Was I Right to Change My Daughter's School Because of Bullying?

Bullying in schools is a serious problem, and has led to school shootings by some kids who were bullied. Some schools have worked to resolve these conflicts by having the students discuss the issues in the presence of a trained moderator. It works! What we have learned is that the bullies are often fighting back from family abuse or violence themselves. Ed, adding to the conflict doesn't work in the long term. Healing helps. It's not a wuss issue. It's learning to respect yourself and others.

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As someone who was bullied and who, like you, got no help from anyone at the school, and whose parents thought I just needed to toughen up, I think you did exactly the right thing. I had to inform my parents that there was no way I was going back to the same school ever again after tolerating non-stop daily bullying for an entire school year. I loved my "new" school and had no problems there whatsoever-made good grades, graduated on time, had a large group of friends, etc. Ignore the people who criticize your decision-you did what was necessary to protect your child and give her some relief. A lot of people don't "get" it-we are not talking garden variety teasing-we are talking hard core relentless bullying-there is a HUGE difference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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At 92 years old, I see nothing has changed.

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hi i just wanted to say i think you did the right thing dispite what some people think my 8 y/o is being bullied in his school we have went to the teacher several times and she said because he moved from a country school to a ghetto school that he don't know how to play with the others how is getting him down on the ground and kicking him playing? the other kids in his class is one year older then him because they failed the 2 grade he's always loved school and never had a problem in school no bad reports now he hates to go to school and wont do his work or home work ( says he wants to get kicked out ) he's 8 .. we tried to talk to the other officals in his school but no one listens i'm glad you got her out and hope shes doing well as for us unfortanly i cannot move him schools as we live where the only other school is a residentul school ...../// i don't know what to do .... i hope that any one with a child that is being bullied that reads this will take a stand and maybe we can put a stop together to get the officals to actually do there job and stop it instead of sitting on there butts and turning a blind eye waiting till 2:30

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Have you ever noticed that the 'experts' that write about bullying are never the ones that were bullied. They're usually the class presidents and most popular students. They're as usefull as getting marriage advice from a divorcee.

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I would sue the parents multiple times for each instance of bullying. If there was physical abuse, I would try to document it on video and then call the police. If I couldnt afford a lawyer, I would sue in small claims court. As a last resort, I would record the abuse on tape and post it on the internet or make in known to the community in other ways who the bully and parents are.

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As a high school junior. i think that was the wrong thing to do.
Senior year is the best year of a kids life. that year they get to do whatever they want and graduate with their freinds.
By moving her to a new school, you made her sadder because she dosnt get to graduate with her friends.
i think u had a good reason to move but you should have asked your daughter if she wanted to move.

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Oh, please...stop mollycoddling your almost-adult children. If s/he can't handle "bullying" now, what happens when s/he has to work in an environment in which s/he isn't the star attraction, with every whim or complaint immediately attended to?

"Bullying" is the new buzz word among parents. I have students in my second grade room (where bullying is NEVER allowed) whose parents are suddenly "concerned" that their child is being bullied when no such thing is happening. Our recess is segregated by age and classroom; no two classes are assigned the same play area and the ratio of adults to children on the play yard is equivalent to that of the classroom. In point of fact, most of the "issues" that arise in the room are the direct result of the problems in a gang/drug ghetto neighborhood that spills over into the classroom. The teacher has no control over what happens in the kid's house or block, only what happens within the four walls during a classroom day.

But a seventeen or eighteen year old who hasn't learned to either contact school officials him/herself isn't going to handle life's problems. Mommy needs to stop s-motherloving and teach the child how to resolve the issue him/herself!

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i go to a private school in yonkers, new york named Andalusia and its more like a family rather a school which is amazing because no one gets bullied unless its friendly jokes no one ever takes offense i love it there

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The schools are obligated to do the following. One time you are allowed to bully another student without consequences other than a warning. The second time a bullying incident happens, is documented and confirmed, the bully is permanently removed from the school..never to return. EVER. The parents will soon get the point as they weary of driving their bullykid to a new school every few months. That would end the bullying. If violence was a part of it, they should be jailed...immediately.

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If you did not take your daughter out of that hellhole school, things will be worse. You were right. Do not feel bad about your decision.

I went through an almost similar situation at a previous job. What did I do? I left because I was targeted and even accused of starting the whole problem with my harassers.

