Hot on HuffPost Parents:
Dr. Peggy Drexler: The Breadwinner Complex: Are Women Apologizing For…
Guideposts : Meet The Canine Minister To A Man With Alzheimer's
The Hatch-Palucks, Week 15: The Elephant In the Room
Filed under: Healthy Families Challenge
Emmie loves to bake with her Easy-Bake Oven -- but she rarely eats what she makes. Credit: Amy Hatch
It isn't because I'm not a good cook. It isn't because I resort to fast food too often. It isn't because I prefer baking treats to creating healthy dinners.
It's because of the elephant in the room.
The pachyderm in question is Emmie's food phobia.
Our daughter always showed strong food preferences, even as an infant on baby food. She hated anything green, turned her nose up at proteins (with the exceptions of yogurt and cheese) and gave up milk at age 15 months.
I took mothering her very seriously, of course, and I was so excited the day that she had her first taste of "real" food. Even then, I could tell Emmie was going to be finicky. She didn't even like baby-food peaches. And who doesn't love baby-food peaches?
My own sweet tooth and emotional-eating history influenced my feelings as well. I have strong associations with treats and love, so imagine my delight when watching my own child enjoy a chocolate-chip cookie made by her grandmother (and she does).
Until Emmie was about 18 months old, we could count on her eating roast chicken, broccoli and other unprocessed foods. She adored my homemade macaroni-and-cheese, and would always eat her Mandarin oranges.
Then, she began to exhibit normal developmental pickiness. She stopped eating meat, unless it was molded into nugget form. She made her preference for mac-and-cheese from a box known. She gave up all fruit and veggies, with the exception of bananas, and fell in love with French fries and grilled cheese.
I indulged her, thinking it was just a phase.
Now Emmie is 6 years old and her diet consists entirely of frozen waffles and pancakes, grilled cheese and fries, chicken nuggets, smooth yogurt (no fruit pieces allowed), bananas, boxed mac-and-cheese, Nutella, white bread, bagels, crackers and some cookies.
When we ask her to try something new, like noodles with butter or pizza, she has a panic attack -- the kind you can't fake. This isn't just a child throwing a tantrum to get out of doing something she doesn't want to do. She gets hysterical from the fear, with tears and the shakes.
It's heartbreaking to watch.
Her food preferences extend to sweets and junk food, too. She isn't a fan of frosting, won't eat oatmeal cookies or anything with nuts, and she can't stand Doritos.
Heck, if she ate a Cheeto, we'd consider it a breakthrough.
I joke, but only because it deflects the uncomfortable truth.
Our daughter has a diagnosed, severe food phobia. She's seen several doctors, and they're in agreement. She fears new foods as someone with a dog phobia would fear a pit bull. In fact, that's exactly how one professional described it to me, when I expressed my frustration with Emmie's reaction to being asked to try a new food.
Imagine, she said, fearing dogs and being asked to cuddle one on your lap.
When we ask our child to try a new food, she panics. It is so hard to watch, especially when it's an item that we know would help make her healthier. For weeks, I worked on coaxing her to try a sliver of peeled apple, and, when she finally was able to make herself put it in her mouth, she gagged and almost vomited.
As Emmie has gotten older, eating has also become a social issue. Birthday parties and play dates become a nightmare when you can't bear the thought of putting peanut butter or pizza in your mouth.
It's so hard to hear her tell me that the pot of tomato sauce simmering on the stove smells delicious, then watch her struggle to find a way to get over her fear of tasting it. I know she wants to eat something different.
She just can't.
No doubt, there are some texture issues at play, as well as some preferences that she comes by honestly. Channing and I are hardly what anyone would call adventurous eaters.
In taking on the Healthy Families Challenge, our hope was that Emmie would follow our example as we ate better. Sadly, this hasn't been the case. She's had behavioral therapy designed to desensitize her to new tastes and textures in the past, and even that hasn't worked, so I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise.
Not too long ago, we had a glimmer of hope. My mother pointed me to a piece that ran on ABC's Nightline, about this specific issue. Watching the video of the young girl in the piece was like watching Emmie. It even gave us a name for her problem -- food neophobia.
