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Opinion: Being a Mom Doesn't Qualify You for Office
Filed under: Opinions
Oklahoma Democratic Lt. Gov. Jari Askins, left, answers a question from a panel member while U.S. Rep. Mary Fallin, R-Okla., listens during a gubernatorial debate. Credit: Alonzo Adams, AP
Being a mom makes you a better politician.
That's what U.S. Congresswoman Mary Fallin of Oklahoma said during a gubernatorial debate recently. Fallin, a Republican, is running against current Oklahoma Lt. Governor and Democrat Jari Askins, 57. The winner will be the first female governor in that state's history.
"I think my experience is one of the things that sets me apart as a candidate for governor. First of all, being a mother, having children, raising a family," the 55-year-old Fallin said, according to ABC News.
That's the defining platform of her campaign? That she pushed out six kids? I'm sorry, but I want my political leaders to be a little more qualified than that. And here's the thing: Fallin does have qualifications beyond her ability to potty train six human beings.
According to her campaign website, she's a lawyer who has served not only as her state's lieutenant governor, but she's also been member of Congress since 2006. She has a record to stand on, which she can and should point to as a reason for voters to support her on election day.
So why did she play the mommy card? Well, for one thing, her opponent happens to be a childless woman who never married. And, it seems, the mean-girls syndrome doesn't end after high school graduation. Back in 2008, former Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin took her lumps over her parenting when it came to light that her daughter, Bristol, was about to be a teen mom out of wedlock.
Hypocrite, the pundits cried. Bad mommy!
This kind of mud-slinging at and between women is nothing new. We ladies sometimes give in to the lesser angels of our nature when it comes to judging one another, but the game has much higher consequences when it's played in the political arena.
And, really, when was the last time you saw a male politician pointing to his parenthood as the No. 1 reason he should be elected to office?
That's right: Never.
The comment is even more disgraceful considering that this is only the third time in history that two women have battled it out for a state's top political job. Way to focus the debate on something totally irrelevant, Fallin.
Motherhood is not a qualification for political office, unless you're running for president of the PTA. Gender roles have no place in politics. End of story.
Using our maternity, or lack thereof, as a weapon against our opponents -- be it in the office, on the campaign trail or at the playground -- weakens women in the eyes of everyone, including our own.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
10-26-2010 @ 4:34PM
Sandyone said...It sounds like the question was "what sets you apart?", not "Why should you be governor?" Having raised 6 children does set you apart from a woman who has raised no children, or even from a woman who has raised 1 or 3 children. (Pushing them out? You really had to say this and reduce mothering to a crude catch-phrase?)
I don't follow OK politics, so I don't know anything about either of these women. Perhaps your context is correct, but I'm a little skeptical about that. Should she make no mention of how she spent 25-30+ years? Should she write it off as a great time, eating bon-bons and watching Oprah?
If that were her only qualification, she wouldn't be in the running for governor. It's just one of many and the one she chose to highlight for that question in the debate. Since when does describing your skills and talents equate to mud-slinging?
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10-27-2010 @ 8:59AM
Alicia said...She actually only "raised" two children. From everything I've read, the other four belong to her husband, who she's only been married to for a few years. That's why she's lost my respect. She's using her stepchildren as a campaign tool and very much making them sound like they're her biological children, or that at least she's known them from a younger age than she has. In their shoes, I'd resent her.
10-27-2010 @ 12:07PM
Sandyone said...Ah, Alicia...the plot thickens! Yeah, that's pretty lame to pretend that she raised all of them.
Do politicians not know that the internet exists? They say the dumbest things that can be checked so easily. Perhaps their supporters won't check them, but you can bet the opponent will!