If you know that you are somewhere mostly filled with evil spirits, get out of there. It does not matter if it is your job, school, family, or whatever. You may be in danger if you stay.

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Wake up people. This is a huge problem . There are numerous kids out there that are being bullied. This is one reason that we have the retaleation by these bullied kids in the form of lethal action in our schools. This mother should have kept going up to the Superintendant if necessary. It sounds like the Dean of Students is sitting on his hands and is not being held accountable.
Mike , you are a good example of the problem today, You were bullied and then you turn around and bully. Wow, what a guy.

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My son was a victim of bullying when he was in middle school. I did everything I was suppose to, contacted the parents, teachers, principle, superintendent. I got nowhere with them..NOWHERE!! I had a family member that was a police officer, and I called him and her told me to contact the parents themselves and told each one of the bullying and told them they would be in court and in front of a judge IF this didn't stop. One of the parents was a police officer and boy was he MAD when I called HIM at home to tell him this..principle called me and TOLD me NOT to call anymore parents, and I told him same thing I told the parents, also that he and the school is responsible for the children from the time they leave our home UNTIL they GET BACK HOME in the evening, as the rules state here in California. Needless to say, the bullying stopped. I wasn't exactly popular at the school any longer, but who cares, my child was safe. I also agree with the bullying being so destructive to the child's self worth and such....this is a crime and shojuld be treated as such!!! Parents need to teach their children to respect others and to treat others the way THEY want to be treated. I am afraid though, so many parents don't care what their children are doing as long as they are no bother to the parents...I see this on a regular basis...this is why so many children are roaming the streets and getting in so much trouble...their parents don't care. How sad.

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WE had a bullying problem with my son and it took a while but we finally got some results. It turned out that as soon as other kids heard that he had come forward they did too. They were all afraid of this one kid and they didn't want to look like sissies. After the other kids parents joined us the bullying child was never a problem again. We were lucky to have a responsive principal. I know of other incidents in other schools where nothing was done until they were threatened with a law suit. By not acting the school becomes the bully's accomplice.

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some of these kids can't be changed - first look at the social status that kids have created for themselves these days - gangs pretty much explains it and if yur not a part of one yur bullied - shoot if you are a part of one you get bullied , why do ya think there is so much violence amongst these kids - you can't reason with stupidity and a lot of it has to do with the way the parents raise their kids - example since I was a wee lil child I was taught NOT to hit girls and proper etiquette on how to treat girls , that was taught to me by my mother , as for my father he only ditto'd what my mother taught , when he was around - so I learned early on how to treat girls also I was taught manners and respect for one another - there are so many parents out there that will back their kid up no matter what it was they "alledgedly" did - in those parents minds , their kids could do nothing wrong - WRONG- most of them don't want to know what their kid is involved in , they are the ones who think its just a kid thing -and let things go . Some of the most memorable moments of my life were when I was a kid along with some of the most miserable too ! That is a part of growing up , but only should one have to experience those things in moderation , what these kids are doing these days are waaaaaay beyond moderation - I watched one of those two and a half men episodes where the gal comes back into the lives of the two brothers (sheen and cryer) and now shes so beautiful they both want a piece of her , only to find out who she really was to them in High school , a girl they used to call names and picked on all thru high school and this was her payback - unfortunaetly for her she turned out to be a real nutbag to boot , but It gives you some insight as to what transpired during her school days - like I said , kids will be kids , but moderation is over , they get extreme these days , that goes back the parenting and the teachers (once again) need to know the warning signs - but try getting that outta union teacher - its not part of their job discription !!

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As a current victim of bullying, the authorities need to come down HARD and FAST on the bully! DO NOT move the victim unless they're in imminent danger. Make the bully's life the focus. Either get them the help they need or punish them SEVERELY! All my life the stupid morons in charge's first actions were to move ME as I was the "only one having a problem with this person". I have had to uproot my life/routines to accomodate these jerks! When the bully is told to stop and they refuse/continue, then THEY should be the ones inconvenienced/uprooted,PUNISHED! If you move the victim, they/we/I feel like I'm guilty an am being puished for being a target! Ask the victims what they need or want. I suffer from PTSD due to all the incidents I have had to endure from fellow students in schools and even bosses at work. Stop spewing all these platitudes and DO SOMETHING about the bullies!

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