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Hey, Grandma, Show Me the Money! Grandparents Generous With Cash, Poll Shows
Filed under: Relatives, News, In The News, Weird But True, Education: Teens, Research Reveals: Teens, New In Pop Culture
Hey, Gramps, can I have a 10 spot? Credit: Getty Images
But, these financial contributions are a pretty big deal, according to a recent poll taken by the MetLife Mature Market Institute. According to the study of almost 1,100 American grandparents, almost two-thirds have provided financial support to their grandchildren during the last five years.
That adds up to $370.7 billion -- an average of $8,661 per set of grandparents -- during the last five years. Forty percent of those grandkid donations go to general funds, while 26 percent are targeted for education expenses.
Fueling this funding is the economic downturn, Sandra Timmermann, director of the Mature Market Institute tells ParentDish. Most grandparents (78 percent) would rather make contributions to their offspring while they are alive, rather than leaving a lump sum in a will, she says.
"Grandparents are more willing than ever to help their grandchildren, even though they may be suffering economically," Timmermann says.
On the education front, 46 percent of grandparents are setting up college funds, 26 percent are paying for pre-college educational expenses (high school, grade school, etc.) and 24 percent are helping with college tuition and loans. Grandparents also are helping to augment the college experience by buying cars and computers.
"Like grandparents in earlier generations, today's grandparents want to be involved in their grandchildren's lives," Timmermann says. "What may be different today is that grandparents are helping their children and grandchildren to meet immediate financial needs."
The giving is much appreciated, Debra Marrone, a Long Island mom of a college student and recent college graduate, tells ParentDish. Her folks put up the seed money for her children's college tutions.
"It is enormously helpful and is making a big difference," she says. "These days, the college laptop expenses alone are a financial hit."
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-29-2010 @ 2:12PM
Gc said...Heck, forget the schools and cars. We are paying for everything for our grandkids. Until recently when their parents qualified for food stamps, we even paid for their food. The GKids live with us (along with their parents). We pay all household expenses, their clothes, most activities and many toys. Their father works but is only paid a little over minimum wage. Their mother doesn't work yet because the kids are small but is trying to get a job. This isa reflection of the overall economy.
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9-29-2010 @ 2:25PM
lin said...I, nor my children have ever had the luxury of grandparents who help out financially. In fact, the grandparents on both sides are alive, but have little to no contact with their grandchildren (their choice, not mine) They couldn't be bothered. Its very sad that grandparents act this way when they could get so much joy from their grandchildren.
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9-29-2010 @ 3:45PM
MARIA ROLLON said...SO SORRY TO SAY, HOW UNGRATEFUL SOME OF THESE WITCHES ARE!! I AM A GRAND MOTHER OF 10. MY HUSBAND & I HAVE DONE EVERY THING FOR OUR SONS & GRANDKIDS. BUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN'T NO LONGER SERVE THEM,BECAUSE THEY WANT TO TRAVEL ALL OVER THE WORLD, WITHOUT THEIR KIDS, YOU NO LONGER EXIST! WE LOVE OUR GRANDKIDS TO DEATH. BUT LIKE MY MOTHER USE TO SAY , YOU MADE YOUR BED YOU SLEEP ON IT!& LIKE YOU SAID IT'S ME TIME. NOW IT'S ME TIME!!!!!!!!!!LOVE MY GRAND KIDS.
9-29-2010 @ 3:52PM
thomas said...been there done that....wifes parents had a lot to do with grand childen, not money wise but just being there..mine yed right ..my brother asked onced if they could watch their kids so they could just take a night off for a movie and meal.....their answer ...we have raised ours, not raising anyone elses.my worst menony was when i was married and getting out of service and coming back home..i asked if we could stay a few weeks untill i could find a job..their answer ..i hope you find a place to stay....they had plenty of room ..my wife dad said you come stay with us ,,,we did, i guess what goes around comes around, , .now my kids nor my brothers kids want nothing to do with her....they said she did not have time for us,,now we dont have time for her....i feel the same way, guess she will die a lonely old bitter woman,by herself because no body will take her in ...just hopes she finds a place to stay..those of you who have parents that help, not money wise but just being there be thankful...your children should really love their grand parents...ours never did nuff said
9-29-2010 @ 4:35PM
Dale Horn said...lin,
Sometimes, and I AM NOT saying in your case as I know nothing of your situation, you must look in a mirror to find why GP's do not have any contact nor relationship with the Grand Kids. Is it the GPs or the Kids, or a combination? How far will the rubber band stretch?
