Mother Raising Her Own Voice Over Restaurant's Ban on Screaming Kids

In our public schools, special needs children, such as your son, receive special accommodations tailored to their needs. However, special accommodations must take into consideration the other children in that classroom. The special needs students are not allowed to disrupt the learning atmosphere for other students just because the can't help themselves. If the child cannot function in the regular classroom or is disruptive to other students, the student is removed from the regular classroom and their placement is changed to a more suitable setting, may it be a special ed classroom within the district or an out of district placement in a special school. Are these children being discriminated against because they are not allowed to remain within the regular classroom? Should other students have to tolerate the distraction of disruptive behavior because these special needs children cannot help themselves? The answer to both questions is NO! Shouldn't the same principles pertain to the world outside of school? ABSOLUTELY! Just like your child's school district does, take into consideration your child's needs and what is the best setting for him based upon his disability. At the same time, take into consideration the needs and feelings of other people. The world does not revolve around just you and your son.

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I am so tired of parents who impose their screaming children on other people. We took our children everywhere with us, restaurants, as well as when we traveled. I never had a problem with them screaming or running around. I would talk to them and explain where we were going and what was expected of them in that environment. Many times we would have people stop by our table on their way out complimenting our children's behaviour. On a flight coming back from Europe, I had a mother with two children across the isle. An older child who was bored and a screaming child that she was not able to satisfy. Needless to say, I had a splitting headache all the way. All restaurants have carry out. If parents can't control their children, they can pick up a carry out and eat at home and let the rest of us eat in peace.

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Maybe all restaurants should have bans. Some people would like to go to a place to eat and have no disabled people there at all. And some people would like to have only a specific race allowed in. Some don't want to see gays and lesbians or certain religious groups. And some people don't think women should be allowed out of the house so they wouldn't want to eat in a place where they were served. Some don't want to see breastfeeding women in public places. Some people don't like looking at fat people and ugly people or stupid people. Let's put bans on everything that might offend or disrupt someone else. Or just segregate everyone into their own little groups. I for one hate cell phones, dogs, and cigarettes o I would want a place that banned everyone with a cell phone and who smelled like smoke and dog. Also lets ban loose, baggy pants, hip hugging pants, and butt crack.

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OH Kelly , I APPLAUD YOU! If you have not been given the task in raising a child with autism then you have NO idea. We are aware that the sign doesn't say anything about autism but if you do your research then you'll know why this is such a sensitive topic for parents of children with autism. It is ABSOLUTELY NOT that we can't control our kids. They have special needs and to say that we should keep our children home is ridiculous and impractical.

Frankly, it is discrimination. The truth is that we don't want our kids to act up in public & we'll do almost anything to diffuse the situation. Children with autism are quite unpredictable and because of sensory issues any little thing that may be quite minor to us could be a big deal to them. Thus, resulting in a sensory overload & a meltdown. We're NOT going to keep our kids caged
up in the house like animals or shelter them away from the world just because you're the stupid ones.

What ever happened to tolerance and compassion? I'd really like to know how my child having a meltdown is affecting you anyways. It's not. You can choose to ignore it. Have we become that selfish and sensitive of a people that something such as a five minute meltdown OF A CHILD is so offensive to us? Really? We aren't asking for any special treatment or anything above and beyond what a typical customer would receive. However, we are asking for understanding.. understanding that perhaps if our children do have a meltdown in public that we aren't treated like second class citizens.

AGAIN KELLY, I GIVE YOU ALL MY PRAISE. (and yes I am shouting)!!!

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I love your comment....especially "Let's put bans on everything that might offend or disrupt someone else." Good point you've made there :)

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When I am shelling out hard earned money on a meal, I sure as hell expect to be able to eat it in peace. I have 3 kids of my own, if I want to listen to screaming I will stay home. If your kid cannot control himself then stay home and order food to be delivered. When you get a break from your kids do you want to sit in a restaurant and listen to someone else's kid scream? Yea didn't think so.

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Hey BitchyWaiter..I'm leaving you a TIP..get a better job if you don't like it.

