Stepdaughter Disrespectful and Aggressive: What Can We Do?

Ms. Stifflemann: I didn't read anywhere in the article about the girls physical health. A lot of different things happen to girls that age. I would suggest you get her to a doctor and an endocrinologist, because imbalances in hormones can cause many unpleasant changes in young girls. If the problem is physical and is not caught in a short time frame, it can cause permanent damage to her body and mind. I would think that a psychological evaluation could be conducted at the same time.

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Give her that long overdue ass whipping, and keep them coming. She will get it.

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I just want to say how divorce has ruined a 9 yr old life. My boyfriends younger brother is dealing with his emotions but seperating himself from the rest of the world. I see him being upset and neither one of the parents see it. They are to busy being wrapped up in he said she said crap and trying to get at one another that they don't see him in emotional pain. The youngest one doesn't understand but he is a momma's boy and when she is gone for good he is going to realize to that she isn't coming back. Mom is up and taken off with another man and soon the dad is already seeing another women. The divorce isn't finalized yet. This family is such a mess. Any comments please respond @ sportyshorty2004@aol.com

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I so agree with you Jo. Thank you. I unfortunately am being divorced
by my husband of 31 years. Apparently he has cheated on me for years.
He travels and works out of town. When he confessed to me, he said
he wanted to come clean with GOD ! There is another woman. she is
divorcing her husband of 33 years because my husband makes alot of
money...her husband has called and told me this. Oh, she is very
religious! She is a flight attendent and see my husband on all his
flights, then takes him to bed after the flight. She flies the big
"D". My part for reading this article is I have two grown
sons.....They are hurting as much and the 11 year ol girl. They have
not spoken to their father since last Christmas Eve when he moved out.
We are expecting our first Grand child which nobody has told grandpa
about. My husband does not want to be rid of his sons. Just Me.

I thought we had the perfect marriage and were looked upon by our
community as Cinderella & prince charming...He fooled all of us!! I
do still have love for him(I know I shouldn't) I told him at the
begining of the mess, that I would forgive and forget his mistakes.
He is not willing to give up the girlfriend....I am 55yo, she is 53yo.
Her name is Diane Coleman. If he came walking back to me now, I am
not sure I could give him a second chance, since he has not been
willing to give me one and he has been trying to push me away for so
long.

You know, for as long as this has gone on, we get along perfect when
we are together. I can still see Love for me in his eyes as the tears
flow.

Please pray for us.

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I love Hamburgers!

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She should had whipping while she was smaller and she would know better to act like that now. It gets harder to control children the older they get so if you start while they are young teaching them and spanking them when they do wrong then they will not be doing this kind of stuff. But if you let them go the older they get the harder it is to control them. You see they are like a tree, when it is young you can bend it the way you want it, as it get older and bigger you can still bend it but it's harder, then it gets old and bigger then you can not move it. So you have to start while they are young as soon as they are big enough to do wrong they are big enough to be teached and spanked.This girl is not to big yet that a good old fashion whipping will not fix.

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This is typical. A divorcee has a child that acts out and blames the child. The child has just been through the most traumatic event of her life and adults expect her to just deal with it. Every step-parent I have ever met handles the spouse's children incorrectly and then wonders why they act out. You have just ruined this child's life as she knows it and expect them to be fine with it? Please. You're an adult and you couldn't deal with your marriage, so how should a child be expected to deal with the effects of divorce and a new woman entering her life with new rules and boundaries? People need to get real and stop being so selfish. "Oooh the child is acting out and affecting MY life!" What about what you did to affect her life?

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This should never happen in the first place since it is a sin to marry and then split the children up. People need to plan their future and how many kids they want to have but of course todays morals are a shamble since we now have a president who lies, steals and more than likely will divorce after he is voted out in 2012. Good Christians need to stick together and fight this evil that is trying to take over.

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Stepdaughter is a brat. She has been undisciplined for too long. A spanking when whe was 3 is what was neglected. She belongs with her mother. Done deal. Why was she with her father instead of her mother? And why were the mother and father not together? Sex got boring? Marriage is more than sex. Too bad parents can't take their vows more seriously.

