Can I Give My Daughters the "Same" Name?
Filed under: Baby Names
My 2-year-old daughter's name is Elizabeth. Since Isabella is the Spanish version of the name Elizabeth, should I not name my new baby Isabella? The two names sound and look completely different to me, but will this create a lifelong problem for my two daughters?
- Isabella Lover
Don't we all create lifelong problems for our children? Luckily, choosing the names Elizabeth and Isabella ranks low on the scale of Ways To Give Your Kids Complexes. I'd say it comes in just above making them wait until high school to get their ears pierced.
That's not to say I'd recommend it. I've weighed in against other close sibling pairings, like naming John's little brother Jack. Sibling rivalry can be a powerful thing, and discovering that you and your sister have variations of the same name could strike some uncomfortable chords. With so many names in the world, why risk it?
On the other hand, as you point out, Elizabeth and Isabella look and sound very different. And unlike John and Jack, neither is a nickname of the other. You can also give the girls some extra personal space with distinctive nicknames like Liza and Bella, rather than Lizzie and Izzie. So while the pair wouldn't be my first (or second) choice, I doubt that your daughters will suffer identity crises.
Part of parenting is giving your children positive emotional tools to negotiate the world. I think it's a good sign that you're already considering the potential implications of your name choice. Tackle this head on. Make it clear that you chose each name because it was beautiful and you loved it on its own, but don't try to hide the connection. Call it a secret bond for your daughters to share.
That positive attitude will be important in facing down another challenge, too: Name-knowledgeable busybodies pointing out to you that your daughters "have the same name." Don't rise to the bait and get defensive. Respond with your warmest smile, and explain that the names are simply lovely relations. "They started with the same roots but grew into two complete individuals -- just as siblings do!"
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 4)
10-28-2010 @ 5:43PM
JessicaR750 said...My aunt had two daughters named Bella and Izzie. They were twins, and as soon as they went to school both girls were adressed and IzzieBella. The girls hated it and were sent to two different schools. I'd be careful if I were you.
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11-01-2010 @ 6:57AM
Mohammed said...Take a bite of this here, yubukule.
11-01-2010 @ 7:55AM
fromalittletown said...I used to process mortgage loans. I had a lady with 5 sons; she named them all "Dick"after their Dad, but they all had a different middle initial. It was a nightmare cuz all their credit was confused. She got really defensive cuz we couldn't straighten it out.
11-01-2010 @ 10:09AM
Bex said...Maybe you should be more worried that there'll be 16 other girls in your daughter's class are going to be named some form of isabella
11-01-2010 @ 10:41AM
musomesa said...Don't do it. They are two individuals and deserve distinction. There is nothing to be gained.
11-01-2010 @ 12:14PM
Randy said...After reading this I have to share the choice a co-worker made in naming her four children. Their names are Alexus, Alexander, Alexandria, Alexavier. When asked why she did this, she responds that when she wants all four children to come, she can just yell "Alex!" When asked what she calls when she just wants one of them, she'll tell you, "That's easy, I just call them by their last name."
11-01-2010 @ 2:26PM
Emme said...@ Randy: wowwww, that sounds like a horrible idea! i guess if it works for them, fine, it's not my place to criticize that, and i'm a big believer in not messing with a system that win't broke. but still... ouch, those poor kids! i imagine they must either find it extremely amusing or absolutely intolerable. i do hope it's the former, for their sakes.
10-29-2010 @ 3:22PM
JayEmm said...I have cousins who are sisters. They have the names Sarah and Sally. They grew up to be normal functioning citizens. Not something I would do myself, but hey it worked for them.
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10-29-2010 @ 3:59PM
Diane said...Without realizing it at the time, I did the same thing. I named 2 of my boys, Ian & Sean. Turns out both names are versions of the name John. When I mentioned it to my husband, his response was that no one would know and we don't call them John, so don't worry about it. Well, someone did bring it to my attention a couple of months later. We just enjoyed a little chuckle and went on about our business. The boys know what their name means, but have never had any issues with it. They are typical brothers who get along most of the time and don't seem the least bit bothered by the whole thing.
