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Mother Raising Her Own Voice Over Restaurant's Ban on Screaming Kids
Filed under: In The News, Special Needs
Many autistic children scream. It's what they do.
Forbidding an autistic child to scream can be like requiring a paraplegic person to dance the Charleston, so Kelly Chambliss, the mother of an autistic son, claims a restaurant's policy against screaming children is blatant discrimination and a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.
The words on the door of Olde Salty's in Carolina Beach, N.C. read: "Screaming children will not be tolerated."
Chambliss tells the ABC affiliate in Wilmington, N.C., that she and the restaurant's manager had words of their own on the subject three weeks ago. Apparently, the conversation didn't go well.
Manager Brenda Armes tells WCET Chambliss accused her of singling out autistic children.
"And I said, 'Autism is not a word on that sign, ma'am'," Armes tells the station.For her part, Chambliss tells the station Armes made it very clear certain people were not welcome at the restaurant.
"She looked at me and said, 'I cannot believe you even take him in public. You must be the only one that does'," Chambliss tells WCET.
Chambliss tells the station she believes the restaurant's sign is illegal. However, she didn't say whether or not she was considering legal action.
"I really think she needs to meet some of these kids, and I think she needs to see that they are awesome," Chambliss adds. "Please don't shut them out because they don't fit in the perfect box everyone wants them in."
Armes tells WCET no one will be kicked out of the restaurant. Parents will just be asked to step outside until their child quits screaming.
Related: 10 Common Autism Myths









ReaderComments (Page 5 of 6)
9-11-2010 @ 12:07AM
Maverick said...Kelly...I am also the mother of an autistic son...but I firmly disagree w/your stance which is my privilege. We use social stories, "mock restaurant experiences, and many other varied autism therapies which WORK! If your son cannot conduct himself appropriately in a restaurant he should not go in. Children w/autism can also be manipulative. If you are not firm w/them consistently they will control you. It is also not societies job to listen to your son in public. Sorry to be so blunt, but I can be since I also have a child w/autism. When our son could not conduct himself appropriately in a restaurant we left. If we wanted to go to a restaurant we hired RESPITE services. If he was doing a good job staying quiet in the restaurant we STAYED! Common sense Kelly. It's time to realize that you can't use your son's autism as an excuse to punish other people. Enjoy his strengths and gifts...and if he doesn't do well in a restaurant...well maybe it's not the best place for him? Maybe he doesn't even WANT to be there??? So why are you forcing others to experience his melt downs? Just silly and disrespectful to other patrons.
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9-11-2010 @ 12:11AM
Maverick said...Love the Out of Sync Child! Good comments! :0)
I also have a child w/autism and I would remove him from the restaurant.
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9-11-2010 @ 12:44AM
Maverick said...@TomG...sadly your are COMPLETELY WRONG! You can very much TEACH a child w/autism...and it is all about behavior!
We have a child w/autism. "They" said he had the most severe form of autistm...Kanner's Syndrome. We wrote grants...and hired behavior/educational therapists. So now the child that "they" the "medical establishment" told us would need to be institutionalized, would never toilet on his own, would never speak is now part of the gifted program in a public school w/no aide. SUCCESS!!! We FOUGHT for him...we TAUGHT him, and we PARENTED our autistic son! We did what was required to help him be part of society as much as he can tolerate. So...now he can go to restaurants! When he is over stimulated he knows how to communicate this to us, so we can leave w/out a melt down. This is possible w/all autistic individuals. They can ALL be taught. Yes, they will succeed at different levels...but they can all be TAUGHT appropriate behaviors! Repetition and LOVE is the key to make it work.
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9-11-2010 @ 2:36AM
Pamela Schultz said...My daughter works with children with psychological disabilites. Her job is to take the kids out one on one with counselors. First they go to a fast food restaurant, then as they become higher functioning, they may be taken to a nice restaurant as a reward.
I suggest starting at McDonalds then when he progresses, take him to another place, etc. So get busy mom.
It's not fair for 50 people paying good money and just trying to have a relaxing night with their family or friends to have their evening ruined because of one person.