There is someone out there who might be able to really help our daughter. According to Nightline, Dr. Nancy Zucker is an assistant professor at Duke University's School of Medicine, and runs its Center for Eating Disorders. That organization is just beginning to study food neophobia.
It's time for us to reach out to Zucker, because I can't stand to watch her suffer -- and she does suffer -- one minute longer.
Who's the rest of the competition? Check out all the challengers' latest updates here.
How is the Hatch-Paluck family doing? Check in on their progress!
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- The owner of the property or debit creditor can relieve the person(s) of the debt,(a employment position or (court) is not ownership
- Alot of .gov when submitting a program or proposal for government agency (be sure you personally can provide for the agency)
- patent or not civil case the inventor will never lose because the people approved and he makes the rules. it did not exist
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
How to Get Your Kids to Eat Foods They Dislike
How can parents get their kids to eat foods they don't like?
-
Child Manners - Eating Food
In this video Peggy Turnblacer and Denise Rosson of Tadpole Dreams Good Manners Program LLC, demonstrates how to eat certain types of food, such as spaghetti and bread.
-
Fertility Foods for Women
The food that you eat can impact your fertility. Find out what type of food you should eat to reduce your chances on infertility.
-
Punch Up Breakfast With Power Foods
Wellness Director for Sodexo's School Services, Roxanne Moore, shares the top power foods for breakfast and when we should eat them.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 4 of 18)
1-22-2011 @ 4:50PM
Margo said...When I was a child, we ate lunch in the school dining room and were told we had to eat whatever they gave us. Unfortunately grated raw carrots and coleslaw both actually turned my stomach, and after I'd forced them down, I'd have to run to the bathroom and upchuck. It was NOT a fake thing, and I was actually embarrassed over it, but couldn't overcome it. To this day I want my carrots cooked, and can't stand coleslaw!
This little girl may well be having the same sort of reaction (after all, the mother says she did it as an infant, so it couldn't have been done to get her own way.) Don't judge the family until you have been through this kind of thing.
1-22-2011 @ 7:29AM
johnsonbrown7777 said...Put down the food she either she eats if or will be hungry, after a while she will eat it.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 7:35AM
johnsonbrown7777 said...It's like training a dog, if you put the food down and the dog don't eat it just wait and after a while the dog will go eat it.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:47AM
thsone said...actually, not true. i have a dog that wouldnt eat her dog food from a puppy. she would eat it for a day then get "bored" and stop eating it for like 2 days, we went through 6 different dog foods and she still wen tthrough the same pattern. i refused to giv in and giv her human food. i sat her dog food down for her for 8 days and she would not eat and starved herself!! it wasnt til she started dry heaving and diarrea that i had to make her hamburg and rice. finally we were recommended from a dog trainer that she may be a dog that only like 100 % meat dog food. (most dogs food only have wheats and grains) i agree that this parent is too lientant with her daughter by giving her junk and procesed foods for awhile, but she needs to try everything else possible to find "her right food"
the factors involved her r common with inproper parenting but her kid is one of those uncommon picky eaters, in which texture plays an important role, however theyre approaching her "so called panick attacks" all wrong.
1-22-2011 @ 9:25AM
darlene said...You're comparing raising a child to training a dog? Wow! Not sure how to appropriately respond to that one! I was brought up with a similar mentality...then I had kids with disabilities. Can't "train" them away.If you are a good parent you seek advice from a variety of professionals when you see something that you feel is "not quite right". As a parent you usually have to change what you are doing to help your child grow. It's usually a matter of "training" the parent more than "training" the child. Are there kids out there that are brats and bullies? Of course! And sometimes it is the parents but sometimes it's because there is genuinely a child who needs some extra help!
1-22-2011 @ 7:34AM
johnsonbrown7777 said...Don't people know how to raise children any more?
Sit at the dinner table, put down the food, the kid will eat it or not, don't give her anything else to eat and after a little while she will eat it. They must be liberals.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 7:41AM
Tara said...Wow... a lot of judgmental and harsh comments from people who have not experienced the issue. If/when their child experiences a phobia, they'd likely hide under their rock (feeling guilty) rather than helping their child with the problem. Great parenting! The truth is, you cannot know what gives birth to a true phobia, sometimes it just 'is'.
