I'm the Victim of a Baby Name Thief!

When I was young, my BFF & I would dream about our weddings (we would be each other's maid/matron of honor, depending on who got married first), our children (my friend was adamant that she would name her daughter "Sapphire Diamond" and if she had a second one, it would be "Ruby Jade"), & that we would live in the same town, our kids could go to the same schools & they would grow up together as BFFs. Well, none of that happened. Now we are casual acquaintances (neither of us was in the other's wedding party, we did not live in the same town, & have only started speaking to each other on a "How-are-you?" basis after a big blow-up regarding her method of visiting unannounced, staying for 6 or so hours on end & expecting ME to entertain & discipline her children, not to mention feed them several snacks & meals). I am relieved to say that she did not name either of her children the aforementioned names (as far as I know, they are still up for grabs if people want them, lol). Her daughter was named "Caressa" (reminds me of the bath soap) & her son was named for his father, with the middle name being that of a Japanese film director (the boy's father was the fourth in a line of males with the same name & my friend was adamant about not having her son be the fifth; good thing, I guess, as she ended up divorcing the guy after he cheated & abused her).

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This article got me thinking about how I was named....its kind of a unique story and really puts this naming business at a new level. When my parents married, they had a specific name picked out should they have a girl. Well 10 years later, my mom was 8 1/2 months pregnant and my dad came home from work. He comes up to my mom and said, "Honey, I know we decided on X for the baby if it's a girl, but I just can't do it." My mom, hormones probably not helping, was like, what do you mean? My dad said there was a woman at work with the same name and he couldn't stand her. To make matters worse, there was another woman at work who named her daughter the same name and he couldn't stand her either! So my parents were up all night. My mom wanted Erica and my dad wanted April (my given name). So I'm born, still the argument continued. I am known as baby girl X for for six weeks! This was back in the days where they let you leave without out naming the baby and you processed the birth certificate. So six weeks go by, people are calling to ask how Erica/April is doing. So finally the state calls my mom and was like, "Mam, have you decided on a name for your daughter?" and my mom replied no, we are still deciding. The state worker was like, "You have 2 days to name your child or we are naming her for you!", my mom called back to tell them April. Here's the great part, my dad remarried several years later, he and his wife had my first sister....and she is named the exact name that my mom and dad had picked out and he had such issues with it! He likes to deny this story, I just pull out my birth certificate, processed 6 weeks from the time I was born!

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Some people take ownership over names (most aren't that unusual) like they have a copyright on them, which is just irrational. Why try to restrict people you KNOW from naming their children when there are many other STRANGERS in the world who are free to name their kids this "chosen" name? Chances are unless it's really unusual, the kids are going to end up in school / activities / neighborhood with a kid by the same name eventually. Some people, at least in my case, are too self absorbed to think of the big picture...

As luck would have it my husband and I had an easy time agreeing on boy names but couldn't agree on girl names... and we ended up having girls! I had a relative tell me NOT to name my daughter what I wanted because she already had a niece by that name (no relation to us) and didn't want to have to bother clarifying which child she was referring to. I ignored her and named my daughter what I wanted.

Years later a distant cousin and this same relative were due with girls at the same time. The cousin gave birth first and it turns out named her daughter what this relative of mine wanted, so she named her kid something different. The thing is, she sees this cousin once a year at MOST, and what's even crazier is the baby name is popular. I just don't get refraining from a name because once a year there's a family gathering where your kid will be in the presence of a same named kid for what, 4 hours? Especially a popular name? Oh the "horror"! (eyeroll)

And to top it off - she named her sons using "our" top boy names. So apparently she has no problem using other people's names as long in her mind she gets to them "first." I'm glad we didn't have to deal with the whole boy naming decisions after all because it would have been annoying to deal with her.

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Came on this article by accident... wish I hadn't now but had to chime in. OMFG, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!???!!! Naming your child is a big deal but this misses the point in a total Jersey Shore level of mental numbness. Nice to know that so many have time to worry about crap like this. I'm going to poke myself in the eye with an ice pick now. It's a more productive use of my time.

