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Welcome to Bizarro World Where Men Love to Do Housework
Filed under: In The News, Relationships
When men do housework, women weep with joy. Credit: Getty Images
Why not just give it to him?
That's it, baby! Oh yeah! Give him that mop and a bucket full of floor cleaner. Tell him you have a dirty, dirty kitchen and need a man to clean it. Then give him some laundry to sort, fluff and fold.
You know men. They love doing housework.
Actually, they do. Honest. They may seem happier lying on the couch watching TV in a pile of their own Cheetos, but British researchers say men are the most relaxed and the least stressed when they are equally sharing the household chores.
No, this is not the part when Rod Serling tells you that you just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
"The way we 'do' family has changed -- not only because mothers are more likely to go out to work, but also because today both mothers and fathers want close relationships with children as they are growing up," Dr. Caroline Gatrell of the Lancaster University management school and the lead researcher in the two-year study, tells the Guardian newspaper in London.
Gatrell and her team conducted the survey for the British charity Working Families. They tell the Guardian they hope their results will help shatter the myth among employers that women are the primary caregivers and must forever balance work and home.
Quite the opposite. Both men and women want to share the responsibilities of raising their children and taking care of their homes.
Gatrell and her team interviewed more than 1,100 working dads about how they combine work and family. A whopping 82 percent of the guys said they wanted to spend more time caring for their young children.
"It is becoming increasingly evident that the expectations that fathers have of the way and amount they are involved directly with their children is altering. Fathers want to spend more time with their children and are doing more of the direct care for them," Gatrell tells the Guardian.
But here's where it gets weird.
Interviews with the men revealed the more housework fathers do, the less stress they experience. Men also reported feeling better when their wives have full-time jobs and put in just as many hours as they do.
Weird, huh? People are apparently happiest when all the burdens -- professional and domestic -- are shared equally.
But employers still don't get it, Gatrell tells the Guardian. They continue to think women need to scurry home to take care of the little ones.
"This is creating a massive problem for both men and women," she tells the newspaper. "Women are having their careers blocked by employers who assume that, once children come along, their commitment to the workplace will be severely compromised. But the same myth is also disadvantaging men who find themselves being their child's main or only caregiver, because employers aren't offering them work-life balance choices. It is time workplace attitudes changed to recognize the massive changes that have taken place in family practices in the 21st century."
Despite all the shifting trends on the home front, Gatrell tells the Guardian, women still do most of the household chores, adding that it would help if employers gave men more flexible hours.
In the meantime, gals, show your guy you understand his needs.
Turn off the lamp. Light some scented candles. Pour the champagne. Then just relax while you send him off to the kitchen to take care of a sink full of dirty dishes.
Mmmm, dirty dishes. What man could resist?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-05-2010 @ 7:18PM
Sifrina said...Every couple has to determine what works for them, but I have one of those husbands that most women can't believe exists - he is happiest when cleaning the kitchen and a total hands-on dad. As a mom who works full time plus hours outside the house, I can't complain (even when his cleaning borders on obsessive compulsive and I can't find things). My husband has said he loves our arrangement and loves dividing and conquering all our household tasks (except cooking - that is not his favorite thing to do). Every couple is different but my husband would never want to be the sole breadwinner and I wouldn't want to be the sole cleaner and/or nurturer to our 8 year old son. We do all this together as a couple and I'm glad our son gets to see how we both get to do this day in and day out.
Reply
11-11-2010 @ 10:59AM
joanna said...housework should be shared. there shouldn't be your job, my job attitudes or the children will pick up on this too. just pitch in and be a family. help out where things need to be done and stop worrying so much about who takes the trash out and who does dishes. use Http://bit.ly/SavingIdeas to help keep family peace.
11-06-2010 @ 11:35AM
Veronica said...Of course household chores should be shared. But that's just us women talking. My husband is inept. The dishwasher? He piles them any-which-way disregarding all the niches arranged for sliding in the dishes. KItchen floor? He leaves it flooded with water that I have to mop up. The kids in their own home, say, "Hide the screwdrivers. Here comes Dad1"
Reply
11-07-2010 @ 8:55PM
Matt said...In the world outside of TV commercials -- that is, in Real Life -- men already do housework. Whether they "enjoy" it or not is immaterial: it has to be done. Mere acknowledgement of that fact in "mainstream" media would be something shockingly new.
Reply
11-07-2010 @ 11:01PM
dadako31 said...Both should lend a helping hand to make work and household chores a very easy task.
11-08-2010 @ 7:36AM
dadako31 said...both husband & wife should lend each other's hand to make the household chores easy and enjoyable. And through sharing, they will live more happily.
Reply
11-07-2010 @ 11:13PM
D said...Twenty five years ago my husband couldn't make the connection between helping with the new baby and the dishes, and me not being too exhausted for sex. That's why he's my ex. I'm glad men have gotten smarter.
Reply
11-08-2010 @ 12:08AM
sondbr said...Men may do some housework, but they have to be directed what to do. My husband wouldn't notice a dirty floor or stuff on the carpet without being told it needs to be cleaned up. And, sometimes it's just easier to do it myself. We've been married for 42 yrs. and he's of the old school where the wife does everything at home and guess I never broke him of that. That's why I never worked full-time because I knew all we'd do is fight over who would do what around the house. I feel that is still a BIG sore point in young marriages even today and causes a lot of divorces because the women are working full-time plus a full time job at home taking care of the home and kids. I don't expect my husband to LIKE doing housework, because I don't like it myself, but it has to be done.
Reply
11-08-2010 @ 1:41AM
Annedyth said...If your going to survive, you need to know things. Cooking, cleaning,
something about how to repair maintain, cars and places.
Change oil, sparkplugs, engine filter on car, Fix squeeks, and maintain parts of home. No matter what your sex...the more you know on what to do and how, the better off you'll be.
Reply
11-08-2010 @ 10:33AM
3boys said...I'm a guy and I don't mind the housework. What's the difference between a table saw and a dishwasher. Both machines right. I love using the kitchenaid mixer because it has a big heavy-duty motor. What's the difference between sweeping up sawdust and sweeping up cereal and crumbs. It all in how you look at it.
The other commentors are right that the media still follows the dated gender stereotypes. With this economy having been more punishing to men than women I'm seeing a lot more guys out shopping with young children. 7 or 8 years ago it was just me in the grocery with my toddlers. The men don't look comfortable in their role as caregivers but they really look like they are committed and nurturing to their little ones. I let them know they're doing great.
Last month I was checking out at Target with several 8-packs of paper towels and assorted cleaning supplies. The cash register printed up a few coupons it thought I would find useful but I really have no need for skin care products or feminine hygiene products. Obviously men don't buy cleaning products much unless they come from the hardware or automotive department.
Reply
11-10-2010 @ 10:05AM
Denise said...Household chores can become a challenge to manage for many new parents. Save time by sharing chores and supporting your partner with the housework, washing and ironing – this helps create time for you as a couple as well as giving you both more time with baby.
Denise Knowles, Pampers Village Parenting Panel Relationship Expert
Reply
10-10-2011 @ 10:32AM
anthony said...Women should never have to do housework unless they feel like it. They should train their partners to understand that menial tasks are not for Women to waste their time on. Whilst the man is cleaning, ironing and occupying his time with essential duties a Woman can be relaxing with friends and pursuing more appealing interests. Men must learn their place
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