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Marie Osmond Knows From the Suicide of a Child
Filed under: Celeb Parents, In The News, Celeb News & Interviews
In light of Marie Osmond's family tragedy, find out how to spot signs of depression. Credit: Danny Johnston, AP
This morning, we woke up to learn that Marie Osmond's teenage son had jumped out a window, leaving behind a suicide note. As a member of the editorial team of this parenting website, my first thought was, "That poor mom. How is she going to get through this? Forget that she's a celebrity. She's a mom first."
My next thought was that we were not going to run a news story about it.
Fresh out of journalism school years ago, I learned about something called copycatism. There had been a number of kids who'd killed themselves and my boss explained to me that that's what happens when teen suicides hit the front pages. It was then, as a cub reporter, that I decided I would never cover such a story.
The number one worst thing that can happen to a parent is her child dying. Only one thing makes it worse: If that child took his own life.
A friend, who lost his beautiful daughter to brain cancer in 2006, suffered terribly. Three years later, when he heard that his friend's child had tried to commit suicide -- and, thank God, failed -- he had a most surprising reaction.
"I didn't know what to say to her," David explains. "My daughter's death was not her fault. I just can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child by her own hand. There are no words that can ease that pain." And this from a guy -- a salesman -- who talks for a living.
So, Parents, in our small attempt to help, here's a list of some of the warning signs. A more comprehensive suicide prevention guide can be found at HelpGuide.org.
1) If your child says, "I want to kill myself," or some variation thereof, even if it sounds like a snarky joke, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Talk to your child and find out what's going on. Don't dismiss any kind of struggle that he's having as mere growing pains. Listen to what he's saying.
2) Don't wait to seek out professional help. Talk to a psychiatrist or another mental health professional to get advice on how to handle it. Or, better still, bring your child to that therapist. If your child is saying, "I am going to kill myself," get him to an emergency room immediately.
3) Take your child's other kinds of comments seriously as well. If your child says things like, "Life is not worth living," or "I don't see the purpose to life," or "You won't have to worry about me anymore," unpack that with him. Ask him what he means. When you dig deeper, you might discover a desperation hidden under the surface. Get help immediately in the form of a psychiatrist.
4) Don't leave your child alone if you suspect that he's even the least bit suicidal.
5) Irritability or an angry mood for no apparent reason is another biggie. Don't dismiss it as typical teenage behavior.
6) Withdrawing. Is your child isolating himself from people? It doesn't have to be everyone, but if he's keeping away from some people, that's a sign that there's something serious going on.
7) Substance Abuse. If you suspect your child is using alcohol or drugs -- prescription, over-the-counter or illegal drugs -- seek help immediately.
8) Reach out to the pros. If you have any questions, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK or 800-273-8255.
For more on this subject, visit helpguide.org. Click here for the section for parents.
Click here for the section for teens. For those outside the United States, contact Befrienders.org.
This article was originally published on February 28, 2010.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-28-2010 @ 10:24AM
nelly said...SUGGESTION: Most importandly maybe we as parents need to have closer ties with our kids.
Set a day of the week to go out together. From a very early age sit at a restaurant, a movie, golf put put,family pool table centers, bowling,playing flag football with neigborhood kids at a nearby park or school ground. Yes!people!!! even if you're tired you will have accomplished a great deal in parenting the positive way. Get out make it happen. If you get them use to the same over and over again daily boredness creeps up. then they turn to drugs. different company that'll show them a good time.
At the end We are Family is the name of the game....We be there for them and they in turn will always be here with us....
Reply
2-28-2010 @ 7:56PM
nelly said...Be with your kids all the time you can....playaround with them...If you live in snowy mountain areas or rural...there is nothing to do... they want to go to the beach....throw buckets os wam water on the fllor and go swimming with your kids....The point is to enjoy as many moments often....
Reply
2-28-2010 @ 2:59PM
MACDONALDBANK1 said...It’s possibly yet another young guilt ridden gay boy dealing with religion from the Mormon or Christian church or any other for that matter. Religious extremists are using their selfish fantasy to lay so much guilt on a part of nature and gay boys are forced to feel second class and even less. Being Gay is as natural as being black. The Growing Pains guy who just hanged himself in Vancouver could be yet another. Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter has the courage to put together a new group to help gay youth.
