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Let Adults Hang Out at the Playground (Even if They Don't Have Kids)
Filed under: Opinions
What would you do if you saw a man hanging around the playground and he didn't have any kids there?
Well, soon that question may be moot. Miami Beach is just the latest locality considering legislation that would make 19 playgrounds "children's play areas" -- i.e., strictly off limits to any adult not accompanied by a kid. Laws like that are becoming more and more common, according to nonprofit playground promoting organization, KaBoom. But are they making our playgrounds -- and children -- any safer?
The opposite.
"You should be able to go outside at lunch and sit in a public park and watch the children play," says KaBoom spokeswoman, Alison Risso. That's not just civil, it's safer. The more eyes on the street -- and the swings -- the better.
And yet, listen to this. A grandmother I know, Rochelle, went outside to read in her Manhattan neighborhood. The spot she chose was sentimental. "It was a park that my kids played in when they were little, so I was on a bench." But when she looked up from her book, she saw the parents "glaring" at her. "I got uncomfortable, and I left," Rochelle says. It was only then that she noticed the sign at the entrance: No unaccompanied adults allowed.
She was mortified to realize she disobeyed the rules. I'm mortified to realize these rules exist. Mortified to live in a society that thinks it is wise to always think the worst of every adult. Remember the story from this past spring? California parents noticed a guy lurking in their local park. A mom wrote on the neighborhood list serve, "He does NOT have children and pretends like he does and is there to do pull-ups. He takes pictures of the kids with his phone."
Soon 40 terrified parents were meeting with the police. The local news put the suspect's picture on TV. The police started tracking him and discovered (drum roll, please): He WAS doing pull-ups. And he was using his cell phone's stopwatch to time them.
Not to take dirty pictures of kids.
KaBoom's Risso lives in Silver Spring, Md. There, too, a middle-aged man recently started coming to the playground, solo. One of the moms finally ended up talking to him.
Turns out he's a refugee from the earthquake in Haiti. He's new to the country, and alone. He thought that by coming out to sit in the community, he would become a part of it.
Won't he be surprised to learn that, increasingly, this doesn't make him a neighbor. It makes him a criminal.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
8-10-2010 @ 11:41AM
Alicia said...Sucks for me. I'm twenty and I still go to the playground to go on the swings as stress relief. Granted, I usually don't go when kids were there.
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8-10-2010 @ 12:25PM
Becca said...That is sad I think there is nothing sweeter than an older person or couple takes there dog for a walk and than stops by the playground to let the kids pet them. They obviously get such joy from seeing and being around kids, and the kids love being around them.
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8-10-2010 @ 2:28PM
bw said...Well, I suppose someone should have said, "hi, what's up?" to him before assuming the worst. But, this recently happened where I live, in San Francisco. It is completely illegal here to be at a playground without children, but a young-ish man was doing just that, a known predator, and he was taking pictures of the children. So, it really does happen. We just have to stop and think critically about the situation before thinking the worst of everyone.
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8-10-2010 @ 2:52PM
SKL said...Wow, way to make kids even more disconnected with the overall community.
I used to go to the playground for exercise all the time when I was a young adult. And throughout adulthood, I would make passing through a park / playground a part of my long walks whenever possible. I do this because I love children and childhood memories - hopefully that doesn't make me all the more "suspcious."
Now I'm a parent, but I am not a different person. Why am I considered safe now? Some of the worst pedophiles have been parents themselves.
Nowadays I take my kids to the park and leave them to their own devices as I walk around the paths for exercise. I do get looks occasionally since it probably seems like I'm "alone." But I don't care. As far as I know, it's still legal to be an unaccompanied adult in my neck of the woods. And when I see another person who seems to be "alone" at the playground, I just figure it's none of my business. There are usually enough people around that it would be crazy for someone to try to snatch a child anyway - in the remote event they would want to.
