SmackDown: Should a Kid Be Allowed to Scream at a Restaurant?

Here's an idea...for all the mothers with screaming kids for WHATEVER reason - why not have a sign on say Tuesday's that says, "SCREAMING CHILDREN WELCOMED!" I'm sure these parents will feel right at home. Beats getting the evil eye all the time.... just a thought.
NW

Cannot an autistic child be removed from a restaurant, church, or other place when she or he is creating a disturbance? It seems to me that too many people are concerned only with themselves and never give a passing thought to the comfort or convenience of others. Sad.

My husband and I were just given the treat of sitting between two families with older misbehaving children...not screaming babies which is awful too, and I told the waiter we probably won't be back. He said he wished he didn't have to either. I watched him try to get an order from one family with a bratty little boy who didn't like anything on the menu and slapped his mother with it! The waiter squated next to the table over 10 minutes waiting for someone, like an adult maybe, to order for the little monster. Mom kept rolling her eyes at the dad, dad kept his head buried in the menu...little johnny howled like he was in pain about the menu not being like McDonalds...why the heck didn't they take him there in the first place???

Any child can be trained to behave appropriately whether in church or a restaurant, whether they are a typically developing child or a child with a disabiity. The parents are responsible for training their children to behave appropriately --- no excuses.

what a bunch of stuck up people ever thought people who have babies would love to have a baby sitter but a lot of times we couldnt get one and these day you cant really trust one cause young people cant be trusted to wipe their own ass !! they are to be busy on cell phone or game system to even be aware of anything else . and yes its decrimination to the extreme maybe if a baby screams you should leave instead???

hey Shawn, you are the idiot. The problem is not the child that demonstrates a little vocal issue while out. The problem is that if they are well rested, possibly fed a little before going on and given proper attention instead of putting them in a high chair and ignoring them, the child most likely will not have a "meltown or tantrum". The fact that a parent would put up with a tantrum or meltdown in public is pure lack of discipline. And yes, I have walked out with my youngest while she is acting in a negative or loud way in public. She is 16 now and my sons are 29 and 27. I now have grandchildren and they know how to act in public. I am sorry if someone has an autistic child or a child with turetts or any other vocal disability, but the rest of the world does not "have to put up" with a disruptive meal because of it. Just like cell phones being banned in restaurants, so should unruly children. Have you ever tried to carry a tray of food to someone while a child is throwing themselves around during a tantrum? Grow up and take responsibility for your children. Some things are not acceptable in public and in some places.

That is wrong what if you have a deaf person in the restarant and they screech or yell do you think they should leave? no so that goes for anybody who has a problem deal with it. ban the cell phones in resturants then

no you can't help or predict when your child is going to have a melt down or start screaming for no reason at all but if they do, leave the restaurant until they calm down and then go back. i do have children and am not a moron and i do believe it has more to do with parenting than it does with age. that is just a way to keep from taking responsibility for having a brat and allowing your brat to be a brat instead of taking care of business.

"And you annoy me"------------------------



And you, Tom Henderson, annoy the hell outta me, You, sir, are a lot less tolerant than most of the posters on here ( and decidedly in the minority on opinion ). At your OWN home or place of business you can let your kid meltdown at will: in public ( or at least in those public places , such as restaurants, where people are paying for the services they are trying to enjoy ) you and your child ( regardless of that child's handicaps ) have NO rights to infringe on others UNLESS they allow you to. When you KNOWINGLY take a child subject to outbursts into public, YOU are intruding on the rights of EVERY OTHER PERSON you meet. YOU are the person with the defective child, and, although most people will defer to that child in most cases; they are doing so as a courtesy, not because they have to or should.

Unfortunately many parents DO NOT take their screaming children out of church unconcerned that this can disturb the only time of tranquility that some people have during the week. From a speaker's side, out of respect for both the subject and my congregation I prepare what I say very carefully, and on a couple of occasions there have been some unhappy consequences when people could not hear a critical word because of a screaming child.

Hasn't anyone ever heard of babysitters? When mine were little I left them at home with a babysitter. When they were older I took them out as long as they behaved. If they were naughty we went outside for a little talk. The problem is that parents don't teach their kids that they have to be good and behave. Remember good behavior is modeled by the parents! I always got and still get compliments on how well my kids talk to adults and behave nicely. Put some effort into it, parents and don't subject everyone to your kids screaming. If not, leave them at home and have a night out - you deserve it!

How dare you speak of me or my son like that. This has nothing to do with Jacob having bad behavior. I'm so sorry your not educated about children with Autism or special needs.