I don't believe my 5 year old daughter has an outright phobia, but she does have a fear of the unknown when it comes to food. The only way that I have been able to help her is to let her in the kitchen. She helps me mix, we taste the ingredients, she makes her own plate, everyone eats together... if I make the exact same dish without her she will not eat. This way she at least tries everything.
I do not think that it is too demanding to know what you are putting in your own body. I wouldn't expect her to jump off a bridge just because I told her to... she's allowed to look over the edge first, and I wouldn't make her jump if I wouldn't. Funny, I am still in charge here...
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 1:15PM
sd1904 said...I think everybody who has children has gone through this same issue, it's only a real problem if you allow it to be. It's how you as a parent deal with it. I agree with the other people on here who said they doubt children in 3rd world country's have this issue. People always think their child is "special" but sometimes I think we are taking that concept a bit far and pay Dr's to help convince us it's so. I have 4 children and none of them liked all the food I gave them, but if you start indulging them in this in the beginning you will have a long hard road ahead of you.
1-22-2011 @ 7:52AM
cstent said...My granddaughter only eats what she wants and she is 4 & 1/2. I looked to this article for some guidance. Thanks to those with the pointed comments about "who is in charge".
When I was young - you ate what was served. The only decision was whether we wanted mayo or mustard on our sandwich.
And I don't ever remember anyone with ADD. I believe those were the kids that needed a little more pressure to do what was told.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 7:52AM
John F.C. Taylor said...People, don't be so harsh. Read the entire article before you stomp all over the mother. She quite clearly states that there were healthy foods in the child's early diet. It's more than a child having tantrums when they stop eating foods that they are familiar with. Instead of coming down on her for being a bad mother, ask why the abrupt change in food preferences. Who knows? Maybe the child choked on one of those foods and fears the same happening again. It could be anything. Even something minor that might not seem important to most people.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 10:15AM
Kelly said...I read the article. And I see that the kid will and won't eat both healthy and junk foods. What that tells me is she what she wants, and probably works herself into a tantrum if it is something she doesn't want. Believe me, I've seen tantrums that have included shaking and crying and gagging because the kid is so worked up. The one thing that stuck out to me is "she can't stand Doritos". That says to me that, she has tried Doritos and doesn't like them. OK So the kid gets to eat whatever she wants/likes, healthy or not, or she throws a tantrum. She's eating waffles and pancakes. What kid doesn't like waffles and pancakes? "She stopped eating meat unless it was molded into nugget form". Again.....maybe she likes chicken nuggets, like most kids, and that was her way of getting what she wants.
I really think this is a case of the parent seeking professional help, and the professionals "finding" something wrong with the kid. This should have been nipped in the bud in the beginning, not "indulging her thinking it was a phase". Now she is in the routine of this and it will be hell to break it.
1-22-2011 @ 7:59AM
polly said...Wow! Exact description of my child as well. Our doctors call it a "texture aversion." She will only tolerate crunchy foods. She gags on soft, squishy foods like meat, veggies, fruits, and can't tolerate slippery textures either like noodles. Her issues run deeper as well and we are exploring "sensory integration disorder". She currently sees an Occupational Therapist who is working with her on those aspects like she won't get her hands messy with paint, glue, or sticky things like pudding, honey, marshmallows. We just sought the Feeding Clinic at Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago. If there's one in your city, they are excellent! We are beginning an extensive food study there with a psychologist, nutritionist, and their OT person as well. I joke also that I would do cart wheels the day my child would eat regular "kid meals" like hot dogs, pizza, or mac n cheese.
Good luck and hope we both find a way to help our children through this.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:48AM
James B said...Polly,
We have a child who is exactly the same as yours and we are beginning a food aversion/texture aversion program with a specialist in our city just as you are. Are you interested in comparing notes on progress, successes, problems and solutions? Write back! We can correspond privately if you like.