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8-10-2010 @ 3:26PM
Silver Fang said...As a citizen whose taxes pay for the upkeep of the park and playground, the single person damn well has the right to go there and enjoy it. I would very quickly challenge this law on constitutional grounds.
And if some snotty parent gave me crap about being at a park without a kid, I'd say, "Where's the sign that makes this park your exclusive domain?"
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8-10-2010 @ 3:54PM
Rosemary said...As a mom of a three year old, I find older people by themselves engaging with my daughter in a number of places, including the park. It makes me happy to see the joy it brings to their lives. But it also happens in malls, on sidewalks and even at McDonalds. Sadly, a rule like that won't stop a true pedophile.
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8-10-2010 @ 3:47PM
Heidi said...Wow! How can that even be legal? Aren't parks and playgrounds public parks? So wouldn't that mean that ANY member of the public has the right to use them? I would imagine that people living in a neighborhood near such a park could challenge the legality of laws that ban them from the use of public space. I know I would fight tooth and nail if my town tried to pass such blatantly discriminatory legislation.
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8-10-2010 @ 3:50PM
Melissa said...You know, I'm on the fence on this one. I remember being a teenager/college student and sometimes going to the park to hang out with my friends and play. Because it was fun. Or going there to think.
That being said, I also keep a very close eye on my daughter when I'm even slightly uncomfortable with somebody. But, making blanket rules that prohibit somebody from sitting on a bench? Or doing chin ups in a public park? I think that's a little above and beyond what I feel comfortable with.
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8-10-2010 @ 4:20PM
Candi Nelson said...This is crazy. We are teaching our children to fear people, especially older people.
My children grew up without grandparents around (1 set 3 hours away, the other 8 hours away). Most of the neighborhood were young & middle age parents; very few older people. When my kids were in nursery school, the teachers took the kids up to play with the senior citizens, calling them "grandmas & grandpas" so the kids would feel comfortable with older folks.
Now that I am older & my kids grown, I love to watch children playing because it energizes me. I would never do anything to hurt a child.
A few years ago, my husband & I took a trip to the Crayola Factory in Easton PA. We were the only people there without kids. The admissions clerk looked at us like we were crazy to come without children, until I told her I was a preschool teacher. Why do we have to justify ourselves?
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8-10-2010 @ 11:08PM
Anthony said...Last year I was at the local playground with my son, in San Francisco. He was off free-ranging about and I was sitting reading a book. Sitting. Reading a book. Sitting... you get it. Suddenly I was surrounded by 3-4 cops saying they got a call of an adult sans chi...ld and demanding that I produce a child. I called Logan over, cops asked if I'm his dad, he said yes, one cop says, "I'm sorry, Sir." to which I replied, "Yes you are!" The worst part is that this "law" is painted on signs in playgrounds and cites Park Code 3.02. Park Code 3.02 simply says, "obey all signs." Land of the free and the home of the brave my rear!
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8-11-2010 @ 12:03AM
Floyd Stearns said...I'm with "Silver Fang" on this one. As a dad with four children, all adults now, I would challenge this "law" as well as bring the media into the fray. And, assuming it's a public park, I would not stay out of it. I'm 68 years old with a bit of an attitude about such nonsense.
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8-12-2010 @ 8:54AM
Kelly said...I went to college in New York City and worked as a babysitter. I used to take one of my young charges to an area in central park near the petting zoo. It was very peaceful, with lots of benches, a meandering walkway, lots of trees for shade and even some little covered gazebos. There was also paths from there to a curvy slide, another area filled in with sand with a climbing structure, and a bank of swings. But there were plenty of benches that were not anywhere near the play structures, where you could read in the shade in peace and relative safety, with people coming and going.
I used to like to take my lunch and read there between classes when i was on my own.
Then, the parks department started putting up signs that people not accompanied by children were not permitted. Not just in the play areas, but on the benches in the walkways leading to the play areas ( couldn't see the kids from them) and the covered gazebos which were not near the play areas at all.
