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Born on September 11: A Birthday Forever Changed
Filed under: In The News, Media, Birthdays
Dinetta Wallach and her daughter Gabrielle, whose birthday is on September 11. From their downtown Manhattan neighborhood, they had a direct view of the World Trade Center. Credit: Damon Dahlen, AOL
When your birthday falls on the same date as one of the worst tragedies of humankind, yearly celebrations take a backseat to memorial services. Four families with children born on that horrific day share their stories.
Gabrielle Wallach doesn't want to celebrate her 12th birthday with cake this year. Actually, the seventh-grader told her parents that she never wants cake on her birthday. Instead of marking the occasion with indulgent sweets, Gabrielle prefers to quietly honor the 2,975 people who lost their lives eight years ago on her birthday -- September 11.
Dinetta Wallach, Gabrielle's mother, still cries when she thinks about how her little girl woke up in the family's downtown Manhattan apartment on the morning of her 4th birthday, Sept. 11, 2001, eagerly anticipating her SpongeBob SquarePants birthday cake, and how her daughter's world -- along with everyone else's -- changed.
Mother and daughter were home alone when they heard a giant boom at 8:45 a.m. It was the hijacked passenger jet, American Airlines Flight 11 out of Boston, Mass., slamming into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Minutes later, while taking in the horrifying view from a neighbor's apartment, they witnessed the second plane hit and, soon after the buildings collapse.
"Why is that building burning?," Wallach remembers her daughter asking over and over again. Then, the little girl, who was starting pre-kindergarten the next day asked, "Did my SpongeBob cake blow up, too?"
"She thought the whole city was coming down," said Wallach.
Dinetta Wallach gets emotional when she thinks about how many birthday celebrations her daughter, Gabrielle, has voluntarily given up. Credit: Damon Dahlen, AOL
That night, when Gabrielle's brother Jordan and father Fred were safely home, the family decided it was important to mark the little girl's birthday. Gabrielle's two grandmothers came by and Dad bought a pre-packaged Entenmann's cake. It was no SpongeBob, but it was something.
Gabrielle didn't talk much about 9/11 until her 5th birthday came around. Wallach asked her daughter's teacher if she could bring in cupcakes to lift the children's moods on the one-year anniversary, and the teacher agreed.
Gabrielle, who overheard the conversation, did not.
"She told me she just wanted to acknowledge all of the kids who lost parents that day," said Wallach. "She said, 'No cupcakes in school' and that she wouldn't talk about her birthday in class. That continued until she was 10."
Now a Middle-schooler, Gabrielle remains contemplative when she wakes up on her birthday. Every year since the attacks, the family gathers in the neighbor's apartment and watches the memorial beams of light that project into the evening sky were the World Trade Center once stood. The family will have an intimate dinner on Friday, but no cake.
"We'll never have cake on 9/11," said Wallach.
A Birthday Forever Changed
Gabrielle is not alone in her strong reaction to sharing her birthday with the massive tragedy that reshaped the world. Whether they were born in the years before the attacks, in 2001 or in a post-9/11 world, September 11 birthday children are a marked bunch, their birthdays forever tainted by the events of the day.
Benjamin Hesse's family members have trained themselves to say Benjamin was born "the 11th of September," so they can redirect the conversation before hearing the inevitable, "Oh, that's terrible."
The boy turned 8 in 2001. As the tragic morning unfolded, his family discovered that an uncle, Manhattan fireman Faust Apostol, went to the World Trade Center and died in the line of duty. Debbie Hesse, Benjamin's mom, broke the news to her son when she picked him up from his Long Island school, about 20 miles from the terrorist attacks. Benjamin told her afterward that he didn't want to celebrate his birthday that evening.
"I tell him no matter what happened, it was still one of the most important days in our life," said Hesse, who will take Benjamin and the family out for dinner on his 16th birthday this year. "He was too young to lose (his) birthday. Would I have changed that day? Of course."
Benjamin's school has held vigils for 9/11 victims every year since the tragedy. Because several students lost parents when the towers were attacked, Hesse and school officials agreed it was best that he not celebrate his birthday on the day itself, out of respect.