We have limited contact with our oldest son and his wife, and the kids. The wife is a secular Jew and has not extended ANY efforts to have a mutual contact ever since they have been married. (19 years, GKs are 6-11-13) She has told us our Christmas tree is pagan and our religion is wrong. She and her kids (We found out at a Bat Mitzvah last month) are Atheists. Our son is a PhD psychologist and they do not believe in saying no to the children. When kids were very little they came to house and started to grab all our EXPENSIVE nick naks and use as toys. Those are OUR treasures of travels and heritage. When we said to stop, we were told to just put the nick naks away when they visit. We said no way. Spin time and we have gone to the kids events but still have very limited contact. And, we do send every child money on their birthdays. This year, since we found out about the atheism, there will be no attempt for us to hold a Christmas dinner with them. We will just have a brief get together and limit gifts, explaining that ours is a Christian tradition. They can give each other presents at Hanukkah. Of about 10 couples in our social group, only two have anything to do with the Grand Kids. Our other Grand Son, we have not seem in five years even though he lives within 12 miles.
So, each case is different, you may want to ASK your parents what the problem is... but.... be prepared maybe for some shocking truths.
9-29-2010 @ 3:02PM
Theresa said...It would be nice to help with college, etc. but as a grandparent myself, I don't have the money to donate, but I spend a lot of time with my Grand Children, taking them to horse shows, letting them spend time with me, such as in the vegatable garden, prepare food, baking cookies, etc. They love me even though we don't have a lot of money, becuase I spend quality time with them. this article makes me a little sad because we don't have the money to spend on things for them, but then again, things are not as important as showing love and giving of our time.
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9-29-2010 @ 3:47PM
Donna K said...Your grandchildren will always remember the simple things you do with them. Money could never be valued in such a way. They are very blessed.
9-29-2010 @ 3:59PM
RM said...MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY CLOSE TO OUR GRAND CHILDREN AND WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. THEN IN 1996, WE LEARNED OUR SON-IN-LAW HAD LEUKEMIA. WE TOOK CARE OF OUR 3 GRAND CHILDREN UNTILL HIS DEATH IN 2000. THEN IN 2005 ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW LOST HIS LIFE TO AN ENLARGED HEART, AGAIN WE WERE THERE HELPING OUR OTHER DAUGHTER WITH HER 3 CHILDREN. I DON'T SEE HOW GRANDPARENTS CAN NOT HELP BUT TO BE IN THEIR CHILDREN'S AND GRAND CHILDREN'S LIVES. IT'S BEEN A HARD ROAD TO TRAVEL,SEEING THE HURT, LONELINESS IN OUR FAMLIES EYES NOT HAVING THEIR HUSBAND'S AND FATHERS IN THEIR LIVES ANYMORE. I WOULDN'T AND COULDN'T LIVE WITH MYSELF IF I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID TO HELP THOSE 6 GRANDCHILDREN AND THEIR MOMS.
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9-29-2010 @ 4:04PM
Donna said...I am very blessed to have parents that help us. I have 2 children whose fathers have done little to none for them. I couldnt do all the things I need to for them with out help. I dont ask, they lovingly help. I have a son that is an exceptional baseball player. Those expenses alone and traveling to showcase I could never afford nor take the time off for. My parents are supporting a future I couldnt offer him. They have fantastic relationships with both my chidren. We are truly blessed.
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9-29-2010 @ 4:07PM
Raquel said...Sadly my parents are no longer in a position to help us out financially but they have given our children unconditional love all these years. On the other hand my husbands father has never really made an attempt to get to know his grandchildren and has always had the money to travel all over the world and then some. And now that we could really use the money to help us out with college tuition and insurance he is completely unavailable and oblivious to his grandchildren and us. Now that they are older they've noticed how selfish and distant their grandpa has always been and they do not even want to spend time with him.
