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Should We Use Two Middle Names to Keep the Peace?
Filed under: Siblings, Baby Names
What are your thoughts on using two middle names? I have two boys who would both like to select the middle name for their new brother. Of course, they can't agree!
- Compromising Mom
This is a new twist on an extra middle name. Most parents who choose to double up are making some nod to tradition. In some cases, the family has always used two middle names, such as the grandfathers on both sides of the family. Other families want to honor prominent ancestors or proud lineages.
Because of the the latter tradition, a multi-part name can come across as a throwback to a blue blood society where a child's name had to reflect all of his eminent connections. You see that style at work in names from George Herbert Walker Bush to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. That brings up yet another group of double-namers: Parents who just want to sound like the kind of people who do have such family traditions.
I'm inclined to be respectful of the real family traditions, less so of the imitations. That's not a matter of snobbery. It's simply that the extra name is a practical bother, so I wouldn't choose it without a genuine meaningful reason.
A meaningful reason doesn't have to date back to the Mayflower, though. It just has to be special to your family, and deliver something beyond style that a single middle name can't. Yours is a new reason I can get on board with. Choosing middle names could be a great way to help your boys bond with their new baby brother. The naming process brings the idea of the child to life for parents, and it should work its magic on siblings, too. You might just have a brand new tradition-in-waiting, no eminent connections required.
Do you have any special naming traditions? Share your experiences here. And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: Miley Cyrus Ruined My Daughter's Name
- Compromising Mom
This is a new twist on an extra middle name. Most parents who choose to double up are making some nod to tradition. In some cases, the family has always used two middle names, such as the grandfathers on both sides of the family. Other families want to honor prominent ancestors or proud lineages.
Because of the the latter tradition, a multi-part name can come across as a throwback to a blue blood society where a child's name had to reflect all of his eminent connections. You see that style at work in names from George Herbert Walker Bush to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. That brings up yet another group of double-namers: Parents who just want to sound like the kind of people who do have such family traditions.
I'm inclined to be respectful of the real family traditions, less so of the imitations. That's not a matter of snobbery. It's simply that the extra name is a practical bother, so I wouldn't choose it without a genuine meaningful reason.
A meaningful reason doesn't have to date back to the Mayflower, though. It just has to be special to your family, and deliver something beyond style that a single middle name can't. Yours is a new reason I can get on board with. Choosing middle names could be a great way to help your boys bond with their new baby brother. The naming process brings the idea of the child to life for parents, and it should work its magic on siblings, too. You might just have a brand new tradition-in-waiting, no eminent connections required.
Do you have any special naming traditions? Share your experiences here. And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: Miley Cyrus Ruined My Daughter's Name
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
9-16-2010 @ 6:12PM
Lauren said...Something like this happened in our family. When the last baby was born, my parents picks didn't seem to match. So they asked us older siblings for name ideas. I happened to pick the name they liked "Nicholas", but my older brother felt a little left out so he insisted on the middle name "Kyle." And that's the name our little brother got. So its a little special.
Reply
9-19-2010 @ 10:32PM
colleen said...when i had my youngest we did not know the sex before hand so the rule was if it was a girl my daughter who was 5 had 2 choices to pick from and if it was a boy my son had 2 choices to pick from... well it was a girl so my daughter had the final choice of the name so Amanda Eileen it was
9-18-2010 @ 7:59AM
KayDf9 said...The parents should always name the children. Siblings can input, sure, but the ultimate decision has to be up to the parents. Otherwise you could come up with some pretty off-beat names if you allowed a 6 or 7 year old to do the naming.
Reply
9-18-2010 @ 12:14PM
Richard said...Parents make mistakesalso. Middle names can be wonderful or "you gotta be kidding"
9-18-2010 @ 8:36AM
Tammie said...I had a step-niece who let their daughter Crissy, who was 7 at the time, name her new baby sister. She named her Kristi. It gets very confusing for the rest of the family. Big Criss and little Kris. They get a lot of redneck jokes behind their back as in "you might be a redneck if you have 2 kids with the same name."
