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Strangers Won't Help a Child Being Abducted? Really?
Filed under: In The News
Oh, how morning TV cares!
Recently a friend forwarded me this fake abduction. It was staged for "The Today Show" about a year ago and filmed bystanders not jumping in to "save" the girl (actually a 7-year-old hired to act the part of victim).
Why is this the exact opposite of the helpful, insightful segment the show pretends that it is, while peddling fear and sensationalism instead? Let me count the ways:
1. The girl is abducted by a stranger. And yet, in reality, the vast majority of child abductions are perpetrated by family members, often in custody disputes. So already the story is misdirecting viewers' attention from abuse close at home to the much less prevalent stranger danger.
And let's remember that when we start fearing strangers, we yank our kids inside and lock the doors, leading to a loss of community involvement -- the very situation "The Today Show" is crying crocodile tears about.
2. The very fact that the girl is abducted is unlikely. Abductions are rare beyond belief. The FBI statistics we have say that about 115 children are involved in "stereotypical" kidnappings a year. (i.e. a child is kidnapped and driven off by strangers.) Compare that to the approximately 2,000 kids a year who are killed as car passengers. Why didn't "The Today Show" spend its six minutes truly helping to save lives by teaching viewers a lesson on defensive driving?
3. The scenario is unrealistic. In this "staged abduction," the child is just standing idly on the sidewalk in the commercial part of town when suddenly a man runs up and yanks her arm, saying, "Come on, get going!" or words to that effect. She yells, "You're not my father! Help!"
The problem is, because abduction is so rare -- and any abductor who chooses his victim in full view of the public is rarer still (and stupid!) -- it actually made sense for the onlookers to assume the child had eluded her dad who, upon finding her, was angry and grabbed her to take her back home.
Similarly, if I saw a child in the park yelling, "Help! I've been bitten by a lion! Help!" chances are, I wouldn't believe her. So rather than castigating these onlookers as heartless jerks, one could consider them parents who have had a bad day once or twice with their own kids, and know a thing or two about overly dramatic children.
4. If there were so many crimes like this happening all the time, "The Today Show" wouldn't have to stage them.
So at the end of this segment, most viewers are left with the idea that brazen kidnappers are abducting children off the streets willy-nilly, and it is only our callousness that is allowing this horrible crime to continue unabated.
Thanks for the enlightenment, guys!
Recently a friend forwarded me this fake abduction. It was staged for "The Today Show" about a year ago and filmed bystanders not jumping in to "save" the girl (actually a 7-year-old hired to act the part of victim).
Why is this the exact opposite of the helpful, insightful segment the show pretends that it is, while peddling fear and sensationalism instead? Let me count the ways:
1. The girl is abducted by a stranger. And yet, in reality, the vast majority of child abductions are perpetrated by family members, often in custody disputes. So already the story is misdirecting viewers' attention from abuse close at home to the much less prevalent stranger danger.
And let's remember that when we start fearing strangers, we yank our kids inside and lock the doors, leading to a loss of community involvement -- the very situation "The Today Show" is crying crocodile tears about.
2. The very fact that the girl is abducted is unlikely. Abductions are rare beyond belief. The FBI statistics we have say that about 115 children are involved in "stereotypical" kidnappings a year. (i.e. a child is kidnapped and driven off by strangers.) Compare that to the approximately 2,000 kids a year who are killed as car passengers. Why didn't "The Today Show" spend its six minutes truly helping to save lives by teaching viewers a lesson on defensive driving?
3. The scenario is unrealistic. In this "staged abduction," the child is just standing idly on the sidewalk in the commercial part of town when suddenly a man runs up and yanks her arm, saying, "Come on, get going!" or words to that effect. She yells, "You're not my father! Help!"
The problem is, because abduction is so rare -- and any abductor who chooses his victim in full view of the public is rarer still (and stupid!) -- it actually made sense for the onlookers to assume the child had eluded her dad who, upon finding her, was angry and grabbed her to take her back home.
Similarly, if I saw a child in the park yelling, "Help! I've been bitten by a lion! Help!" chances are, I wouldn't believe her. So rather than castigating these onlookers as heartless jerks, one could consider them parents who have had a bad day once or twice with their own kids, and know a thing or two about overly dramatic children.
