What Teachers Wish Parents Knew

Here's what parents wish knew...(or at least pay attention to...)

Quit sending piles of fliers home, most are a waste of time & paper.
Quit sending "fund-raising" crap home, with promises of useless prizes & junk toys...
If you're going to send home work home, send proper direction & expectations, including instructions to parents.
f you (truly) want the parents co operation, & a lot of teachers actually don't, its considered "interference" & an inference that the teacher doesn't know what he/she is doing...then approach them as a "team player" a great many parents are put off by the manner in which they are treated, especially as the child gets older.
Also teachers, please bear in mind, that over the past few years, most families have become 2 income families, meaning BOTH parents are now at work full time, & are therefore no longer able to be as involved as they would prehaps like to be in the child's school life, so if you want the parents to read your numerous fliers, notes begging letters etc, make sure they are really worth the parents time!

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As a teacher, I liked this article. I do believe I am not here to parent your child, that is your role. I teach high school students, and I still want teacher involvement. When I give your student a note about retaking a test, I want parents to know when and why, so they can help their kids prepare. I also want parents to know frrequently how their student is doing, so there are no red flags when it's too late. Finally, if you aren't hearing from your child's teacher, PLEASE contact us. With a mandated 178 students, I can't always remember to contact each parent. P.S. Most of us prefer e-mail.

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Please tell me this is for young children, because if you're still doing this when your child is 9, you're helicoptering and do not need to be as involved as you obviously are. And going to school to eat lunch with your kid? Really? Lunch is when children talk to their friends. You're going to take that away from them?

Fill out the forms, help the kid with their homework and go to parent teacher night. You really don't need to be more involved than that and will probably be more hindrance than help. I'd have been mortified, even in first or second grade, if my mother had done this, not to mention, I probably wouldn't have made any friends. It's really okay to let your kids go, let them learn a new point of view from another adult, let them hang out with kids. You'll see them at dinner and before bed and on weekends. They'll still love you and probably appreciate you a lot more. In fact, I'm pretty sure I love my mom more having had distance from her growing up than I would have if she'd been involved in every single part of my life. Being a latch-key kid and not having parents who could volunteer made me independent, self-sufficient and confident, because I had to learn to fend and look out for myself and deal with my teachers and classmates personally. If you hover, you're kid's going to stay a kid. Have fun letting him live, free of rent, in your basement at age 30. He can just jump in the grave with you when you pass on.

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"If you're going to send home work home, send proper direction & expectations, including instructions to parents"

Why ? It's the child's homework, not the parents' homework.

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I think that some fundraisers are really neat and fun and I believe most parents do participate in those if they can afford it. But the cost could be quite expensive when there is more that one child in school. Most children are close in age in a family unit. So if you have one in first grade, another in second grade and perhaps another in the 3rd, 4th or 5th grade, all with the same fundraising material, the cost would be very expensive and all parents want their children to feel like winners. It does not matter if we live in the rural areas or in the city, I would not allow the kids to go door to door in these modern times, since there is news daily of children going missing and parents understandably hesitate to allow their children that independance. When parents get off work, they are ready to relax and just be at home, same for the weekend or days off. So they (the parent) will sell to other adult family members and to the adult friends of the family.
Parents don't want to let their kids down so they participate if they can. and when they can't they have to explain to their children why they can't. I get tired of telling my children we cannot afford it and see the disappointment in their face. It is a good thing they are resilient and forgive easily. I realize the opportunity could be used for children to become independant and become able to deal with outside environment situations and if they were really the ones selling the stuff they would be getting good business experience but we live in a dangerous world.
It is great that schools are offered incentives to sell products and earn supplies for the classroom because the children benefit from it but there are safer ways to earn cash or supplies for your school. I recently went online at btfe.com and by shopping online at major stores like Kmart, Staples, Target etc., the school is given extra box top credits. One more thing to kids who do get the major prize, it is a great incentive but most kids just get the minor prizes and to them it's new and different and it feels great to be treated like a winner but the object they won usually ends up lost in the toy box or broken. I believe most the cash the kids raise does not come from the community, it comes out of the parent's pocketbook. And with school pictures and field trips the cost just adds up. It is all schools that need extra cash now a days because of the economy and we all want our children to have the best education they can get, so we participate. From these fundraisers who really, is getting rich?

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Great article. I agree. Parents must do the parenting.

I love the part about encouragement, one of the most powerful forces to influence children and people.

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Great article!
Some flyers are needed. They can be printed on both sides or a monthly classroom calendar with activities posted on it could be sent home to hang on the fridge in full view for a reminder of classroom activities parents can participate in.
Most of all get involved with your child's school and education.
Don't be a hindrance and hang out all day every day but offer to be of assistance when needed and ask your kids everyday about what they learned, who they played with etc.
I worked in an Elementary school for years running The Family Resource Center. We sponsored literacy lunches where parents brought in sack or hot lunches ate with their children in the classroom while we all did an activity. The parents and kids loved it! The kids felt so special having their parents at School with them.

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I like the steps but would add a top wish for teachers,
1. Work with your child on problem solving skills.
Children need to know how to think through solutions to problems but cannot learn this skill without trial and error and proper modeling.

