Do Dads Matter?

I agree with everything said. But there are a lot of children who don't have any parents at all...don't you think it is better for them to be adopted and loved by someone, even if it is just the woman (or man) then to not be adopted at all?

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Its not "trendy" as you put it. Men make a conscious decision to leave their families or their pregnant girlfriends/wives everyday. We're not left with many choices. If the father leaves, then that is not the women's fault. He walked away. Done. So now there are many single mothers out there but not by choice. Don't blame the women and the mothers. Blame the men for not stepping up to their responsibilities. Also, if a woman reaches a certain age, has no boyfriend/husband but wants a child, you're going to punish her for her choice of creating a life but without a father? Do you wish that child was never born or something? If she has no male figure in her life but still wants a child, should she just not have that child because there is no man in her life? That doesn't make any sense. You're totally taking what Aniston said the wrong way. She meant if you want a child but no husband/boyfriend then you have every right to have that child. No woman should not fullfill her dream just because a man isn't around. What a horrible article you just wrote. Wake up lady

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I agree that children need a father, but today it is far too common that men walk away from the family or their responsibilities far more often than women. Further, I don't think society holds men accountable for these actions. There should be more focus on the importance of a father and their contribution to a child's life.

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it is trendy to be pregnant. ok, small doesn't answer back. after that. need handlers. need balance. nothing worse then a child without recourse of going to another parent. need two who look at things differently. from different perspectives. otherwise the craziness of one parent dominates. and it can get you crazy. it's hard work. it's a trip. the greatest one in the world and the heaviest responsibility. going it alone is developmentally bad for the offspring and the loner. unlike dogs whose lifespan is relatively short and you can euthanize, kids are a forever thing. not trendy, no not at all. but shared, real treasure.

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This article is touching and I am happy that this woman can write about her perfect life with her perfect partner. But I raised two boys alone who exceled at sports with no help at all from a "father" I have no athletic ability at all but with my emotional support they are outstanding. In a perfect world with responsible fathers yes they are ideal but in our imperfect world where marriage is just not forever to half the population you do the best you can.

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Maybe what you should have done is learn how to hold a bat and then teach your son. It was not the lack of an available father that caused your son to have a problem but the lack of someone, father or mother, to teach him.

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My mistake, the first sentence should say "fathers" not "father's."

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Way to take Jennifer's comments completely out of context.

So what Rachel is saying is if you don't meet the right many than any guy will do so long as the child has a father? And what a ridiculous anecdote - Rachel couldn't practice batting with her son? Because I'll tell you when it comes to sports I'll be the one doing the coaching/training, not their father (he's not sporty at all).

The majority of men just really aren't that involved with their kids. We are a very lucky few who have husbands that are really that involved with the parenting. I see my friends every day complain about it - they are married to great guys, but they just really aren't into the day to day parenting. Moms still do the lions share of parenting.

Seriously, if someone wants to have a child that's their business. Rachel wants the right to do whatever she wants, have as many kids, criticize anyone with a difference of opinion, but doesn't want to give others the same right. No one MADE Rachel have a child without a husband so why should she care if someone chooses to do so?

And is Rachel saying its better for single moms to have an abortion than be a single mom.

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Great article! Though, I think some of the readers are missing the point. I don't think this was meant, in any way, to criticize those who are single mothers (or fathers, for that matter) because their partner took themselves out of the picture. Yes, in some cases people end up becoming single parents--and this was not their choice, decision, or even their fault. This is not the situation that is being criticized here. It simply says that it's not in a child's best interest to choose to become a parent without a father in the picture at all (ie: a single woman who chooses to be artificially inseminated--a situation, in which, single parenthood is 100% preventable!). I agree with Rachel on this one. It's just not great for the child. Again...I want to stress the fact that this is NOT a criticism of those who find themselves being single parents due to situations that are beyond their control.

When I look back at my childhood (and I was very lucky to have a happy one--and I thank my mom and dad for that!), I can see how important it was to me to have both my parents in my life. They, not only supported each other, but balanced each other out too. And now that I'm a mom and I look at my husband and myself as parents I see that same thing happening! As much as I sometimes hate to admit it, I'm NOT always right! Our daughter needs her Daddy JUST AS MUCH as she needs me!

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I have never responded to a blog before but this struck me as truly important. I worked as a psychotherapist last year in a medical center for teen parents, the majority between 18 and 21. Most of the young women would have given anything to have had the FOB(father of the baby) involved or any support from family, friends, etc.. What impressed me about my patients was their dedication to their children and to not repeating parenting mistakes which were highly detrimental to their own development which they had learned during their own childhoods. Of the patients who remained with the FOB, the FOB often used physical violence against his wife/partner sometimes in the presence of the child (technically child abuse). Others were not mature enough to create a healthy or safe environment for the mother or child(ren).
I have found the research to show consistently that being raised in a family with 2 loving parents who are emotionally stable is the optimal situation. I have also read and observed the damage which can be done to healthy psychological adjustment by a parent(s) who are emotionally or physically abusive, including inconsistent visitation and conditional expressions of love.
Jennifer Aniston's character reflects the sentiments of millions of women who have a strong desire and ability to parent a child in a loving healthy environment, even though they may not have a partner in the picture. My research has brought me to the belief that it is healthier for a child to have only one loving attentive parent than chaos and disruption or a sense of love which is based on ambigious conditions. This one strong caregiver relationship can make the difference in the eventual adult's ability to have a mutually caring relationship and raise healthy stable children of their own. And isn't the real goal to raise productive and contributing members of society?
I was raised to believe in the value of the traditional family and I honor and respect those families in which both parents are committed to the care and well-being of their children. Too often, this is not the case- I have worked with and known single fathers who were abandoned by their wives. We offer classes before marriage, yet little, if anything, is offered to those considering parenthood. There are no guarantees that beginning life with two seemingly devoted parents equates to a continuity of the same situation even a year later.
In my personal experience, I have been with and without an attentive father for my children. If I could go back and do things differently, I would not have encouraged my ex-husband to be involved because his absence would have been better than his inconsistency and the negative impact it had on the self-esteem of our children. I was fortunate to meet a loving and caring man who is devoted and dedicated to both the children and me. And I would wish the same for any single parent who desires this.
My point is that a traditional nuclear family is not only not a guarantee it is no longer the normal condition. The values of both men and women have changed as have the roles. The reasons for this are numerous but the result has impacted the picture and definition of the family in our society. Should the changed picture detract those who may be single from giving the many children who desperately need loving homes and nurturance the opportunity to experience this?
For those of you who worry about the well-being of children raised in single parent households, you can become a positive influence for change by volunteering in mentor programs in your area or taking the time, with the parent's permission of course, to spend time with a child who may benefit from the extra nurturing and attention. Church or other groups can develop programs which support single parents. There are a number of ways which you can become active in creating a better situation for children who you feel may need more than they are receiving. Please check with your state and city to learn about the liability and legal requirements pertaining to these activities.

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