Childhood Self-Control Is a Predictor of Adult Success, Study Shows

It is good to see the so called experts admitting that juvenile delinquency syndrome is a social and family problem rather than labeling the children ADHD or bi polar and trying to medicate them into submission. The role of proper parenting can not be over looked in childhood development and the advance of our present day society as a wholesome and necessary entity. I have always held the mindset that no child is hopeless but needs the proper foundation to build their life.

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What nonsense. These people can do all the bogus testing on kids until heck freezes over it means nothing because the critical element is missing. Testing parents!

I grew up unable to tolerate stress because I was never taught to. My father would explode at the slightest thing, so I thought that's how you're supposed to be. I'm 51 and have been struggling with the problem since I was about four. It's not my fault, it was how I was taught. Now if more parents were tested and studied to see how many of them can tolerate strees and teach their kids how to, there wouldn't be a problem. But no, let's blame the kids.

Looking back in my medical records, I noticed that when I was two, I was put on a diet because I was too fat. Why? It wasn't my fault. I wasn't cooking my meals. Love in my family's eyes equals food. You're sad? Eat. You're happy? Eat. You're stressed? Eat. If I was fat as a mere two year old, it wasn't my fault or lack of control. Maybe if more parents were tested and studied to see how many of them overfed their kids to shut them up, well we wouldn't have so many fat kids, right? Kids are taught to use food as a comforter.

Criminal behavior? It's got nothing to do with the kid but how they're raised. You have to teach kids not to steal, lie and cheat to get ahead at others' expense. I was always taught to respect other people's belongings. Sure, I played with my brother's toys when I wasn't supposed to, and yes I broke 'em because I didn't know I did. But I never stole from him, never stole from my parents. My parents told my brother and I "You get in jail? You bail yourself out. You got yourself into it? You get yourself out of it." My parents had a lot of faults but one thing they made certain of. We didn't cheat or steal. Lying was another matter. We got yelled at for lying and telling the truth. That's how screwed they were. I've learned on my own not to lie.

Low self-control? Uh... last I checked kids were kids. What they didn't know they didn't know for a reason. You have to teach them self-control and not just try once and think you've done your job.

Maybe there should be more testing and studies on parents who refuse to teach their kids what they need to know expecting them to self-teach. Self-esteem is nurtured. Self-control is taught. Stress release in a good way is taught. Let's stop blaming kids and how they turn out and start testing and studying parents who create the problems mentioned.

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Wow. Doctor Obvious strikes again. No kidding? Self-control affects your quality of life as an adult? Who would'a guessed. Who would'a thought that parents should teach their kids to learn to control themselves before turning them loose on themselves and the world at large? But, good lord, whatever you do, don't spank the little darlings or do anything that might dent their self-esteem! Psychology is a total crock. This is a perfect example of why people only take psychology in college for the easy A. . .

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One of my children had incredible tantrums when he was two years old. He is extremely intelligent and often could not understand why he couldn't do or have something. Today, he is a bright, self controlled 18 year old. That study is absurd.

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This study reveals nothing new. Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence, cites "the marshmallow test." 4 year olds were told they could have one marshmallow imediately or could have two if they waited ten minutes. A longitudinal study revealed just about the same results as this study. Those who had the self control to wait fared much better across several indicators than those who could not. Self control does matter.

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Today many parents do not do their job. Both of our parents worked, kept a clean house and taught us right from wrong, respect for ourselves and others. Parents today want to be friends to their children and anybody can see that that has nto worked. Children today run their parents, in our day parents set the rules and inforced them.

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I agree with the author on this story, as we have raised four children, three are pure success stories, and the youngest has been in complete turmoil her whole life. Nothing but pain and worry from us parents......go figure

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That is perhaps valid in the Southern Hemisphere. It is just the opposite in the Northern Hemisphere, possibly due to the correolis effect, or maybe it is just political correctness that means we are not allowed to speak about such things.

