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Born on September 11: A Birthday Forever Changed
Filed under: In The News, Media, Birthdays
Dinetta Wallach and her daughter Gabrielle, whose birthday is on September 11. From their downtown Manhattan neighborhood, they had a direct view of the World Trade Center. Credit: Damon Dahlen, AOL
When your birthday falls on the same date as one of the worst tragedies of humankind, yearly celebrations take a backseat to memorial services. Four families with children born on that horrific day share their stories.
Gabrielle Wallach doesn't want to celebrate her 12th birthday with cake this year. Actually, the seventh-grader told her parents that she never wants cake on her birthday. Instead of marking the occasion with indulgent sweets, Gabrielle prefers to quietly honor the 2,975 people who lost their lives eight years ago on her birthday -- September 11.
Dinetta Wallach, Gabrielle's mother, still cries when she thinks about how her little girl woke up in the family's downtown Manhattan apartment on the morning of her 4th birthday, Sept. 11, 2001, eagerly anticipating her SpongeBob SquarePants birthday cake, and how her daughter's world -- along with everyone else's -- changed.
Mother and daughter were home alone when they heard a giant boom at 8:45 a.m. It was the hijacked passenger jet, American Airlines Flight 11 out of Boston, Mass., slamming into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Minutes later, while taking in the horrifying view from a neighbor's apartment, they witnessed the second plane hit and, soon after the buildings collapse.
"Why is that building burning?," Wallach remembers her daughter asking over and over again. Then, the little girl, who was starting pre-kindergarten the next day asked, "Did my SpongeBob cake blow up, too?"
"She thought the whole city was coming down," said Wallach.
Dinetta Wallach gets emotional when she thinks about how many birthday celebrations her daughter, Gabrielle, has voluntarily given up. Credit: Damon Dahlen, AOL
That night, when Gabrielle's brother Jordan and father Fred were safely home, the family decided it was important to mark the little girl's birthday. Gabrielle's two grandmothers came by and Dad bought a pre-packaged Entenmann's cake. It was no SpongeBob, but it was something.
Gabrielle didn't talk much about 9/11 until her 5th birthday came around. Wallach asked her daughter's teacher if she could bring in cupcakes to lift the children's moods on the one-year anniversary, and the teacher agreed.
Gabrielle, who overheard the conversation, did not.
"She told me she just wanted to acknowledge all of the kids who lost parents that day," said Wallach. "She said, 'No cupcakes in school' and that she wouldn't talk about her birthday in class. That continued until she was 10."
Now a Middle-schooler, Gabrielle remains contemplative when she wakes up on her birthday. Every year since the attacks, the family gathers in the neighbor's apartment and watches the memorial beams of light that project into the evening sky were the World Trade Center once stood. The family will have an intimate dinner on Friday, but no cake.
"We'll never have cake on 9/11," said Wallach.
A Birthday Forever Changed
Gabrielle is not alone in her strong reaction to sharing her birthday with the massive tragedy that reshaped the world. Whether they were born in the years before the attacks, in 2001 or in a post-9/11 world, September 11 birthday children are a marked bunch, their birthdays forever tainted by the events of the day.
Benjamin Hesse's family members have trained themselves to say Benjamin was born "the 11th of September," so they can redirect the conversation before hearing the inevitable, "Oh, that's terrible."
The boy turned 8 in 2001. As the tragic morning unfolded, his family discovered that an uncle, Manhattan fireman Faust Apostol, went to the World Trade Center and died in the line of duty. Debbie Hesse, Benjamin's mom, broke the news to her son when she picked him up from his Long Island school, about 20 miles from the terrorist attacks. Benjamin told her afterward that he didn't want to celebrate his birthday that evening.
"I tell him no matter what happened, it was still one of the most important days in our life," said Hesse, who will take Benjamin and the family out for dinner on his 16th birthday this year. "He was too young to lose (his) birthday. Would I have changed that day? Of course."
Benjamin's school has held vigils for 9/11 victims every year since the tragedy. Because several students lost parents when the towers were attacked, Hesse and school officials agreed it was best that he not celebrate his birthday on the day itself, out of respect.
