My 17-Year-Old Is Drifting Away! What Should I Do?

I know the feeling. I am going through the same thing with my 17 year old. I am more hurt than sad. I see her leaving home and taking no interest in the family or any thing we are doing. I have spent so much time trying to steer her back but now I have found peace in just letting her go.

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I am going through the same thing with my 17 year old. I am more hurt than sad. But I know there is peace in letting her go.

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I have some concern that this mother is Narcissistic, and feels entitled that her daughter spend all her time and attention on her, or most of it. We don't talk about Narcissistic mothers enough. They are really a troubling phenomenon in our society. It's where they believe their children exist to obey, support, exalt, entertain, and aggrandize their parents -- and there is hell to pay when they don't pay their due homage. Women like this should not have children.

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I was the same way as your daughter from about 13 to 18. It was only after I moved away to college that I realized how much I missed my best friend! Now we can't go three days without talking to each other. The only advice you need is to have patience and try to be there for her until she finally grows up and realizes that you are her best friend as well!

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KEEP IN TOUCH WHEN I ALLOWED MY TEEN TO BREAK AWAY AND DIDNT LOOK AT HER DIARY TO CHECK UP ON STUFF TO GIVE HER PRIVACY IT WAS A MISTAKE SHE WROTE A LOT OF SIGNS OF SUICIDAL BEAHAVIOR WHICH LATER SHE ACTED UPON AND I LOST HER AS A RESULT . PRIVACY ISNT ALL THAT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE WATCH YOUR KIDS WRITINGS AND COMPUTER INFO.

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This all depends upon the actual relationship. Parents should work to forge a friendly relationship over forcing themselves on their children (ahem, not children for much longer). I know when my parents began forcing themselves on me before I left the house, I was very annoyed at it because they didn't go about it in the right way. It's important for a person to have a good relationship with parents, but a 17 year old really needs real life experience on their own.

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Man, the grammer PD is out in force. I raised my son on my own. after the divorce I did not want to put another woman in his life right away so we were not only father and son but best friends. He was only 8 at the time of separation but once he turned 12 - 13 he discovered friends. One of the most brutal days of my life (along side coming home and finding my wife and kids gone) was getting invited to see some action movie by people at work. I turned them down telling them my son and I were going to see it. What I did not know was that he and some friends had already seen it. My heart sank. Not long after that he did not want to see games televised or in person, playball or anything to much with me. It was brutal but I did let him have his space within reason. I had to know where he was going and a number to the parents of whom he was visiting. I had to meet them and he had a curfew. He was growing up and I also knew that I could move in my life as well. I don't know how parents do it today because I did my child raising in the days before social networks and cell phones. Kids are exposed to so much more at earlier ages. You parents that provide you're kids with internet and cell phones just watch and monitor what they get into because there are terrible things out there and kids are curious, not to mention really bad advice from 500 friends.

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OMG, mom's you can never be your daughters bff ever, you can only be her mom, thats just the way it is get over it. And at 17 is when you just started noticing the pulling away, it has actually started years earlier, so wake up, and what ever you do , when you have the sex talk ,dont tell her it's making love or she'll be ready to boink with the first boy that says he loves her. Sex and love are 2 totally different things, saying making love is as stupid as saying sleeping together, aint no sleeping going on and love isn't being made either

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internet is a quite good please to meet friends and even earn money...i want to be the image spokesman of iPad and win the bonus(*^__^*) i am a part-time model and just in the beginning of my career .. so i upload my photos on iPal-com under w w w-com/?u=gallaherbabe... well please vote your dreamed iPal girl

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One thing we can all do for our young daughters is to make sure they don't start idolizing the gutter trash life styles of creeps like Paris Hilton ,Lindsay Lolife, Lady ga ga, and the list goes on

