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'Princess Boy,' 5, Loves Wearing Dresses, Inspires Mom to Publish Anti-Bullying Book
Filed under: In The News, Bullying
"I look at myself in the mirror lately and I see this guy -- in earrings, pillbox hat, veil, maybe a little choker of pearls -- and I ask myself, 'Would a sane man dress like this?'"
-Cpl. Klinger, "MASH"
In the Army, dressing like a Disney princess might help you get a Section 8 discharge as a head case, but Cheryl Kilodavis is a lot less touchy about such things than the military. Her 5-year-old son dolls himself up in pretty pink dresses all the time.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
In fact, Kilodavis has put together an entire picture book, "My Princess Boy," about how there's nothing wrong with that.
Some 12 years from now, will Dyson, her son, want that book trotted out and shown to his prom date or the guys on the football team? On the website for her book, Kilodavis says she hopes for a better world by then.
She writes that the book "is designed to start and continue a dialog about unconditional friendship and teaches children -- and adults -- how to accept and support children for who they are and how they wish to look."
At first, Dean and Cheryl Kilodavis were uncertain they should let their son sashay about looking like the Sugarplum Fairy. Cheryl Kilodavis tells the Today Show she told her son to knock it off -- in a kind, motherly way.
She explained that boys cannot be princesses.
Her older son, 8-year-old Dkobe, changed her mind.
"Dkobe said to me, 'Why can't you just let him be happy, Mom?' I realized at that moment that this was my issue, not his, and not Dyson's nor Dean's," she tells Today. "After taking a second to do some self-searching, I realized I had years of preconceived notions from my childhood, spiritually and culturally. After journaling, I printed a prototype of my book at a local copy center and used it as a tool to share my feelings. It explained how exclusion hurts and how even a basic level of acceptance can really change lives."
Of course, mothers have a reputation -- perhaps even a stereotype -- of indulging their children's eccentricities. What about Dean Kilodavis? How does he feel about all this?
He thinks it's pretty cool, actually.
"It's not contagious," he tells Today. "He's just like any other kid. He plays checkers, he plays in the trees. He just likes to do it in a dress. Big deal."
It might be a big deal to a bully looking for faces to rearrange. But Cheryl Kilodavis tells the network you can't stop bullies by sacrificing who you are.
"I understand that we all want life to be easy for our children," she tells the network. "I want that, too. But I don't think bullying will stop if my son wears traditional boy clothes. We need a wake-up call. America needs one. The world needs one. We need to start asking ourselves why we are condemning people and things just because they are different and make us feel uncomfortable."
It is the bullies that need to be stopped, she says, not their victims.
"Bullying is taking lives. It is unacceptable. Period," she tells Today. "We must stop standing by while others are being harmed for expressing themselves. Our children are teaching us how to accept them every day. We all want our children to live in a world where they can express themselves without harming anyone else or being harmed."
What does Dyson say about all this?
"I'm a princess boy and I love wearing dresses and I love the colors of pink and red," he tells Today.
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 42)
1-03-2011 @ 2:34PM
tammrdmnd said...Ok for those that want to say thats wrong....what do you say about a 5 year old girl wanting to play with cars, and dress like a "Tom Boy" its no diffrent.....
Reply
1-03-2011 @ 2:22PM
Tish Thompson said...Dyson is one lucky little boy to have such a loving and supportive family. I commend you all for embracing your little boy's "difference" and for teaching him that he is perfect the way he is.
Reply
1-03-2011 @ 3:16PM
JK said...Parents, remember children are emulators. Your children are like trees, if you want the tree to be bent or straighten, you bent and mold it in the direction needed from the beginning of growth. The outcome of a good meal is the result of good effort and necessary ingredient added to it. In other words, your planted seeds only give you what you sow. There is nothing wrong with self expression; however, do explain to your children the meaning, differences, outcome, consequences, and then let them decide on their own. Ignoring behavior without explaining and directing it properly, is dangerous and can backfire both ways. Guidance is needed before you turn your children loose to our cold world and to our unforgiving society. Ha! You forget, they eventually leave your safety nets. Love and teach your children correctly, it is how you empowered them and ensured that they have acquired the necessary survivor tools from your nurturing.
1-03-2011 @ 2:21PM
itsknotok said...Ya know.... a thought just occurred. Humans are really vain and then there are those that are insecure, whatever, who ever they spend billions changing physical flaws. But they can not chnge who they are. Then there is the medical field, its so behind: HIV - AIDS in the 20's?? held on ice??.. diabetes, cancer, human diseases it is dumb founded on cures becus of that other human disease: GREED. Well may be, just maybe since humans are so flawless and the medical field really can't progress and science can not fully explain where the spirit of an individual comes from without actual physical evidence... the creator truly in charge says: Hey, I am in charge and you (humans) just think you are by giving us a different spirit in a different body. Which in turn makes a human truly show its true colors....stunted in growth of the mind of course. and this is a human factor: PREJUDICE. R.
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1-03-2011 @ 2:22PM
Christopher said...I think it is great what this mom is doing...my son is the same way and I totally support him. Who says boys have to play with trucks and girls have to play with dolls. I tell my kids being different is cool and being like everyone else is boring. So keep up the good work and I plan on buying several of your books for my children's school library.
