Neale Godfrey: Return to the Nest
Jill Patir: Hug Your Loved Ones a Little Tighter
Parents Irate as New School Administrator Advocates Spanking in a Church Sermon
Filed under: In The News, Weird But True
Silas Coellner says you should start spanking your kids as soon as they're crawling. Credit: John Wilcox, Boston Herald
Oh, children start off all sweet and innocent.
Then they start moving under their own steam, and that's when they come up with some pretty original sins.
"There's something about when they reach that crawling stage, I have found, in my experience, when you can suddenly see that heart of defiance, of rebellion for the first time," Massachusetts pastor Silas Coellner said in a sermon earlier this year. "That's when you begin."
Begin what? Why, spanking them, of course. The father of three sees nothing wrong with making a crawling baby act like an angel by spanking the devil out of him.
Other people see plenty wrong with it, however.
Coellner, who is a math teacher as well as a pastor, has been hired to be the assistant principal at Old Rochester Regional Junior High School in Mattapoisett, Mass. -- about an hour south of Boston -- where his duties will include student discipline.
The Boston Herald reports many parents are upset because Coellner has gone on record in his role outside the school as a pastor saying it's "critical" to start spanking children as soon as they can crawl.
However, Coellner insists he won't "apply the board of education to the seat of learning" to other people's children.
"I'm not (spanking) other people's kids. It's all prescribed. You don't wing it. I'm not doing it alone and I'm not doing it privately," Coellner tells the Herald.
He admits he spanks his own children -- ages 6, 8 and 10. However, he tells the Herald, he does it out of love.
"It's about teachable moments," he tells the newspaper. "I never, ever, ever want to harm a child."
Coellner delivered his sermon on spanking Feb. 14, the Herald reports, where he called the practice a "a totally taboo, politically incorrect thing in our society -- something they are trying to make totally illegal."
But, he added, "there is a place for appropriate pain that parents apply, cause, inflict on their children."
Coellner was speaking to approximately 100 parishioners at Calvary Chapel Cape Cod (a nondenominational church 33 miles west of Mattapoisett).
"If you don't discipline them, then you hate them," he said in the sermon.
The sermon was podcast on the church's website for the past six months, but Coellner tells the Herald he took it down when reporters started asking questions. He says he doesn't want to be "dragged into a political debate."
The school's principal, Kevin Brogioli, tells the Herald he's heard the sermon and doesn't anticipate problems at the school.
"Silas has been an excellent teacher and I foresee him being an excellent administrator as well," Brogioli tells the newspaper.
Anti-spanking crusader Kathleen Wolf, a psychiatric nurse from Arlington who failed in 2007 to make Massachusetts the only state in the nation to ban corporal punishment in the home, tells the Herald she finds the sermon troubling.
"What an example of depth of ignorance," she tells the newspaper. "The concern is that someone in this kind of position gives a very strong, explicit message in public."
Related: Researcher Says a Little Spanking Is Good for Kids
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Pros and Cons of Spanking your Child
One of the most controversial issues parents face when raising their children is whether to use spanking as a form of punishment. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad talk with Dr. Elizabeth Gershoff, a professor who has been researching the topic. She explains the differences between corporal punishment and spanking. She also tells us why moms and dads spank their kids, along with whether or not spanking is on the decline.
-
Learn about the Effects of Spanking to Discipline
Learn about the effects of spanking to discipline in this series of parenting advice videos.
-
The Legal Status of Spanking of Children
In this episode of The Lab, we continue our discussion about one of the most controversial dilemmas in parenting - spanking. Dr. Elizabeth Gershoff returns to shed some light on how countries around the world deal with this issue. Find out which country was the first to ban corporal punishment and how many others have followed suit in implementing a spanking ban in schools, institutions and homes. Are there laws in place in the United States that deal with spanking children?