I know that in this economy, I can look forward to going out once or twice a year. I'd have to leave, which isn't fair to the owners and especially the wait staff who depend on tips. Work with him until he's civil, it's something he needs to know.
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9-12-2010 @ 2:39AM
Kathy said...For those of you supporting Ms. Chambliss, I have started a Facebook page to boycott those restaurants and businesses that boycott us. Search up EAT THE BABIES.
They may have the right to refuse service to us, but we have the power because we have the money. The more voices that unite, the more money they lose.
Search Facebook - Eat the Babies
Certainly, the manifesto is intended to be satiric, but the purpose is not.
For further reference, google Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal."
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9-18-2010 @ 11:42PM
jason w. said...@Kathy - You state that "They may have the right to refuse service to us, but we have the power because we have the money. The more voices that unite, the more money they lose"
You could not be more wrong and your position only indicates your attitude of entitlement.
I work in a restaurant that prohibits ALL kids under the age of 14. For every one parent that dislikes the policy we have 10 people who agree with us that spend more money than you do. We even get friends of the "angry parents" that come in and dine with us once they become aware of our fantastic policy.
We lose no money over this policy and in fact our business could not be better. People know that they can come in to our restaurant and NEVER be bothered by unruly children. Instead of having to serve a family with kids who expect a child's menu I get to serve business men who drink expensive wine. Both myself and the restaurant make more money by prohibiting kids.
And furthermore, why exactly do you think your more important or have more rights because you are a parent? Society is more than just families and just because you choose to breed does not make you more important.
And its not a matter of us "non parents" thinking we know better. Nor is it a matter of lack of respect. Parents can earn my respect by controlling their children or not bringing them in public. Children should be seen and not heard.
So go ahead and boycott all of the restaurants you want. Your probably not welcome anyway and you definitely are not hurting our pocket book.
9-12-2010 @ 2:40AM
Kathy said...A few more thoughts:
I certainly understand that businesses that are privately owned have a right to refuse service to anyone they choose. I also am all for teaching your child to behave well in public (again, I grew up in a restaurant and understand etiquette, as does my three year old daughter).
However, that being said, I also think that these bans - against children, against breastfeeding, etc. - are a symbol of the way our culture continues to remove the family from the public sphere. Children are at school while parents are at work (btw, I work, my child goes to school, so I understand the necessity of that aspect); children are frowned upon in malls and airplanes; children frowned upon when they act their age (like oh, say, cry because they hurt themselves). Since when did it become a crime to be a child or to have children? Why are we giving each other guilt trips for giving birth or having bad days or just not knowing what to do? What happened to our sense of humanity?
I also have major problems with the wording of the signs - "NO SCREAMING CHILDREN ALLOWED!" If we screamed at our own children like this, we would be treated with tantrums. If the business wants to create a civilized and polite set of guidelines for behavior, then I'm all for it. Quiet, calm guidelines and quiet, calm discussion - it's how I rule my household. But the level of immaturity that goes into these various bans and signs - it's just all quite ironic to me... thus, the ironic manifesto posted on the facebook page.
Simply put, I have problems with people who think they know better because they don't have children and who are unwilling to respect the very difficult job of parenting. I think that if parents don't speak out against such bans (even ironically), then we're allowing our American culture to degrade the very important experience that is parenting.
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9-12-2010 @ 1:22PM
Jessica said...Did anyone actually read this article???
She specifically said she wasn't considering legal action. All you people making assumptions make me sick. Get over yourselves and learn some common courtesy!!!!!
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7-13-2011 @ 2:08AM
Kim said...Reading comprehension not your thing? The article actually states Chambliss didn't say whether she was planning legal action.
9-12-2010 @ 10:56PM
GOURMETMAR said...It is unfortunate that the child is a special needs individual. The bottom line, however, is that others also have a right to eat their meals in relative peace and quiet! If a special needs kid is stimming or acting out in any manner....change the venue for that child...DO NOT SUBJECT THE GENERAL PUBLIC TO THIS BEHAVIOR. These parents need to display plain old common sense!!
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9-12-2010 @ 11:45PM
Lori said...Excellent Point! To Mavericks comment. What you said is very intelligent and interesting to me. You explained it in terms that most people, who know how to read, would understand. I have learned a great deal about autism in my college classes. I think you have made the most sense out of all the comments I have read.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Thank You!