It's heart wrenching cause some day he may be in a home and no one will be available for him. Karma
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9-29-2010 @ 4:18PM
Patty said...I have only one grandchild. He is the love of my life. I would do anything for him. I live on social security so my kids have more money than I do. I spend more than I should on him, but can't keep up with my daughter. He has everything. I spend lots of time with him every chance I get. I would cancel any plan I have if it meant I could see him.
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9-29-2010 @ 11:37PM
chris said...I have one and one due tonight...and I spend every minute I can with her! She is the light of my life and she knows it! I dont have so much money, but she ALWAYS knows she has Nanas attention and love. We make little crafts, we cook, we bake..we make little traditions for Holidays. I hope those are the things she remembers when I cant be with her anymore! Btw..her parents are wonderful and attentive, they just let us grandparents have a large role in her life as well...
9-29-2010 @ 5:56PM
Kisswoman said...I agree with you Patty. I would cancel any plans if I could spend just 1 hour with my grandkids.
9-29-2010 @ 5:55PM
kisswoman said...I would love to be able to spend time and yes money on my grandkids, but my son has chosen to break all ties to my husband and I. He and his GF live with us virtually rent free, and are now PO'd because we could not continue to pay for their phone bills in addition to ours, BTW we bought the phones and the service was in my name, I finally had had enough and disconnected them. They had the idea that they could move out on their own, and are learning a ver important lesson. My son has now burned the bridge and I will no longer allow him to disrepect me by allowing his GF to dictate to him. I love my Gkids and want the best for them.
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9-29-2010 @ 6:00PM
Jennifer said...I think "some" adult children (not all) but a lot of them have become
spoild adults who think things should be handed to them.
Now a days kids graduate from college and expect to be put into management positions immediately, without learning the ropes out on the floor first.
Then these same people have children, and expect their parents to provide expensive christmas/ birthday presents, open baby sitting duties, purchase athletic gear for school sports programs.
And then, sometimes the want to move in with the parents to cut out have to pay rent.
Some American children need to grow up and take responsibility for the children they brought into the world.
But for the record, there are some really good relationships between parents, adult children and grandkids. And all they want from one another is a good honest relationship.
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9-29-2010 @ 6:53PM
Amy Rosenberg said...I think a lot of this problem has to do with different ideas on the ten commandments. The part about honoring your father and mother has been replaced by " You should leave your parents and cleave to your wife. and another "The wife should be obedient to her husband as the man should be obedient to G-D." My brother joined a born again church that will not allow him to even talk to his parents. My parents never saw his children for many years before their death and he never spoke to his parents. Do not blame the parents. Sometimes it is not their fault.
9-29-2010 @ 6:52PM
Zazasmom said...I am an adult with three children. My mother lives on a fixed income, but she spends so much time with my children that they are elated anytime they have the opportunity to talk with her on the phone, and she only lives three miles away. I've been so blessed by her helping me, she kept two of them while I was an adult college student, that no matter what she needs, I always make sure that she has it. While I was with her today, I made sure to let her know that she's the only mother that I have and that I love her. Grandparents ROCK!!!
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10-02-2010 @ 7:07AM
angie said...I just last year got my youngest through college so am now trying to help my husband get our finances in better shape for retirement so we don't have to be dependent on our kids later. That being said, my grandchildren are truly the light of my life. If I'm in funky mood all I have to do is think of their sweet little faces and how it feels to hold them... and it's an immediate smile. Our boy (4 y.o.) is a former foster child who's adoption will be final this month after coming into our lives 2 1/2 years ago... and our baby girl is 8 months old; they're the most fun people I know to spend time with (though a bit exhausting!). :) I'd love to be in a position financially to help them but the one thing with working for what you have is that you learn to be responsible and that's too important a life skill. I do help by watching the kids while my daughter and her son take additional college classes.
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9-29-2010 @ 7:52PM
pam said...we give grandchildren money and help them out at times..but we worked all our life to get what we wanted and now able to enjoy it some..My daughter and her husband work hard but thats to Obama things are hard right now,..
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10-03-2010 @ 10:00AM
Lydia Harris said...Grandparents play a crucial role. I wrote a book for grandparents. It comes off the press on Oct. 8. "Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting: For Grandparents at Any Stage of the Journey" affirms grandparents and encourages them to invest in grandkids lives--not necessarily with money, but through prayer, time, love. You can learn more about the book here: www.preparingmyheart.net. Please help me spread the word.
Lydia Harris
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