Opinion: There Is No Such Thing As Birth Rape

I was raped as a child. When I became pregnant, I informed the obgyn practice of what had happened and asked that it be noted in my file. I had no choice in doctors, it was a large group and the only one that accepted my insurance. I was open to any and all procedures to deliver a healthy baby. Most of the doctors were understanding, except one. When asked several questions, she responed " you'll get an epidural and push it out. just like I have 4 times." In a practice of 12 doctors and 4 midwives what were the chances? After 8 hours of heavy labor, the midwife suggested petocin(sp?) and an epidural to help dialate me. I agreed. It didn't work. the dr. on call was the one who I didn't like. She cut me open and said I wasn't pushing hard enough. Tied to stirups, and exposed, I was wheeled from the birthing room to the OR when the baby went into distress. First she shoved both her hands inside and said I'v got his ear. He was face up and stuck on my pelvic bone. I asked that she preform a C section and her reply, " Your insurance doesn't pay what I charge for a C. Shut up and push!" Then the vacumme extractor was pushed up into me. That didn't work. As I heard my babys heart beat slow, a nurse said to save it we have to cut. She sliced me open less than an inch below my navel. My son had the cord wrapped around his neck Twice. They took him out of the room and took 2 hours sewing me up. The vacumme damaged his skull. A year of surgeries before we knew he would live and be normal. To make love to my husband is still painful 12 years after wards. I can't bear the thought of another doctor touching me, so plastic surgery to fix my vagina is out of the question. We can't sue, no one in the OR would testify against the doctor. No it wasn't the same as the rape. That had been a stranger taking advantage of a child. This was a violation of my body by someone the world will never see as the monster she is, and will always be. Life goes on. My son is bright and brings me joy everyday if he had not survived I don't think I would have.

Reply

I had a VERY bad experience the second pregnancy, due to a blood clot in my placenta. I had to be monitored constantly, and I had to be induced six and a half weeks early, because they were worried both me and my son would die. But, you know what? Pregnancy is fragile, and yes, embarrassing, because you have to expose your lady business to god knows how many people.. Labor is PAINFUL. The doctors and nurses do what they have to do to keep both mother and child ALIVE. THANK them for that. If you're so against doctors and medical examinations, get a midwife or set a pool on your front porch and do it yourself with a shot of moonshine. Geesh.

Reply

I can understand that there are a few perverse doctors out there and even insensitive ones. But I can't see how the term "rape" can be identified with childbirth. I am one who had a birth plan for both of my children. My first born was a premie b/c of a hurricane and he survivied after spending several days in NICU. My second born I had several problems. I was hospitalized and we tried enducing birth first. Yes the nurse and doctor had to check me several times but in no way did I ever feel that I was being assaulted. I knew that I was having problems and that I needed to be monitored as well as my baby. When I started having problems with my organs they said that I needed to have a C-section. They did not want to lose me or the baby. So not all births are perfect and not all planning will go the way you want. You do have choices but for me anyway, I wanted what was best for myself and my children. If that means I had to have a c-section and have them constantly checking me well then that is part of becoming a mother to a living, breathing, healthy baby.

Reply

So the doctors are da--ed if they do and da--ed if they don't. Every woman knows that when they give birth the doctor needs to have access to the place the baby comes out. Even when they have papsmears and check their cervix, doctors need access. I find this absurd. A lot of women are going to say stop when they are in pain because lets face it, no one enjoys the agony of pain, well, at least not most women. With my last son, I went through a very long, hard labor. They say the more children you have the easier it gets. Not true for me, just the opposite. My first labor was 5 hours, my last was over 21 hours. It took 5 people to hold me down, including my husband, so the doctor could go up in and physically turn my cervix because it was facing the wrong way. We waited hours hoping it would turn on its own, but it wouldn't. When the cervix is going the wrong way, the baby can't come out. Let me tell you something, that was the worst pain ever, and I mean ever. Would I classify that as rape,.....heck no. The doctor did what was best for me and my baby. My doctor was drained, tired and had no more pleasure doing it either.

Reply

Bottom Line,,,people will do or say anything to file a lawsuit.
I believe that any money "earned" from a lawsuit is not taxed and there are lots of people that make their livings from suing

Reply

When I was pregnant with my now 23 year old, We had toxemia, the last almost 5 months. WE could have died, I had to go to the dr ever other day. So I was checked out 3 times a week.

Had I not gone to the drs I could have lost my child or my life. While in labor I had every machine there was it seems. Even had a monitor that was in the baby while in me. Had there been a need for a C Section I would have done it, Not willing to loose my child.

Never did I feel that was being violated as everything seemed to be a medical necessity. I feel for the women that were raped, and they deserve all the understanding and care that they need.

Trama at birth is not rape, and rape is not trama at birth. Anyone that thinks that they are needs to get over themselves.

Reply

Carla....had a good laugh this morning...thanks! When I read what you wrote....put a pool on your front porch and do it yourself with a hit of moonshine.....lol....that made my day.

Reply

This is probably the sickest thing i have ever heard. probably the saddest example of what America has become today, a bunch of cry baby poor me whine asses who have nothing better to do than accuse some one of "hurting" them...wow who would have thought that child birth would ever be called "rape" don't you idiots read books or listen to your mother's stories of 40 hour labors, it isn't glamorous and it definately doesn't go according to plan. so quit crying about not getting a scene out of a movie, because frankly nothing is like in the movies and you are stupid to think it would be in the first place. so go dry up you poor me tears and spend some time with you kids and thank those doctors for the fact that they got her safely...