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Grow Up and Get Over It!

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There's an old solution to the "two kids in the same family" having the same name, for anybody who is worried about confusion.

Say Mary has a daughter named Jennifer. Mary's cousin Martha also has a daughter named Jennifer.

In case of confusion (at least until the kids have decided on entirely different nicknames...): Mary's Jennifer and Martha's Jennifer.

See? Not so hard.

My mother gave me what she thought was an unusual name. There were four of us in 1st grade - which was helpful, I could pretend I didn't know I was being called on while I tried to find where the class was in reading those silly Dick and Jane stories!

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I know a man whose second wife named their daughter THE SAME NAME as one of his daughters from his first marriage. Wife #2 claimed it "had always been her favourite girl name." There is an unmistakable passive aggressiveness to this behavior, but...PICK ANOTHER NAME, for that imaginary child who doesn't yet even exist, that you may or may not ever have...MOVE AWN.

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Wow....I come from a large Italian family and all ALL the first born boys are named Vincent or Joseph and all the first born girls are either Antoinette or Maria. Most of us have a cousin born within months of each other and no one ...except me (lol) has a name that another cousin doesn't have! My mom was the only "American" wife so I got a nice English name that still comes out like Joey (I'm a girl.) with the Italian accent mixed in. Seriously, it is tradition you name your first born after grandpa, whether or not your brother/sister and their spouse beat you to it! No big deal, you just have to say "Vinny - Uncle Tony's/ Sam's, Russell's, etc...son" when you talk about someone!

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Eh, I can see being a little irritated about name stealing. I like the name Wren for a girl. I told a lady in my office and she ended up naming her daughter Lindsay Wren. I knew it wasn't a name she had been thinking about. It irritated me, but when I had twin girls, I still named one of them Wren.

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This happened in my extended family. Three siblings grew up on a large family farm. When the kids grew up, they were each given a plot of land to build their houses on. Two brothers lived directly across the street from each other. They both married, and by chance were expecting their first children around the same time. Both expected a girl, and names were chosen in advance. Madison and Abigail. Madison Jane Jones was born first. A few weeks later came Abigail. only her parents liked Baby Maddie's name so much, they decided not to name her Abigail, but Madeline! And yes, Madeline Jane Jones. Oh how the fireworks flew. Madeline's parents insisted they hadn't stolen the name, Madeline was very different from Madison, anyone could see that. Both couples insisted on calling their daughters "Maddie". So two girls grew up, both called Maddie jones, riding the same bus to school, attending the same school, same grade, occasionally the same class. Yes, it was a headache for everyone.

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or just name your next kid that anyways. that's what we do. we actually tell people that too, and it seems to discourage any "theivery"

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If the child is a male, you could add "Sr." to the end of your child's name. This would send a message to the other mother that she would have to live with-- forever! A female could be named very similarly to the stolen name by perhaps changing a few letters. Maybe Emilie, Emili or Emilee instead of Emily. This slightly altered spelling could, also, work for a boys name.

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Seriously!?!?!? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? I have a Liam and a Sean and we have other Seans in my family, mine being last and I never heard anyone have an issue.We also have multiple Jacks, Claires, Christophers, Elizabeths, Marys, Davids, Glens and so on..My Grandpa's middle name is Emerson and that is a pretty trendy name lately, my cousin thought about using it as did I, we were pregnant within a month of each other and neither of us ended up using it and neither of us were bitter about it if we both had. I come from a family that has every Irish name taken and if I were to use any other ones, my family member would be honered not possesive or childish. I actually planned on naming my first son Keegan from the time I was 20 because I heard someone say it, I ended up using it as a middle name for one of my twins. The other is Liam Adam and I actually had a coworker get pissed at me because "that was the name she wanted for her son" I am 10 yrs older, married and was actually pregnant, she wasn't even dating anyone!!Not to mention I never heard her mention it EVER and I planned on using that for about 15 years as well..I told her we could both use is and she was annoyed..I mean really? I don't even know where that girl is and imagine if I had forfeited a name I really loved because she was being a child?

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