Lives Taken, Patriots Born
When Hillary O'Neill turns 8 on Friday, her parents will buy her red, white and blue balloons and place a small American flag on her birthday cake. Family friends will call the house to wish Hillary a happy birthday because the occasion gives them an excuse to celebrate something good on the anniversary of 9/11.
Hillary is proud to be born on September 11, said her mom, Heather O'Neill. In fact, Hillary pointed out to her mom last week that her name has two "L's" in it, which, for her, symbolize the towers and the 11 in her birthdate. The young girl, who goes to school with several children who lost their fathers in the 2001 attacks, wears a World Trade Center charm on her bracelet and an American flag pin on her Crocs.
But for O'Neill, her daughter's birthdate is difficult to handle. An avid scrap booker, she has yet to create a page for Hillary's birthday. The day the baby girl was born began with a perfect sky and mom-to-be O'Neill thought, "What a beautiful day to have a baby."
That feeling changed when O'Neill turned on the TV in her Norwalk, Ct., hospital room and learned of the terrorism in the midst of her labor. The hospital went into chaos as the staff prepared for the anticipated overflow of emergency-room patients from New York City.
"What am I doing bringing a child into this world when it is so evil?," O'Neill wondered, asking that the TV be turned off. Hillary was born as the hospital continued to set up for survivors, though none ever came.
O'Neill and her husband Glenn have come to believe that Hillary's life is a symbol of hope because of the day she came into the world.
"She has all of those people twinkling in her eyes," said O'Neill. "It is a source of pride for all of us in our family."
The Birth of the Future
For some children born on the September 11ths beyond 2001, the significance of the day is not yet understood. Wendy from California, who asked for anonymity, said her son, Joshua, born on Sept. 11, 2005, is not yet aware of the meaning of his birthday. Joshua was born six week prematurely and Wendy never gave his birthday a second thought. She was focused solely on her son's survival.
"I've never said anything to him," said Wendy. "As your child gets older, you can talk about it. Would I necessarily talk about it on their birthday? I don't know. ... Where do you find the line to say we are going to keep living ... versus an acknowledgment of the past?"
Editor's note: This story was originally published on September 11, 2009.
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ReaderComments (Page 6 of 21)
9-10-2009 @ 8:06AM
Debbie said...My son turned 18 on 9-11-2001 and while we did not celebrate his birthday on that particular day, we have always celebrated his birthday on his actual birthday ever since. I would never dream of not celebrating his birth. Tragedies have occurred on every date through out history. We focus on all of the wonderful things in life and how we can work to improve the world.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:08AM
J Pearl said...My son's birthday is 9/11. He turned 10 years old that day in 2001. This Friday he will be 18 years old and a freshman in college. You know it's funny and an interesting note on human nature. On his birthday -- whether it was in school or whereever, when people would find out it was his birthday --- people just wanted to celebrate his birthday. It was like a shot of happiness to them. People need a reason to feel good, to celebrate. Life goes on. Yes it was a horrible day and will always be a horrible day in this country's history and the history of the world. But people need to feel that life goes on, birthdays still happen, anniversaries still happen. When I would see people wishing my son happy birthday I could see in their eyes that they TRULY meant it --- that they too wanted to celebrate with him. It reiterates to them-- Yes, life does go on -- there are things to celebrate --- life is good.
September 11th will always be the best day of my life-- it was the day my wonderful son was born.
P.S. I cry too for the people that died that day, the families that lost their loved ones. On September 11 when they read the names of the people that lost their lives---- there is truly nothing sadder. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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9-10-2009 @ 8:16AM
Shannon Moorehead said...Well, some of you folks got it right. This is about people that had the birthday BEFORE 2001. It's not about your kids that were born 7 years later. I also agree with some of the people that say its time to move on. NEVER FORGET, but lets not let it continue to cripple our everyday life. Remember to hang a flag outside your home. Many have forgotten to do this.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:20AM
John Petsinger said...Not just birthdays were ruined on 9/11/01.
The entire East Coast had the same weather. Every clear, crisp fall day reminds me of that day, not matter the date.
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9-10-2009 @ 10:29AM
Mariann said...John I know exactly how you feel. It was a beautiful day...weather wise. I often get an eire feeling when the weather is so perfect like it was that morning.