Additionally,
2. Work with your child on beginning literacy skills
Go to the library often (more than during summer book clubs)
Have family reading nights
Discuss books beyond comprehension recall of facts. Have discussions where there is not one right answer.
3. Write letters/emails to friends and family to encourage writing as a meaningful communication skill.
Erika Burton, PhD.
Stepping Stones Together

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I have to say that while I agree the article is well-intentioned, Charlotte is not that far off. I was a stay at home mother. I also participated as a room parent. Our children did well in school academically. When our family adopted special needs children that required more attention, the system was not so user friendly. All of a sudden the requests for participation became mandates because the children required more time. While I do not intend for the teacher to be a babysitter, I do believe that teachers have responsibilitiy to handle classroom situations without calling parents three times a day to announce what a child has done to disrupt the classroom. They fall back on the mantra, "No child left behind," so "trouble makers" are sent home. There is way too much paperwork that comes home. There are endless lists. The fund raisers are ridiculous. At one end of the spectrum we're hearing about how we are failing our children because we don't teach adequate nutrition, but at the other end, candy bars, popcorn and cookie dough are being shoved at the children to sell with these great incentives, which generally turn out to be dollar store junk.

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Simple ways to be more involved:

1. Visit the school/teachers website for updated assignments, projects and lesson plans, so you know what is going on in the classroom.

2. Be organized with your child's backpack, folders and homework assignments, and teach your kids that too. They aren't born with organizational skills...YOU have to teach it to them. Start by making sure they know where their backpack is the night before, and make sure all their stuff goes into it before bedtime.

3. Make a rule. NO TV, VIDEO GAMES or FRIENDS until ALL homework is done. No exceptions, no excuses. Limit video game and tv time (1-2 hours a day), and hand them a book instead. The only way they will get better at reading is if they actually do it. Turn off the TV and pay attention to your kids, and you'll find you have plenty of time you didn't think you had. BE CONSISTENT.

4. Stop making excuses for your child's bad behavior or lack of study skills. Parents complain about teachers taking away their rights as parents, so here's your chance to be a parent. FIX THE PROBLEM before it gets worse.

5. Hire a tutor if you're child is falling behind in a subject you struggle with yourself. Use vocabulary and math flash cards. Quiz the kids in the car, on the way to games, in the line at the grocery store.

6. Don't feel like you have to join every volunteer project, school field trip or bake sale fundraiser. Only do it if you have the time...and focus instead on helping your kids do well in their studies. Thats the most important thing. If you are going to participate in those things, be on time.

7. Don't skip out on the parent teacher meetings. Contact your kids teachers at the beginning of the school year and find out when they are. Put it on the calender.

8. E-mail the teacher if you're concerned about something. Don't ignore things.

9. Set up a study center at home..a quiet corner for kids to concentrate. Make sure they have plenty of sharpened pencils, erasers, rulers, paper, dictionary, atlas, etc. so they don't have to waste time getting up to look for all that stuff.

10. Go online and find websites about how to save time and get organized. Pick one area of your life you want more balance in, and focus on it until you develop a habit. This will make all areas of your life run smoothly, including getting the kids out the door on time.

11. Give your kids a few chores to do. By age five, most children are capable of picking up after themselves, making their bed, clearing the table, setting the table, organizing recycling, helping with laundry, and with help, making their own lunch for school and setting out their clothes for the next day. It is NOT child abuse to teach them responsibility. They have to be able to run a house some day themselves, and you won't always be there to do everything for them, so make your life a little easier and start teaching the kids how to help you out around the house.

12. Set a bed time, and stick to it. No excuses. Make sure in the hour before bedtime, they have all their stuff in their backpack, clothes set out for the next morning, and all papers from school are signed, they are bathed with teeth brushed. Children need routines and you need to be the one to help them develop healthy habits.

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This is crazy!! I have a right to know what my kids are being taught in school and what they ate of their food that we paid for and who is teaching them. I can't believe how many of you have wrote in that we need to stay out of school and that if we HELP with homework that is like WOW!! Sorry, I totally disagree!! It is our job to participate in our child's education. The schools are barely getting financed to teach our kids. And you would not believe what is covered up and not told to you about your kids' school day. Trust me I know this for a fact!! I have two special needs kids and I must participate in their education and be a part of their IEP (Indepent educational plan) that is a legal document between the school and our family. My kids have experienced some wonderful teachers and awesome days at school! They have also been subjected to really STUPID situations (after which the school has apologized) that was because the persons involved didn't care and were not gonna be held accountible for their actions or their lack of training and supervision failed!!!! So, if you want your kid to get that "education" that we all tak about BE INVOLVED AND NOT A COUCH POTATOE. Make sure that they understand the daily work that they are being taught (AND NOT JUST THE HOMEWORK). Teachers really appreciate and compliment parents that maintain the school atmosphere at home too. Make sure the kids read almost every night! By the way, my kids are special needs, but they are A students and their reading levels are 2-3 grades above their current school grade!!! Teachers are not babysitters and the school is not a daycare!!! Sorry, but I get to see both sides to this story!! My husband and I see, daily, parents that pull up and don't even exit their cars to put their elementary kids to school each morning. These kids fall out into traffic, with their coats unzipped and the parents are sitting in the driver's seat talking on the phone!!!!!

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I hope that both parents and teachers appreciate this information.
If you have the desire to find a real fundraising project for your childs classroom or school that is effective, you need to look no further. It is called ShopForStudents.com. It is online, safe, family friendly and it is free. No candy, cookie dough or anything else unhealthy. Simply shop and at checkout tell us the name of the school, student group, sports team, scout troop, non-profit or your favorite non-profit and 15% of your order is donated, that's it!!! Check out our ink and toner section, it's a great fundraiser focused product. Why? That's something people need in the home, the office and schools. Why not ask your teacher or child's leader what ink or toner they use? Buy it at ShopForStudents.com and you will save up to 75% over your local office supply store and 15% goes back to the school or group too! You will save the school 100% of the expense and cash will be donated on your behalf. Plus our inks are remanufactured above the industry standard and you are saving the landfills. Finally shipping is always free on all ink orders. Visit the website, write info@shopforstudents.com or call 1-877-980-7467.

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