Reply
9-18-2010 @ 8:57AM
Kayla said...As someone who has 2 middle names, and just graduated from high school, got married, and started college- I would advise you NOT TO DO IT! It was so hard to fit my name in standardized 'middle name' spots. I was always cursed with being asked which middle name I wanted to use, since both wouldn't fit, even on my drivers license! I would get things with one middle name, and others with another middle name- always trying to prove which one I am. I yell at my parents all the time for this!! People are constantly confused- and it was super difficult to have my last name changed at the social security office after I got married! Unless it's a tradition, or the names are something you have always wanted, I would not do it. It just makes a huge hassle for your child when they get out in the world and have to use their name to apply for things!
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9-18-2010 @ 9:15AM
Kelly said...I wanted to name my son after my grandfather which meant, 2 middle names. My Uncle, who was a Jr flat out forbid me! (Ok he said it nicely but meant it!) In his entire life not one piece of legal paperwork was ever correct. I ended up going with using the first name and the first of the 2 middle names. Some days I am a little sad that I didnt get to use the 2nd middle name also but, the government has enough trouble getting things right, why set my child up for failure on something as simple as his name.
9-18-2010 @ 9:24AM
Donna said...There are 8 years between my two daughters. When we found out that I was having a second child we were surprised because I was told I would not and could not have another child but very happy. I had to have ultra sounds every few weeks and during one of them we were told I was having a boy (but had a feeling it was a girl). My husband and I agreed on a boy's name easily but could not agree on a girls so our daughter who was 7 at the time asked if she could pick the girls name we agreed since I was suppose to have a boy. When our second daughter was born we gave her the name that her sister picked naming her Isabella. At the time we did not know that Isabella was another form of Elizabeth which is our oldest daughter's name. But yes we did allow our daughter to name her sister.
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9-18-2010 @ 9:19AM
Another Mother said...The only thing worse is when you have a name and then get adopted and it comes out Peggy Long Jurney, was Peggy Dene Long, Now it is Peggy ........Baker, Go figure.
Reply
9-18-2010 @ 9:42AM
Carla said...I have two children, and plan to have a third when I can. My idea was to write down "sets" of names (you know, a first name and a middle name), and let my husband and sons take a vote on THOSE. Then, they feel like they took part, and I feel like I had final say. Best of both worlds. :D Compromise, people.
Reply
9-18-2010 @ 9:46AM
laura said...my son who is now 22 has 2 middle names. being the first, he is named after his father. His 2 middle names are the middle names of both his grandfathers. I guuess when I was yound and naive it seemed like a good idea to listen to my now ex-husband's logic. Now that I am older and wiser it seems ridiculous.
Reply
9-18-2010 @ 11:48AM
lynn said...Your son could always change his name legally to one middle name.
9-18-2010 @ 9:54AM
Chris said...I saw give us a number until we are old enough to say what we want for our own name.
I am sure plenty of Agnes , Ethels and Gertrude's , Homer's wish they could have picked their own names.
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9-18-2010 @ 9:55AM
CaDreamer7 said...When children grow up they get to name their own children. I see no need for them to name their brothers and sisters. Todays children are over indulged.
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9-18-2010 @ 10:18AM
jimBoChili said...just name it - already !!
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9-18-2010 @ 11:39AM
Patricia said...AMEN!!!! already. Quit making things so difficult.
9-18-2010 @ 10:44AM
Angiebaby said...Many cultures give their children more than a total of 3 simple names, and it's perfectly fine. However, children get to name puppies, turtles and guinea pigs, not other children.
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9-18-2010 @ 11:42AM
Patricia said...Amen to that one. So many kids are so over-indulged. Name the pets not your brothers or sisters.
9-18-2010 @ 11:09AM
kittylit said...My grandmother was named by her older sister - Clara Louise Ethelwyn! I suggest that parents should name their children. :)
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9-18-2010 @ 11:16AM
Megan said...I don't know what everyone's problem is with 2 middle names. I have 2 middle names and have always loved being unique in that way. My middle names come from my 2 aunts middle names and especially now that both of them have passed away it means even more.
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