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Teens Increasingly 'Unlike' Parents as Facebook Friends
Filed under: In The News, Teen Culture, Research Reveals: Teens, New In Pop Culture
Study shows kids are unfriending parents to avoid public embarrassment. Credit: Corbis
Many young people already suspect that parents stay awake all night dreaming up new and sadistic ways of driving their kids feather-plucking insane.
Now some of these junior detectives have discovered the Facebook Ploy: You friend your child on Facebook and bombard him or her with nagging, embarrassing and downright humiliating comments.
Hee hee.
Unfortunately, now that kids are hip to this fiendish plot, they are leaving Facebook and forcing parents to lose more sleep to all-night strategy sessions.
Online gaming site Roiworld commissioned a survey of 600 adolescents last spring and found what has been called Facebook Fatigue, the San Jose Mercury News reports. Almost one in five teens are taking their marbles and going home, some because they spied another shiny object and others because of annoying parents who insist on being their "friends."
And a study by AOL reveals that a third of Facebook teens are ready to unfriend their parents. Mom, by the way, is twice as likely to get the boot as Dad.
There is even a website called "Oh Crap, My Parents Joined Facebook" devoted to the dumb, annoying, nagging and clueless comments parents make on social network sites.
"Congratulations! Your parents just joined Facebook," the site's homepage announces. "Your life is officially over."
Among the comments made by parents:
- "Alex, will you please agree to be my son on Facebook? I've sent the request."
- "Just didn't want to be one of those parents who embarrass their kids on Facebook (because I love you so much, sweetie pie.)"
- "Be my friend pleez even if I am your mom."
- "Dad thinks you look like Cher. Please change photo fast."
Leitenberg, 27, launched the site last year with friend Erika Brooks Adickman, 28. She tells the newspaper the site receives at least 20 new embarrassing submissions a day.
"They (parents) join out of the mentality that they're the cool mom, and they just want to be part of the gang," Leitenberg tells the Mercury News. "They don't realize how horrifying or how intrusive they actually are."
According to the Roiworld survey, at least 14 percent of teens surveyed say they are leaving Facebook because there are just "too many adults and older people" on the site.
So grownups have ruined something else for kids and given them one less place to hide? As Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons" might say at this point as he drums his fingers together: "Eeexcellent ..."
Related: Could Facebook Keep Your Kid Out of College?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
8-31-2010 @ 3:13PM
KI said...Isn't Myspace meant for teens and Facebook more for adults?
Reply
9-09-2010 @ 7:07PM
niki said...yes, Facebook is intended to be for college-aged and above. Myspace is more marketed towards teens. I say good-riddance if the kids are leaving FB
9-14-2010 @ 2:35PM
Kole said...I have to say that I really would rather not see my kid on face book. I don't want him to be talking to adults that I know trying to get info on dear old dad. Http://bit.ly/samplecenter has some great deals for adults who have to save money. Free samples and coupons, and they have a fb page.
8-31-2010 @ 6:25PM
Donna said...I have older children. I personally wouldn't want them as friends on facebook. We communicate at home and via text messaging. I don't need to communicate with them on facebook.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 12:55AM
Grace said...the irony of this being that facebook wasn't originally designed for teenagers. it was designed for adults- college students. not highschoolers, jr high or whoever else is allowed on it today. so technically, those on the original facebook could make the claim that the teens are the ones ruining it
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 10:12PM
Joe said...actually...you're wrong
Facebook was created by Mark Zuckerberg for Harvard students and staff to communicate with each other in February of 2004. It was then extended to all universities. In September of 2005, US high school students could sign up. THEN, in September 2006 (a year later), Facebook was extended to anyone with an email account.
So facebook was FIRST open to high school students, THEN anyone (you annoying adults)
So no...you can't make that claim...adults are ruining facebook (and don't even know what theyre talking about :p)
(i was going to give you a link of where i got my info, but this site won't let me post links, so just google "history of facebook" if you're curious)
p.s. sorry for being an ass, its just that people who say that facebook is meant for adults really annoy me
9-02-2010 @ 3:43AM
me said...Facebook was first open to Harvard students and staff, who are all 18 and over making them adults. After all the college people it was then open to high school kids. So it was first created for adults, then opened to the annoying kids. So Facebook was FIRST open to college students, THEN anyone (you annoying kids)
9-07-2010 @ 9:52PM
Joe said...to "me"
read what i said above, yes technically people over 18 are adults...but not a lot of them consider themselves "those annoying grown-ups/old people" i think they relate more with high school students than with adults...like i said before...it was THEN open to high school students, THEN to anyone (adults)
so all in all...high school students were on facebook before adults were...so go back to your stupid twitter, or learn to share and not be invasive bitches
9-09-2010 @ 7:13PM
niki said...joe what are you? 15? anyone can see FB is marketed towards a more mature crowd... no flashing obnoxious profile layouts, the emphasis on relating to people beyond horrible music. It was later opened to teens, but that doesnt mean it was made for them. It was made for COLLEGE aged people and people who have jobs and a reason to network. Hence the reason why kids eventually become bored with it and leave.