9-10-2009 @ 8:22AM
meg said...I think everyone has the right to celebrate their birthday however they want, no matter what their age. If they feel they shouldn't celebrate because of the ones that lost their lives that day, fine. If they feel they should celebrate because they don't want the terrorists to win, fine. As for the people saying how we don't mourn on other bad days so move on-it depends on who you are. Sept. 11 affected me deeply so I will always mourn that day for the rest of my life. Not to mention it wasn't that long ago... Although I can't believe it's been 8 years!!! Some of my grandparent's generation will always mourn the day Pearl Harbor got bombed. It depends on how badly something affected you. For April-I'm so sorry you lost your aunt. :-( For Carrie-how is it your 8 year old son has no idea about 9/11, especially living in NY? I'm sure he's not clueless-he probably already knows. You're doing a disservice to him and to yourself by not talking about it (and to the ones who died). Whether you're from NY or you live there now, you should be proud of your city and want to talk to your son about it. The people's resiliancy, they way they helped each other out, the way they were friendly towards each other, how they leaned on each other, how they bounced back and made their city (and yours) great again, and how wonderful the cops/firefighters/port authority were. You should be proud to be a New Yorker. Maybe if you focus on that aspect of that day, it will make it easier for you.
For everyone whose birthday is 9/11, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :-)
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9-10-2009 @ 8:32AM
Stevie said...It was a tragic day, that’s something no one will argue. But something truly amazing happened that day too; that day America came together like no other time in history. Ever. We all came together in mourning and the spirit of patriotism; that is something to celebrate. Not the loss of life (though we should always remember them) but what came of it after. All of America was hurting that day and we were all trying our best to help the ones around us who also felt our pain. So i say celebrate this day although it is a sad one. Remember all the ones that left us; and celebrate the lives of the ones that helped us move on. Celebrate all the people who were brought into our lives on this day. They will be the ones to heal our America. Every birth is something to be celebrated, no matter what tragic day it was on.
My Birthday was on Sept-12 so I’m some what sympathetic toward the situation; I remember wakening up the next day the body count being told on fox news and thinking “Good god, it really did happen,” I can only imagine what it would have been like if it actually hit on my birthday, but I don’t think it would have changed what I think. I don’t regret the day I was born, and I don’t think anyone should. September 11, or otherwise.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:24AM
mom said...THANK YOU GOD FOR THE MEN AND WOMEN, WHO LOST THEIR LIVES, TRYING TO HELP OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, AT A TIME WHEN IT WAS NEEDED. 9/11 AFFECTED ALL AMERICANS, IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! WE WILL ALL FOREVER REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE WHEN THE SKY CAME FALLING IN ON US. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE MY ANNIVERSARY, BECAUSE OUR LIFE WAS FOREVER CHANGED THAT DAY, AS HAS MANY LIFES CHANGED THAT DAY. WE MUUST NEVER FORGIVE OR FORGET!!!!!!
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9-10-2009 @ 8:29AM
Dawn said...My son was also born on 9-11-01. He would of entered this world earlier then the 2pm time he was born but the Dr.'s (like everyone else) could not take their eyes off the TV. We have always said that he has the spirit of one of those people lost on that sad day. I remember leaving the hospital thinking how different my life was going to be and not just because I was now a mother but because how different our world was going to be.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:30AM
suzanne said...everyone should try to turn the 9 11 tragedy into something positive rather than always a negative-being negative only brings more negative.
if its your birthday-you should get up, have a birthday breakfast and then do something positive for the day
by that I mean-plant a tree every year, name a star,
, hand out notes and flowers at the memorial site at ground zero
help the families of the victims by doing something for them, even a hug for a stranger at ground zero
volunteer to the fire dept
cherish those you love, every day!
this list can go on
and the best way to remember our loved ones is to always look for a brigher future, and never forget them, but please dont forget about yourself!
