Opinion: Your Grade-Schooler Doesn't Need a Cell Phone

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts)
Sep 2nd 2010 4:25PM

Filed under: Opinions

Call it a day -- cell phones just aren't for kids. Credit: jupiterimages

Today's conventional wisdom seems to dictate that "cell phone" should be right there on the back-to-school shopping list along with markers, crayons and new shoes, but when did it become part of our cultural landscape to keep watch over our children 24 hours a day, even when they're in school?

A recent study conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that 51 percent of 12-year-olds owned mobile phones in 2008. In 2004, that number was 18 percent. When my generation was 12 years old, we were just figuring out how to manage the Betamax player and this crazy new technology called a "personal computer."

Not to mention the fact that our parents actually relied on the proverbial village to help us make it to adulthood. We were surrounded by responsible adults who weren't named "Mom" and "Dad." We also had teachers, coaches and our friends' parents to look out for us. And you know what? Our kids are surrounded by those people, too.

We did not need an electronic monitoring device, which is basically what a cell phone becomes when you hand it to a 12-year-old. And, frankly, I fear that handing my child a cell phone would open up a Pandora's Box of media exposure that I really wouldn't be able to contain.

Look at the data: Anne Collier, co-director of ConnectSafely.org told ParentDish in April that the average kid sends and receives somewhere around 2,000 text messages per month. That's approximately 66 text messages a day, and I'm guessing even the most vigilant helicopter parent can't keep track of an inbox that active. I know I couldn't.

So what, you say? Texting is just LOL and emoticons! Surely you've heard of this new trend called "sexting?" Sending nude or suggestive photos and provocative messages is more normal than not, and some teens are paying a very high price, indeed, for fleeting moments of poor judgment.

The messages can be sent around to their peers. They can be used as a bullying tactic. They could even land your son in jail, as one Rochester, N.Y., 17-year-old found out when he wound up facing nearly seven years in jail after he forwarded a nude photo of his girlfriend, then 15, to his buddies.

But this stuff can't happen to my fifth-grader, right? Or my kindergartner, or my second-grader. But it could, and that's the rub. The device may seem like a lifeline, a way to tether your child to you when he or she is out of sight, young and vulnerable to the big, wild world -- but plenty of kids see it as a portal to freedom.

Yes, we can put limits on their plans, restricting the number of texts and calls they can make and receive. Yes, we can get phones that are "for emergencies only." Yes, we can even invest in software that keeps track of their text messages, and filters them through our own phones.

But what message does that send? Sure, kid of mine, I want you to be independent and learn how to be responsible, but I'm going to watch your every move while you do it.

Even the product names are loaded with implied judgment, using words such as "watch dog" and "spy." I, like most teens, got up to my own particular brand of adolescent mischief, and my parents were much better off not knowing about it.

I, too, was much better off, for learning to handle those mistakes on my own.

It's difficult to send our small people out into the great unknown, to set loose these vulnerable, precious beings on whom we've spent so much time, energy and devotion. It makes my heart contract in ways I never knew possible to watch my child skip down the porch steps with her backpack on her very wee shoulders.

However, my own parents did the very same thing, without the aid of technology, and everything turned out just fine. We're telling our children that the world is something to be feared, rather than embraced. We are sharing with them our lack of trust in the inherent goodness of the human race, our desire to turn inward and hide away.

And that will eventually destroy them -- and us, too.

Related: Want to Win Custody? Become a Helicopter Parent

ReaderComments (Page 5 of 13)

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9-03-2010 @ 3:40PM

william said...

Ok , well first of all times have changes it not the cave period now, people do have guns and weapons , and there are a lot of crazy people out there that are willing to hurt or scare a child very much, i deal with these people on a daily basis believe me! although it is still your choice, it creates a safer environment for these children because they can get in contact with the 911 dispatch center and then we can get to the location to intervene with the criminal after the dispatch tracks the phone's location and then it will be easier if the child does get lost or kidnapped for us and other proper authorities to reach the child safely.

9-03-2010 @ 3:33PM

SHERRY said...

I wish that I would have never given my 16 yr olds cell phones...I lost sooooo much control over my childrens lives when I did that. I couldnt tell who they were texting, what they were texting even when they were texting. Think twice about this purchase of a cell phone because there could be other dangers ot be aware of.