4. If there were so many crimes like this happening all the time, "The Today Show" wouldn't have to stage them.
So at the end of this segment, most viewers are left with the idea that brazen kidnappers are abducting children off the streets willy-nilly, and it is only our callousness that is allowing this horrible crime to continue unabated.
Thanks for the enlightenment, guys!
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-16-2010 @ 1:38PM
lisa noel said...It may not be common, and I agree that a child would have to be very obviously in fear for me to not assume it was just a bratty moment. BUT I don't think its smart to dismiss the realness of abductions. Our children need to know what to do if someone tries this. Personally I know two young girls whom were victims of attempted abduction. Thank God they both knew to make lots of noise and get away! Both of these girls experiences were on the side of the road without anyone directly around them, so the crowded sidewalk might be an unrealistic scenario but "willy nilly" abduction attempts in broad day light are not!
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11-16-2010 @ 6:08PM
Hunnyshere said...Only 115 kids. That says it all about this article. Yeah just 115 molested and possibly dead kids a year, that's all. It doesn't deserve attention. Adam Walsh was taken from Sears in the daytime! Aton Patz was walking to the bus stop in the daytime. Most stranger abductions are at school bus stops or kids walking to school in the daytime. The whole point is BE AWARE. Listen to what kids are saying whether it's on the street, in your home or in the classroom, REALLY listen when kids are crying. Don't spend your life in selfish mode. Be a part of society. Don't dismiss this important topic with some useless (and stupid!) article. By your logic, 2hy don't we all stop watching our kids and let them run willy nilly and see if they end up one of the 115! Be glad YOURS is not one of the 115!
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11-17-2010 @ 7:26AM
Alicia said...What it sounds to me like Lenore is trying to say is, we allow our fear of "stranger danger" to remove us from the community. We don't interact as much with our neighbors as we did in the past, we don't talk to people we don't know in the grocery store or get to know random people in our community. That opens the child to more danger, because they won't go to a strange adult if someone's trying to abduct them and there won't be as many people looking out for them. Most people are not out to grab kids, but we act like they are and that poses as much danger to our kids as the child-grabbers. People thought my mom was crazy, letting me run wild around the neighborhood and go into neighbors' houses with them for cookies or lemonade or whatnot, especially since most of my neighbors didn't have kids. However, I had an entire neighborhood looking out for me (and informing my mother when I did something wrong). Then, one day, a man tried to grab me off the street early in the morning after I'd run out of the house looking for my father cause he'd gone to work without giving me a kiss goodbye. He tried to talk me into getting into his car and one of my neighbors overheard from her kitchen where she was making coffee and quickly ran outside, grabbed me, dragged me into her house and called my mother. THAT is why it takes a village to raise a child and that is why Lenore is warning against "stranger danger."
11-19-2010 @ 4:31PM
coach George said...Got to STRONGLY agree with Alicia. Bad/Evil has a strong dynamic for it hurts the victom and those around them... the press though Spreads this to a wider group affecting even more. Child Safe businesses hype it for biz purpose spreading the effects even more.... now the effect of the one bad/evil event is causing worse damage than the orginal small group and victom. The damage for example..... men do NOT become teachers and coaches and are leaving those professions in droves. We worry about good male role models at home...... and are chasing them out of other means of providing kids with male role models.
Other examples... we are teaching ALL children to distrust men. Opening them up to more strongly consider becoming "by choice" lesbians/bisexuals further weakening the typical family structure.
Men/fathers leave home for the night stay at friends or hotels when their children have sleep over guest. Fear of accusations is why.
We are creating a society where children are raised only in the woman's perspective where study after study shows a BALANCED perspective of male and female mindsets and role models is markedly better. We are letting ONE BAD apple spoil the whole bunch. WE MUST STOP THIS.
Life is a game of odds... you over do it in one area and rather you see it or not.... your simply causing other issues possibly larger ones in another. NO matter what one does...Life is tuff game of odds...odds dictate good comes with bad... life can stink between the good times. Why, god forbid are we adding more stink to things by our own hands when life makes enough stink for us all on its own???
