Tiger Mom, Amy Chua's Daughter Defends Her

It's like every few years someone else decides to give their 2 cents about parenting and if it succeeds or fails it take years to find out and prove anything. There's some non-fail freebies for families on HTTp://biT.ly/Key2Free I think every parent who cares at all is just trying to do their best.

Look around us, how many young people have respect for any one. There was a time u dare not look crossed at your parents, today, kids are killing their parents cause they can't have what they want.
Sure, some parents are extreem, there has to be an even balance. I raised my sons to speak their minds, but in a civil mannor, they had play time, and had to be involved in something and if they really hated it, they could try something else. They have grown into the kind of adult my folks were and we were, responsible and able to decide on their own and correct mistakes when and if they are made. How they are rasing their little one is so loving it is unbelievable, even better than we did, we belived in a pat on the butt. This child never gets spanked but he get is with love. No child should be afraid they are going to get hit even if they tell the turth.

How many sentences are you using?

There was Doctor Spock who wrote a book for parents on how to raise their children.
Since that time we have had thousands of "experts."
1-18-2011 @ 3:23PM
sherry said...
Sherry makes some valid points. I am no expert and it has been a long time since we, my wife and I raised our children.
I believe that manners are very important.
For reasons beyond me we are loosing too many of our children.
There is an organization that we support with a gift every year. They are Focus Adolescent Services. Reputed to be the nations largest in helping parents with "troubled teens." I understand that a million people visit their web site each and every month. Is that a lot of people? They are not selling T-shirts, or "downloading music."

Hey it worked out well for this family. The kids are intelligent, successful & well balanced. They are respectful, which you rarely see these days. There is something to be said for being a tiger mom. One thing for sure. It is alot of work to be that involved. I think alot of parents today don't even know their kids. As long as the kids are indulged all the time they think everything is fine. Well I don't think so. Kids today have a severe case of entitlement. I blame the parents. Myself included. They are bombarded with every type of electronic device that is manufactured. I remember how excited I would be when it was Christmas time . I waited all year to receive that long awaited special gift. Today, kids don't look forward to anything because they already have it. I don't know if it is guilt or what, but parents today don't discipline at all. It shows. These kids don't respect elders or their parents. It is very sad. These are the leaders of tomorrow. God help us all.

I agree US parenting puts too much into sports and being a friend to your child, indulging them without appreciation of working for what you get,,. There must be a balance though, this strict style can also backfire on you. Plus,not everyone has the abilities to excell. What happed to trying your hardest to do what you can?

wow..this is not child abuse. this is the way Asians teach their children and it has worked for many years. it might seem harsh but it really isn't. i admit that at times i really hate my parents for forcing me to excel in certain things but the outcome is great. i am still in HS and they are still driving me crazy over my grades and piano lesson. But eventually it adds up. i am in honors class and i am attending my school with a scholarship. with all of these achievements i can eventually attend a good college. when i am at home i have to respect my parent or something harsh is going to come my way. with the respect i learn at home i bring it to school and respect the teachers and my friends. there are kids out there that was never taught to respect other and where has it gotten them? either in jail or in deep trouble. so overall , this parenting is really affective.

Discipline is just as important as hugging, loving, and encouraging a child. It's a very difficult balance and not one of us has it completely right. It's a learning experience for each parent (with each child I might add). I grew up getting spanked when I did something that I knew was wrong and never looked at it as abuse. I now spank my children if I have to, but I also discuss the issue with them to make sure they understand why it was wrong and why they were disciplined. I definitely believe in corporal punishment, but that is completely different from abuse. If you can't see that then that's too bad..and good luck to you. I've worked in the public school system, and the lack of discipline/punishment (whatever you want to call it) at home and in the school makes the job of the teacher soooo much harder - almost impossible. The children are very disrespectful and they know that the teacher can do nothing about it. Sad, really. Those children are the ones that hinder the few respectful ones from the education that they deserve...all because a parent is scared (or lazy) to do his/her job. And believe me, it is a job...and a privilege that should never be taken lightly. And Lilly, I wouldn't be so quick to point the finger as we are all trying to figure it out day by day... and not one of us (even you) has the right answer.

Abuse? Abuse? You are joking of course...or are you? The world belittles everyone, every moment of every day. And get this straight, it is not an American problem (by the way, is that North, Central or, South America you're talking about?) It is a world wide problem and it's refreshing to see someone care enough about their children to demand only the best. Perhaps you would not take the same path but, Abuse? Give me a break...no wait...don't give me a break because the world/cosmos certainly will not...

there has to be a happy medium. too many american parents are raising their little "precious bundles of joy" to be the center of the universe which results in a whole generation of young adults today who have no respect for anyone and expect society to indulge them. i think a combination of both styles would be of great benefit to everyone.

I don't quite know what to think about telling a child they are "garbage", but I do wonder if it isn't worse to allow them to grow up still being "garbage." I see a lot of young garbage walking around out there, maybe if someone told them when they were kids they might have done something about it.

I completely agree Lily. This is not a good way to raise a child. At least if you want them to grow up yo be a well adjusted adult. I've met more then my share of people who were brought up either the way this girl was or darn close. They may have been good students or successful in their businesses but I can tell you without a shred of doubt, they were not happy. There does have to be balance. Discipline but also love and praise.

Ok Kelly, and if you failed? Then what. As humans, we are not perfect and it seems as if this is what was driven in this lifestyle that you were raised. It's great that it work for you and your family, but it doesn't work for all in the asian families, and you would never hear of those who, mentally, couldn't cope because it is kept very hushed. Take it from me, I've seen and heard. It is cruel and good children can be raised without a harsh hand, and when they cannot, then you can intervene, but a balance is needed, not extremes.

Really... Do you think anyone would have stepped in? It is the cultural upbringing maintained through tradition. you need to read the book before you say child abuse because you obviously havent experienced it. I was beaten black and blue for agreeing with my mom once and lived with 10 different houses from my freshman year to my junior year of high school because my dad was affraid that she would live up to her full blown death threats. Plus CPS was called several times... nothing ever happened, because they are a$$-backwards most of the time. Who would have actually helped her, a foster home where children are ignored or some hard parenting

Dont scream child abuse everytime you see a child in a situation you dont approve of especially if you dont know the culture or the full background.

I agree. Strict parenting is good, but this is abuse, pure and simple. I feel sorry for the childhoods her kids had--really, they never had a childhood with the pleasures most kids get to enjoy. Was there a father in the picture? How could he have stood by and allowed this to go on?