Reply

I hate the way the word "rape" is thrown around, as is the word "holocaust" is. It diminishes the pain felt by actual victims. However, I was assaulted by an angry and hateful fertility specialist, many years ago. He was a moody, brilliant man. I went in for an exam, and he shoved is fingers into me so hard, that I recoiled in pain. I, subsequently, developed a urinary tract infection, and called his office for a prescription for antibiotics. He didn't return my calls for two days. It has been over 20 years since this experience, and I still feel violated.

Reply

Liberal logic. Stupid Morons.

Reply

What exactly is the take away message from this article? If you think it's rape, have your chilcren at home if you can find someone to deliver you there. I do however know first hand that Pitocin is almost always used for the convenience of the doctor so he can get to his office of dinner on time. The C-section is another story it is used primarily to prevent law suits. It was originaly thoight it would reduce the rate of cerebral palsy. That is when the c-section rate was 6% today it is near 30% without any reduction in C.P. rate. But as you well know there are whore lawyers advertising on T.V. about birth defects that might have been avoided with c-section including C.P. Therefore the c-section is defensive medicine mostly.

Reply

As a true rape survivor, I am sick of people using the word rape to describe an uncomfortable or unhappy situation. For example: I was raped at the car mechnic's (translation - he charged too much...say that, not rape!)

Those of us who know what rape really is know the difference, and the simple use of the word brings back outrage and terrible memories.

I am also a survivor of ovarian cancer. Did I "like" every time they examined me (including inserting fingers, an ultrasonic probe, etc)? Absolutely not - it brought back terrible memories and I had to fight the horrid experience all over again. But I chose to make the clear distinction between medically necessary procedures and the forceful act of one man choosing to destroy my life. There were times I said No in the medical process and they told me "just a little more." I hated those moments more than you can know, but am grateful because those moments are what saved my life!

Having a baby is a choice. It may not always be an ideal birth, but it is a long, long way from what is medically necessary to what is a forceful criminal act designed to destroy a woman's psyche.

Reply

I had a VERY hard labor and delivery. At one point I thought the doctor was going to have to get out calving chains (ask a farmer) and an SUV to get my daughter unstuck. I felt like a patchwork quilt for days after, and then I had to deal with an idiotic nursing staff who would give my daughter formula before I was able to get down to the NICU to nurse her (reason: It's hard to move quickly when your entrails feel like they could become your extrails at any moment!), and acting like I should bounce right back because I'm not some tiny delicate thing! It all ended well, I have had this wonderful little girl who suffered no lasting effects of her rather rough entrance into this world for almost 10 years now.

I've also had to deal with surviving the trauma of being raped almost 20 years ago. Guess what? The two are not even close! Both were traumatic, both left my genetalia feeling like they'd been mutilated, but here's the difference. Giving birth, even with a bad delivery, is about a million times better. I had a loving husband and family supporting me during labor, delivery, and after, and I gained a wonderful, beautiful child. The rape left me feeling worthless, violated, and alone. I survived, met a wonderful man, and managed to put that jerk's actions behind me.

So to those who are using this new catch phrase, gee, I'm sorry your little fantasy about birth didn't work out to your specifications. Sit down, feel sorry for yourself, but prepare to be slapped if you EVER use that term around me, or any of the women who have survived sexual violence. You are truly selfish and pathetic creatures.

Reply

Great another thing to help people feel like they are a victim. I have had children. I also survived a rape when I was 18. I actually had a doctor during my first child's birth who was too forceful during an initial exam. All I simply had to do was report him and I did. It never made me feel like I had been raped. I would love to know how many of these women who actually "feel" this way or claim this, have actually been raped previous to having children. I am tired of the mentality that somehow everything that is a little bit out of your control now suddenly you are a victim. This is just making a big something out of a whole lot of nothing!!

Reply

"Rape" may not be an accurate description of doctors' actions in the O.R., mainly because they are presumably not getting any pleasure from those actions, as a rapist gets sexual pleasure. However, it can be assault.
I too would go through anything for my beautiful children. But that doesn't make what my OB did to me right. And people like her should not be allowed to deliver babies. (I am not her only victim.)
Unfortunately, doctors are protected by hospitals, the medical establishment. You have to be dead before they will take notice.
There are plans to rate teachers based on their actions (before they receive tenure), but there is nowhere to find out about doctors before they cut into you.
Google: "Coercive C-Sections and the Hostile State of Obstetrics"

Reply

This whole subject is absurd....someone has too much time on their hands.

Reply

If you can't wrap your head around the fact that a doctor will be looking at your vagina, touching your vagina and that perhaps things will not go 100% as planned, you should avoid pregnancy. This is a ludicrous comparison.

Reply

I've had 3 children & I would not consider any of them close to being raped. I also was raped at 10 by a supposedly doctor, then @ 17 by 2 men. Having the babies was much better. Women choose to have babies 99% of the time, so they should not consider it the same as rape. If you don't want to be pregnant, then don't get that way, I'm sorry if that sounds callous, but you have to know that there will be pain.

Reply