Lives Taken, Patriots Born
When Hillary O'Neill turns 8 on Friday, her parents will buy her red, white and blue balloons and place a small American flag on her birthday cake. Family friends will call the house to wish Hillary a happy birthday because the occasion gives them an excuse to celebrate something good on the anniversary of 9/11.
Hillary is proud to be born on September 11, said her mom, Heather O'Neill. In fact, Hillary pointed out to her mom last week that her name has two "L's" in it, which, for her, symbolize the towers and the 11 in her birthdate. The young girl, who goes to school with several children who lost their fathers in the 2001 attacks, wears a World Trade Center charm on her bracelet and an American flag pin on her Crocs.
But for O'Neill, her daughter's birthdate is difficult to handle. An avid scrap booker, she has yet to create a page for Hillary's birthday. The day the baby girl was born began with a perfect sky and mom-to-be O'Neill thought, "What a beautiful day to have a baby."
That feeling changed when O'Neill turned on the TV in her Norwalk, Ct., hospital room and learned of the terrorism in the midst of her labor. The hospital went into chaos as the staff prepared for the anticipated overflow of emergency-room patients from New York City.
"What am I doing bringing a child into this world when it is so evil?," O'Neill wondered, asking that the TV be turned off. Hillary was born as the hospital continued to set up for survivors, though none ever came.
O'Neill and her husband Glenn have come to believe that Hillary's life is a symbol of hope because of the day she came into the world.
"She has all of those people twinkling in her eyes," said O'Neill. "It is a source of pride for all of us in our family."
The Birth of the Future
For some children born on the September 11ths beyond 2001, the significance of the day is not yet understood. Wendy from California, who asked for anonymity, said her son, Joshua, born on Sept. 11, 2005, is not yet aware of the meaning of his birthday. Joshua was born six week prematurely and Wendy never gave his birthday a second thought. She was focused solely on her son's survival.
"I've never said anything to him," said Wendy. "As your child gets older, you can talk about it. Would I necessarily talk about it on their birthday? I don't know. ... Where do you find the line to say we are going to keep living ... versus an acknowledgment of the past?"
Editor's note: This story was originally published on September 11, 2009.
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ReaderComments (Page 7 of 21)
9-10-2009 @ 9:39AM
kerri said...I agree... everyone thinks that there was no way an attack like this could have happened on US soil.. But it did and we need to realize that we are not fully protected. Our troops need to be home protecting the USA on US soil...
BRING THEM HOME!
9-10-2009 @ 8:50AM
HappyBday said...My birthday is on 9-11 . My feelings are I'm NOT going to let this despicalbe act of this infamous day bring me down ! I also feel the people that parished that day would want me to "CELEBRATE LIFE" , and I do ! But I also light candles inside of brown paper bags lining my small sidewalk to HONOR them ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Don't let the TERRORISTS win ! ! Celebrate your Birthday & Happy Birthday to my fellow Americans who share in my Day of Birth ! !
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9-10-2009 @ 8:55AM
carmelo torres said...my birthday is also 9/11, but this will be my 50th b.d. it is a very sad day, remembering the tragic event in 2001..but we pray for their souls.. we must also celebrate the lives of the people who lived that event and live that day over again each year..like us whose b.d falls on that fateful day..we too must celebrate life and hope that some day soon those responisble will pay for what they did to america and the rest of the world....happy birthday to all born on 9/11..just celebrate lif.e but still honor those who died. for it will always be a day to remember.happy birthay and god bless those who will be remembered on 9/11
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9-10-2009 @ 8:53AM
Crystal said...I turned 25 on 9/11/01. I will not forget that day as long as I live, but I hate when people ask me for my birthday. I know that when I tell them I will have to hear "Oh I'm sorry" or "that's terrible." It was a terrible day, but there are so many people who are killed everyday in war. Do we stop everyday to remember them? I will remember all the families who lost loved ones on that day, and I will pray for them. I will not and have not acted like my birthday is a date that is only filled with tragedy. We should celebrate the life that God has given us, and he gave it to us on this day for a reason.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:56AM
Summer said...My birthday is on 9/11. I was in 7th grade when it happened. When I came to typing class I thought we were watching a movie. I then found out the twin towers were burning down. It was strange to me for many reasons, but one was that my brother and I are EXACTLY 2 years and 1 hour apart. We are "twin souls." It's all symbolic. My dad had flown to Canada for a hunting trip. He was stuck there. No coming back till everything was cleared. I cant say my birthday has changed much, except for when various people ask for your bday (applying for mortgage, any financing, heath care etc...) They always say thats awful...or ask me if I'm serious. I always want to ask them if they think I'd make that up and if I would why the heck I would? Makes no sense...I'd say OTHER people make the 9/11 bdays different. I'll be 22 tomorrow...oh how time flies.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:02AM
Tanya said...I turned 30 the year of 09/11/2001, my desk at work was decorated with black balloons and streamers. Of course we were all watching the latest news via CNN on our computers, co-workers still wished me a Happy Birthday but obviously all of our minds and thoughts were with the victims and firemen.