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Disrespectful and hitting me !!!! I think not !! What is needed here is some good old fashioned displine !!! Like a good spanking, along with some love would go a long way. I would have NEVER disrepcted my parents like that.......I would have my bottom spanked in a heartbeat !! Along with an "I love You, a hug and an explanation as to why I got the spanking. Oh...I can hear the "modern day parents" now....spank a child !!!! There is a difference in a good old fashioned spanking and child abuse though.

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Oh yeah sure let her stay at her Mom's . Ezactly what this spoiled little brat wants. What she needs is a foot in her azz. This DSS don't spank your child attitude is ruining this country. When I was a kid 40 years ago when we acted up we got a foot in the azz from our teachers , and oour parents . And if you look at the average age of these people committing crimes today I think you'll see that most of our generation turned out just fine .

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the trouble here is .why is this child hurting over this so badly . how is the girl acting with the mother . she must be blaming dad. if theres no reason for it .then they should sit an talk to her. ask her whats wrong .let her vent .

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Be her best friend.
Tell her she's a great buddy.
Praise her lavishly and expect others to do the same.
"Ask" her to do things.
Give her everything she wants.
Home school her.
Put her on Prozac or Ritalin.
Make her think she is the center of the universe.
And split up her family because you can't find a way to make it work.

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Here is what you do, Dad needs to beat her little a$$ and then ground her until she learns some respect, manners and how to behave. Thats the problem with kids nowadays, Spare the rod spoil the child, has worked for hundreds of years. Now with all these bleeding heart, anti spanking idiots out there, the children nowadays are out of control.
I was spanked and disciplined has a child and so were my kids and so are their kids and no one around here disrespects anyone or curses at anyone...

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has anyone considered she has an emotional disorder like bipolar?

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Certain types of brain injuries can cause a "lack of impulse control" issue that is truly a disability. Talk therapists and psychologists generally have ABSOLUTELY NO BACKGROUND in the symptoms of a traumatic brain injury, and will therefore incorrectly diagnose it as a personality disorder.

DISABILITY means there is not any ability. So trying harder will not work.

Children are most likely to have been denied appropriate diagnostic care if and when they were in a vehicle accident. The adults might get the brainscans for diagnosis, but not the kids.

I have a tbi -- my point of impact was the left temple, which caused damage to the prefrontal cortex, which is the higher thinking skills part of the brain. The prefrontal cortex also inhibits the emotional outbursts of the limbic system. If damaged, the prefrontal cortex might not be capable of that inhibition, so the outbursts happen instantly, without a build up usually.

If this child has suffered a brain injury and CANNOT control her outbursts, then it would truly be cruel to approach this from a discipline-problem perspective. And it won't work.

If this child has possibly suffered a brain injury sometime in the past, then the parents should do their utmost to get the child proper care. An MRI or CAT scan might not show the brain injury. Some brain injuries are on the axonal level, so they would not appear unless in a 3-tessla MRI, or perhaps a SPECT scan, which shows damages to the blood flow. The SPECT would cost about $3K but you don't need anybody's referral. Cerescan in Denver does this.

The 3-tessla MRI has been hailed for its ability to see axonal sheering and distinguish between that and ADHD. There are two in Colorado: One in Greeley and one in Lafayette. Good luck getting a referral.

People need to know that the "tort reform" push describing itself as cost control of doctors doing cya, is actually a push to also limit expensive diagnostic testing such as brain scans.

Currently, if two parents and two kids are in an auto accident, the children commonly do not receive appropriate diagnostic testing. The adults might be mentally confused if they also suffered a brain injury or insult to the head.

Commonly, children are then dumped into special ed where they might receive treatment according to symptoms, but if the brain injury is appropriately diagnosed, then damaged learning pathways can be avoided and remaining learning pathways targeted.

I produce Brainiacs, a public access tv show on brain injury, found at www.denveropenmedia.org/project/6254/shows. The show labeled KIDSTBI includes Judy Dettmer, a CSU researcher, now director of Colorado's brain injury trust fund, speaking on this exact subject.

Talk therapists don't always know what they are talking about.

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