1-23-2011 @ 11:45AM
mom of two said...My son is the same way, he will not try anything squishy. Dry or crunchy foods are basically the only things he will eat. How old is your daughter? We saw a specialist for a while but my son is so shy that we actually had more luck getting him to eat than she did, unfortunately. If you make any progress, I would love to try that on my son, and would also share the suggestions that we received, if you are interested. My son is nearly 4. Thank you and good luck!
1-22-2011 @ 10:58PM
therose102787 said...sounds liek aspergers to me, sensory adversion is a BIG clue to aspergers which is a high functioning form of autism. better to get the right diagnosis than a wrong one which could affect her/him in school when they get older.
1-22-2011 @ 7:55AM
Lucille said...So many rude comments. People, this isn't a spoiled little brat. It's a 4 year old with a phobia. Children don't choose to have phobias, it just appears and doesn't go away. And if you all were insightful enough to watch the videos under the article, the child has a younger brother; she isn't an only child.
Amy, maybe you'd like to ease her into new foods. For example, if she eats bagels, try hiding a little cream cheese. Sometimes, the fear is only there if you see the food. She might not react so heavily if she just tastes it. Add a few blueberries to her yogurt and crush it so that the texture is gone but the nutrition is still there.
If worse comes to worse, some vitamin pills or liquids should be added to her diet. As a 4 year old, she has high needs for vitamins and minerals and with the diet she has now, she will be deficient in several vitamins, which isn't acceptable. The nutrition she obtains at that age is crucial for development. Don't forget that.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:09AM
sandy said...My nephew did the samething if we walked into a resturant and it was a buffet he would cry, or when it was time to eat he would cry till he up chucked. He hated dinner time.....He grew out of it and eats everything now. I wouldnt worry that much.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:20AM
Laura Petry said...Boy so many of you are so mean, I'm sure all of you are perfect parents. Not everything is so cut and dry and insults really aren't very productive. Many kids become picky eaters and its a behavioral issue that can usually be overcome, however I believe this mom when she says her daughter's problem is far more complex. Have any of you raised children with sensory issues? They can be serious. If you don't handle it properly it can lead to all kinds of eating disorders as an older child or adult. If you force your child into eating and make it a fearful, horrifying experience for them, when they are older they are more likely to rebel and develop anorexia or bulimia. I think she is doing the responsible thing looking for help where ever she can find it and I applaud her for her perserverence. At least she is willing to bring her problem out in the open in the hope of helping others. All of you who beat her up, I hope you never need help with one of your perfect children. You may just find yourself being accused of being a horrible parent.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:27AM
Emma said...Some of you people are wrong. My nephew who is 8 is not fat, he is about 10 pounds skinnier than he should be, but he is a picky eater and will only eat a few things. We have tried to make him eat other things and he will refuse to eat until he is sick. We have taken him to see a child nutritionist, psychologist and still he refuses to eat anything new. The only thing he will eat is french fries from one fast food place, Pizza but only a certain kind and won't try any other, homemade white rice, homemade chicken strip. He will sometimes eat one kind of cereal, will eat homemade biscuit with butter. He will eat some chips and some sweets but is still picky. He refuses to eat any vegetables and he will only eat a bite of a banana and then makes a face because he doesn't like it. So what does a parent or person to do? You can't force him to eat he has tried and gagged and threw up the food. Have already tried the if you don't eat whats there you don't get anything else because he will go for days without eating and he has gotten sick. He is still seeing a therapist but she thinks it will be something he will grow out of and that we should not worry to much about it as long as he will be taking vitamins which he will take a children's multivitamin. He does like to drink ice water. It is hard to go out to eat anywhere because of his picky eating. We are all just hoping that he is going through a phase but he has been like that since he started eating real foods there was even some baby foods he didn't like.
Reply
1-22-2011 @ 8:30AM
DSherline said...It's really simple to cure a 6 y/o's "food phobia" and assert your
self as the boss, you know, as the parent. "Eat or go hungry, dear,
because that's all you're getting." It works amazingly well and has for centuries.
A 6 year old with a food phobia? Get real. It's a behaviorial problem
and the only reason it exists is because the parent has allowed it.
Reply