As of today I continue to celebrate my birthday on it's given day, I will always remember what happen and have to traveled to Ground Zero to pay my respects.
Every day someone is celebrating a birthday and on the same day someone is remembering the anniversary of a loved one who died.
I believe everyone with a 9/11 birthday should do the same.
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9-11-2009 @ 4:21PM
openmike said...I do admit to listening to Rush Limbaugh, certainly not because I share his opinions on anything but to do with a fascination with listening to how a really warped mind works. How someone could become so popular with a small, but devoted segment of American society, I find not only interesting but, disturbing as well. His no-holds-barred tirades against anything or anyone Liberal, anti-capitalist, or even female,-- borders on manic.
His unabashed hatred of minorities is too often shrouded in mean spirited sarcasm, exceeded only by his misogynist attitude towards females in general.
How does one become that twisted? I decided to look into the sorted past of Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, born in Cape Girardeau, MO., 1951. He spent most of his formative years seeking a career in radio broadcasting. He managed to avoid military service due to a pilonidal cyst (a type of boil) on his upper behind. After three marriages ended because he refused to consummate with the women. In 1971, Limbaugh attended Southeastern Missouri University where became intimately involved with a man named, Elliot Sanders who swears Limbaugh told him “none of the marriages was consummated”.
Many people who really know him believe the man is above all, a racist, a drug addict, and pedophile, -- indulging himself in exploiting young Dominican boys, and a closeted homosexual! Many on them attest, he is one of the most despicable, self centered, egomaniac, they had ever met. So involved in homosexuality, he acquired the name, Jeff Christie to hide his true persona. After being arrested for soliciting another gay man in Pittsburg, he was fired from the local radio station. KQV. Except for his propensity toward pedophilia, I find no problem with Limbaugh’s sexual preferences. But for someone to rail against drug abuse, Limbaugh serves as a poor advisor. A textbook example of the damning effects of drug abuse, his addiction precipitated a swift drop in weight, deafness in both ears, and a marked decline in mental faculties. He also became increasingly paranoid - requiring his provider to meet him at night behind restaurant dumpsters, where he'd hand over cigar boxes of cash in exchange for some "little baby blues" (pills). Limbaugh's desperation peaked in 2003, when he groped his provider in an attempt to check her for a wire tap. Perhaps the next time you hear Rush Limbaugh rail against the character of anyone, remember his past and consider the source.
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9-10-2009 @ 8:58AM
Irene said...That day was the worst day of my life.... My husband was in 9/11, he was in tower 2 when it came down, he did live to tell about it, but I didn't know for 3 days he was alive... Since then, his health is really bad.... He hasn't been the same since that day, and he has change so much, that are marriage is hurting.... My Husband worked for the N.Y.C Fire Department for over 13 years, since he had to retired, he's not the same man I married. But I do want to say I thank him and the Fire Department for doing their job, I will never forget that day. All of the Fire Department in the City are hero's...... And my husband is a hero for almost lossing his life for saving others.....
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9-10-2009 @ 9:00AM
Tara M said...I turned 18 on that day in 2001. When I turned 19, I turned on the radio, and the first thing I heard was, "This will forever be the saddest day in history." I think about that every year my birthday comes around...but I disagree whole-heartedly. Each day of the year may be the saddest for some, but the happiest for others. I remember what happened to those victims everyday, I don't choose to remember on 9/11 only. I hope I'm not alone in this!
