HOWEVER, he did not walk until 16 months . . . way behind normal. He was not totally potty trained until almost 3. My neighbor had a child that would hardly talk until age 3 and she would tell him to listen to Erik speak! But her child walked before 1 year old and was potty trained at 2 and a natural at sports.
Studies show that intelligence is not reflected in the time a child starts speaking.
Long story short they both are in college, graduated with honors from high school (just average on SAT scores for both) and both were 4-year lettermen in their respective high school sport (golf for my son, tennis for hers) So it all works out in the end!
8-07-2010 @ 9:53PM
Michaela said...With 4 kids the last two didn't talk until they were 3. They didn't have to, everyone knew what they wanted. My brother didn't talk until about that age and then started to correct peoples grammar.
So if your child is reacting to sound and is up to speed in everything else, eventually he will have something to say.
8-06-2010 @ 10:06PM
Melody said...Loved this essay! Now I just need to learn how to sew.
Reply
8-07-2010 @ 10:29AM
Jodi said...Great essay! It inspired me to get started on some of the creative projects I've been meaning to do forever. A new collage might lead to something wonderful. Thanks for the reminder.
Reply
8-07-2010 @ 10:42AM
heather said...What a great reminder of how life works itself out when we stop trying to control it. Fabulous essay.
Reply
8-07-2010 @ 6:45PM
Sue said...I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist, and I do appreciate your article as well. I think that the key piece of info. here is stop demanding young children to speak. It's the biggest turn-off to language development. Play with your kids at their level, label their interests (car, ball, etc.) and their actions (push car, roll ball). Have fun with your little ones! You'd be amazed at the world of difference you, as parents, can make:)
8-07-2010 @ 9:38PM
Ty said...Sue, best post from a professional I've seen here, thank you.
8-07-2010 @ 2:16PM
Natosha said...I am so glad I came across this, I have also been worried about my son's speach. He is two and a half years old and WONT talk..I say wont because he can, I have heard him, an can point out anything you ask. colors numbers and shapes..I guess he is just happy pointing and giggling, or screaming to get what he wants. maybe I havent put him in a positon where he has to talk yet..who knows, but the artical soothed my mind a little bit
Reply
8-08-2010 @ 12:26AM
Autumn said...I am a Speech Therapist. Not to say that I did not enjoy the article, but it can send the wrong message about children with speech and language delays. Children who are not developing language on time are not choosing to do so because they are not interested in anything yet. Many times, they have conductive hearing loss as a result from ear infections that have gone unnoticed. There are many reasons why a child is delayed and early intervention is necessary. This can cause many difficulties in school, social interaction, and also self esteem.
8-07-2010 @ 2:20PM
asahshalom (Joyce H. Jones) said...I choose potty training because my 4 children talked and walked early, but wore cloth diapers.
Reply
8-07-2010 @ 4:47PM
Irish Mist said...LOL I can identify. Had two in diapers for awhile...
8-07-2010 @ 2:25PM
trish said...my number 2 son didnt talk till he was over 2 years old i took him to our dr. and he said he would do it in his own time. so i took him to the clinic and the dr. told me he was toung tied. he cut the skin under his toung and he hasnt shut up sence. he is 36
Reply