9-01-2010 @ 12:03PM
Carolina said...Oh, Jeanne Leitenberg, you are so darned cute! Parents don't join Facebook to stalk their kids, although it's a great benefit. Parents join Facebook for the same reason their kids do, and it's the same reason you invented Facebook, and all of you at Facebook love it - drives up your member numbers.
It's a social networking site. And parents who want to know what's going on with their kids are going to figure it out whether Facebook ends tomorrow or lives forever. And if my kid "unfriends" me on Facebook, her laptop and car keys will disappear, and her password will be changed on my computer. Bummer!
One more thing - kids embarrass their parents more in one day than parents embarrass their kids in a lifetime. Cute Jeanne, one day you will figure that out. Like, you kind of need to, like, get over yourself. Seriously, dude.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 2:14PM
Barbara said...Call me a "bad" parent..one who is runing her child's life...or whatever you want...but as a PARENT - it is my job to make sure my child stays out of trouble, and does not participate in things that are just wrong... i.e. teenage drinking, bullying, etc.. Being friends with my children on the social networking sites, is one way for me to keep an eye on what it is that they are involved with. I am friends with both my children on Facebook.. one is 21 the other is 13. I make EVERY effort to NOT comment on their walls, rather discuss with them privately if something looks wrong. The trouble with our world today - parents are not involved ENOUGH in their children's lives... so I am not sure why it is "wrong" to make sure your children are safe are choosing the right friends...and are conducting themselves in a mature and reasonable way for their age group.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 3:01PM
Kari said...I'm friends with my 13 year old on FB as one of the conditions for her having an account. My 16 yo son has declined to be friends with anyone in the family, and I allow that so he can have some privacy without sneaking around or creating another acct I don't know about. BUT since he has proved (repeatedly) to be untrustworthy over the past year & gotten into a fair amount of trouble, I am not above looking at his FB acct if he leaves it open on the family computer.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 3:29PM
Lawrence said...I am a friend but I dont really talk on facebook I think its kind of silly. I do monitor my 11 year old daughters activity and friends and conversations. When I see something or see someone using profanity or saying something innapropriate I dont reply to them on facebook, that would make her want to de-friend me. I simply pull her aside and have a conversation about the type of person she wants to be and the type of friends she wants to assiociate with. From time to time I just simply tell her to de-friend people who I feel cross the line. She does'nt live with me or she wouldnt have a facebook page until she was 14, I dont really see any positives to an 11 yr old having a FB page.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 3:39PM
Laura said...I have both, older children not living at home, and on new teen at home, and we all have a facebook page. Our older kids like that we are able to communicate and post pictures of things they are missing since they are away at college, and military posts. For our new teen, when she asked if she could have a Facebook page, we told her yes, but we would need to be a friend and know her password, otherwise, she could not have one. This is working out pretty good so far.
I think the whole privacy issue with children and parents is that, so long as the parents are paying for everything for their children, the children should not have privacy as they choose.
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 4:41PM
KAREN said...I am on face book .I am friends with my son and some of his friends . They are at college so it a good way to stay in touch with him and kinda know what happening and he like it because I am not calling him every day. I am considered a creeper they get a laugh out of it. but I do have my own friends to communicate with and once in a while not to offer make a comment on my sons
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 7:15PM
Sue said...It really is about control. I have three teenage children & usually know whats up. In someways this has helped me see the world thru their eyes (mine 25 years ago) and remember that they need to experience somethings without me hanging over them. But more importantly, my one child has some serious depression issues and suiside has been voiced a time or two. This medium has allowed us to check on him without asking a million questions and without him being embarassed that we are paying attention. As much as they want our attention they dont want to tell us or see us paying attention.
I do have friends who do the stupidest (yes I know not a word) things and I have to. Commenting when we just shouldn't. It is all about trust and knowing your limitations as parents but more importantly it is not abusing your childs space that they are allowing your to share
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 8:16PM
Heidi said...My now 15 yr old daughter is the one who set up my Facebook page and sent friend request to all of her friends. A lot of my 17 yr old's friends have friended me too. I don't bother them or make stupid comments, but it is an easy way to monitor their activities and keep track of what their friends are doing too. Subtly of course
Reply
9-01-2010 @ 11:49PM
ASHLEY said...I THINK ALL FACEBOOK IS A DRAMA WORLD OF DRAMA KINGS AND QUEENS AND DNT DO NOTHING BUT START TROUBLE IN UR LOVE LIFE
Reply
9-03-2010 @ 12:17AM
adnan said...love
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9-02-2010 @ 7:49PM
cristina said...i had a myspace. then my mom decided to get one too. then i always saw her on facebook AND myspace! i used to think that facebook was only for college kids & up.. untill i finally made one to k.i.t with family in mexico. now i have over 200 friends, and most of them are 17 &up.. myspace is just too crowded now a days. there are alot of kids and pervs on that site. facebook is just better.
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