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9-10-2009 @ 8:44AM
Elizabeth said...I hurt every time Sept. 11 comes around. I not only morn for the lives lost on this tragic day but also the fact that my son Jay Barnes who I haven't seen since he was 5 years old that was born on Sept. 11 1982, My prayers go out to the family's and loved ones who lost so much on this tragic day. I Love you Jay and hope some day we will be reunited.,
Many Prayers,
Liz
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9-10-2009 @ 8:34AM
alicia said...My grandmother was born on D-Day. I really think that September 11th is a great day to celebrate life. You should never forget the families who lost their loved ones, but you should be thankful for the life you have.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:40AM
911 birthday girl said...9/11/01 was my 35th birthday. A terrible, horrible, horrific tragedy occured on my birthday, but it's STILL my birthday. Just like other fellow 9/11 birthday babies, both born before, on and after 2001. It's a testament that life DOES go on. And should. While, what occured on that day should NEVER be forgotten, it shouldn't become a forgotten day for those of us born on it. I can't imagine that ANY of those who perished that day would want an entire day of birthdays forgotten, tossed aside or ignored because of it. I believe that just as they would want their own families to move on with life, so should those of us born on 9/11. I'm NOT saying not to remember the day. Personally, I light a candle, say a prayer, cry a bit, and have a moment of silence, then proceed with my day, just like any other day, but for me it just includes a little cake and a bunch of really great family members singing out of key.
Happy Birthday to those of us born on 9/11!
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9-10-2009 @ 8:36AM
Jamie said...My birthday is on 9/11. And while it marks a tragic event that will forever mark that day, I am a believer in celebrating the power of humankind to prevail over tragedy. Growing up in coastal South Carolina, I have experienced everything from hurricane evacuations and landfall to the tragic shooting of reggae legend Peter Tosh on my birthday. I hope young people growing up with this birthday remember to honor the fallen of 9/11/2001 by proving that we will go on, stronger than ever.
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9-10-2009 @ 10:22AM
Jan said...I witnessed the horrors of September 11 from my home. I was very upset watching all the distress and loss. I decided that day to make it a day to be with friends. You never know what will happen, so it is best to be with the ones you love as much as you can. Now, every year I have all of my friends over on the Saturday closest to September 11 to celebrate friendship and life and remember those who were lost.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:40AM
KorVet said...It's interesting how a monstrous tragedy like the World Trade Towers has been reduced to simple set of digits.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:40AM
Wayne Zitt said...I still rmemeber that day and weeks after until they found a great friends body under the rubble. It was one of the hardest things to tackle.
Chris was a great man, brother, dad, & friend! His life was cut short due to BS that carries on in this world.
It was hard for me to understand and accept for many years. As Ironic as it sounds the day had brought sudden joy in 2007.
My son was born 9/11/07 @ 11:11pm. Coming 2 weeks late was nothing short than a message from Chris. When the doctor asked if she could induce labor on 9/11 me and my fiance at the time thought it would be too hard to for us on that day as well as Devan down the road. WE have learned to celebrate Devan's birthday and will educate him in time on who our great friend & hero Chris Amoroso is. And how our love will carry on for Chris throughout our lives.
Love you & miss ya brother!
Wayne Zitt
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9-10-2009 @ 8:45AM
dandydimartino said...My birthday is September 11th. I was angry at first that the day was stolen by the terrorists. Noe I have come to realize that it was stolen by the do -gooders that refuse to go on with their lives. People have admitted that the terrorists won that day by reliving it every year. I start the day with a prayer in rememberance of those who were lost then go to work like I should. I work a few blocks from the trade center site and live my life with the resiliance and strength that has made America great. I will not let the terrorists win by changing my life as they wanted to that day.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:29AM
John said...Global Elitist Rockefeller Brags to Award winning Film Director months before 9-11 that the WAR ON TERRORISM will be the largest and most expensive Hoax ever perpetrated on the World. - Watch Video ---- http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5420753830426590918
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9-10-2009 @ 9:16AM
openmike said...Although I respect the loss of life on 09-11-01, I can understand why it happened. Since Pearl Harbor, 12-05-41, American shores had not been attacked on such a scale. The fact such an attack was pulled off as flawlessly as it was refutes the notion; there are no conspiracies.
19 determinded men sent a powerful message; you don't have to bring down a nation in a war, only destroy a national icon such as in this case, the World Trade Center and watch as fear of another attack does it's work. American citizens had acquired a false sense of security believing; no one would dare attempt to violate its defenses, especially, using it's own assets to carry out this deed.
They have demonstrated, fear can be as destructive as any bomb when prejudice and distrust of citizen against citizen is unleashed. How easy it is for anarchy to overturn freedom when fear is rampant!
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