Chinese Parent Amy Chua Talks Extreme Discipline and Parenting Regrets

heh, I know several chinese peeps who their parents completely destroyed them with this type of mentality. The constant drilling of "obey" and "you're just shit" may work for children, but when these individuals become adults, the rest of the world just steps all over them. Excellence in school does not mean excellence in life. These people are gullible and will do anything their bosses tell them, leading them to not climb up the ladder and allow everybody else to walk over them. I've seen it more than once. If you have no spine you cannot make it in the western world.

Whatever the technique used, perents cannot be friends to their children, must have a set of moral principles, have tons of humor and must be their role model. Laugh a lot, tough love a lot and forgive a lot.

I'm sorry.... Children do not ask to be born... The parents should treat there child the way they want to be treated...w/ love, respect, & how grow to be a well rounded child.... My son has so much love and is so smart...He's 4... I'm an easy going Parent....life is good...

Her method works better with girls. Girls are more interested in pleasing and obeying than boys are, generally. That is their nature. Boys are generally, more independent minded. Now that I pissed off the women, which is easy to do. Boys are also less able to excel under those conditions, generally. Regardless, she does allow that her method is not perfect. I am strict and other parents think I am mean. Those parents are just weak. However, my first born was and is quite stubborn. He would never had become the honor student he is in college with her rules. My second son, would be more compliant.
As a parent one must remember, HONESTLY, what worked for you, what characteristIcs you share with your child, what, HONESTLY, motivated you as a child, and what, HONESTLY, motivates your child.
Also, don't be so worried about their school performance through the grades. Be concerned that they truly gain the appreciation of education and higher learning. It only REALLY counts when you have to pay for it.

You "Western" people are in Denial. Climbing the corporate ladder... please. Last time I checked miniorites, aka the Asian miniorities are producing more Doctors, Computer Engineers, and Dentists than you "Westerns" produce. As someone who works in the Software/Computer Programming industry Asians out number "Westerns" by far. For people who live in Washington, Mircorsoft is filled with Asian programmers, Silicon Valley...don't get me started. The U.S. has work VISA's for a reason. We can't produce qualified applicants in our own backyard. We have to hire workers from outside the U.S.. Corporate ladder, ha! Education does lead to a better job which in turn leads to a better life.

Americans are raising children with what they want, putting them in sports to keep them out of "trouble"... When's the last time you saw an Asian girl knocked up... "Teen Mom" is what you get raising your child via the "Western" way. Keep up the good work!

that's a lot of crap, I lived for 8 years in China, Nantong, Tongzhou,Hangzhou,Guangzhou,Shanghai, and have a lot of friends there, that it is not true, the kids are just as regular as here, except they do not have the amount of garbage on TV as the kids here have, which and as far as discipline, parents do have to keep them on a leash, otherwise the Gov. will be looking for them. I have seen also kids very undisciplined with their parents there, while others are more subdue. there is not cutting classes, that's for sure. At night, they go to the parks where they play music and all parents go there for dancing. The Gov. pay a person to play CD's music for them to dance from 7.30pm to 9.30pm. they brings their kids to play and teach them to dance. I worked and lived there and I do like China, because it is not Hollywooded yet which only teach bad things to our kids here. Lesbian/Homo are not allowed public, which it is good.

Why does success matter? What defines success? Good grades and a lot of money? Why not raise children to be kind, compassionate and emotionally mature adults instead of perfect and precise automatons?

Some of these comments are getting off topic. We should be discussing the different ways of parenting and not making racist remarks.

Disagree. China has the highest suicide. They're kids not robots. This is why their country is scared to do anything. All their lives revolve around praise. Sad. Any parents who agrees with this system is failing their children. Sad.

And this is why China's suicide rates are among the world's highest....(check it out on Google)

Be proud!

Hey Franko - Yeah, China is a real role model. You are not allowed to have more than one child and,if you do, abortion is state supported and readily available. Their girls get knocked up on a regular basis. They just abort them so they don't ruin the one child they can have with a husband. My next door neighbor is Chinese and guess what? She came here when she got pregnant with a second child because she couldn't have it there. The US is kind of like the world's dumping grounds now for people who can't do what they wish in their homelands.

As to the morons who claim more Asian people work at Microsotft, etc., I would be willling to bet most of those jobs don't require a ton of creativity. Microsoft has many tiers, and the highest are not predominantly Asian filled by a long shot.