Kelly Chambliss
I'm the Mom your talking about.

I own a daycare and I get annoyed when I go places (oh, say Vegas for example - NOT a place to take children) and parents do NOT take considerate action to those around them. Your child's screams are not for everyone's enjoyment. I love children and have many of my own, but my children were not allowed to act up anywhere. At the grocery store - one hand on cart, one in pocket and walking feet with indoor voices. Restaurants they were expected to sit on their bottoms and use indoor voices. I expect the same of my daycare children and they ALWAYS meet my expectations - children love to please and make others happy.
Society has forgotten common courtesy. We want what we want at any cost to anyone. Parents who scream about their rights to have dinner with their screaming child need to go back to Kindergarten. That is where we learn to be considerate of others. Share. Be polite. Or, they can enroll themselves in my daycare and I will teach them proper manners.

Are you actually stating that a parent of an autisitc child would want to sell them to the circus! People like you are ignorant, closeminded and disgusting. I wouldn't alow YOU in my resturant.

I think you had better pray that you never have a child....it may just be autistic! I don't have small children any longer but have been in many resturants when a child was crying, while it is not the most pleasant thing and a parent should take it out until it is under control, I would never go into a resturant that has a sign up like that. Olde Sally's would shut her doors before I ate there. I don't like to see parents of children with disabilities treated to rudley and cruel and that is what this is.

To the poster that said, "What are you supposed to do when your child starts screaming, get up and leave?"

YES! That's exactly what you do.

Shawn , it sounds like your kid is one of those screaming brats! The ones at the grocery store running around, grabbing stuff and whineing. Talking back to mom and saying I hate you, before throwing their snotty behind on the floor. Sometimes I'd just like to reach out with my shoe as they dart by and trip'm...."OOPS are you OK little Johnny?"...HAHAHA...Right into the canned goods..

Totally agree. My kids are now old enough to behave but can still be brats and I am not averse to sending them outside to think for a few minutes. When they were babies/toddlers we didn't take them, we like peaceful meals too. By the age of 4 they could sit for a meal and if they did not, out they went. Either my husband or I had to go with them but that is the price of being a parent. Live with it!

The real problem are the kids who are not autistic, having a tantrum for whatever reason or just being small babies. The real problem are the 3's and up who's parents seem to find it perfectly acceptable for them to run around the restaurant screaming with happiness/dismay/hatred of vegetables or whatever. Some parents even find such behaviour "cute". These misguided parents have to be educated to educate their kids. Restaurant - place where you go to sit down and have a meal.SIT being the operative word. Sure if you are trying to have a romantic dinner the noisy group at the next table may disturb you. If all they are doing is talking and laughing loudly then accept that they are having fun. If, as happened to us, it's a bunch of guys drinking and swearing in a family restaurant, just point out to them, politely, that children are present. We did, the guys calmed down, apologised and paid for the kids meals. They were all family men on a guy's weekend out and were horrified when we told them how loud they were. Finally, if you can't afford the type of restaurant that never sees children, it's amazing what a few candles and getting all dressed up at home can turn take-out into.

Dear Shawn:
Yes, they are supposed to leave... at least for the moment, to go outside and calm their child, and it doesn't always have to be Mom who does that btw.
Also, making sure they've had their nap, bottle, and have been changed will do wonders, as will not dragging them around for hours before you go to a restaurant... or for hours anywhere, really. You are parents now, and have to realize you have to do the thinking or you will be listening to a lot of crying and wondering why.
As a first time mother I was amused to see the mom next door pulling into her driveway at 1 pm just like me. We had both found out if we didn't get home for that afternoon nap by then, there wasn't much of a nap (maybe half an hour) and at 5 pm or so when I tried to cook dinner it was the witching hour. If I tried to do too many errands in one day (four stops was the limit) I paid the price too.
These are just things you learn. If your baby / child has had a long day you are better with take out or a meal at home where you (and they) can relax.

It is NOT an age issue. If your infant is screaming because he/she is hungry then feed him/her (baby stops screaming) if infant is screaming because he/she needs to be changed then change her/him (baby stops screaming) if infant is screaming and you can't figure out why then take baby and leave! Same goes for 1,2,3,15,16. You get the point. I NEVER allowed myself the luxury of just letting my infant, baby, toddler, chilld, tween or teen scream or make a rukus. I got up took the child w/me, figured out why and either left or went back inside and finished my meal. Really, not that hard. Just sort of have to be a parent.