My Grandson's Meltdowns Are Wearing Us Out!

NO house was built with only one tool. You better INCLUDE
EXPLANATION, DEMONSTRATION, REMINDERS, WARNINGS, to YOUR PARENTAL TOOL BOX.
Throw in PREPARING KNOWLEDGE: WHERE, WHAT APPROPRIATE explanations.
Throw in TIME OUTS- right there for one to three minutes until they can calm down. You will know they are ready when they are calm.
Older kids "you just don't SOUND like you are feeling very well"... statement reminder and, if still not better might be sent to their room to calm down and come back when they FEEL better(emotionally). "Hope it will be soom. We'll miss you."
(written by a parent of grown children, grandparent, former elem. teacher)

Coop-

You are a moron. And you recieved your early child hood developmental doctorate at which presegious university? Man up and know when your input is garbage and save the rest of us your idiotic one liner.

I agree with Coop. Letting our children do what they want to do when they want to do it and how they want to do it has led to the problems the U.S. has today.

Praise The Lord. Some body else stills believes that children are still the children. If my kids ever try that non sense with me, they would not be able to set down for a week. Public or in private I'm still the parent. This feel good trying to understand your kids let them express their selves has got this country in a mess. Build some old fashion wood sheds and let's raise children and not animals.

So true!!!!

I own a children's shop, and I'm a mom of 3 grown kids. I can tell you that I see many things in my shop that I find disturbing. Parents are litterally AFRAID of thier kids these days. The children run the parents and the parents have no clue how to handle them. My kids just got the look and that was it. I'm not sure what they thought would happen, but they clammed up when "the look" was shot. I know that I removed them from the situation and told them to knock it off, but I reserved spanking for lies and out-right disobedience that could be dangerous and didn't spank but a few times. My kids respected me, and kids these days have NO respect for thier parents. Take my word, I deal with alot of kids and parents.

Or you could spank the little darling.

I had a cousin that threw temper tantrums when she was a small child. My aunt got fed up with it, so she told my cousin "EVERY time you throw a temper tantrum, regardless of where we are or who is around, I am going to throw cold water on you": The first time, it was at a big family dinner; she was down on the floor screaming and kicking - ice water right in the face. She stopped instantly, and, although embarrassed, came to the table and ate like she was supposed to. The second time, it was in the mall...auntie had a bottle of water in her purse...right in the face. My cousin NEVER threw another tantrum...she found out that the 'reward' wasn't worth it. She now says that she is glad that it happened; that it made her understand how unacceptable her behavior was.

Bob,
I used to agree with you 100%, but I have a 19 year old that was exactly like the boy in this story, and I can tell you that any amount of corporal punishment was useless to change his behavior.
The pschological approach also did not work, however, it was less disruptive to the family.
In our case, our son had to grow out of it, and it took years(!!!). We even tried the drugs on our pediatricians advice and that stopped the tantrums immediately, however, it also changed him more than we could bare. So, we just lived with it and somewhere around 6-7 he outgrew the extreme acting out and has hence been an amazingly good and cooperative boy / young man.

@scdellucci (who says): "You are a moron. And you recieved your early child hood developmental doctorate at which presegious university? Man up and know when your input is garbage and save the rest of us your idiotic one liner."

I may be a moron, but at least I can spell "received" and "prestigious." BTW, my degrees (both of them) are from Purdue University. Not in early childhood development, though; I only took Psychology classes as electives for the easy As.

My son also has Aspergers Syndrome. I explain why things are the way they are. Saying "I know you really want those cookies" doesn't tell him anything. He has to know why he can't have them. Then he is ok with it.

One of my sons went through this stage. Horrible on family dynamics. Diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and borderline Asperger's. Great techniques from OT to help...but we also incorporated "Basket holds" up to 30 minutes, (even at the mall or at restaurants) . Introduced Positive Reinforcement Award Charts...carried stickers and place them on hand and transferred to chart...once a week trip to Dollar Store..Big tip, high protein diet, gluten free if possible, and lots of Boars head cheese and turkey...no gluten or preservatives. He is now 8 and doing great..we finally can enjoy trips to malls and restaurants...but keeping in mind, they can't be all day trips...Sensory overload is definitely an issue with many children and these places normally can trigger these responses...malls and restaurants are either too hot or too cold..done to trigger your buying mode, but also and effects the child's internal temperature and they can become moody quickly. Hopefully this helps.

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is another condition that can generate unusual problems with tantrums. If you've tried the techniques mentioend in the article and they aren't working, get a good evaluation. You will need some different skills than most parents More information about ADHD and behavior is available at the National Resource Center on ADHD at help4adhd.org

Absolutely let them throw tantrums. Just make damn sure it is in your own house. The public doesn't care to listen to your spoiled brat scream at the top of his lungs and make a fool of himself.

Tuesday, I couldn't agree more!!!! I am so sick and tired of seeing bratty kids throwing fits in public and parents ignoring them--only to make the kids worse--and everyone else having to listen to it. What has happened to reasoning ADULTS. Why do they think we want to hear their kid screaming, crying and throwin a fit. TAKE THEM HOME OR AT LEAST OUTSIDE OR TO A RESTROOM! Children ARE smarter than you think and sometimes smarter than their parent. Do parents not get babysitters anymore? We go to fine restaurants and there are kids (acting out) everywhere. My husband and I get tired of spending $50-$75 for a meal and then sit through kids acting up around us. Take them somewhere where they can be a kid or leave them at home with a babysitter!!!

My youngest threw powerful tantrums. Having lived with the scornful looks of othersif I tried to ignore her in a restaurant or other public place, I learned to get her out of the establishment....NOT just into the restroom, from where she could still be heard. In bad weather, I'd take her to the car. Sometimes, just to a bench. As she got older, I'd say, " Come on...let it out. You sure sound angry. Now is your chance to really scream. When you are done, we'll go back inside." Sometimes, her dad would have to bring me my meal.

At home, I'd put her in time out and I'd say, "OK when you are feeling happier and stop screaming, I'll come get you." Sometimes, she'd get quiet and fall asleep. These types of tantrums went away after about three months.

Later I found out, if she was hungry, watch out! As a teen, we wouldn't take her anyplace until she ate. Usually, she didn't even realize she was hungry. To this day (she's 23) if she's crabby, she eats a piece of fruit.

when my kids acted up in public I stopped what I was doing and removed them from the area. Even if I was in the middle of shopping I would leave the cart and take my kid to the car where he could scream to his hearts delight but nothing happened. He couldn't get a rise out of me and he didn't get what he wanted. Sitting in a car is boring.

I also made darn sure my kids were fed, and well rested before we opted to go out. Also from the day they were born I never, ever bought them something they wanted that they saw when we were shopping.

@shelterthem- Yes, absolutely food plays a role in some tantrums. I found out early on that my son was borderline hypoglycemic. If he had not eaten in a few hours he was an absolute bear. If he was acting out, my first action is to give him something to eat. The difference was dramatic in just a few miniutes!
He is 18 now, and he knows how to manage this condition, and eats a snack every couple of hours. He also plays sports, physical activity is very important. I always loved football season, he was too worn out to talk back!