-
Is Spanking a Valid Form of Discipline
To spank or not to spank? It's a question all parents face and an issue that's inspired a lot of controversy. Anne has some real moms who weigh in on this touchy topic and gets some expert advice.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-10-2010 @ 4:36PM
Alicia said...I think spanking should be used for extreme moments, like to scare a child away from running out into the street after they've been told multiple times not to do so. To suggest that it be used to crush "rebellion" implies that children having their own ideas and testing their parents is a bad thing. Children should test rules and authority. They should be disciplined, but that rebellious spirit should never be squashed or they become sheep.
Reply
8-10-2010 @ 5:02PM
LS said..."The concern is that someone in this kind of position gives a very strong, explicit message in public." (Anti-spanking crusader Kathleen Wolf, a psychiatric nurse from Arlington)
So, she's saying that only *certain people* in "this kind of position" are allowed to give strong, explicit messages? Who exactly, should be giving those strong explicit messages, and what should those messages be?
Is the message that sex at any age, and with anyone - as long as you use a condom, of course - ok?
How about the message that it's ok to get an abortion without telling your parents?
Schools have been telling our kids those things for years, and any of us who disagree are shouted down, called "racist" (the go-to shut-down) or worse.
But a pastor (gasp!!) who advocates strong discipline for children he loves - this man is a cause for concern?
I'm thinking that Anti-spanking crusader Kathleen Wolf is a cause for concern... it is she who would invade the privacy of parents across the state of Massachusetts by taking away a disciplinary option.
And for those who are going to scream at me that it's "abuse"... whalloping on your child with a closed fist, any object, belt, whatever - THAT'S abuse. Screaming at your children incessantly is abuse. Neglecting or isolating (in the extreme) them - these are forms of abuse.
Frankly, giving your kids less discipline than they need and allowing them to run rampant could be considered a form of abuse.
A swat on the behind is not.
Reply
8-10-2010 @ 10:54PM
SKL said...What is the problem? I think they are really complaining because a man of religion is going to have an important job in a public school. They want to discriminate against him for being unapologetically Christian. No doubt they scoured the archives of this man's sermons to find something, anything to use against him.
Most members of the Christian clergy believe in corporal punishment. It's explicitly recommended in the Bible, after all. So what is shocking about the guy mentioning this? So he believes in slapping the hand of a 10-month-old who persists in using that hand to do something unsafe. I have done this (and don't worry, my kid still has a will of her own!). This belief is not a danger to society. You don't have to agree with it, but don't discriminate against this man because of his religious beliefs.
Reply
8-11-2010 @ 12:54AM
Floyd Stearns said...CHECK IT OUT:
February 18, 2010
Fundamentalist Christian couple held on $2M bail for beating their adopted child to death in Paradise, California
Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, California, were charged with murder and torture for allegedly beating their two adoptive daughters, causing injuries so severe that one of the two died. The other remains in critical condition.
The Schatz family believed in a religious philosophy that espouses corporal punishment to “train” children to be more obedient to their parents and God, using “the rod” as a corrective tool. In this case, the rod is a quarter-inch thick plastic plumbing line
Reply
8-11-2010 @ 10:49AM
LS said...That's a really sweet diversion you've thrown out there, Floyd. Way to paint with a ridiculously wide brush.
If I'm understanding you correctly, the fact that a "Fundamentalist Christian" couple beat their children to death in California is proof that a Christian Pastor in Massachusetts is going to beat not only his own children but all of the children in his care at this school, and therefore, should not hold the position he's earned.
Ok, I'll go with your argument. And here's what I've discovered:
O.J. Simpson is black and murdered his wife. Therefore, all black men are murderers and should not be allowed to marry.
Osama bin Laden is Muslim and orchestrated the 9/11 attack. Therefore all Muslims are evil and responsible for every terrorist attack, anywhere.
Bernie Madoff is Jewish and scammed people out of a lot of money. Therefore every Jewish man is a scammer and should not be allowed to have money.
Richard Speck was a white guy who tortured and raped several women in the course of his mass-murdering career. Therefore, no white men should be trusted with women.
Yep... that argument you make is spot-on.