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11-20-2010 @ 11:51PM
Patty said...The point of the article was about how people react, not how common abuductions are. So you're missing the point. And is it alarming that no one does anything? Yes it is. Is it alarming that you wouldn't either? Very.
This isn't made up. It's horrifying. Who cares about how exact the replication is? What a ridiculous aspect to pick apart. Okay, so it's not precisely how it happens? Well, it's not that far off either, and the fact that people don't stop it is horrifying.
And, even if it only happened 10 times a year, people would be worried about it and be alarmed. The holocaust only happened once. Should we not talk about it. I mean... it almost never happens right?
It's about possibility, not probability. Anyway,of course more kids die in cars. We all laboriously strap our kids in car seats every single ride, as a result. I don't think anyone is overlooking that. So are you pointing the finger the media for covering something as supposedly silly and alarmist as something truly horrifying that actually happens every day. What a waste of time.
This commentary is completely dumb, nit picking, and missing the big picture.
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11-21-2010 @ 9:27AM
Jim said...It isn't surprizing at all. I watch certain ethnic groups stand around and watch as a violent suspect is apprehended by a policeman. Even after the suspect fight thr cop and tries to steal his gun to shoot at the cop. Nothing surprizes me.
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11-23-2010 @ 4:02PM
ross said...This is why I hate morning talk shows. Their "stories" are about making up fear. "Hidden fears on the playground". "Surprising dangers in the kitchen." "Sarah Palin could be President." Well, that last one is something to be scared of, though.
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11-24-2010 @ 3:37PM
Micheal said...This is an invalid argument. 115 children is 115 children. Does it happen less than other crimes? Sure. But _I_ was almost abducted by strangers when I was younger. It happens. And unless we can get children and parents to react appropriately to this and other threats, then I see no reason for TV shows to not point out the problem of bystanders not responding.
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11-24-2010 @ 4:49PM
Jason said...Lenore Skenazy you are a fool.
How can you defend people that refused to help. You are a coward. What was the girl supposed to say? "help I know this is very uncommon but I REALLY am being kidnapped now".
You are what's wrong with America today. So sure you are going to be fooled by someone you would watch a child be kidnapped right in front of you. The story was about cognitive dissonance, not kidnapping.
Jason Blonde
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11-24-2010 @ 4:49PM
Jason said...Lenore Skenazy you are a fool.
How can you defend people that refused to help. You are a coward. What was the girl supposed to say? "help I know this is very uncommon but I REALLY am being kidnapped now".
You are what's wrong with America today. So sure you are going to be fooled by someone you would watch a child be kidnapped right in front of you. The story was about cognitive dissonance, not kidnapping.
Jason Blonde
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11-24-2010 @ 6:46PM
Dianne Smith said...It depends upon the situation of whom you’re trusting to take care of your kid. However we should watch out for strangers and not to trust anybody else whom you didn’t know to take charge of your love one’s. As a parent security is our main concern, it is our responsibility to monitor the safety of our children when they are away from us. I enrolled my kids to a safety program that enable to protect them wherever they go by giving my kids a clear assessment of the danger in their current location so they can avoid it and the safety solutions for my kids: safekidzone.com
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11-26-2010 @ 6:22AM
temple said...I suspect the words she used had as much to do with lack of intervention than anything - 'You're not MY daddy" is something I've heard more than once while raising 9 kids biologically not mine. I'm sure many other men have been in the same situtation.
Now 'Stop, I don't know you' may have attracted more attention / assistance. Unless the kid is being physically injured, I doubt I would ever intervene in response to "You're not my father".
