Should I Keep Loaning Money to My Adult Daughter?

Well there seems no effort was ever made to pay back the $5000.and Now I will ask how many times were you invited to stay at the Vacation Home for a few days.Tell the Leach to sell the Vacation Home .They can not afford to pay their Bills ,Their more then likely holding it for their retirerment,and plan on selling the home they are living in when they do .With absoulutly no thought of what you will need when you retiered.When I loan someone money and I do not see it come back ,if they ask for more the bank is Closed and you need to do the same.Time to call Judge Judy to try and get some of your $5000 back are you will never see that again let along giving away any more Money.

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Good news, according to the talking heads on all the news casts the last few days, the recession is over! Thanks to Obama we are living in the land of plenty, good thing everyone voted for him!!!!! So let her borrow all she wants, according to Obama there's more to come.

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We all want to help our children in time of need if we are able. However, there comes a time that the one doing the borrowing needs to get their finances in order! Advise the daughter to get credit counciling which is usually free at the Credit Bureaus... Especially if they are living outside their own means and depending on others to fullfill their own responsibilities. Everyone is entitled to prepare for their retirement and they depend on what they have planned for their so anyone continuing to get money from their elders whether it is from parents or not, is EXTORTION and that now becomes a legal issue. I enjoy helping most of all when they don't ask and I know they need a little extra help during hard times but this daughter has grown 'dependent' on others bailing her out! Have a good talk to her and express your concerns and explain that you are on a budget that you planned for and so should she plan her own future out soon...'Sell the Mountain vacation'....time to 'grow up darling!'

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I have five daughters and I do not believe in loaning over a certain amount to children. The more you try to help, the more they will ask for money. Adult children must learn to stand on their own to feet. I worked three jobs in high school and two other jobs while teaching. Off springs should be assisting parents if necessary, not bleeding the parents out of their retirement money.

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My brother always pulled that on my mom and dad. When Dad died, he really screwed my mom. She can't stand for anyone to be angry at her so he knew how to play her.
Ten thousand dollars later, she has no money and he told her he "didn't owe her sh**".
I warned her over and over.
This lady needs to close the bank. If her daughter gets mad, oh well. I would rather deal with an angry daughter than to be broke and in a hole myself. Because if she needed help, I guarantee her daughter would not be there for her.

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I, think it is ok to help your kids only to a certain degree. If they start asking for money alot and large sums that should be a warning sign they are not responsible. Also Yes they need to pay it back. My advise is do not loan money to your kids, family members or friends I, have learnd from experieince it does not get repaid.

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Exactly. Retirement is BS without the company of family and the unconditional love of others !!! Give her more and stop whining like a Fat Baby Boomer - Enough Already !!!

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Hi,
I did loan my daughter around the same amount 5K back in 2003. This amount was to keep her out of jail. Later I found out that she was using me to see my grand-kids. Since that time she has not been staying in touch with me. My 21 year old son asked me for money this year and he is trying to hold the same position as my daughter did.
In answer to loaning children money, today I say no. We can continue to love our children, but we need to take care of ourselves. Once money is loaned, then they want more and more money from us and some of us are barely getting by. Once you say no they begging for money should stop.

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My mother in law who does not have any money and she live with us. Whatever money we give her when she dosome where she give it to my 60year old brother in law (her son) and this creat lots offight but she does not change. She is saying you give me and it is not your problem what I do. my brother in law live out of his income just spend it. Lies when he need money that he got Cancer.

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I agree with the author. Don't do it!! Let your daughter go out and shake her "money maker."

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Mom...open your eyes! You are NOT helping matters! Your daughter is taking advantage of your love...and this is so wrong!
To tell one short story lesson...We once lived near a very elderly couple that were the sweetest, kindest people we've ever known. They had a grown daughter in her 40s too...they moved to the state she lived in because they missed her so. However, this daughter was on disability, was going to school free (due to disabilitiy) and was constantly getting money from them by crying 'poor' mouth! Once she even got money from them under false circumstances and took off on a big vacation! There wasn't a time that she visited them that she didn't get large sums of money from them. They would complain to us and others but they couldn't say 'no' when she asked. Even their relatives knew this gals game. She would get money to buy property...next thing you knew she didn't have any furniture and they would buy more. This gal even sold her bed and her kitchen set knowing darn well the parents would replace it! Wasn't hard for everyone else to figure this gal out...she was an Addict and she would do anything to get her hands on more drugs. This was a sad case and sometimes you just have to play the 'tough' love until they hit bottom and pray they get help. Turns out, one partner of the elder couple deceased, and the other kept on giving money everytime she asked...well it wasn't very long and the daughter was found dead from overdose. Very sad story.

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Tell the bitch to sell her vacation home and get a 2nd job. I am tired of people blaming the economy, she probably got the loans on both her homes with the liar loans in the early 90's and now she is crying. Well get over it. You can't pay cash? then don't buy it.

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tell her to GET A JOB

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I will loan to my daughter in law, I will not loan to my son. She will pay on time without me needing to say anything. My husband has given our son an entitlement attitude. Then he bi***** about the boy being irresponsible. I spend my money on the grandchildren. They are not spoiled, I dress them reasonably. I enjoy it. Tell your daughter NO and mean it. Feed them if hungry, but make them tough it out. What happens when you are dead and gone?

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Exactly ... and remember your second wife/husband will have you cremated the next morning !!!

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Hey, my brother mooched about $230,000 out of my mother and left her so broke she couldn't buy fresh bread and about another $30,000 in debt BEYOND the $230,000 he already used. It was always, "I never ASKED for her money"...no he just pouted, moped, made comments about needing gas money/bills to pay...etc. and otherwise played on her sympathies so much so that it became all about him. He even said, "A mother shouldn't treat her son this way." when she finally couldn't help anymore. It damn near killed her. He used her savings, she had to sell off her assets (including the house) to pay the debts. Her credit is ruined forever. He wouldn't even let her have back the truck SHE bought and owed money on. NEVER loan money to friends or family without a legal contract! They'll take you for all you got!

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I remember having to ask for grocery money from my parents when the kids were small and my husband had his pay cut to a quarter of what he had been earning. Let me tell you, the shame of it was terrible. The only good thing was watching my brother and sister in law get ulcers worrying there would be nothing left for them when the folks passed on. I was so happy when I got a job and didn't have to ask anymore and believe me I had to ask every time like I was I asking them to donate an organ. Seems the daughter's family income can no longer support their lifestyle yet they still want to hang onto everything. They may have to give up the vacation home and the car and move to an apartment but they'll realize it's way better than having your parents give you the stink eye everytime they see you.

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Tell her NO, you can't afford it or you will be living in the street, tell her to sell one of her houses or go sell her ass on the street corner.

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If you have another son or daughter tell them what is happening and let them talk to her. If you can't do it yourself tell another close family member. Don't be a fool any more.

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