Father Loses 2 Young Children In Tornado
Why It's Hard To Get Along With Your In-Laws
Can I Honor a Male Relative With a Female Namesake?
Filed under: Babies, Baby Names
My brother, Jacob, passed away in October. I was wondering if it would be okay to give a girl the name Jacob as a middle name, since I do not like the female versions of the name Jacob?
- Remembering Jacob
I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your brother were close, and that having a child to carry on his name and his memory would be deeply meaningful for you.
I can understand why you'd be nervous about the middle name Jacob for a girl, though. Cross-gender names can be confusing and even controversial. (Ask any mom who named her son Ashley in the '70s what she thinks of girls taking over boys names.) And Jacob isn't even a common androgynous choice like Cameron or Peyton. Jacob is America's No. 1 boy's name, firmly in the snips-snails-puppy-dog-tails camp.
Middle names serve a different role in our society than first names. They're less bound by fashion, and more bound to family. Middle-name-Jacob actually sounds old-fashioned rather than cutting-edge for a girl, because of the old custom of using a mother's surname as middle name for her children. We don't blink at girls named Catherine Martin X or Grace Williams Y because we expect that these masculine-sounding middles signal their family connections.
That's what Jacob will mean to your daughter, as well. By giving her your brother's name, you are granting an important relationship -- that of uncle and niece -- the weight it carries in your heart and the role you wish it could assume in your daughter's life. Your brother's name is every bit as much a family name worthy of passing down as that of any Mayflower pilgrim.
Have you chosen names to honor people you love? Share your experiences here. And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- Copyright royaly board understanding building a radio or tv (song sound good got your own radio)?
- D. hickman v. intel, microsoft et.al federal district court dc (bill gates deposition part 1 you tube?) are you a owner of a company?
- Does the dc superior court represent the irs in a civil filing or does the irs have attorneys?
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Marc Jacobs Shares His Talents
Germany says guten tag to Marc Jacobs. The popular American designer is lending his name to "Designer for Tomorrow," a competition for new designers. Jacobs says working with the new talent is inspiring.
-
Native American Actor: It's Time For The Washington Redskins To Change Name
The Washington Redskins' team name still registers as offensive to many, including Native American Indians, but a name change hasn't happened. Guest Gary Farmer joins Jacob Soboroff to discuss.
-
Louis Vuitton Named World's Most Valuable Luxury Brand
The French fashion house, whose creative director is Marc Jacobs, was named the world's most valuable luxury brand for the seventh year in a row after being valued at $25.9 billion dollars . Louis Vuitton has a ton of celebrity fans. You'll often see the luxurious suitcases behind boarded onto private jets and celebrities carrying their classic bags. Angelina Jolie was recently named the face of the brand and rarely leaves home without her large Louis V tote.
-
Marc Jacobs Takes a Nurturing Role in His New Fashion Project
He works as the creative director for Louis Vuitton and runs his own enormous label, but despite all the success Marc Jacobs found time in his busy schedule for future designers, nurturing them, supporting them and lending his name to the project “Designer for Tomorrow”.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-07-2010 @ 12:55AM
James said...I don't think there is anything wrong with "Jacob" as a girl's middle name.
1) It sounds like a surname, and the use of the mother's maiden name as a middle name is common.
2) She may not keep her middle name after she gets married. (Think: Hillary Rodham Clinton.)
3) In Europe, it is not uncommon for men to have a "female" middle name and women to have a "male" middle name. In France, "Marie" is often paired up with "Joseph," "Antoine," and "Claude." In Austria and southern Germany, "Maria" is man's middle name. (For example, the actor Klaus Maria Brandauer.)
So, no one will think Jacob is a totally weird middle name if your daughter has a feminine first name.
Reply
11-01-2010 @ 12:54PM
SHARON said...We named my daughter after my husbands grandfather...His name was Sydney but we changed it up and spelled it "Cydney" it works!!
Reply
11-13-2010 @ 10:36PM
Davon said...I had a co-worker 10 years ago who named her 1st daughter Miranda Robert in honor of her husband (They were going to name baby Robert if a boy, and when baby was a girl they used Robert as her middle name) I thought back then that it was pretty unique and like the idea just as much today :)
Reply
11-13-2010 @ 10:40PM
Davon said...BTW, I am female and my given name is a male name, so I don't think all girls must have a "traditional" feminine name :)
----------
12-17-2010 @ 7:59PM
smurphette said...Use it as your brother spelled it. Don't change it up to make it seem feminine. You weren't ashamed of your brother, don't be ashamed to honor him. Don't lead your daughter to be ashamed to honor him. When another child asks, or even teases "You have a boy's middle name, are you a boy?" She can say with quiet certainty; "That was my Uncle's name. He died before I was born. In MY family, only very special people get to have that name. My Uncle was amazing."
Reply
12-18-2010 @ 10:07AM
Amanda said...My grandfather Nicholas died the year after my husband and I got married, so my husband was able to get to know him as well and see what a wonderful, incredible man my grandfather was. We decided after that that we were going to name our first child after him in honor of his memory. Fortunately, his name was easy to adapt to a female name, and today our older daughter Nichola carries his name with pride! She was told about him as she has grown up, and she likes the fact that not only is she named after her great-grandfather, she has a name that nobody else in her school has!
Reply
1-02-2011 @ 8:01PM
Mary said...I named my daughter after her grandfather and my brother, Leslie, but gave her middle name Susan. She ask me why I didn't name her Stirling for a middle name. I didn't know how she would react to a boys name. She will need to live with the name I gave her.
Reply
2-06-2011 @ 3:36PM
Sydney said...My parents named me after my Grandfather Sidney. My Mother told me had I been a boy she would not have used this name. She thought it was a beautiful name for a girl. We did not change the spelling other than the i.
Reply