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9-13-2010 @ 8:36AM
Laura said...A lot of you are missing the point completely, this mother's complaint is about the fact that the restaurant owner told her that her autistic son would not be welcome to eat there. That is discrimination! I cannot believe how ignorant and intolerant some of you people are, autism is a disorder, not something that can be punished out of a child! There is a difference between a typical child who is misbehaving and an autistic child who has an outburst because something frightens or startles them. I completely support Kelly and believe in what she is fighting for. Thank you Kelly for fighting for our children!
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10-10-2010 @ 12:37AM
ej said...So let me see if I am understanding the majority opinion of those posting in response to this article. People with children should not be allowed to take their children anywhere in public (other than Chuck-E-Cheese) at the risk that other people without children may be inconvenienced by their presence. Furthermore, people with children with disabilities are obviously failing as parents and should definetly not take their children anywhere, so as not to upset the fine, upstanding citizens of this country as yourselves. WOW!
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10-24-2010 @ 12:20AM
Candice said...I have a 3yr olg lil girl with autism and I was dine in at a Golden Corral Buffet with my family after being there for some time I was ask to leave because of my child yelling They dont have a signed and I had argment with another customer because she was yelling. Then the qwner ask me to let him know when I come in agin when someone talk about my child and the nosie she make so he can let the other customer Know.I have the right to eat in if i want with out any know my child has a disability. I SHOULD NOT BE ASK T LEAVE
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7-13-2011 @ 7:31AM
Ivona said...@Laura: The restaurant owner placed a sign on the window regarding the restaurant's policy on screaming children. Nobody told the woman that her autistic son will be banned. Too many people jump to conclusions and too many people confuse having a normal accomodation for a disability (e.g., ramps, railings, higher bathroom commodes in public restrooms, designated parking spaces) with placing unreasonable requests and expecting everyone to oblige.
7-14-2011 @ 2:08PM
sandra said...YES !! You should be asked to leave. It is your responsibility to educate your child on how to act in public. If you refuse to educate her, someone should inform you how to do it properly. It is a business owners right to ask someone to leave their property. This business owner/manager was correct in removing the disruption, so that peaceful business practices could continue.
5-25-2011 @ 6:32PM
Lisa said...My grandson has autism spectrum disorder, but is only 3 years old. If he gets to the point where he screams and can't be controlled then we will not be going to restaraunts and disturbing people who wish to have a relaxing dining experience. I would not want to have a screaming child interrupting my dining out experiences. Take the child out to eat to establishments that don't mind or to McDs playland. I have had 6 children and have 8 grandchildren. If any of the grandchildren screamed and threw tantrums we would leave as well. Stop focusing on yourself and using the autism as an excuse for your rudeness. Plain and simple - love your child, but don't expect others to.
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5-30-2011 @ 2:39AM
Dee said...TO ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY ABOUT THE CHILD WITH AUTISM, YOU ARE HYPOCRITS AND DISCRIMINATING! THESE KIDS CAN'T CONTROL THEIR BEHAVIOR, AND WHY SHOULD A PARENT(S) GO TO ANOTHER FOOD ESTABLISHMENT JUST BECAUSE THEIR CHILD SCREAMS! ONE THING IS FOR SURE, THESE KIDS HAVE MORE LOVE IN THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS THAN THE AVERAGE SO-CALLED "NORMAL" PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELVES!
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6-15-2011 @ 8:12PM
jbirmingham2002 said...It seems to me like this mother was just looking to cause problems. Why take a child with a disability that causes he/she to scream uncontrollably to a place that clearly states no screaming children allowed? Looking for a lawsuit maybe? Yes, this is America, but that also means that restaurants can deny service to whoever they please, eg, no shoes no service, dress code required, etc. From what I gather it was no screaming chidren. Period. They weren't signalling out children with disabilities and those of you who keep using that argument know that!
By the way, I don't dislike children I just REALLY dislike inconsiderate parents and apparently, those abound!
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6-30-2011 @ 7:47PM
jjjj said...You people all deserve each other. What a pack of heartless cynical beasts. See you all in hell.
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