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1-03-2011 @ 2:23PM
scbell1 said...Really? All these people bashing a mom for allowing her son to actually be a kid and have fun? Is he hurting anyone? NO Is he hurting himself? NO Is she hurting him? NO He is having fun. Exploring his imagination without bounderies. Good for them.
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1-03-2011 @ 5:22PM
Alicia said...People are afraid of differences. For some reason, some of these commenters are terrified of a cute kindergatener in a skirt and tiara. The sad part is that they'd rather break the spirit and imagination of a mind that, given the support to grow, expand and imagine could one day, because of that support, write the next great American novel or cure cancer. All because they are so scared of people who don't look, think and act exactly the way they do. Nothing in this boy's behavior indicates what his sexual preference will be when he reaches maturity. If he is gay, who cares? LGBTQ identifying people contribute just as much, if not more, to society. I don't have enough fingers to list gay friends I have training for jobs with programs like Girl Effect and other civil and social justice organizations. I can't say the same for straight friends who didn't face the difficulty that inspired them to try and change the world for the better.
1-03-2011 @ 2:22PM
kt said...WOW! this mom deserves an award. she has shown her unconditional love, support, compassion and bravery. My hat is off to her and always will be. She's a hero and that is a lucky little boy!
love and hugs to that mom.
Reply
1-03-2011 @ 2:39PM
MDAS said...You R so right. Love and support your child. If they don't have their parents, who do they have. I know we all want the perfect family, but how many do?
1-05-2011 @ 11:16PM
bugaloosnana said...I proves only one thing, if parents encourage that kind of behavior then they will turn out to be gay. People are not born gay. I've seen too many people who were supposedly gay, turn from the lifestyle and go straight.
Reply
1-03-2011 @ 2:26PM
Charles Almon said...You do not know what you are talking about.
Please refrain form silly postings.
1-03-2011 @ 2:53PM
lajanice said...I think it's interesting that the mom is being commended, as she should be, but I see no mention of the equally open-minded dad. He has far more influence over his son at that age and he is brave and loving enough to not only support his son, but to do so publicly and with a smile on his face. I think it's hard for men to see boys emulate females, whom they have been taught are the "inferior" sex. Maybe this child is a genius who realizes that girls have it ALL over boys!!
1-03-2011 @ 2:47PM
loomr21 said..."I proves only one thing, if parents encourage that kind of behavior then they will turn out to be gay. People are not born gay. I've seen too many people who were supposedly gay, turn from the lifestyle and go straight."
You're an ignorant fool. It's not a choice. These "so called supposedly gay turned straight" people you are talking about are still gay, but for many reasons have to lie and say they've turned straight. Either by unecepting family, community, or a chruch making them feel guilty for who they are.
1-03-2011 @ 8:23PM
Donnie said...i signed up 'just' to reply to this post, when i read it i said OH MY GOD.....do people still really believe you can turn gay or worse, that gay people 'promote' being gay. you CANNOT make a person gay. you are or you aren't, just like HETEROSEXUALS. if i had a choice, BELIEVE ME, i would have 'CHOSEN' to be straight but it's NOT A CHOICE.
1-04-2011 @ 1:35PM
Alisha said...Being gay IS a choice. It's a homosexual spirit that rests itself on a person and it's up to that person seek Jesus to be freed from it or decide to 'accept' it and 'believe' they were born that way. Why would God condemn homosexuality if He made someone like that. He wouldn't. He loves all and wants all to turn to Him and away from their sins. He did not bring homosexuality upon a person. That is the devil's doing.
As far as this little boy, I don't see anything wrong with a child having fun with dressing up. As long as that's all he's doing. Having fun and understanding that it's girls clothes, not boys. I do not think the parents should be gone out and buying him more outfits and supporting him to wear them everywhere.
1-03-2011 @ 2:23PM
Axel said...Oh..btw, cross-dressing and gay are NOT the same thing you can have both but one not required for the other to exist.
Faggot and gay are also two separate things. But that's a story for another day.
Reply
1-03-2011 @ 2:34PM
james ha said...""Faggot and gay are also two separate things. But that's a story for another day.""
agreed - a faggot is a chunk of wood that is thrown on the fire and gay means happy or carefree.
1-03-2011 @ 2:25PM
paul said...I take it you were/are a bully and will teach your children that if they see someone who is different that they should be made fun of and beat up because they don't fit your "idea" of what a boy is. Or even a girl who wears pants instead of a dress. You are definitely the problem not the solution.
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1-03-2011 @ 2:27PM
Robin said...At first thought, I said this mother is absolutely ridiculous. How does a five year old know what they want. She doesn't have any girls, so where did he get the idea about dressing up in girls clothes.
But then I thought about it and said, I can't pass judgement because I do not know what I would do in this situation. Maybe this boy is trapped in a girls body. I don't know.
I just hope this doesn't back fire on this family years down the line.
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1-03-2011 @ 2:26PM
Susan said...Some of the posts on here are testament to what is wrong with our society. If this was a little girl who only wore a Bob the Builder costume, nobody would say anything about the parents or the child. Kids are kids. I applaud this little man's parents. I hope people see this example and change their thinking.
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