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Drifting apart from parents is a normal part of adolescence, and a necessary developmental stage. Drifting apart is a normal preparation for adulthood, when kids become separate and independent persons. At 17, this daughter is almost ready to fly the nest and live on her own. She is getting ready to leave.
Unless there has been some kind of alienation between mother and daughter, over some important issue, this Mom should accept her daughter's desire for gradual separation. It is a natural development and a precursor to independence. Mom just needs to establish a mutually-acceptable routine for communicating.
If mother and daughter have serious, unresolved conflicts that's another matter entirely. For example, if the daughter wants more freedom so she can engage in self-destructive activities, that's not an OK reason to grant more freedom. And if Mom has been a destructive and self-centered parent and the child wants to get away from her, the child might be justified in wanting to leave early.
Single parents often become very close to only children, and sometimes, that's not so healthy for either party. This mother sounds like she may be afraid of abandonment and is clinging to her daughter because she has no other sustaining relationships. Adult children raised in this environment often become unable to make their own marriages because they feel obligated to the parent.
Single parents need to remember that children do grow up and leave home. If you weren't able to make a permanent relationship with someone of the opposite sex, do not make your child a substitute, lifetime partner. Yes, we all need stable relationships, but it is your challenge to make one with your peers, not your child.
This Mom should demonstrate that, as a mature adult, she can and will move on in life and develop her own interests, activities, and relationships. She should start now.
Single parenthood is a very poor lifestyle choice. Children benefit from having two parents, even if they are imperfect, as long as they are adequate in the basics. Having children without a partner shortchanges your children and deprives them of a vital relationship.

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MY 16 YR OLD DAUGHTER USED TO HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN SHE STOPS TALKING TO ME AND IS TREATING ME LIKE A STRANGER. I FEEL LIKE I AM GIVING HER TO MUCH LEEWAY TO DO WHATEVER SHWANTS. SHOULD I PUT MY FOOT DOWN AN MAKE HER STAY HOME OR CONTINUE TO LET HER GO OUT WITH FRIENDS AND DO GOD KNOWS WHAT AND TELL ME TO F##$$% OFF WHEN SHE COMES HOME ?

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what should you do? Deal with it. It's a part of life. High School is the time when kids try and find themselves, let loose and have fun. It's finding out who she hangs with that you should concern yourself with. "Friends" who appear nice in person but are different away from you could be a red flag. Your child will experiment maybe with drugs sex or alcohol. So sitting her down and talking to her; Not telling her but talking to her about these things and taking an interest in what she does might help you better understand what she is going through. The worlds different from when you were that age so she might be experiencing different things. It's hard to go about asking your daughter what she's doing, but who knows her better than you. Not too many people. You can find things to help just by taking the time, when she's not busy to go out for dinner and chat.

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This is ridiculous. Every 17 year old "drifts" away in order to become an independent adult. Are you serious that you think this is odd behavior? It's perfectly normal and natural. I think that advicemama gives outdated answers all the time.

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I, Myself also has a 17 year old daughter and you know what? I feel the exact same way!! It is very hard when you have always been extremely close with your daughter and all of a sudden the last year and a half has not been about you and your daughter hanging out anymore! We have sat down and talked about it and I expressed to her that she was my only child, I loved her very much and I know she is leaving for college soon and I just want to hang out a little bit before she goes. I told her sometimes it hurts my feelings that she acts like I don't even exsist anymore. So we have set a side a date every two weeks- One that she picks what we do and on what day and the other I pick what we do and on what day. Last week was on a Friday night, she bought two movies, made popcorn and we laid in bed, snuggled and watched movies!! It was the BEST date night I have ever had with any date I had ever experienced!! I wish we could spend more than 2 days out of the month with just her and I, but you know what? I am VERY THANKFUL that we were able to come to this agreement because now, my daughter looks forward to spending time with her mother without the pressure I was giving her without even realizing it, Good Luck to this Mother and Don't Give Up....Suggest the above with her?? =)

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My 14 year old son wants to be very independent, but I've noticed he really likes it when I sit down and watch tv with him. He always ends up asking for me to rub his feet or massage his legs. I think having some form of touch in the day is a good way to connect. I don't know how long he'll want me to really touch him, but even a hug in the morning is a little connection. Sometimes when he's doing homework I'll also go into his room and ask him about what he's doing while I just relax from my work. It's just a little relaxed time. And eventually he says he has to get back to work. I think it works for us to bond in these little brief moments.

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