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12-09-2010 @ 2:02PM
Tim said...Well, you're doing better than some.
My father was the 6th or 7th generation in a row with the first name of John (and different middle names), so he refused to give his three sons the first name of John. My older brother, got John as a Middle Name and came up with his own twist, naming his three boys Sean, Jonathan and Jackson.
10-29-2010 @ 7:55PM
Miche said...There is a celebrity that named his daughters Elizabeth and Isabella. I think it was Sean Astin from Lord of the Rings.
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10-29-2010 @ 9:26PM
EAB said...I never knew that Isabella is a form of Elizabeth, which is my name. I see nothing wrong with having both names in the family *but* Isabella is one of the super trendy names right now. Your second daughter, should you choose the name Isabella, might be more upset if she ends up going to school with several other girls with the same name. Several of my nieces, born in the 80s & 90s, have names that were super popular at the time and they all went to school with girls who have the same name. In one niece's class, there were 4 of them all with the same name one year.
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10-30-2010 @ 2:26AM
Lauren said...Isn't this over-thinking it just a bit? Most people wouldn't know that they were the "same name." Maybe it would be a bigger problem if the family lived in a Hispanic populated area.
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11-01-2010 @ 9:14AM
i_gotta_travel said...My husband is from South America and most of our friendships are Spanish-speaking families, and I don't think that even in a Hispanic neighborhood this would be a problem, in fact it probably would be less of one since English-speaking Americans tend to be a lot more concerned about what names mean or what names are the same than Hispanics. Versions of Elizabeth are I think more popular (rather than Isabella) in Spanish speaking cultures right now. I've seen tons of Elisabeths, Elisabets, Elibets, etc. Isabel or Isabella is more of an old-fashioned name to them. I would have bigger problems with using the name Isabella due to it being so popular too, as some other people have mentioned.
11-01-2010 @ 8:43AM
Grace said...My oldest daughter is Elizabeth and my youngest is Isabella. My oldest one jokes that if I have another girl I can't name her any form of Elizabeth.
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1-17-2011 @ 7:48PM
Rosalie said...lol If you do have another girl, name her Bettina.
11-01-2010 @ 8:37AM
Pam said...I have a friend who named her first daughter Elizabeth and her second daughter Isabelle. She didn't think about the similarities in the sounds of the name (and with the striking "IZ" sound in both names, they DO sound very similar) and she didn't know that Isabelle is the Spanish form of Elizabeth. I knew that it was but didn't say anything as it wasn't my business. Since then, it has come to really bother her that the names are so similar - she didn't think of it when naming the second daughter Isabelle but now after saying their names so often over the years it bugs her a lot. Also along the way someone pointed out to her that Isabelle is basically the same name as Elizabeth, and she says that if she knew that at the time she wouldn't have named the second one Isabelle. I also have a brother who named one son John and another Shane. They also didn't know that Shane is a form of John. That doesn't bother them at all, but I know that even if the two names weren't related, I never would have used both as they sound very similar. I have 4 daughters and made an effort to name them very different sounding names so that they would be more individual. Growing up as a Pammy with a year-older sister named Patty, I always felt like I didn't have my own identity, so I tried not to do that to my own kids.
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11-01-2010 @ 8:53AM
AL said...It's not a huge deal, lots of people give their kids similar sounding or looking names that I think are worse than Elizabeth and Isabella. For isntance my cousin's twins Tim and Tom or my friend Paula and her brother Paul, those are just crazy to me.
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11-01-2010 @ 9:09AM
Sabrina said...I think both names are pretty, and to look at and pronounce either one is quite different. What's the big fuss? Better than George Forman who named all his sons George.
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11-01-2010 @ 9:34AM
Chester Borland said...At least it isn't as bad as George Foreman. 6 of his sons are named George.
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