Dear Santa, Send Your Elves to MIT and Give Us Technology
The little megalomaniac wants -- demands -- technology.
So fear the news coming out of Duracell. The company (obviously slightly biased against plush toys beyond the battery-operated and slightly creepy Luv Cubs and Teddy Ruxpin) just came out with its annual toy report.
Kids, the company says, want pricey gizmos and gadgets rather than the simpler toys of last Tuesday.
Who knows what the pint-sized masterminds have up their snot-soaked sleeves. Perhaps you could get them something out of "Doctor Grordbort's Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory." The catalog, published by Dark Horse Comics, has every device you could possibly need to take over the world.
Take the Goliathan 800 Moon Hater Death Ray, for example.
"Since the dawn of time, man has gazed warily with fear and contempt into cosmos. One luminescent beacon in particular has looked back, chiding and heckling us like a giant white space jerk: the moon," the catalog states in describing the ray that lets your child destroy the moon (or at least hold it for ransom).
Or, you could just get him an iPod. That's apparently what he really wants. The dingus directory is largely a product of Dark Horse Comics' imagination, anyway.
The Daily Telegraph in London reports some 39 percent of children surveyed want to get their grubby little mitts on Apple gadgets this year. That includes 17 percent of 5- to 8-year-olds; 50 percent of 9- to 12-year-olds; and 66 percent of 13- to 16-year-olds.
Duracell researchers surveyed a total of 2,138 children, and according to the Telegraph, there was little difference between boys' and girls' wish lists. Parents surveyed say they just want devices that will keep the kids occupied and quiet.
Here's the top 10:
- 1. iPhone 4 (14 percent)
- 2. iPod touch (13 percent)
- 3. iPad (12 percent)
- 4. Kinect for Xbox (6 percent)
- 5. Zhu Zhu Pet Hamsters / Kung Zhu Hamsters (5 percent)
- 6. Flip Video Camera (4 percent)
- 7. "Toy Story 3" Jet Pack Buzz Lightyear (4 percent)
- 8. PlayStation Move (4 percent)
- 9. LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4 Video Game (3 percent)
- 10. Barbie Video Girl (3 percent)
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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.