9-03-2010 @ 3:34PM

Amanda said...

I am also thirteen, and also have a cell phone. I have one because I go to a school really far away from my house, and the traffic makes it seem even farther. My father works on the other side of the world, and my mom is already busy taking care of three children. Don't generalize children with cell phones -- I have a cell phone, I have unlimited texting, I text maybe 3 times a week. I only use the cell phone to call my mom, my brothers, and maybe only receive a call from a friend once a month, when there are no special occasions. I have no restrictions, but I've been raised and taught in a way that just doesn't make me rely so much a cell phone. I don't think people should automatically lay the blame on cell phones. In my school, nobody texts during class. If I use my phone in class, which yes, I have done, it's been to text my mom or call her during break, which, while not allowed, I don't think is that bad. Maybe I'm babbling, but I simply don't want people to assume that all children are addicted to their cell phones simply because they have them.

rachel said...

i think 12 and older should have them because they are going in to middle school or high school

9-03-2010 @ 4:06PM

Jack said...

I Think That a lot of you are being to conservative. Open your eyes the world has changed since you were kids. I Think it is necessary for Kids to Have cellphones. @stevie85716 Do you want kids to hate their parents, following them everywhere. @Donna What are you talking about phones have turned kids into liars, are you kidding me don't try to insinuate that phones turn good kids into bad kids. Kids lieing is not a result of them having phones its a result of bad parenting. same goes for sexting if they where brought up correctly they wouldn't be doing it. not every kid sexts. If you are worried that your kid might do that then you are basically admitting you don't think you raised your kid to the best of your abilities. Most of you disgust me talking about going though your kids texts and personal conversations. I feel that unless you child gives you a reason for you to mistrust them you shouldn't invade their privacy and if you are going to go through their stuff you should tell them that you are doing so. ... FYI you can block features like picture messaging on phones so if that's what your worried about its an easy fix.

9-04-2010 @ 10:51AM

Ashley said...

I am only 19 and so i can remember when i was elementary school children having cell phones. My mother did not get me one until i was in 8th grade, and was about to go into high school. I felt left out to a point. But looking back I feel that it was better for me. To this day I still don't depend on it as much as my friends do. My boyfriend was raised the same and he finally got one last year. He only turns it on for emergency's. I hate that parents are saying they feel safer having there children have them. When i was in grade school I was never anywhere with out my parents or a guardian. I feel uncomfortable that a 13 or 14 year old can go to the mall by themselves, let alone walk to school. I feel very strongly that children should not have cell phones and if you feel that your child needs one to feel safe, then maybe you should think about where your children are going and who they are hanging out with.

9-03-2010 @ 3:35PM

Frank said...

...and thus here is another example of how Information Systems Technology has quickly outpaced the latent and risk adverse nature of old people - who often have the last word...

sds said...

Just because people have a cell phone doesn't mean they text as much as is in the article. My daughter has a phone, which is off during school hours, and she uses it mostly to text me, and communicate with friends on weekends so they can get together. The only real difference when I was a kid about 30 years ago is that we had to search for a phone to use, and talked on the phone at home a lot. This way, they are text messaging, so they are in effect, writing (Oh horrors!)

9-03-2010 @ 3:36PM

kim grey said...

I have 6 kids. Three are special needs. I gave my 12 year old and my 10 year phones so that I could keep in touch with them in case their friends don't answer when they are there or if they need to come home early from school, practice, etc. Many times I can't pick them up and they need to know that.It takes a village to raise a kid but there are times when a villager is not present then what do you do? I gave my kids phones that you can't text on and they have a limit as to how many minutes they can use. You don;t want your kids texting then don't buy them a phone that can!!!!

9-03-2010 @ 3:38PM

liguy said...

If they are old enough to pay for the phone themselves, then they can have one, BUT with parental controls. I honestly don't see the need for a child under the age of 12 to have a phone. Any child under the age of 18 with a phone should be constantly monitored by parents. Oh, by the way, PUT DOWN THE PHONE AND DRIVE!!!!

9-03-2010 @ 3:39PM

John F.C. Taylor said...

Unnecessary? Probably. But wouldn't you rather they have them than maybe face the brutality of someone kidnapping them? Or worse? A situation where having a cell phone might save them?

