Hey, Kids! Tea Party Politics Now as Simple as a Coloring Book
How jealous the conservative commentator must be of your new Tea Party coloring book. How he must wish he had a coloring book when he was a child to express his outrage at government spending and liberal politics. All the coloring books when he was growing up in the '60s featured socialist characters like Yogi Bear.
(Yogi lives in a national park, the result of a government land grab that started in 1872 under the administration of notorious liberal Ulysses S. Grant. And stealing pic-a-nic baskets? Clearly a Marxist metaphor for the redistribution of wealth. There's just not enough red and yellow in the crayon box for a pinko like Yogi.)
But today's kids live in a world of post-Palin enlightenment, and they can reduce the complexities of modern politics to a coloring book.
CBS News reports you can thank Really Big Coloring Books of Clayton, Mo., for that. Owner Wayne Bell tells the network his company is not political. He also publishes a coloring book based on President Barack Obama. Bell says he stands firmly in the middle, collecting money from both sides.
Nonetheless, Fox News reports Bell has received death threats since the coloring book was released Sept. 5. Police in Clayton tell the network that's news to them. Bell admits he hasn't exactly reported the incidents to anyone. Well, except the media.
"We don't want to be overly dramatic about what's happening," Bell tells Fox.
Bell insists his coloring book just lets kids out there know what the Tea Party is all about.
"In 1773, we had a Tea Party and this led to freedom from high taxes," the book reads. "Today, we are having another Tea Party and this will lead to freedom from high taxes again!"
Psst, kids, the Boston Tea Party in 1773 was actually more about taxation without representation than the tax rate. And by the way, the federal Bureau of Economic Analysis reports that federal, state and local income taxes consumed 9.2 percent of all personal income in 2009 -- the lowest rate since 1950.
Of course, it's hard to get all that in a coloring book.
The important thing, kiddies, is that you stock up on crayons so you can color all the people who disagree with you one way and all your supporters another.
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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.