Your Kids (Still) Don't Want to Be Facebook Friends

I agree whole heartedly. Growing up I had an authoritarian domineering father and repressive household. Didn't have any privacy and my mother constantly searched every nook and cranny of my room. They'd open my mail and it never got any better until I left. My son is in college now and I have no interest in looking at his page and snooping to see what he is up to. He's doing well in school, plays intercollegiate sports and there's pictures of him drinking? Meh. My alpha male older sister embarrassed me on facebook by tagging me with some unflattering pictures back when tagged pictures couldn't be removed. Gave her simple warning - do not under any set of circumstances tag me again with any pictures. If I want pictures of myself on there I'll put them up. She tagged me again and not only did I quickly unfriend her I blocked her. She was extermely hurt and has repeatedly argued with me about my refusal to re-friend her. Simple answer there sis - you violated my trust and it isn't going to happen a third time. problem solved.

I ended up on Facebook because my son wanted on. The conditions for his being on were that I had access to his site. I can see who his friends are and what he posts. I've only had to ask him to take down something twice and both times he agreed it was not something he should have posted. Until he is independent and self supporting it is my job to watch out for him. I am very reassured that he is making good decisions and choices because I can see what he is doing.

THE CHILDREN ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD GET OVER IT!!! Fact: Facebook is not a private world. People should not be putting anything on there that they wouldn't want their grandparents, bosses, teachers etc to see. They friend so many people without thinking of the consequences of all those people actually reading their posts that they are intending just for a few friends. Parents should be sharing this public world with them because they will be the only ones who let the children know when something is inappropriate for public viewing.Otherwise, they wil never know why they didn't get into this college or get this job. It is a learning opportunity to learn how to present yourself publicly because again, it is NOT a private place. If they want to share personal conversations, pictures blogs with only a few friends (which they should be doing) GREAT, but facebook is not the place to expose their private lives.

If you wnat to stay safe, stay off places like Facebook. If you wnat your kids to be safe at least while you are supporting them, keep them off Facebook and like sites.

What r u posting that would embarrass your child/your child embarrass you. You and your kid are going to be the 1's on the news because you lost your jobs because you posted something stupid. You should be embarrassed of yourself for lack of parenting! "Sorry officer I did not know they were underage and drinking in my home, opps my bad" You idiot!

This response is to Meg--maybe you should read my post before you call someone an idiot. I said that young teens needed to be monitored by their parents, but my own daughter is almost 20 years old, in her second year of college, responsible, excellent grades, works 2 jobs and hates the taste of alcohol. I monitored her FB page until she was almost 19, then we mutually decided to give each other some privacy. I am college educated, with a masters degree and so is my husband, we are hardly what you paint us to be. The fact is that kids do not need to have their parents read everything they post, remember Facebook was created by college students for college students, and it is only within the last few years that older adults started to get involved. Would you also monitor all their text messages and listen in on their phone calls?

I guess I'm in the minority. Not only did my children friend me first, they went and added all their friends to my page. We are extremely fortunate to live in a small town, so I know each of the children personally, as well as most of their parents, and have discovered on many seperate occassions, that my children have been fussed at on their pages by the other parents for their wrongdoing! Nothing major, just "you shouldn't be doing that, you should respect yourself more." In our wonderful little town, noone has forgotten that it take a village to raise a child! If my children want unconditional privacy, they can move out.

I had to talk my mom into facebook and when she finally got one, all my friends from high school friended her. Granted, I was 18 before I cared to have a social networking presence myself and at 20, my mom really can't object to what I post anymore. She has, a couple of times, questioned my use of a few choice four letter words, but there's a reason I refuse to friend certain family members and anyone under 17. A) I'm very vocal about my political opinions and I know certain people would be offended by some of my stances and B) when I share articles that piss me off, I voice that. With obscenities.

Couldn't agree more. This writer is trying to make kids think that there is somehting wrong with friending your parents on facebook and that it is only to invade your privacy instead of the reality. It is a friendly way to communicate with your kids and there friends and promotes a little more openess in relationships that wouldn't necessarily take place in person.

I agree--- the whole "How DARE you try to be in your teenager's life?" mentality sickens me, and makes me glad my oldest is only six. I don't post anything on the internet I'd be embarrassed "scared" for ANYONE to read, because I am smart enough to know that it's the freaking internet: SOMEONE will find it. People have been fired and arrested over Facebook posts--- Big Brother (the government) is watching, don't think they aren't.

And, yes, my mom, grandma and mother-in-law are on my facebook list: They like to look at pics of the grandkids.

Teens are entitled to their privacy. I'll agree. But, doesn't too much of a "secret online life" lead to meeting some 45 year old dude at the airport?