This woman is a control freak. I guarantee she will pay for it later. We have a childhood for a reason, and it's not simply for the cold cruel rudimentary training for adulthood. It's a time to play, to explore, to learn teamwork and sportsmanship through sports, making friends and learning new things. Our world is changing rapidly and children should get that. I don't see how her children's raising was high quality or any better than how I have successfully raised my children. It seems she has demonstrated how to brow beat children by being cold and inflexible. What a douche she is.

My wife is Chinese. Her parents came here in the 40s. She, my wife has been in therapy and spent time in a hospital for attempted suicide. She graduated from High school at 16, graduated from Pomona college and is a trained classical pianist yet none of that was able to over come "the chinese way of parenting". Her relatives always say the dictatorship of parenting is "the culture". I say BS. It is a convient way to control their kids and it is very cruel. It may make them smart but it crushes them socially. Her sister eloped with a Japanese man, big no-no in chinese culture and her brother is a complete mess with no social skills whatso ever. Miss Chau may think this the best for her kids she is in for a rude awakening. As her kids become more westernised this all may come back to bite her in the butt. It may work in China but this is a multi-cultural country and it celebrates more than the ability to just get As and :my way or the highway" method. I feel sorry for your kids, especially when they have to face adversity and can't live in expensive housing and wear designer clothes.

@Franko...I'm what you might call a "Westernized Asian," per se. I believe that YOU are the one in denial, Franko. Get your info straight before posting. The current Census Stats for the US Labor Dept. reports that when it comes to physicians, "Races other than Caucasians are significantly underrepresented. Caucasians represent 47.8% of all physicians. Black doctors make up 2.3%, and Hispanic doctors about 3.2 %. The largest minority percentage is Asians doctors at 8.3% of all doctors." Did you get that? 8.3%. Don't get US started on the Software/Computer programming industry. NEWS FLASH...the "Westerners" CREATED Apple, MacIntosh and Facebook -- all of which the entire world has tried but not come close to duplicating. The Chinese? Yes, they help out......by manufacturing what we Westerners create. Perhaps this is a result of Westerners being a little more creative?? Hmmmm....maybe that's due to the fact that our children are encouraged to think independently and not take NO for an answer. Per Bloomberg: Apple Inc. recently overtook PetroChina Co. to become the second-biggest company in the world by market value. Enough said on this subject. The only accurate thing you said was that education leads to a better job and better life. As for Americans keeping our kids in sports? Well, it's most likely the reason why we hold over 15% of ALL Olympic medals combined, worldwide. As for Asian pregnancies...they're out there. However, many Asians like myself have been told since childhood that an unplanned pregnancy would land us on the streets. (Not very nurturing -- very scary...and very illegal). So the census on that subject may be skewed...MN Dept. of Health notes that Asian pregnancies have been on a steady rise since 1998. Regardless of all the numbers, as a parent, I'm a huge advocate of communicating with and loving (not threatening, ridiculing or deflating) your children. How about a question for you, Franko....when's the last time (if ever) you heard your father say he loves you? Keep up the good work, Westerners!

Jocie, I could not have put it better myself. The Chinese children do well in school (not better) but they cannot think for themselves or make decisions. In fact, there are more than a billion Chinese with only about 1/10 of one percent who are literate. We only see the very top achievers, which, as I said, are a fraction of a percent. Did anyone ever ask, "If the western way is so wrong, why are western countries more developed with China bringing up the rear with its oppressed citizens?" Our willingness to let our children have more freedom makes them creative and that is what has made the USA great. I will say, however, that today's kids are probably given too much freedom. My parents raised us in the 60s and 70s in a much more stirct atmosphere. We will have to see what the future brings.

She says she is using an "immigrant's" mentality more than a Chinese one.

I agree fully! While the Chinese are extremely intelligent no question about it, I've noticed western children tend to grow up having more common sence and are more in tune with how others feel and are more so caring all around. I mean...... you hear about all of the heartless disgusting things Chinese do just because that's the way they naturally are.... maybe they should double check how there rasing there young =/.

Probably need to read the new research on "multitasking", doesn't look good. Basically do alot with little production, sometimes it's better to focus on one thing and master it rather than being the proverbial jack of all trades.

I think that there is merit to the Chinese method of parenting. As a teacher in a suburban school district with a diverse population, the very top students at every competition are always Chinese followed by the Indian students with a few American students mixed in at the lower levels. This is not a one year fluke, but the same year after year so this says something about the students' dedication to their education and also about their parents' commitment to help them to become successful and I commend them. MIT and Harvard is filled with Chinese students, why? because they excel. American students are entitled and not as motivate (my own children included) and need to push harder to keep pace in a global society. If I had it to do over I would be more of a "Chinese parent".