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If you choose to take your child to an establishment that does not tolerate screaming children then be expected to be asked to leave when your child starts. This has nothing to do with compassion for the plight of your child. It has to do with you making a bad decision by taking your child, which you know may scream, into a situation that makes you and others uncomfortable. I have certain bad reactions to seafood which were not my choice. Do you see me going to seafood places saying they are discriminating against me? I choose to go elsewhere. Choice is a wonderful thing.

As far as educating me and others.. I do not have a child with autism and do not need to be educated. I don't care if the child has autism, down syndrome, or some other special needs disability. That is your life, it does not affect me. But if you start this crusade where people are forced to tolerate certain behavior, where does it end? At that point you have forced your lifestyle and beliefs upon me and I do not appreciate it or condone it. Get a grip on your own reality, and responsibilities as an adult in society.

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Dear lady involved,

My girlfriend read this article and the comments to me, and frankly I am disgusted with your attitude, which is something that RARELY happens.
So allow me to say; I have autism. Always have. Since I was a young boy, I've known I have and I have gotten past it and now operate as a regular, calm and functioning member of society. Why was I able to? Because no one hid it from me. No one tried to tell the rest of the world, " Hey, don't make him feel like he's different!". I wasn't treated differently, and as such realized my problems and adapted to them. You seem to want to take this opportunity away from your child, though.

Aside from that, I'll support the point that you've taken an understandable policy, or rather taken a choice by a public provider who has no obligation to you other than to be up to the health code, and made it personal to see it as being about you and your family. So how about this; let's put an age restriction, instead. So no kids can eat there. Would that solve your problem? Is that general enough, or does that still somehow offend you? And upon doing that, congrats; you've taken this privilege(and it IS a privilege to eat out rather than cook for yourself) away from a wider array of children, and as such families in general. The policy is fair, it's general, and by the way you CAN teach an autistic child. Please refer to paragraph one if you want to argue that, but please go ahead and tell me your child is "too autistic", in which case they should NOT be able to function outside the home and you should invest in the idea of take-out from now on, or cooking for yourself.

And that is my two cents. I won't debate it with you, or argue with you about it. These are not points of argument, they are FACTS. Things I've lived personally and know for a definite. Have fun being overturned by the powers that be, if you do chose to pursue legal action.

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im sorry but this woman is an idiot
i have twins girls who are 2 years of age..
i do not take them to resturants because when they scream and throw a tantrum.. it not only stresses me.. but i dont think other people who have gone for a night out shout have to be stressed or annoyed about it
and when i pay for a babysitter to go out for a meal with my husband
i do not want to go to a resturant and hear kids screaming!!!!!
i want some peace to talk to my husband.
i am not at all offended by that sign
neither should you be
it is saying 'no screaming children'
not' we will tolerate screaming children unless they are autistic'
you are being pathetic!
there are a million resturants out there
go find a child friendly one like all the other parents in the world have to
you do not deserve special treatment just because your child has autism
no more than i deserve it for having twin toddlers.

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I am a proud parent of two kids on the spectrum. I am putting in my 2 cents...My son was diagnosed with ADHD/Speech and Language delayed when he was 3.. no one could figure out why he held his ears, screamed,had melt downs , ran away from the playground, hid under desks..then I read the book the out of sync child, did research and then knew he had sensory issues, started and continued OT until he was 10. Wow... life became less of a crap shoot...I could predict what would set him off because I knew what was wrong.I remember feeling like I had a cure, an answer to what was wrong with my beautiful baby boy. I learned alot, studied his behavior, every move he made, and soon I understood( with help from his OT) what made him tick. I did use behavior mod as well because guess what? He needed it. The end result was I could take him into small, quiet places to eat because it was calm and not over stimulating, he didnt run away because he was over whelmed because I made sure he was not put in that situation.
( he has auditory sensory issues). When my daughter came along and was diagnosed with full blown Autism....I had it down.Husband left and have raised them on my own since! They are both fine now, daughter still has meltdowns, but meds and lots of experience makes life ok! Never, ever would I expect someone else to listen to my child having a meltdown while eating. May God bless you on this journey...Please Find his triggers, make him your cause and fight for him every day but know that folks arent judging him or you they just want a peaceful meal.