10-30-2010 @ 9:17PM
Robin T said...Alicia, are you saying a step-mother does nothing to "raise" children brought into a marriage? In some split families the step-mom become the primary mother-figure. Most step-moms contribute greatly to the "raising" of the children and it is a slap in the face of ALL step-moms to say they don't just because they did not give birth to them all. Also, did you consider the fact that these four "not her children" in YOUR eyes may have felt very hurt if she said she only raised the 2 that she gave birth to? Many blended families consider themselves one family. To say, "this is my kid and that is his kid" divides them in more than blood. How do you know that these children do NOT consider themselves to have been mothered by her? Besides, "several years" in kid-years is most of their life/memory. Just cause she was not there for infancy or pre-school does not mean she was there long enough to contribute significantly.
10-26-2010 @ 7:01PM
Susan said...Thank you for this post. I would not pick a doctor, lawyer,accountant or any other professional because she was a mother, so why should I pick a candidate on that basis? The whole know nothing aspect of politics these days is frightening. I try not to vote for the candidate I want to be friends with, but for the one I feel is qualified and expresses reasoned opinions that are similiar to mine. Again, I do not understand the mindset of throwing out all the people with experience in favor of folksy common touch candidates.
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11-01-2010 @ 1:55PM
Paul said...Qualifications. I looked up the qualifications for Governor and in most states it is these 3.
#1- Be a US citizen for so many years
#2- Be a resident of that particular stare for so many years
#3- Be at least 30 years old.
That is all the qualifications you need to officially be a governor. No former political experience needed, apply within. You need far more qualifications to hold office in your local fast food restaurant than for the governor of the great state of...... anywhere. We need to raise the bar, and keep raising it. So high that we eliminate those who should never be given the opportunity to run, just because of money, family, friends, etc.
10-27-2010 @ 9:44AM
Jen Andrews said...The sad thing is that those 6 kids aren't hers. Two are hers. Four are her new husbands who was married twice before. All but 1 is grown the last one was 17 when the couple got married last Thanksgiving.
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10-27-2010 @ 8:50PM
Lauren said...I agree that its lame to flaunt mommy status. I also thought it was sad that people tore Sarah Palin up over her daughter's choices. There are plenty of parents who teach their kids about sex, but they can't force them to live up to the standard taught.
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10-27-2010 @ 10:26PM
Alicia said...The only reason I raise an eyebrow at Sarah Palin over Bristol's pregnancy is because she continued to tout abstinence only education when that obviously did not work and her daughter was living proof. It's why I continue to scoff at Bristol's attempts to preach the same. It's a laughingstock.
10-28-2010 @ 12:07AM
OSCG said...Wow. Men push their fatherhood all the time in politics!! When's the last time you saw a high-stakes political ad that didn't end with a shot of Dear Old Dad with Little Wifey and the 3+ tow-headed children, crowded together in a group hug, mugging for the camera? Me thinks there is a double standard hiding in this opinion piece.
Being a mother while being an attorney is an extreme balancing act. The law is a harsh mistress; a Mama Attorney gets kudos in my book. It shows she knows how to juggle many pots in the fire.
Motherhood is totally relevant as to why this may be only the 3rd time women have competed for the top slot - it's hard to be a high level executive when you don't have a stay at home wife! If you can get there and fulfill the expectations that our society and culture place upon the female parent - I think that is something to brag about, not hide.
Gender, like race, truly does have a place in politics - if it didn't wouldn't we see office holder demographics mirroring the demographics of their constituents?
For the record, I have chosen professionals based upon their motherhood. I wanted an OB/GYN who was a mother; I'd rather have an accountant who was a mother and would have a better understanding of my parental expenses and possibilities for deductions. Is it necessary? No. Is it informative to my decision making? You bet.
To ridicule, belittle, or dismiss such a critical aspect of one's persona, a factor likely to influence their perception and reception of the decisions they will make in office is foolish. To hold the mention of maternity, a position unique to women and central to our identities, as "weak," while male candidates use marriage and paternity as a sign of their stability and good character - well, that's more than disgraceful; it's shameful.
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10-28-2010 @ 8:41AM
Alicia said...A) Men take pictures with their family. Their abilities are never judged based on whether or not they have one.