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2-28-2010 @ 4:27PM
David S. said...Macdonald -- I had not heard the young man was gay. I did not read that in any article. However, if he was, I cannot imagine someone like Marie Osmond would have turned her back on her son, nor the rest of the Osmonds. I think you are correct when you speak of the Mormon church having strict rules about homosexuality, as do Catholics, Baptists, etc. But many of us know gay people, whether family members or friends, and that is what changes hearts and minds. Yes, people of deep faith (I am not one) struggle with the issue of homosexuality. But when it is your own child, other family member, or close friend, most people embrace them. Those parents who don't -- or churches who shun them -- well, a pox on both their houses.
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2-28-2010 @ 4:38PM
Gypsy joy said...I have not seen any conformation on either young man's sexual orientation, and though it may be a valid point, it hardly solves the problem to blame parents or religion. As a psych nurse, I have seen people young and old struggling with pain they find overwhelming. There are bullies in this world from the playground to the grave and until as a society, we learn to value everyone with all their perceived flaws and sins, suicide for many seems like the only solution. Tomorrow the solution to the issue may have come, but it is the present moment when one feels hopeless and alone that they can't see beyond. Mental health services are continuously under budget cuts, parents have such a hard time making ends meet that many have little time for their children, we place so much importance on things that really don't matter at the end of the day. Until we all get our priorities right, teach love and tolerance, the problem will continue. Prayers to all those suffering with the pain of loss and heartache. Smile at strangers and seek out your children and your friends. You never know when you might make a difference with a kind word or act of loving support.
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2-28-2010 @ 5:17PM
Dee said...One of Marie Osmonds daughter has come out as being a lesbian, and Marie has gone on the record in many media outlets as "loving" her daughter and "being proud" of the young woman she is becoming. I can't imagine it would have been any different IF her son Michael was gay. My thoughts and prayers are with Marie and her eitire family at this time.
2-28-2010 @ 6:42PM
Natalie said...This is a well-written article. Nice job! Great info! Thanks. I'll pass it around.
My heart goes out to the Osmond family. Such a sad, sad time. I heard on the news that it's still being investigated because they feel it may have been actually a homocide. Either way, sadly, it won't bring back that child.
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3-01-2010 @ 10:15PM
Susan Avery said...Thanks, Natalie.
2-28-2010 @ 7:48PM
Sonja said...A friend of my son's committed suicide as a teen. They were not best friends, but I did use the tragedy as an opportunity to discuss was an absolutely devistating effect a child killing themself has on the family and how important it is if something is bothering him so much that he must discuss it and it can be worked out. I impressed on him how parents NEVER get over something like that and are partially dead themselves for the rest of their lives. When I would read in the paper about someone going through a terribly difficult time, yet they were coping and staying upbeat despite it, I would make that as an example of how you can make it through anything and, actually, in the scheme of things in ones life most things we think is so important today, next week, next month, next year, or 10 yrs. from now, won't be important at all. I can remember my mother saying similar things to me when I would be upset about something. Teens tend to be very self centered, thinking their problems are so huge, but when discussed with them they can realize their problems are really very small and they have their whole lives ahead of them. Parents must talk to their teens and make examples of things like this.
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3-09-2010 @ 7:38PM
TylerSue said...The fact is it doesn't matter if the young man was gay or not,if he used drugs or not....The painful fact is a young man is dead,and his family has been plunged into a hell that no one who hasn't "lost" a child would understand.There is nothing more heartbreaking,or life changing than outliving one of your children.
My heart goes out to Marie & the entire family & their friends who also have lost someone they love.The rumors will fly,I hope the family gets a chance to grieve in peace & rebuild their lives without that person they never expected to have to go on without.
Once you heart is broken this way,it never truly heals.And what doesn't kill might make us stronger,but it also tends to leave a hell of a scar!
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3-01-2010 @ 11:13AM
Sherry Artemenko said...Thank you for your sensitive blog on this topic. Possibly the best thing you learned back in journalism school was to not publicize these events further. You may have saved lives by doing so. Keep it up!
Sherry Artemenko
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3-01-2010 @ 12:24PM
Susan Avery said...Thanks, Sherry. We really appreciate your thumbs up.
3-02-2010 @ 8:51PM
Vicki said...I don't see what being Gay has to do with this. I just think that they should have our Prayers. If you've not had a family member or a friend who is dealt with depression then you don't understand. It isn't something that is here one day and gone the next. Instead of spreading rumors about if he is Gay or not just give the Osmonds your Prayers and support.
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