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9-10-2009 @ 9:03AM
Lauren said...It's just not kids. My good friend and I share the birthday of 11th of Sept. Prior to 2001, we would go to lunch together, and get a free dessert and have a wonderful time. Now, we still have lunch together, but we don't tell anyone it's our birthday. The reason, we try to have the time for us. It's not that we don't remember, but an hour or so to celebrate the day of our births, isn't too much to ask.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:11AM
talena said...i agree with you guys my daughter will be 2 on friday
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9-10-2009 @ 9:41AM
kerri said...CELEBRATE YOUR CHILDS BIRTHDAY.. They deserve to be happy on their birthday..
9-10-2009 @ 9:08AM
knittingbugb1 said...It is a very sad day but also for us a happy one our son was getting ready to celebrate his 13th birthday that year. I have to tell you i felt very sad & a lil angry that some of the relatives chose to stay home mourning instead of being here to be with there family sharing in our sons day, he didnt plan it that way why punish him! I could understand if they knew someone personally that was involved but they didnt, i cried hard that day also for the many lives lost but i had tears for my son too who didnt really get it! Im not trying to sound selfish at all, im not a cold person just felt it for my son also who has to live with his birthday being on 9-11 every year these kids didnt ask for that either.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:42AM
kerri said...I agree with you
9-10-2009 @ 9:54AM
Lori said...I agree with you, too. People act like we're committing a crime because we celebrate our daughter's birthday, just because it happens to be on 9/11. Well, she didn't ask to have her birthday fall on a day of national mourning and there is no reason why she should be punished for it for the rest of her life. Incidentally, she was born one year after 9/11. Why should these kids be robbed of the fun and happiness that comes with celebrating a birthday, just because something bad also happened on that day in history?
9-10-2009 @ 9:11AM
Carrie said...My birthday is 9/11 I turned 18 the day the towers fell. I will never forget my 18th birthday, for the worst reason though.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:15AM
charlot5 said...I will be 53 on 9-11 and I celebrate my 25 year of marriage to a wonderful husband. True, something is always happening on that day, but I found that particular day brought more people to Christ than any other day that I know of. So, I consider it as a Not Good day but a God day. It is something about that day that get everyones attention. So all that is born on September 11 consider yourself blessed.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:21AM
Jana said...Yes, 9/11 was a horrible day. I feel if your b-day is that day you should celebrate it. I feel real sorry for people who were born on that day, however, I see no problem is celebrating your B-day. Like some else said MANY people where born on Pearl Harbor day does that mean they never celebrate their B-days. I read the article and I felt real bad for the kid who can't celebrate his b-day in school because they want it to be somber. Another thing that I hada problem w/ after 9/11 was they only focused in the women who lost their husbands, what about the mem who lost wives. I have a friend who told me this, he knew someone who lost their husband in the towers, they tried to get help from charties but they refused because the woman's husband was not a fire fighter or a policeman, how I think that is horrible.
9-10-2009 @ 9:19AM
dcdfab said...I have twins born 9/11. They were 4 yrs old when 4 planes were
hijacked and 2 of them were crashed into the Twin Towers.
Earlier that summer, 2 sets of twins in our area lost one of the
twins in "freak" accidents--a set of identical twin girls and a set
of identical twin boys each lost one of their siblings that summer.
My twins are fraternal (boy/girl). Every year at school, we have a
Patriot Day Service remembering that day and those who died and
celebrating being American. My children are thrilled and proud to be
Americans on a day when Americans were attacked and fought back, were
knocked down, but stood up.
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9-10-2009 @ 9:32AM
kerri said...My husbands birthday is on 9-11 as well .. I do not look at this as a negative thing or a day to mourn.. but a day to celebrate all those who were born on this day and for all the people who helped those in this tragedy.
Yes there were a lot of people that died that day but there were also a lot that lived.. lets not forget them all.
Also.... pray for all our children,mothers, fathers, sons and daughters that are fighting for our country. Its time to bring them ALL home.
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