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Teacher Assigns Extra Credit Project for 6th Graders: Grow Up
Filed under: Opinions, Development: Big Kids, Development: Tweens
The sixth graders in Joanna Drusin's English class get a strange assignment every year: If they want to, for extra credit, they can grow up.
Oh, she doesn't call it that. The New York City teacher calls it the "Do Something on Your Own" project. Her idea is that, by age 11, kids are capable of a lot more than they're usually allowed to do. They can walk to school. They can make dinner. They can (I remind myself when my 12-year-old is lolling in bed) get themselves up without a million, "COME ON!"s.
But a lot of the time we don't make (or let) our kids do these things because we think they're not ready. This project changes all that -- and more.
I went to Drusin's class last week to read the students' papers on their projects. It turns out several kids had made dinner -- including one girl who overcame about 19 hurdles at once. "My mom's really protective," she explained. "So I'm not allowed in the kitchen."
"How do you get your snacks?" asked a fellow student.
"She gives them to me," the girl said, blushing. For the sake of the project, however, her mom let her enter the sanctum sanctorum and stir some corn soup.
"How was it?" someone asked.
"Awful!" But the taste of freedom -- delicious.
Another boy understood her predicament precisely: "I live down the street and my parents still walk me to school! And I still have a babysitter!" He cringed. His parents had not let him do the extra credit project. He'd asked if he could walk to school by himself.
Other parents, however, gave their blessing and the kids wrote of their excitement buying groceries, or even just walking around the neighborhood on their own (sweet freedom!). One boy proudly caught a city bus only to realize he was going the wrong direction. He panicked! "I practically screamed at the bus driver!" he says. But somehow he managed to hold it in, get off, and go back in the right direction.
Now he keeps that paper bus transfer in his wallet, the way you'd press a rose from your first dance. It reminds him of a failure and of a success, but mostly it reminds him of the day he grew up.
We all want our kids to grow confident and responsible. Maybe a "Grow Up" project is what they need.
Oh, she doesn't call it that. The New York City teacher calls it the "Do Something on Your Own" project. Her idea is that, by age 11, kids are capable of a lot more than they're usually allowed to do. They can walk to school. They can make dinner. They can (I remind myself when my 12-year-old is lolling in bed) get themselves up without a million, "COME ON!"s.
But a lot of the time we don't make (or let) our kids do these things because we think they're not ready. This project changes all that -- and more.
I went to Drusin's class last week to read the students' papers on their projects. It turns out several kids had made dinner -- including one girl who overcame about 19 hurdles at once. "My mom's really protective," she explained. "So I'm not allowed in the kitchen."
"How do you get your snacks?" asked a fellow student.
"She gives them to me," the girl said, blushing. For the sake of the project, however, her mom let her enter the sanctum sanctorum and stir some corn soup.
"How was it?" someone asked.
"Awful!" But the taste of freedom -- delicious.
Another boy understood her predicament precisely: "I live down the street and my parents still walk me to school! And I still have a babysitter!" He cringed. His parents had not let him do the extra credit project. He'd asked if he could walk to school by himself.
Other parents, however, gave their blessing and the kids wrote of their excitement buying groceries, or even just walking around the neighborhood on their own (sweet freedom!). One boy proudly caught a city bus only to realize he was going the wrong direction. He panicked! "I practically screamed at the bus driver!" he says. But somehow he managed to hold it in, get off, and go back in the right direction.
Now he keeps that paper bus transfer in his wallet, the way you'd press a rose from your first dance. It reminds him of a failure and of a success, but mostly it reminds him of the day he grew up.
We all want our kids to grow confident and responsible. Maybe a "Grow Up" project is what they need.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
12-28-2010 @ 11:49AM
julie subotky said...Love this! When I think about it from an adult perspective - when I figure something out on my own - whatever it takes - the end result is always so much more fulfilling than if someone did it for me. I watch my tiny son when he is able to do things on his own (climb up onto a chair or feed himself) and he is so thrilled when he successfully does it all by himself. There is power in allowing kids to do things on their own. Call it Growing up or call it promoting confidence. Sounds like the kids in the article were all up for the challenge!
Reply
12-28-2010 @ 8:42PM
Gail Huddleston said...I recently let my 14 year old with high functioning autism walk the 8 blocks to the grocery store. He asked a clerk to help him find the one thing he couldn't find and came home with everything on the list and remembered to give me the change. He was very proud of himself as was I. This may be no big deal to your average 14 year old, but for my son it was a huge step.