I ignored the signs, and never had a problem, but was a young woman. If i was a guy, i probably would have been hassled. Just for reading and having my lunch in peace.
For what? To placate the paranoid?
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8-16-2010 @ 2:58PM
August said...This is ridiculous. If you're paying your taxes and all other various community fees for the park's maintainance you should be able to enjoy it without needing to explain yourself to anyone.
I can sympathize with worried parents who think a child molester is waiting behind every bush with nylon rope and a gag. But, if you notice a person that looks suspiscious, the reasonable thing to do would be to strike up a conversation. If their intentions are pure, you might make a new friend. If that turns out not to be the case, at least you'll have gotten a good look at their faces, or have heard a distinct accent, etc- so that if, fortune prevent, a child is taken, you'll have something useful to tell the police.
I enjoy watching children play. Their little games and squabbles remind me of myself as a little kid, and give me perspective on what I might expect if/when I become a mother. I don't need anyone hassling me or giving me the stink eye just because I came outside to de-stress a little.
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8-12-2010 @ 2:48PM
pentamom said...Some of my kids work out with their cross country team at a local park on summer mornings. It's across town, so I frequently drive them and wait. Sometimes I have the youngest with me, at other times there's someone home to watch him, so I'm there alone. I've been known to sit on a park bench and read while waiting, and funny thing, the shady park benches are all at the playground. I never realized I was a threat.
What a stupid, stupid law.
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8-15-2010 @ 6:56PM
Charlotte said...That's awful. Does anyone remember that scene in Children of Men, just after the baby is born, when all the fighting stops and people just come out of their rooms and corners to look at the child? There's this sense that the presence of a baby - and I think this goes for children too - is a joyful experience in the human condition. People shouldn't be *banned* from it. Watching children do their thing is such a wonderful experience. Lordy, it isn't *dirty*.
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8-15-2010 @ 7:20PM
twi-ny said...this law drives me crazy. in new york city, the sign that signals that adults without children are not allowed in that park shows an adult holding hands with a child, which is ok, and then an adult without a child, with a line through him, which is kind of offensive.
i write a new york city blog, with brief stories accompanied by a photo or flickr slideshow. (in the case of parks, i would take photos of the general area and activities and would be very careful not to include any children in the shots.)
a few years ago, when these signs first started being added to park entrances, i was about to go into one of the parks when a cop told me i can't go in. i showed him my official nyc press pass, issued by the nypd, and told him i was doing a story on the park -- to encourage families to go there. he said he would have to arrest me if i went inside the gates, even if he didn't necessarily agree with the law himself.
when did america become a country of exclusion instead of inclusion? (actually, was it ever truly wholly inclusive?)
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8-15-2010 @ 10:03PM
jkruofa said...Well, that kind of certainly wouldn't work in my town. There are also fitness trails at all of the playgrounds.
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8-15-2010 @ 10:05PM
jkruofa said...I meant to say "that kind of law..."
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8-16-2010 @ 11:39AM
kimku said...Hi,
I'm a mom of a 1-yr old daughter and recently had two incidents with older men - one man coercing my daughter to sit on his lap and dangling a toy for her, second with a man who grabbed my arm after discussing where we were from. both were handled verbally, but the problem is they came into our kid playground, which is very small in brooklyn, to sit and one approached me directly without sitting. Before I had kids, I might agree with you. Now that i have kids, live in a big city, and have had multiple altercations, forget it! Keep the law! The law isn't always enforced in NYC parks, which is fine, but I want to keep the law because it gives caregivers the right to ask someone to leave or call 911 if there's a problem. The law protects kids by allowing parents to enforce boundaries if they feel uncomfortable with someone.
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8-16-2010 @ 7:16PM
Maureen said...I'm pretty sure you have the right to ask someone to leave or call 9-1-1- regardless of this ridiculous law. And you know what happens when you ban everyone from the park? The weirdos still come.