9-03-2010 @ 3:44PM

Dancerctry said...

If Kyron Horman had a cell phone he would have been found by now or the phone would help the police find the killer. Kidnapping and abudction and other horrendous things are more common now and so the cellphone can make a difference.

Like all things if handled properly the cell phone is a good thing for kids the problem is teaching them what's ok and what isn't. Teens need to be told about the dangers of sexting or really anything that is a stupid move in any technological form words and pictures are forever in cell phones and online and that picture in your underwear on facebook from age 15 might mean job search trouble at 25. They think they are invisible at that age and just because these aren't immediate consequences doesn't mean they won't harm their future. Monitoring is necessary overmonitoring isn't but if they don't have their own phone they are also likely to use a friend's.

9-03-2010 @ 3:48PM

sammy jo said...

Sorry, Cell phones are useful, but not toys. Our son did not get one until he was 16. He did not get a drivers permit until he was almost out of high school. If he couldn't get his homework done and handed in on time, I felt he was not responsible enough to be given PRIVELEGES. Our children are given too many things as a "given" when they should have been treated as a "extra".

9-03-2010 @ 3:57PM

deejay said...

You can request that phones can not send and receive texts. I know I had it on mine for a while. I think that is a good ideafor kids today. It would cut out a lot of rif raf and maybe encourage the art of communication. That will go far when they get out in the real world. I also do not have access to FAcebook, the web etc on my phone but since my phone is so Old I do not have GPS. My two kids and I have one plan with minimum minutes. we never even come close to useing all the minutes. Since my kids are now out on there own and pay their portion og the bill they have imlimited Texts...college kids send a quick message that way and not need in making them freeks when they have school activities if they pay the bill they can have all the bells and whistles but they had to work up to that. They had cells so I could contact them when they no longer had a father to contact. I did not get one till later, and I must say I prefer the clarity of the land lines. if you ae talking gto a person with even a small accent, it is really hard to understand them ....even with the totally charged phone and at various volume settings. so the Questionis is 12 too young...yes butyou can start the learning/trust process there with a prepaid call plan and much talk before they get that. Let them Earn privledges. I think pre-cologe schools should have a "no cell phones during school hours' rule.

9-03-2010 @ 3:52PM

kempp62 said...

They are to young to have cell phones. they barely just got over learning how to go to the bathroom them selves. The younger they have all this technology then younger other things will start, example- drug, sex, and drinking.

9-03-2010 @ 3:55PM

ladyshooter said...

Children should have cell phones. There are so many perverts and sick tickets out there they need to protect themselves somehow. My sons have cell phones with NO texting and they know the rules about using them. There are NO pay phones anymore and a lot of people out there just dont want to get involved with anything they see or hear. When I was young my mother told me to yell "FIRE" in case of emergency because the truth of the matter is more people are likely to call 911 and report a fire instead of trying to stop an abduction because the abductor my have a gun or knife. So to the parents that give cell phones to their kids KUDOS to you.

9-03-2010 @ 6:31PM

chyide said...

People need to keep their noses out of other parent's business. If a parent wants to give their child a cell phone it doesn't affect you at all so grow up and mind your own business.

You can choose whether or not you want to give your own child a phone, that's fine. But stay out of pretending you know what's best for other people and their children.

9-03-2010 @ 3:58PM

Enfreakay87 said...

This is a subject that is totally silly. Kids didn't need cell phones in the past, they don't need them now.

9-03-2010 @ 4:01PM

Alethia said...

Our kids did get cell phones until they were in junior high .They got the phones becasue half the time the "new" phone system in their school didn't work and they stayed after school for sports , etc.

9-03-2010 @ 4:02PM

Duermo said...

My son goes to a private catholic school. On Wednesday. Three days into the school year. I went to pick my son up to find that his school had "lost" him. They mistakenly put my FIVE year old onto the bus. They archdiocese had given the bus company ONE phone number to a freaking voice recording and nobody at the school even knew the name of the bus company let alone a contact number. If I'd have allowed my son to carry his "migo" cell phone I wouldn't have been filing a police report and had visions of milk cartons for the WORST two hours of my life. (It dials FOUR pre-programmed numbers plus one emergency # and has no texting capability..) He will never leave the house without a cell phone ever again. Crap happens. Be prepared.

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