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11-28-2010 @ 3:51PM
Invisus said...If the author here is insinuating that the "stranger abductions" are almost unheard of, I must digress! The screaming child stranger abduction scenario just played itself out very recently in my neck of the woods and it was the quick action of bystanders which interrupted the attempted abduction and put the perp on the run! Yes, I am well aware of the brat resisting the parents because he/she is being "difficult" on that given day as well as custody disputes? This attempted abduction was thwarted because the bystanders in this case were intelligent enough to discern that the child was in all likelihood NOT the related to the would-be abductor which proved to be true! I am not convinced however, that bystanders, even when they recognize that a child is being abducted by a stranger will ALWAYS intervene unfortunately? There have been a number of murders, rapes and other heinous crimes which may have been prevented by the intercession of bystanders, but for any number of reasons the bystanders chose not to intervene and in some cases became interested "spectators" or urged the perpetrators on as they committed the crime (this happened in several cases where a girl/woman was gang raped)? Personally, I don't comprehend how a bystander could witness a heinous crime and not do whatever they could to stop the perpetrators even if it puts them at some risk, but that's just my own ethical view? I would rather explain to God why I took the action I did, in the event I was killed trying to prevent another person from coming to harm, than wait 60 years or so and try to explain why I didn't do something? Again, it's your choice?
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11-28-2010 @ 4:03PM
Invisus said...Only 115 missing children? ONE missing child is too many!!! That number is what the FBI has confirmed and the result is known! When you dig into the issue and get past the sensationalism and news reports you find that that number is actually MUCH higher! What you don't hear about, is all the kids who have just simply vanished under unknown circumstances and/or all the unidentified child skeletons and bodies? When you see all those missing kids posters at your local Walmart it adds up to much more than 115 missing children! This problem is like an iceberg with it's sheer enormity just under the surface? When a society allows the welfare and lives of children to become a "non-issue" what does that say about the future of that society?
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12-03-2010 @ 2:41PM
Wil said...This is one of the most stupid articles I've read in some time. Everything was used in this spin but the kitchen sink. Family member might kidnap kids, kidnapping is rare, the act was staged, there are other crimes...
Let's get a grip on a few things. I get reports of children abucted all the time, and it most often is not the result of a custody dispute. The survival rate of kids once in a car with their abductor is just barely above 0%. So, while we don't have kidnappings every day, for some reason I still take the matter seriously. Yes, there are other crimes, which has nothing whatsoever to do with this. That's like saying there are other concerns besides starvation. While true, it's idiotic in the extreme. And, whether staged or not, it made the point that the average person will look on in shock and think "someone should do something" rather than getting invovled and risking their own safety for a stranger. It's a good point, and useful to know when you're teaching your kids about stranger danger.
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12-05-2010 @ 3:19PM
Hello Kitty said...i will not help a child in need, on the street or in the mall... last time i tried to help a lost child the mother was histerically screaming at me for abducting her child and she assaulted me.. so no..look after your own damn kids/.
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12-19-2010 @ 10:25AM
Tyr said...I can see both sides of the issue here, and it's our own darned faults that it is this way. As a society, we want easy answers with easy solutions to keep bad things from happening. The media 'helps' by illustrating all the horrible things that happen. Bystanders don't help the child being abducted. Did they try to point out why? That we have become afraid to help because if we're wrong, we're condemned as a horrible person? If parents were allowed to discipline children, there may not be such a prevalence of the 'brats' who will use the 'You are not my Daddy' card in public to manipulate their parents into giving in so no one thinks the parents are some horrible monster, and people may not assume it's a brat. Maybe the kid wasn't a good actor. If there was real fear, I bet someone would have done something. Or those bystanders aren't parents so wouldn't recognize a kid in trouble unless they were bleeding profusely in front of them. :P Instead of bashing the author of this article, bash the talk show who is sensationalizing abductions and making people afraid instead of educating why such things as bystanders not helping victims happens. Children need to learn why they should not to cry wolf, and taken to task when they do. Adults need to learn to be part of a community again and not be punished when they try.
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1-05-2011 @ 12:14PM
Alli said...Does it really matter if it was staged or not? Does it really matter whether most abductions are by someone the child knows? An abduction is an abduction...and the pain that flows from people standing around doing nothing is unimaginable.
I have people in my family who I have told my son are not good people and who he should NEVER go with, no matter what. We have a security word between us, so that if I can't come get him, he knows the person I send is actually there on my request. But that doesn't cover someone trying to take him off the street, the pool or from the mall....or a dozen other places where he might be vulnerable. Predators DO exist.
I guess this scenario doesn't matter unless it is your child, Lenore, and the event is real. I pray you nor any other parent has to go through that.
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