B) For of those children she loves to boast about aren't hers and she didn't raise, so she's already being dishonest. Does the fact that she popped two out outweigh the fact the she's obviously okay with lying to her supporters?
11-01-2010 @ 9:27PM
youspacecadet said...You wrote a lot and said nothing ! Typical of your kind.
10-28-2010 @ 11:37AM
Roz said...Oh, I rather think having mothered my 7 children, I am really quite well qualified to be either Secretary of State, or Secretary of Defense. Actually, I am convinced I could simultaneously hold both positions. I have on innumerable occassions single-handedly averted war, quelled rebellion, fostered humane treatment of the helpless, taught respect for truth, dignity and honor--not that those have ever been requisites for higher office--while daily effectively balancing a constantly challenged budget in order to meet the fluid, but imperative needs of a realistic health and welfare system. FPP (Family Personal Product) actually grew under my administration as work was rewarded and piggybank investment strategies paid long term dividends. Furthermore, each yellow duckie that rode bathtime waves modeled how to swim upstream .and if a person can't lead a nation in swimming against the tide of global challenges he or she isn't fit for the job. I humbly submit that motherhood *is* in fact a defining proving ground for political office.
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11-01-2010 @ 11:52AM
JEREMY said...TO ROZ;
Was you announcement paid for by the Committee to Elect Roz for Secretary of State?
You forgot to say,
"My name is Roz,and I approve this message".
11-05-2010 @ 10:59AM
Andrea said...That was brilliant. I lol and had to read it again. The points were well made. Maybe the day will come when women will stop comparing ourselves to men and work towards embracing and accepting the gender differences. Being women and mothers uniquely qualifies us to be in any office or position as women, period. Not women trying to fill the shoes of men but our own shoes. However, that may be too radical! Secondly, how many single men hold those types of political office? Family is important so while it may seem catty(?) to tote the mommy card to a single woman in a debate....I may need to research how many single men make it this far in the political arena.
11-02-2010 @ 1:52AM
Ky said...I agree, Roz. Moms multitask, negotiate, budget, and educate - all essential qualifications for a political candidate, and few people have as much interest in seeing the future and making it stable and healthy as a mom, whose kids will live there. As far as her claiming her stepkids as hers being "lying" because she didn't personally birth them, that's a low slap at every step-parent AND adoptive parent in the world. Any idiot with a working gonad can give birth to a child (and far too many do) but it takes a special kind of person to parent and love a child carrying someone else's DNA.
10-28-2010 @ 5:28PM
parent said...Being a Mom qualifies me to run for President, having to deal with childrens behaviors all day surely qualifies me to deal with legislators behaviors as they are one in the same!
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11-07-2010 @ 12:35AM
WENDIE said...I agree as a mother of 5. I believe I could be president and have the qualifications to do so. I don't play golf, so that gives me more time for my office. I have the look to convenience you that I know your lying, even if I have no clue, so I could change other politicians. I have the knack for comforting big babies = grown male politicians. Multitasking is one of my best traits. And I've been cleaning up poop for years so it wouldn't be hard for me at all. :)
10-30-2010 @ 11:26AM
falling said...Being a mother all by itself doesn't make her qualifed to run for office. All other things being equal, being a mother is certainly a wonderful addition to a woman's resume. Parenthood AND marriage does add certain skill sets to ones resume and many of those skills would be helpful in running an office of any kind.
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10-30-2010 @ 1:27PM
Elizabeth said...I agree with this article whole-heartedly. While motherhood provide you with certain skills, one does not have to be a mother to have these. Anyone who has worked with children--a childcare provider for example, or nanny--can have these same skills, all while being single and never having married. And just because a woman has children doesn't mean she is a good mother. I know women who have three children and are worse mothers than a woman who has one.
The point is, when someone is running for office, their platform should be based on their qualifications and what they can do for the public--essentially, why they are the best for the office. If this woman was applying for a job outside of the public eye, would she put mother on her resume, or would she want to highlite her work experience and accomplishments, rather than personal?
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