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Halloween Costume Rejects

by Lenore Skenazy (Subscribe to Lenore Skenazy's posts)
Oct 19th 2010 11:00AM

2Comments

Filed under: News, In The News, Weird But True, Opinions, Activities: Family Time, New In Pop Culture

Hey, parents! Are you trying to find a quick and easy costume to make for the kids? Look no further!

The Tooth Decay Fairy

What you'll need:
  • White pillowcase
  • Tin foil
  • Toothbrush
  • Candy corn, Life Savers, or Pez
Pull the pillowcase over your child's head. Cut two holes for eyes. Glue wads of tinfoil here and there. Voila -- a cavity-filled tooth! Have child carry toothbrush with candy glued to bristles.

Disillusioned Princess

What you'll need:
  • Old princess costume
  • Pinking shears
  • Empty Haagen Dazs tubs
  • Cosmopolitan magazine
Yank the once-beloved princess dress onto your child by hook or by crook. It will be tight. It will be short. It may rip. That's the whole point. Shred it some more with the pinking shears and pick off any sequins. Festoon with empty ice cream tubs. Carry an issue of the magazine open to, "How to Drive a Man Wild." (Note: This story is found in every issue.)

Bathman!

What you'll need:
  • Bath towel
  • Large belt
  • Bar of soap
Tie bath towel around child's neck as a "superhero" cape. Fasten belt around his waist. Glue soap bar to buckle. Explain to him that he's a typo.

MRSA
What you'll need:
  • Pair of Styrofoam "antennae"
  • "D.A.R.E. Say No To Drugs" bumper sticker
Have child put on antennae. Peel bumper sticker and attach to front or back of shirt. Congratulations -- your child is a drug-resistant bug!

BP Oil Spill
 What you'll need:
  • Hefty bag
  • Can of sardines
Cut holes in bottom of heft bag for child to stick feet through. Clinch bag under his arms and tie tightly. This is the "spill." Open sardines. Rinse and dry fish. Decorate top of bag with them, belly up. NOTE: Can also use any fish you have in freezer.

School Bus Exhaust
What you'll need:
  • Yellow rain coat
  • Paper towel roll
  • Foil
  • Axe deodorant
Have child put on rain coat. Pull hood drawstring tight so all that shows is their eyes. Slightly bend the paper towel roll to resemble an exhaust pipe. Cover with foil. Have child hold "pipe" with one hand, and spray Axe (any scent) through it with the other. Continue spraying until room is filled with noxious odors. All aboard!

The De-friended

What you'll need:
  • Giant felt "X"
  • Safety pins
Pin the top of the "X" to child's shoulders, bottom of "X" to child's knees. Have child tell fellow trick-or-treaters that he used to be his friend's friend, but isn't anymore.

Reading Log

What you'll need:
  • Paper grocery bag
  • Sticks, leaves
  • Glue
  • Tears
Have child glue leaves and sticks to bag to make it look like a log. Cut holes for head and arms, put on child. Have her hold book bulging with Post-It Notes. She's a "reading log!" Add bitter tears to make it more authentic.

Tags: costume, fairy, Halloween, humor, oped, princess, superhero

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