8-11-2010 @ 1:26PM
Missy said...We're talking corporal punishment, not beating. Corporal punishment should never leave a bruise, should not be done in anger, and always done on a well padded area of the body, and done just enough to get the point across and in a controlled manner.
Beating is the opposite. It leaves scars, is always done in anger, and done mostly on very visible parts of the body and continues til exhaustion sets in.
Two very different scenarios. Two very different endings.
Taking an aspirin doesn't make me a drug addict, nor does spanking my child make me a child abuser.
8-13-2010 @ 8:44AM
Linda said...Here's a logical argument in favor of eliminating spanking:
I value parenting and discipline is an essential part of that.
I value living in a society where I can feel confident that children are not being abused.
The evidence is clear that spanking being a right of parents makes it difficult to sort out abuse and leaves many children in harm's way. Having personally reviewed hundreds of cases in which children were eventually killed, I have no doubt that deaths could be prevented if we didn't have to allow parents to hit their children, which we do have to do by the way. Every parent in the U.S. is allowed to hit their children, really as much as they want as long as they can justify it as discipline and it doesn't cause significant injury.
The evidence is also clear that there are non-spaking methods of discipline that work at least as well if not better. In fact, most of the kids I look at and say "wow - what a well-behaved kid" have not been spanked. In fact, I regularly hear this in regard to my three children. You can trust scientific research or just do your own. I bet anything that the kids acting out are the kids who get spanked, not the reverse as so many would like to think. We know for sure that most criminals have been spanked, as just one point of evidence. There are many.
Without regard to public opinion, the research is clear on both of these premises.
Therefore, I think it is not too much to ask that parents use other means of discipline so that we can have more confidence that children are not being abused. This argument does not rely on a premise that spanking is abuse; that is not the point. Why are we so attached to something that is of limited (if any) value and that makes it harder for us to know that truly abused children are being protected?
Reply
5-28-2011 @ 11:41AM
reo guy said...Are you serious? More government intervention on the masses because of the actions of a few? The last thing we need is more government in our lives and it's people like you Linda that call the police when they see a parent "swat" a child on the backside at the grocery store. Yes, there are people that should not have children because they abuse the opportunity, there is no doubt about that, however to suggest "we" not allow any physical discipline at all is insane. That is not the governments business or yours.
8-15-2010 @ 12:16AM
vanessa said...criminals weren't spanked, they were probably beaten. thats why they became criminals. if they were spanked and taught right from wrong, they would not be a criminal. and how many times were they threatened with time out or sent to the corner, before they ignored the push over parents and walked out the door to become rude and obnoxius people who think they could get away with anything, because all they'll receive will be a lecture and told please don't do it again.
Reply
10-24-2010 @ 9:47AM
Diana said...The quote that most people use to justify spanking their children is, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". Somehow the meaning of the "rod" got lost in translation. The bible talks about guiding our children and that's exactly what a rod is for - it is used to guide sheep! Did you ever see a shepherd smack the sheep with the rod? No - just gentle nudging to keep them on track.
"Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me", form the 23rd Psalm, speaks to me of the guidance we get when we are following the spiritual principles set out in the bible. How much comfort does a baby who is still in the crawling stage get from being smacked?
Spare guidance and your kids WILL be spoiled - and not in the sense of being over-indulged - but in the reality of being ruined by parental neglect. Undisciplined children get into all kinds of trouble so I am not denying that children need discipline, they certainly do. But they don't need to be hit to learn to be responsible little people who grow into loving, caring, responsible and productive adults.
Reply
5-31-2011 @ 9:10AM
Debra said...Let Me tell you I was beaten as achild (belts whips etc by my father My mother turned a blind eye to the abuse By the way my father only beat my sister and me not my brother I have had severe problems because of this and my brother in turn abused his wife which led to their divorce This is what he grew up with and thought it was ok cause he saw my father do it Ther is no reason to ever hit a child I never hit my kids and they turned out just fine This guy is hiding behind his religion so he can cause "pain" to his children No one deserves this
Reply