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Actually Julie.. you are posting the ignorant post... my friend has an autistic child... I was raised doing charity work with slow learners and challenged children. But the consensus is teach your child to behave... if your child has social difficulties.. then dont subject your child to an environment where many adults frequent....

You Julie have a great deal to learn. I have worked with many a challenged child... and they are not stupid.. they understand manners.. and can be taught many many things.

My friend, out of courtesy to the public, does not drag her child into restaurants to exhibit the child... and.. when he acts up.. she quietly removes herself and the child and works on modifying his behavior.

I got news for you Julie.. if your child is sitting next to me and starts throwing food and you merely sit there as an adult not willing to accept responsiblity for your child... and do nothing...then the onus is on you for bad parenting.

you act as if an autistic child can not learn. To the contrary, they can.
Perhaps you have a limited view on what an autistic child can do and how they can learn and also how they can learn to socially adjust.

I think it ludicrus that so many people sue establishments because they are self indulgent and feel the world should be at their beck and call regardless if you infringe on the rights of others. You should think about your own social responsiblity and stop feeling the world and society owes you something. You as an adult should learn to adjust and be responsible and not impose on the rest of society just becuase you feel you have your own burden to address.

And Mz Chambliss, it is obvious that you feel society owes you something because you are defensive. It is you who are threatening to sue a restaurant owner, you who feel that we should all gratiously accept your lack of responsiblity if your child acts out.
As an adult, I understand autism and autistic behavior. Oviously Julie posts things defensively as well, and quite ignorantly ...
if you choose to sue the restaurant becuase you feel you cannot dine there... and not take responsiblity for your child... that is also acting on ignorance. We have a society that now feels no responsibility for their children nor themselves... and sues everyone because they are embittered or something. Autism is your life; it does not have to be everyone elses.

Look into the wonderful things Autistic people achieve. You are limiting the growth of your own child, and yourself, by threatening to sue everyone and every business becauase it is not to your liking.

The rest of the world is not going to stop for you or any one else....

Watch the movie starring Claire Danes.. about the achievements autistic people can reach... you will learn something important.

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Sorry, that movie is Temple Grandin...

a stunning achievement by an Autistic woman who went on to modify cattle slaughter houses.

Equally important is the society she belongs to and all the high achieving autistic members.

and, by the way, Julie, I happen to date a man with OCD. So, for all your contempt that you feel that society just does not understand you, think again before you go spouting your mouth off.

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These comments are for FREE THINKER: It is extremely elitist and rude of you to assume that people are IGNORANT about Autism and other special needs. One of my children is also special needs. Autism manifests itself in many different and often unexpected behaviors. BECAUSE of its unpredicability, the parent should be prepared to adapt and deal at a moment's notice ... even if that means removing the child. Often, that is the ONLY way to halt an episode.

Lashing out a private business owners who don't CATER to your personal needs is not only childish, but ignorant. A lawsuit merely highlights how much control you have let go of in your own life. Do not frequent businesses who have policies with which you do not agree. This does not constitute ADA non-compliance. That autistic child has every right to sit in a restaurant and have a meal with his mother, as do you; however, ANYONE behaving inappropriately, for whatever reason, should, at least temporarily, be removed to calm down. This is only reasonable.

As the parents of special needs children, we are granted by the Constitution and the ADA the SAME rights and access as others, not MORE rights! We demand as a nation to be treated equally - we must deal with the hands that we are dealt. It is ridiculous and unrealistic to expect the entire population to make an exception for your child ... that's like saying he should not be held responsible for a serious crime because, unlike others who do the same thing, he did not understand ... really? Whether or not he fully comprehends, he still committed the offense, and is capable of doing it again, if not prevented. Autism is an additional challenge in your daily life ... however, in today's society, you cannot demand that everyone else be extra considerate of you and your child (although I work with autistic and other special needs children everyday; but I do not presume to know what your struggles are). Overstimulation is a key stressor for sufferers of moderate to severe autism. I would think that you would want to AVOID that.

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