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12-28-2010 @ 10:12PM
Alicia said...Not cooing dinner at 11? Dear god, parents really are over protective. I understand not leaving a pre-teen home alone for hours unattended, but I was a latchkey kid at 11 (only 9 years ago) and I'd get home from school and make dinner or it would've been forever before my mom and I ate. As for walking to school, in my old district, if you were in middle or high school (11+) and lived within a mile and a half radius of the school, you had to either walk or get a ride, no buses. I think it was a good idea. I also think it's important for parents to let kids use public transportation young. Maybe not 11 but 13 is definitely old enough and a teenager should be using the city bus.
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12-29-2010 @ 11:53AM
linda said...This is brilliant! But why should it stop in the classroom?
How could this be extended into the home? As a requirement for school or even a community group effort to allow your children to do something on their own even once every month? As parents become more comfortable with the concept, it could become a weekly thing.. then a daily thing... until your children are on their way to becoming self-sufficient.
Then again, it likely wouldn't work. The first time a single child injured themselves under this premise, the entire country would flip out. One step forward, two steps back.
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12-30-2010 @ 7:21PM
Anthony said...My son is 8 years old, will be 9 in February.
He walks/bikes/skateboards the 1/2 to and from school each day.
He walks/bikes to martial arts lessons twice a week, after dark.
He religiously wears his helmet and turns on his front and back lights as needed.
After school, he has the choice of going to the playground by himself so long as he is home by dark.
He has even gone to the laundrymat a block away to do his own laundry (even after someone called the cops to report an "abandoned" kid who was --GASP-- being self-responsible)
He routinely goes to Walgreen's, corner stores, the nearby Jama Juice, and even Peets (for cocoa) on his own.
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12-30-2010 @ 7:26PM
Anthony said...Forgot to mention, last summer he checked himself out of summer camp and biked the 8-10 blocks to his grandparents' house where we locked up his bike, checked in, played at the playground across from their house for a while, then rode another 8 blocks to meet me at his favorite local burger joint for dinner.
He also took himself to summer camp in the mornings, a distance of about 3 miles, under his own navigation and making his own decisions about when and how to cross streets. I shadowed him from about 100 yards away but he made all his own choices.
All of this in an urban residential setting. AND he consistently gets praise from camp counselors, teachers, friends' parents, relatives, and even total strangers about how mature, polite, independent, rational, etc. he is. All because I let him actually use the brain that millions of years of evolution (or God if that's your cup of tea) gave him.
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12-30-2010 @ 10:22PM
Michelle said...What a brilliant teacher! I wonder if I could pull this off with my 7th and 8th graders.
As a side note, I can't believe the one 6th grader wasn't even allowed in the kitchen, that is way beyond over-protective. My 2 and 3 year old help me in the kitchen all the time. They even got an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas.
While I had starting cooking with my parents around age 4 or 5, I can still remember the first time I made something completely on my own while my parents weren't even home. I was 12 years old (gasp, yes I was left alone with my 10 year old sister when I was 12 ) and my parents had gone out for their anniversary. I decided I was going to make them a loaf of bread for a present and so that is what I did. I made the dough, let it rise, braided it to make it pretty, and then baked it. My parents were super surprised and I was very proud of that loaf of bread. Obviously it made an impact on my life since I still remember it 15 years later.
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1-01-2011 @ 10:26AM
TeacherMom said...Speaking from my experience, there also has to be a certain amount of trust. My 9 year old is much more trustworthy and responsible than my 11 year old! Same house, same parents, different kid....
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1-02-2011 @ 12:03AM
MamaPoodle said...What a wonderful teacher to offer this opportunity! I can't wait (but also dread in that "I don't want my baby to grow up" sort of way) for the day my little man accomplishes something like what all these parents are talking about: a trip to the corner store alone, going to playground without me to play, walking to and from school alone, making dinner, etc.
I also think that maybe we should start even earlier... My best friend has a 5 yr old and always prepares his snacks, drinks, etc. I'm not even sure he pours his own cup of juice. Every day this week you decide, prepare, eat and clean up after a snack. Next week it's something else. Age appropriate of course.
Yes times have changed, but at 8 years old (ooookayyy, it was almost 20 yrs ago) I did my own laundry, made my own lunches for school and did chores every Saturday before going out to play (either 2 houses down or 4 miles away at the Rec Center) until dark. I also walked to and from school from 3rd grade to 9th, then took the school bus for HS. My sister and I walked together for 2 years until we were "too cool" to be seen together.
The key point is teaching our children to follow gut instincts about people they meet, and to be smart about who they interact with. There are not predators at every corner (and shame on parents who teach their children that that's the case!) but the danger is still real. Our kids are smarter than society (and a lot of times, mostly out of love, than us, their parents) give them credit for!
Let them show us just how amazing we really are!
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1-02-2011 @ 12:04AM
MamaPoodle said...*how amazing THEY really are (haha, whoops!)
