Should I Keep Loaning Money to My Adult Daughter?

Zcatnip I agree with your whoe statement.... in my eyes and ears I call it being TOUGH LOVE and that is exactly what it is and that is how people learn they have to bail themsleves out at some point and become grown up adults!!!!!!!! Besides the daughter is "40" years old not 18.... she has two homes there are thousands and thousands of people out there who would love to have a roof over their heads for them and their families.....

Its a fine line. I am a single parent with 1 child who is grown with her own family and does well for herself now after struggling for a while. I always helped every time she asked.I never wanted her to have to go through the struggles i went through and i always figured whatever was mine was going to be hers when i died anyway, so why not help her now when she needed it.

Another loan is the last thing she needs. She needs to sale her vacation home. POINT BLANK. She doesn't need it. The rich and famous doesn't need it. They just want it. She needs to think about what is more important a vacation home or her everyday home. It sounds like she doesn't need to take a vacation anytime soon anyways. She is wasting so much money of hers and her families. She needs a wake up call. Mom I know you feel bad but she has to learn.

Tell the 40 yr. old to GROW UP! No parent in their right mind should give their kid money, when the child is an adult! Teenager, I understand, college student I understand, BUT not an adult! Parents are old and need the cash for their needs. Our American society has become a family of spenders and not savers! God help us!

I so agree, there is a time when a parent "wants" to help out their children, but, 40 years old is a time to stop. It's sometimes enabling your child to take advantage, when, they are wholly capable of going out and earing the same money that you have saved for your retirement, old age, ect. No child should expect a parent to support them forever. There's a time to just grow up and be responsible. Also a shame to use grandchildren as a pawn to get that sympathy vote from Grandma/Grandpa. I have a 25 y.o. daughter who chooses to quit jobs and ask for a handout. I've stopped, she's mad, but, you know...too bad. I work, and plan on having enough to live on after I retire from a job I've held for 30 years.
It's time for me to have fun and things I desire.
Mary

Absolutely agree. If you can't get rid of the extras and live on beans and rice/mac & chs like all the rest of us did, then something is wrong. You either make your own way in this world with what is available to you, or you go out and find other ways to fill the financial void, and Mom & Dad aren't it. I have had to start over several times, and yeah, it's difficult, but there are life lessons in everything you do on your own, the only life lesson in my bailing you out is that you don't have to work for yourself. Get on your knees and and pray, and then get off your butt and put it into action.

Back to the old saying, money isn't everything but it kees the kids in touch

If your daughter had paid back previous loans, that would be a different story. However, trying to live a lifestyle on your and other family member's income is just plain wrong. It's high time reality kicks her in the ass and provides her a lesson she is refusing to learn. All you are doing by continuing to loan her money is allowing her to life in her fantasy world. You really need to quit enabling her. Love her enough to say "No".

Good advice. Unfortunately, I fit the profile of the borrower. I have borrowed from anyone that would loan me money. As yet I have not paid anyone back yet. When I retired my wife and I combined together received a very good pension (well over $100,000 a year) and had almost $200,000 in 401K's. So I thought we were set for our retirement years. Especially considering that the home we live in we bought new 20 years ago when our combined income was just $75,000. What I did not calculate into the equation was how much financial support my three kids were going to need. Quickly out 401K was gone, then even though our personal expenses are less than any time in our married life, I took on loans to help out. Obviously, I finally realized that not only do I not know how to manage money but by continuing to help these kids out was doing more harm to them then good. I am on the right track finally at age 68 and whether I live long enough to repay all my debts my wife knows whom I owe and pay them with the life insurance money. The only good thing I have done financially is set up my wife in the event I die first to live comfortably. With her pension and the pension from the survivor's benefit off of my pension she will get over $80,000 a year not to mention the large life insurance pay out. I learned my lessons, but wonder why it took me so long to figure it out!

HEY, I'd love to hear more of your work...I'm in Louisville also....been seeing one of your LPI marked vehicles in my neighborhood. Whats it all about?

Amen brother.My son recieved 2 estimates for his new homes heating and airconditioning unit.The busy younger man was twice as high as the older more experienced man.This made me very upset.One estimate was $14,000 and the other $8,500.And the younger man didnt get back with us for 5wks and his work had slowed down.The older man got back with us in 10days and began and finished in less then 2wks

Help your kids with everything you got !!! Love is a two way street, and Retirement BS is a luxury your kids will never experience with today's economy, wiped-out 401k's, and a bleak forseeable employment future. Enjoy your kids until you drop dead - because only FAMILY LOVE is all that matters !!!

What an asinine comment!

I wonder how you know so much about preparing someone better for life! Borrowed money you didn't pay back????

Maybe if you had spent more time in English class, you'd be able to post a coherent comment! This "kid" is FORTY. Time to get off the t-t! Mom should bring it up first, and tell this leech that since she's about to retire, there won't be any more loans. Period.