Mother Raising Her Own Voice Over Restaurant's Ban on Screaming Kids

While there are several ignorant comments, POV's is the shortest and sums up the ignorance quite nicely. This parent brought their autistic child to a public restaurant. The child had a problem because the child is autistic, not because the parent has failed. It would be a wonderful world if there were no children who had problems.

As for this idiot who said that the parent should stay home...why don't you stay home? If you cannot cope with a wide variety of people, then it is YOUR problem.

This reminds me of the time I took my son in his wheelchair to a restaurant and was denied service because 1) the chair took up too much space and 2) it posed a fire hazard by blocking the aisle.

The restaurant is now closed. They could not afford the suit.

The entire restaurant industry has been highly resistant to implementing the Americans With Disabilities Act. Lawsuits are the only way to make them accountable for their actions.

@POV
EXCELLENT POINT!
I am the mother of a child w/autism. Just because he has autism does not mean that others should experience his "melt-downs". That is just silly and would be very selfish and egotistical of me to expect. Why should other people have their meals ruined just because I happen to have a child w/a disability. We TEACH our son. Individuals w/ALL levels of autism CAN LEARN! And they can also manipulate. They are NOT stupid. In fact, I have to wonder if Kelly the mother in this story is NOT listening to her son? Maybe he doesn't even WANT to go to a restaurant? Why force him? Maybe the lights, sounds, smells etc set him off? This would be typical for a child w/autism. In fact, by FORCING him to stay in the restaurant she could even be victimizing her own child??? He has a disability right? He has autism right? So just MAYBE she is causing him PAIN by forcing him to stay in a restaurant while he screams??? Wonder if she ever thought about that. I looked at her profile and it made me sad. I could tell instantly it wasn't even about her son...it was about her need for attention. She wants to complain about something. She wants society to NOTICE she has a child w/autism. Well...sadly society doesn't want to experience his scream...and maybe his screams are directed at her to get him the heck out of a restuarant that he may not even be able to handle. Maybe we need to look at this story in a new light???

'The rest of us' have to learn how to deal with the world as it is, not as we want it to be.

You assume that the parent was doing nothing. Obviously, you have lived in a cave all of your life and have never seen the extra effort parents of special children make to be able to have as near normal a life as possible.

I have to ask...just how is a child supposed to learn how to behave in any given situation, if they are not allowed to be IN that situation to begin with?

My husband and I have been taking our daughter out in public places with us (restaurants included,) since the day we brought her home from the hospital. Guess what? She is 3 years old now, and more or less knows how to act in those places because she is used to being in them. True, she has her moments like any kid does, but we don't ignore her if she acts up. We remove her from the situation until she stops doing whatever it is that she's not supposed to be doing, or else we leave. Wouldn't you agree that this seems like a more sensible way to handle the issue than a blanket ban on all children under a certain age?

And for the record...I personally know several adults who behave much worse in public than most children I've encountered. Do you have any suggestions for a screening process that will allow restaurants and other public places to weed them out and ban them, too?

When my children were little I would totally stress out if they "misbehaved" in a restaurant. Your child's behavior is typical for his diagnosis. I don't think anyone would begrudge the family of an autistic child the pleasure of a night out at a restaurant. However, if you KNOW that your child will have outbursts, why would you ever expect other people to be comfortable or even sympathetic to that? As another person said, there are other places to go that do not display this sign. Go there!!!!! My mother always said that "Your rights begin where others end". I have a right to expect to go to a restaurant and not hear screaming children. I challenge you to be sensitive to those people who are at a restaurant to have a meal and enjoy some semblence of quiet and order.

couldn't have said it better Julie, I give you all the credit in the world for all you do

Don't forget all the fowl words that are dropped everywhere and anywhere. That is a sign that is needed No Cussing.

This is for Gayle. Since it is a restaurant, I would prefer to see a sign that says "No Burping or Belching". Much, much more relevant.

As Godmother to an autistic child, I understand the challenges that her parents face, and sometimes she acts up in a restaurant. When she does, either her father or mother remove her from the area and deal with her elsewhere, be it the bathroom, the parking lot, or the sidewalk. The issue isn't autism; the issue is that a screaming child is disrupting the meals of other patrons.

If you are 'advocating' for your autistic child, shouldn't you want them to be treated the same way as other children? If a non-autistic child were throwing a tantrum, that child should be taken outside. Why does an autistic child get a pass on this? The difference it that, as a parent of a child with autism, your job is more difficult and you may have to make that trek outside more often than other parents. Your child's autism isn't an excuse for poor parenting or for abdicating the responsibility that comes with having a child.

No one said that children wouldn't be allowed in the restaurant. The owner simply stated that she expected parents to ACT like parents and take a screaming, unruly child outside until they were quiet. That sounds to me not only perfectly reasonable, but exactly what parents should do anyway.

Julie,

What you do (removing your child to the bathroom or car) is exactly what should be done, and the restaurant is okay with that. Notice that the manager said: "Armes tells WCET no one will be kicked out of the restaurant. Parents will just be asked to step outside until their child quits screaming."

That is what my parents did with us, and what all parents regardless of on the Spectrum or not, should do if their kids act up.

I am sure if a customer is being disruptive, they have been asked to change their behavior or leave, particularly if complaints are lodged. I've been witness to it on several occasions at various restaurants. However, there is a big difference between adults and children. Adults are supposed to be responsible for their own actions, whereas with children, the majority of the responsibility lies on the parents. You can't tell a baby to stop screaming and expect it to perform the logical thought process and go 'If I don't stop, we're going to be asked to leave'. Whereas, you should expect the parents to understand that.

I don't think it's unfair, and I really think that this lady is making a mountain out of a molehill. This has nothing to DO with autism. Yes, it is unfortunate that she has to deal with the everyday issues that come along with autism, and I am sorry that that means she cannot go eat at this restaurant. However, when you are the parent of an autistic child, you accept certain facts and responsibilities that go along with that. As someone who ISN'T the parent of an autistic child, it is NOT my responsibility to handle when her child has an episode. I consider myself a very tolerant person, but tolerance can only go so far when it cuts in on my personal comfort. And of course, that sounds much more callous than I mean it to be, but the fact still remains. It is the parent's responsibility to control the child. If the child cannot BE controlled, due to things such as autism or Turret's, then there are alternatives. Like NOT going to a restaurant with a ban on screaming children if you KNOW this is something you child will be prone to do.

Common sense.