1-02-2011 @ 12:31PM
Rich Demanowski said...Makes me wonder what's happened to the world. My mom used to hand me a five-spot and send me to the store to pick up a gallon of milk and some fresh veggies so she could make dinner ... and she expected me to be able to count and make sure I got correct change, too.
I was six.
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1-03-2011 @ 3:20PM
Mindy said...Great project - and how sad for the kids whose parents won't let them participate. I especially like the part about the boy who went the wrong way and then corrected his own mistake. Kids really need to learn how to fail successfully. That sounds like a paradox, I know, but kids who learn this don't freak out when they make a mistake. They look at the outcome (not what they'd hoped for), figure out why it happened, and then figure out a way to fix the problem and make it right. That is key to learning critical thinking skills - and far too many kids today seem to be growing up without those. They either beat themselves up for every little mistake, or just give up and stop trying - neither of which are healthy.
Kudos to this teacher and to Lenore for sharing it and reminding us once again how important self-sufficiency is, and how capable our kids can be if we let them try!
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1-03-2011 @ 4:59PM
Jori said...I'm 15 years old, and my mother is over-protective, I have to go straight home after school, she looks through my phone and computer, and Only lets me go out on the weekends, and because of this, I don't have many friends, and I don't fit in much in school. I'm one of the "weird kids" who wears plenty of black and sits alone in class. I think if parents give there children more freedom, it will help them socially, and later in life.
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1-03-2011 @ 5:46PM
Chanitha said...I love the idea of project but when my daugter is in 6th grade I will be taking her to school, and picking her up. I see children younger then that on the bus going to school on their own, and I just don't understand they for the life of me, but I can say one they when my daughter is old enough she can take the bus to school but for now she is only 7. I think children should be able to take the bus when they are in 7th or 8th grade but maybe just maybe i will be still taking my daughter to school then, because now a day you can't trust some ppl, and it weird ppl in this world that like little girls and boys, but all school should try that project also.
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1-03-2011 @ 6:50PM
Angela said...I don't think that this is appropriate. Why should parents have to take the opinion of this teacher as to when it is appropriate for these children to these things? I realize that this is probably why she made it extra credit, but I really don't think it is the teacher's business as to how these parents choose to raise their children. I imagine that if you are the child of a parent that is overprotective you don't need any more attention focused on this fact by having to announce to the class that you weren't allowed to participate. If the parents of the boy not allowed to participate let him walk to school and something happened would this teacher be willing to accept the liability? As a parent I would not want a teacher telling my son that he can and should do things that I do not feel he is ready for. We have to hear enough "attitude" from middle school children without them being encouraged by other adults.
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1-04-2011 @ 9:47AM
Laura Haven said...I had a very over-protective mother. I have a seizure disorder and she almost said no to my Girl Scout troop leader going on a trip out East for 2 weeks and a trip out West for a month. If my GS troop leader hadn't been an RN, she definitely wouldn't have let me go. My mother never let me in the kitchen. The way I learned to cook was 1) my older sister let me cook in her kitchen with her and 2) Home Economics classes. I'm still not a big fan of cooking (just because everything I want to cook takes too much time for this busy world we live in), but I do cook occasionally. My husband worked in a fast food restaurant for a few years and was a mgr. of
a food vendor that served food in cafeterias.
I'm not as over-protective as my mom was, but I am protective of my child. He's now graduated from high school. When he was in elementary school, I let him walk home by cutting thru the woods.
I made sure that he always had a buddy to walk with. We didn't live far from his middle school. I let him walk to school. Again, buddy was with him (most of the time). At least, he didn't have to go thru the woods for middle school. I know he snuck up to the store while I was at work (from receipts laying around his room, out in the open for me to see). I would think that was a way for me to punish him by grounding him, but everytime I did--he ignored it and I was working. I let him go to the local gas station, not very far from home, and pick up a gallon of ice cream for a birthday party of his.
He didn't come home for almost two (2) hours. I don't remember if he forgot the ice cream or if it was melted. ...but that was the last time I asked him to go to the store by himself to pick up something.
I have always let him into the kitchen, to make something, hoping he'd surprise us. A couple of times he did. Then he stopped coming into the kitchen. He's almost 23 yrs. old and he can't cook even an egg. Or he won't. I'm not sure which.
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3-30-2011 @ 1:34AM
Christene said...In 1970 I started school and I was 4 years old. I walked to school and back alone in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It was about 3 and a half blocks from our house. I lived in Mississippi in 1978 and got my permit to drive at age 13, and DL at 14, moved to Ohio and couldn't drive. Not every kid everywhere is ready at the same age so parents need to decide for each child. Unfortunately for some kids the parents find it easier to do things for them than to teach them to do for themselves.
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