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Anyone should rather see their children disciplined and self-controlled, than see them in prison later!! This is definitely taught by example, and by discipline by the parents, and other adults in the community and in the schools.
When dr. spock came out with his book, in the 1960's I had just had our first child. Since I was only 20 when she was born, I felt that I needed any advice I could get, and I read his book. After finishing it, I realized that he knew nothing about raising children! I decided to raise our children just as my wonderful parents did in our family. Years later, I found out that he had had NO children and thus no experience, when he wrote the book!
My Mother was consistent, and NEVER let any one of us five children, ever get away with anything. She only told you once, "No, honey, you can't do that!" You knew that she meant it, and we would NOT try her, because we knew that the spanking would come immediately if we did! She did not yell at us, because she meant it the first time, and she stayed calm, and used the switch, or her hands, on our bottoms. When she got thru with the spanking she would sit down at eye level, and tell us, "Honey, this hurt me, more than it hurt you, and I don't like to spank you, but you have to learn to obey me, in order to grow up, and get along with other people in society. We can't just do whatever we want to, all the time." She explained this so well, that we could see and understand what she meant. As we saw others get their spankings at home or in school, we all learned from our own mistakes and other's also.
My wonderful Daddy had to spank me only once, when I was 16, when I said something sassy to my Mother. He heard me, and told me to go into the bathroom, and lean over the bathtub! I did, and he whipped me well. He told me afterwards, "Genie, don't you ever talk to your Mother like that again!" I never did, and don't believe that any of my siblings did either, because they witnessed my discipline! I never had any trouble as a teen, because I knew that he meant business! I was glad that he did this. These are the kind of things that kids need, to help them have peace of mind, and contentment and happiness in life. It helps them to feel secure when they know someone loves them this much! We had the most peaceful and happy family and neighborhood ever, because all of the neighborhood stuck together and had the same standards.
There is always authority in life, from the beginning, and God is always watching us. We have made a big mistake by letting the government tell us that children can't be spanked in school and that the teachers can't talk about God! When you have seen what works, there is NO excuse! No one can learn in school, without peace and quiet, and it is no wonder that we NOW have such trouble getting and keeping good teachers! Also, that many of the kids are in such a mess. We know what WORKS!
It is important to realize that in the Bible, the best book of wisdom, that it tells us, "Spare the rod, and spoil the child!" No one should ever want their children to be spoiled, and then have to learn life's lessons the HARD way. What children are taught as small children, they keep forever, and it helps them to grow up, and become adults, and helps build peace on earth. One of the most important things in life, is a loving Mother,and Daddy, to teach you all that they can. That time is the most valuable!
If you have ever been around a spoiled adult, you wouldn't want that for anyone in the family! By the way, our daughter, even though she got the few spankings, doesn't remember ever getting one! She is a very responsible and loving daughter and wife.
Consequences teach, and builds responsible citizens, and helps them grow up and become more civilized. We should not want to go back to barbarianism! Love, discipline, teaching and toughness makes the best society!
If anyone has ever learned anything in history class in school, they would want to keep this Nation the best that has ever been, by keeping the standards that have made it great! agenie

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Actually, my parents taught me to lie and I was frequently punished
for not lying. I have never cheated but I have been accused of cheating. I have never stolen even a pencil but I have been accused.
You blame the parents! Our society does not reward honesty. Our
society rewards crooks. As for myself, I can stand before God and
God would have no problem with me. That is important to me. Not to the world. Perfect no. However, I am a work in progress. Each day is another day to bring joy and love to myself and others. You will not see me condemn others nor judge others. That is not my job. If you want change, start with yourself. My parents did the best they could. No it was not what I wanted but it was their best. We all could use an improvement in our relations to others. Blame is useless.

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It's common sense. The younger you start learning anything, you have the CHANCE to be better at it whether it is reading, football, music, or self-control. The kids who learned self-control early in life continue to grow all the time the kids without are having tantrums. They aren't going to stop and wait for them to catch up. This is the justification for millions of dollars worth of preschool federal money. I'm not sure you can learn in a group or class everything you can learn one on one but you work with what you have.

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Here we go again, let's keep labeling kids. Kids have to be taught acceptable social behavior and limits. Kids start with a blank slate so to speak and they will imitate what they see and hear. Another thing is that genetics play a huge part in the way people turn out as well. We are predisposed to certain characteristics. It's not to say that we cannot change our behavior and certain charcteristics as we mature, but some people have a more difficult time of it.Should we do have a society of clones where every behavior is predictable and controlled? That would certainly keep things need and sterile. I bet most of the people making these observations have no kids themselves.

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The author himself admits that self-control can be learned, so basically a 3 year-old's behavior is already the end product of how his parents have been raising him since he was born, since kids don't just start at age 3 to pick up certain behaviors. One thing I can confirm: the kids with poor self-control do get into more trouble, and you don't even have to wait until they're 12. I work at my kids' elementary school and see hundreds of children every day. The kids who have trouble behaving quietly during line-up are also the kids that go to the principal's office most often. And when you dig a little deeper, it all goes back to their parents not doing a good job parenting. But what's sad about the whole thing: I can look at an 8 year-old child now and tell from his behavior that he'll either drop out of school or end up in jail.

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